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How To Clone A Mammoth

Posted by timothy on from the time-to-buy-a-new-bench dept.

psyconaut writes: "In a story that sounds more fitting for the big screen than the London Times, Japanese researchers are planning on cloning a mammoth by impregnating an Indian elephant. Apparently the source of the DNA will be a newly found mammoth specimen in Siberia. Due to genetic constraints, the final mammoth specimen will only be 88% pure mammoth and the process will take about 50 years."

14 of 303 comments (clear)

  1. Do we really need that much detail? by PyroMosh · · Score: 3, Funny

    About 100 mammoths have been recovered in Russia, among them the world's finest museum examples. These include the skeleton of the Adams mammoth, found in Yakutia in 1806, and the Berezovka mammoth, recovered in northeastern Siberia in 1901. This had an erect penis, thought to be because it died of asphyxiation. The stuffed Berezovka mammoth and the skeleton are both on display at the Zoological Museum of St Petersburg.

    I mean, c'mon, isn't that just begging for the trolls to just run with it?

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    1. Re:Do we really need that much detail? by cswiii · · Score: 3, Funny

      Oh, seriously, c'mon now, look at what you're implying. I seriously doubt these 14 year-old, scrawny, pimply trolls could lift an erect mammoth penis, much less run with it!

      If they could do anything that somewhat resembled heavy lifting, they wouldn't be trolling Slashdot. Perhaps if they could recognize anything that somewhat resembled an erection, the same could be said.

      ...Opening the floodgates...

  2. Need bigger cats by Shadow-Wing · · Score: 2, Funny

    So when are they going to clone some sabre-tooth
    tigers?

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    1. Re:Need bigger cats by rosewood · · Score: 5, Funny

      Thats a scary thought... what if he locks me out of my house and I am forced to bang on my door and scream for my wife?

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  3. Yummy by Hanul · · Score: 2, Funny

    I'm waiting for my first real mammoth steak. Flintstones had some, I want some, too.

  4. No doubt by Advocadus+Diaboli · · Score: 3, Funny
    that the species of mammoth extinct.

    "Due to genetic constraints, the final mammoth specimen will only be 88% pure mammoth and the process will take about 50 years."

    50 years of pregnancy? Usually elephants have 2 years (if I'm not mistaking this). So no wonder that mamooths didn't have much kids and were wiped out from that planet.

  5. Isn't this a movie? by shut_up_man · · Score: 3, Funny

    Extremely rich but cracked old dude (Richard Attenborough) decides to make a theme park island with cloned mammoths, re-established by using the DNA of a Siberian mammoth and filling out the rest with that of an Indian Elephant. All of the creatures are created female, but he didn't count on the rare sex-change properties of the Indian Elephant when viewing Sex in the City reruns. The mammoths breed like wildfire, overwhelming the hi-tech pens and security systems during a hurricane, as the fat chief programmer (Wayne Knight) smuggles out a baby mammoth in a tin of shaving cream. Some of the mammoths exhibit unsettlingly high intelligence, hunting as a pack and making musical instruments with their trunks. Luckily a mammoth researcher (Sam Neill) his partner (Laura Dern) and a chaos theorist (Jeff Goldblum) are present and save the day.

  6. Re:Why? by Genom · · Score: 2, Funny

    "Okay, let's do the T-rex next.."
    "Why?"
    "Why not?"

    "It might EAT us?"

  7. Yes, you too can beat evolution... by Ami+Ganguli · · Score: 2, Funny

    So you thought those thick glasses and hairy ears would take you out of the gene pool forever? Not true! Now you too can beat mother-nature.

    All you have to do is get caught in an avalanche and, a few thousand years from now, scientists will use you to populate a zoo full of half-blind, hairy-eared humans!

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    It is tempting, if the only tool you have is a hammer, to treat everything as if it were a nail. - Abraham Maslow
  8. In other news.. by fadeaway · · Score: 3, Funny

    McDonalds has reportedly changed their motto from "100% Real Beef!" to "100% Real Meat!"..

  9. Disney's Involvement by The+Dobber · · Score: 2, Funny


    Word is that Disney is helping to fund this. They've asked for a special one-off cross breed of a basset hound and the Mammoth.

    Look for the release of "Real Life Dumbo" in the year 2053.

  10. Ice Man by bachlab · · Score: 1, Funny

    Clone Ice Man. He might know about the Mammoth.

  11. How to impregnate an Indian elephant by V.P. · · Score: 2, Funny

    Very carefully.

  12. Re:Neanderthal by sharkey · · Score: 3, Funny

    Things won't get really interesting until we clone a Neanderthal.

    Hopefully, they'll clone him a nice, sexy cave nug so he won't get lonely, bud......dy.

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