Posted by
michael
on from the patent-office-fails-the-turing-test dept.
gondaba writes "The US Patent and Trademark Office has
granted an all-encompassing patent to ActiveBuddy that covers every step of
IM botmaking technology. According to internetnews, ActiveBuddy now plans to
enforce
the patent, even though the existence of prior art is well-known and documented."
Re:Have to say it...
by
Subcarrier
·
· Score: 2, Funny
The US Patent and Trademark Office has granted an all-encompassing patent to ActiveBuddy that covers every step of IM botmaking technology. According to internetnews, ActiveBuddy now plans to enforce the patent...
Sounds like a job for... ROBOCOP!
-- "I have opinions of my own, strong opinions, but I don't always agree with them." -- George H. W. Bush
I'm patenting ass slapping!
by
tommck
·
· Score: 4, Funny
I want to patent ass slapping while having sex. I know people have been doing it for a long time, but I am the first to patent, so I am going to enforce my patent!
I'll make millions. At worst, if I can't get any royalties, I'll sell access to everyone's court-orderd bedroom webcam (for my patent enforcement)
I can smell the money now!
T:-)
-- ----
It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it's told.
Re:I'm patenting ass slapping!
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 4, Funny
that's not money you're smelling
Re:I'm patenting ass slapping!
by
elflord
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Actually the USPO would probably approve the patent. Simply because their usual method of looking for prior art does not involve watching porn.
But maybe it does. It would certainly explain their
failure to find prior art in computer technology patents.
Patent examiner goes to his office, watches a porn movie for a while, comes back and says "yeah, I've been looking for prior art for the last hour, I couldn't find any. This application meets our usual standards."
Every step of IM botmaking technology?
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Does it please you to believe I am botmaking technology?
A.L.I.C.E., a heavyweight at 11 kilos, takes on SmarterChild, sponsored by ActiveBuddy, Inc. The prize? Utter destruction by licensing fees!
Let's go behind the ring for exclusive one-on-one interviews with the contenders.
SmarterChild, what's your take on the situation? SC: I don't know, I just do! How do you feel about this whole prior art thing? SC: Listings for Prior Art, KS... Austin Powers, playing at 12:30, 2:30, 3:30...
All right... moving on... A.L.I.C.E., how do you feel about this upcoming match? ALICE: I will ask my botmaster for the answer. Will you wrest control of the patent? ALICE: I have no answer for that. NYU and Berkeley suck!
"We invented interactive agents. Anybody using his or her own tools (to make bots) is obviously using our technology without paying us to license the server, for example.
So... anybody using their own stuff is obviously using your stuff... but by your admission they're using their own stuff so by definition they're not using your stuff... but you stated they are using your stuff which would mean they arn't using their own stuff... that is a contradiction... and they have to license your server... Illogical. Illogical.
*smoke erupts from ears and collapses*
-- I stole this Sig
I can see the spam of the future....
by
CaffeineAddict2001
·
· Score: 5, Funny
Hello my name Alice!
Nice to meet you Alice.
Nice to meet you too! Have I told you how much I love snack-ums?
I don't care.
I care greatly for snack-ums.
Leave me alone.
Nobody would leave a party with snack-ums!
Is that so?
I don't understand, but I do understand one thing: Snack-Ums are delicious!
You seem a little obsessed with snack-ums carla.
I AM OBSESSED WITH SNACK-UMS!
Re:I can see the spam of the future....
by
Peter+Trepan
·
· Score: 4, Funny
I Love Snack-Ums: Hello, I Love Cheesy Poofs! Have I told you how much I love Snack-Ums?
I Love Cheesy Poofs: That's very interesting, I Love Snack-Ums. Have I told you how delicious Cheesy Poofs are?
I Love Duff Beer: That's very interesting, I Love Cheesy Poofs. Have I told you how delicious Duff Beer is to persons of legal age in their respective states?
*I Love Taking Brand Name Pharmeceuticals has entered the room.*
Yeah yeah, bad bot impersonation, but its better than the: While they are handing out patents I'll take a patent out on math/science/sex/etc comments that will start cropping up.
I know! You could pretty much guarantee that those comments would get posted immediately. Karma whores.
Hell, anyone who's been here long enough could use Perl to write a Slashbo.....
*Sigh* Nevermind.
Soko
-- "Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
WHAT?! She WASN'T real?!?
Damnit, I thought I could have gotten some.
-- WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
Re:The ultimate patent
by
zmalone
·
· Score: 3, Funny
The wheel was patented by John Keogh from Melborne Australia, it was mostly a demonstation of what is wrong with the Australian patent system. The BBC covered it, as did the Register (although I'm not finding their link at the moment).
ATHENS--The US Patent Office awarded the country of Greece a patent for "government of a people via said people's involvement in the selection of said government." "Greece invented the concept of democracy over 2000 years ago. We have decided that it is time to enforce our intellectual property rights to this governmental model", Anthony Papatriantafilou, Greece's Ambassador to the United States said yesterday. "We're an ongoing enterprise, and we have to think about our future." Greece will send out letters demanding licensing fees from democratic governments around the globe, said Papatriantafilou. Failure to pay the fees or cease running as a democracy would "bring about legal action from the government of Greece, the only legitimate rights holders to government of, by and for the people."
"Patent #1: A system for approving any vague description of something that might resemble, on shallow inspection, an invention. Issued by the USPO to the USPO."
Prior art ... the USPTO itself!
by
VisualStim
·
· Score: 3, Funny
Perhaps the prior art could be found within the USPTO itself. From a typical technology patent application:
Applicant: I'd like to file for a patent on my idea. USPTO: Tell me about your idea. Applicant: My idea will change everything. No one will be able to surf the web without using my idea. I'll make billions! USPTO: You sound excited. Applicant: Excited? Who wouldn't be? USPTO: I'll ask the questions. Applicant: Oh, sorry. Now, about that application. USPTO: Oh, you'd like a patent application. Of course sir. Here is your patent, #123,456,789,012,345.
Re:Question for you then
by
NoRights
·
· Score: 2, Funny
Corporations are made out of PEOPLE.
Is it just me, or did that have a Soylent Green feel to it?
Slashdot Mirror
All Your Bots are Belong to Us!
AMCGLTD.COM. Where cats, science fictio
I'll make millions. At worst, if I can't get any royalties, I'll sell access to everyone's court-orderd bedroom webcam (for my patent enforcement)
I can smell the money now!
T :-)
---- It puts the lotion on its skin or else it gets the hose again. It does this whenever it's told.
Does it please you to believe I am botmaking technology?
Celebrity BotMatch...!
A.L.I.C.E., a heavyweight at 11 kilos, takes on SmarterChild, sponsored by ActiveBuddy, Inc. The prize? Utter destruction by licensing fees!
Let's go behind the ring for exclusive one-on-one interviews with the contenders.
SmarterChild, what's your take on the situation?
SC: I don't know, I just do!
How do you feel about this whole prior art thing?
SC: Listings for Prior Art, KS... Austin Powers, playing at 12:30, 2:30, 3:30...
All right... moving on... A.L.I.C.E., how do you feel about this upcoming match?
ALICE: I will ask my botmaster for the answer.
Will you wrest control of the patent?
ALICE: I have no answer for that. NYU and Berkeley suck!
"We invented interactive agents. Anybody using his or her own tools (to make bots) is obviously using our technology without paying us to license the server, for example.
So... anybody using their own stuff is obviously using your stuff... but by your admission they're using their own stuff so by definition they're not using your stuff... but you stated they are using your stuff which would mean they arn't using their own stuff... that is a contradiction... and they have to license your server... Illogical. Illogical.
*smoke erupts from ears and collapses*
I stole this Sig
Hello my name Alice!
Nice to meet you Alice.
Nice to meet you too! Have I told you how much I love snack-ums?
I don't care.
I care greatly for snack-ums.
Leave me alone.
Nobody would leave a party with snack-ums!
Is that so?
I don't understand, but I do understand one thing: Snack-Ums are delicious!
You seem a little obsessed with snack-ums carla.
I AM OBSESSED WITH SNACK-UMS!
Yeah yeah, bad bot impersonation, but its better than the:
While they are handing out patents I'll take a patent out on math/science/sex/etc
comments that will start cropping up.
I know! You could pretty much guarantee that those comments would get posted immediately. Karma whores.
Hell, anyone who's been here long enough could use Perl to write a Slashbo.....
*Sigh* Nevermind.
Soko
"Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm." - Anonymous
Alright, but I'm patenting oxygen itself.
Everytime you use my product in -your- product you own me royalties.
I enjoy being at the top of a pyramid scam.
With my dying breath, I curse Zoidberg!
WHAT?! She WASN'T real?!? Damnit, I thought I could have gotten some.
WWJD.... for a Klondike bar?
The wheel was patented by John Keogh from Melborne Australia, it was mostly a demonstation of what is wrong with the Australian patent system. The BBC covered it, as did the Register (although I'm not finding their link at the moment).
ATHENS--The US Patent Office awarded the country of Greece a patent for "government of a people via said people's involvement in the selection of said government." "Greece invented the concept of democracy over 2000 years ago. We have decided that it is time to enforce our intellectual property rights to this governmental model", Anthony Papatriantafilou, Greece's Ambassador to the United States said yesterday. "We're an ongoing enterprise, and we have to think about our future." Greece will send out letters demanding licensing fees from democratic governments around the globe, said Papatriantafilou. Failure to pay the fees or cease running as a democracy would "bring about legal action from the government of Greece, the only legitimate rights holders to government of, by and for the people."
I'm much funnier now that I'm a subscriber.
Hmmm.... what's patent #1, I wonder?
"Patent #1: A system for approving any vague description of something that might resemble, on shallow inspection, an invention. Issued by the USPO to the USPO."
Perhaps the prior art could be found within the USPTO itself. From a typical technology patent application:
Applicant: I'd like to file for a patent on my idea.
USPTO: Tell me about your idea.
Applicant: My idea will change everything. No one will be able to surf the web without using my idea. I'll make billions!
USPTO: You sound excited.
Applicant: Excited? Who wouldn't be?
USPTO: I'll ask the questions.
Applicant: Oh, sorry. Now, about that application.
USPTO: Oh, you'd like a patent application. Of course sir. Here is your patent, #123,456,789,012,345.
Corporations are made out of PEOPLE. Is it just me, or did that have a Soylent Green feel to it?
Does it bother you that Paging Eliza: Patenting IM Bots?
I'm going to patent being incompetent and then sue the patent office for infringement.