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Delivering an Earth-Shattering Discovery?

Posted by Cliff on from the don't-panic dept.

An anonymous reader asks: "Just for fun... suppose you've made an Earth-shattering discovery that, when revealed, will cause massive social upheaval. Maybe you've discovered a new energy source or weapon, or figured out how to factor large primes in seconds, or learned how to time travel back in time and affect the present. Being a nice guy, you decide to warn the world now and give everybody a few years to prepare before revealing the discovery. How can you absolutely encrypt or otherwise protect your discovery, but guarantee its revealing at a certain future date even if you and everybody you know is long gone? For example, could you bounce an electromagnetic signal describing the discovery off a celestial body several light-years away?"

16 of 583 comments (clear)

  1. factor large primes? by Francis · · Score: 5, Funny

    Hell, I can already do that.

    int factorLargePrime( int largePrime ) {
    return largePrime;
    }

    --

    --
    #include <malloc.h>
    free(your.mind);
    1. Re:factor large primes? by Virtex · · Score: 5, Funny

      No, you got it all wrong. The story said "factor large primes *in seconds*". Yours works in microseconds. Better to do it like this:

      int factorLargePrime( int largePrime ) {
      sleep( 2 );
      return largePrime;
      }

      --
      For every post, there is an equal and opposite re-post.
    2. Re:factor large primes? by selectspec · · Score: 4, Funny
      MY God!!! THE World as we know it HAS BEEN Shattered !!!!!! SOCIAL UPHEAVALL..... WE'RE ALL GOING TO DIE!!! SOMEBODY'S FINALY DONE IT!!!!

      Heston on beach: You bastards really did it! You factored primes in seconds!

      --

      Someone you trust is one of us.

    3. Re:factor large primes? by HanzoSan · · Score: 4, Funny

      Too bad that program doesnt compile because you dont have a main function main() you dont have any header files either,

      If you are going to post some fiction source code, at least do it like they do in movies.

      1010110101 1010110101
      1010101011 1010110101
      1010101011 1010110101
      1010101011 1010110101

      --
      If you use Linux, please help development of Autopac
    4. Re:factor large primes? by jcoy42 · · Score: 5, Funny

      Dude! She's hot- come on, type in the rest!

      --
      Never trust an atom. They make up everything.
  2. Easy... by RinkSpringer · · Score: 4, Funny

    Write it down using my handwriting, it'll take them centuries to decipher that...

  3. Easy! by MediaBoy77 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Send it through an AOL mail gateway!

    1. Re:Easy! by archen · · Score: 4, Funny

      Hi,

      How are you?

      I give you this discovery to have your advice.

      Attachment: [discovery.exe]

  4. Um... by awx · · Score: 5, Funny

    why? What have you done now? Why are you asking such an interesting question whilst chosing to remain anonymous?

    --
    Feel that power? That's mah MOUSING FINGER
  5. Obligatory Simpsons Quote by I+Love+this+Company! · · Score: 5, Funny

    Milhouse: We gotta spread this stuff around. Let's put it on the internet!
    Bart: No! We have to reach people whose opinions actually matter! And I think I know how.

    --

    "All art is quite useless." -- Oscar Wilde
  6. to serve man.... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny
    For example, could you bounce an electromagnetic signal describing the discovery off a celestial body several light-years away?"

    that is a really stupid idea. do not, i repeat, do not give the information to an alien race first.

  7. i've got a better question ... by akb · · Score: 4, Funny

    ... "can anyone locate an ask slashdot question lamer than this one?"

    I think the answer to this question is "no" but I eargerly await a counterexample.

  8. I'll get me towel by Subcarrier · · Score: 5, Funny

    an Earth-Shattering Discovery

    Look, it's the Vogons, isn't it?

    --
    "I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them." -- George H. W. Bush
  9. Tried and true by rneches · · Score: 4, Funny

    Build a gigantic secret base under an island somewhere. Equip with bad 70's decor, absurd super-weapons, henchmen, girls in swimsuits that inexplicably produce large caliber handguns when required, speed boats, hilicopters, and so forth. Put security cameras everywhere, and pay a midget or a guy with claws or something to monitor them. Obtain an absurd exotic pet, like a singing tapir or a farting oscilot. Train said pet to run errands about the island. Develop some mildly disturbing hobby, interest or passtime, such as bobbing for bat guano or hunting opera singers with a crossbow. The secret plans themselves, of course, should be encoded somehow in a fantastically ugly peice of fo-futurostic art. Where else?

    --
    In spite of the suggestions and all the tests that I have made, I have not cavato a spider from the hole.
  10. I have discovered... by tlambert · · Score: 4, Funny

    I have discovered a truly marvelous method, which the margin of this Slashdot posting is too narrow to contain.

    -- Terry

  11. Pair-a-ducks. by zCyl · · Score: 4, Funny

    For example, if what you discovered was time travel, simply send the damn machine, or better yet, millions of the machine into the future 2 years from now.

    Funny you shouild mention that. That's exactly what you're going to do in 5 years when you do invent time travel. Except then I will wait two years, take one of the machines back, steal your prototype, and bring it back to me last week, at which point I will announce that I have just invented it...