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New Patent for Serving Ads to Newspaper Sites

Posted by timothy on from the and-now-for-our-next-trick dept.

mshiltonj writes: "Global Network announced today that they have a new patent on 'serving ads via a computer to a network of newspaper websites.' They are actively going to enforce the patent too. I heard, but could not verify online, that they placed a print ad announcing the patent in the Wall Street journal. 'The placement of this ad is the first in several steps we intend to take in order to notify key industry participants that we have been granted this patent. We are following proper legal protocol by publicly informing members of the publishing and advertising industries who may unknowingly be in violation of our patent,' commented Mr. James Mason, President and CEO of Global Network."

4 of 48 comments (clear)

  1. Wow, Marketing AND Patent Abuse... by Dr.+Bent · · Score: 4, Funny

    ...do they eat babies too?

  2. Common Sense by medcalf · · Score: 4, Funny

    I would patent common sense in patent awards, and could claim no prior art with some validity, but I'm afraid that the licensing revenue would be pretty damned small.

    --
    -- Two men say they're Jesus. One of them must be wrong. - Dire Straits
  3. The most profitable patent of all by robolemon · · Score: 2, Funny
    Heck with newspaper ads!

    I'm going to patent a technology that distributes random patents to customers. Sign up for my service and my automated database of hundreds to thousands of "existing and entrenched"(tm) public-domain technologies will work for you! Just think of all the royalties you can charge once you patent things such as:

    • Clicking the mouse
    • Turning on the computer
    • Muting the television
    • Muting the computer
    and thousands more everyday! Plus, our complex pattern matching software ensures you that a steady stream of patents that involve multiple technologies combined in obvious ways will be yours to control as well! For instance:
    • Listening to headphones while playing music on the computer
    • Listening to speakers while music is playing on the computer
    • Listening to headphones while spoken-word performances are playing on the computer
    and billions more! Why pay for sissy patent attorneys when you can get our service for the mere cost of 10% of all royalties collected?! It's a steal and quite a deal!

    Disclaimer: We are not responsible for any legal charges or lost patents. Void where prohibited.

    --

    I design user interfaces for a free network management application,

  4. iucking fdiots. by Dausha · · Score: 2, Funny

    When the ITO patents idiocy, only idiots will work for the ITO. Oh, wait . . .

    --
    What those who want activist courts fear is rule by the people.