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Little Green Men
John O. "Jack" Banion is a man of fearsome power. A combination of Larry King and Bill O'Reilly, he hosts a pompous Sunday morning "issues" talk show that is the hub of Washington media. Politicians hate him, but need him. The dowdy matrons of beltway society fall over themselves to get him to attend their dinner parties. He has the luxury of dismissing millions of dollars in endorsements as beneath his lofty station. In an early scene, the President appears on his show and gets treated with righteous disdain, about which he privately muses "Presidents come and go."
Banion's life is filled with stifling protocols that he has fully embraced. He has few passions -- his wife seems happily neglected, the arts bore him, he doesn't even truly care about the politics he is immersed in, except to the extent that he wields influence over it. Even his cynicism rings hollow.
Enter one Nathan Scrubbs, a frustrated, mid-level, black-ops bureaucrat and professional alien abductor for an unmentionable government program called MJ-12. For years, Scrubbs has located prime abductee candidates: those who are personally reliable and believable, yet have the social and educational standing that would cause the media to doubt their veracity -- that is to say, trustworthy rubes. He orders their abductions with bored detachment, then monitors the media reaction to ensure that there is just a subtle but consistent undercurrent of belief that can be used for various manipulative purposes (bolstering the defense budget, scaring the Russians, funding satellites, etc.).
But Scrubs is bitter. He dreams of being a CIA field op, but was rejected by the agency. His job is a dead end. He can't advance, can't transfer, can't even talk about it with anyone. So one Sunday morning, blind drunk on Bloody Marys, while watching Banion's talk show, he authorizes a rogue abduction of Banion.
Banion goes public about his abduction and finds himself outcast from his elite circles while Scrubbs flees for his life from his own agency. Not surprisingly, events spiral out of control and the fates of Scrubbs and Banion intertwine. No more hoaxing unsuspecting rednecks, or manipulating meaningless government policies; for the first time in their lives they find there are deadly serious consequences to their actions. The collision of the contemptuous gravitas of the political actors with the madcap world of UFO conspiracists provides ample opportunity to compare the two and leave us wondering which one is sillier.
As a former speechwriter for Bush the Elder, Buckley, the editor of Forbes FYI, is very assured in lampooning the Washington DC aristocracy he is undoubtedly familiar with. He perfectly captures the egos behind the noble facades in the degrade-or-be-degraded Capitol high society. After his on-air flaying of the President, Banion is greeted by other power players at an elite dinner party.
But here was Tony Flemm, host of the second-rated Washington show, trying not to look jealous. "Jack. Nice show."
"Do you think? I don't know."
That's right, torture the poor bastard, make him explain, make him elaborate in front of everyone on just why he though it was such a good show. But wait, here came Burt Galilee, beaming, shaking his head in mock horror at Banion's ruffling of presidential eagle feathers. And here, just behind him, came the Speaker of the House of Representatives, and behind him, the French ambassador. A triumph.
Buckley is equally sardonic with the abductee population, yet, perhaps because they are painfully sincere despite their silliness, they are treated with a bit less vitriol.
Another of [hypnotherapist Bart Hupkin's] regressees shared her breakthrough of wrapping herself in cellophane, which, like panty hose, made it more difficult for the aliens to drive home their vile phallic probes. She noted that this also helped with weight loss. Another abductee announced that she was depressed because she missed her alien children. The father had, contrary to their joint custody arrangement, taken them off to the Pleiades with a "slut" from Aldebran. Hupkin said she should not take this personally. Aliens were notoriously problematic when it came to commitment.
Banion left the workshop unable to shake the feeling that there was something lacking in these people's lives...Banion had to keep reminding himself that the early Christians must have been an odd bunch, too.
As with any satire of length, the droll commentary can only take you so far; then you need characters that can carry the story. Though both are essentially passionless cynics at heart, Banion and Scrubbs flesh out fairly well. A central irony: Banion finds zeal for the abductee movement that he never experienced in the "serious" world of politics, and Scrubbs finally gets a taste undercover agent life as he flees the wrath of MJ-12. The plot runs a bit low on steam towards the end, but by that time we are, if not sympathetic for, at least interested enough in Banion and Scrubbs to want to know how it all ends.
Buckley takes an unbiased approach to satire. He is non-partisan regarding politics or social standing; he punctures the pretentious and skewers the self-important wherever he finds them. If you would rather be amused than disgusted with the inanity you read in the news or see on TV, Little Green Men is for you.
You can purchase Little Green Men from bn.com; (Note the remaindered price of $3.99 for the hardcover). Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.
foist poitst
i love you laury
I wouldn't bother coming to Earth.
I read it a while ago... quite funny... as the reviewer says, one of the funniest satires i've read in a long time..
hubba hubba!
Little Green Men
Posted by timothy on Friday September 20, @10:15AM
David Mazzotta writes "Reading like an extended, Darin Morgan-penned episode of the X-files (Humbug, Bruckman, Coprophages, Chung), Christopher Buckley's Little Green Men uses alien abductions and UFO conspiracies as a backdrop for some of the surest and funniest satires in recent years." Read on for the rest of David's review; I tend to prefer books from William F. Buckley, but this one sounds fun.
Little Green Men
author Christopher Buckley
pages 317
publisher Random House
rating 8.0
reviewer David Mazzotta
ISBN 0742963314
summary Political and social satire wrapped in a zany story of alien abduction.
John O. "Jack" Banion is a man of fearsome power. A combination of Larry King and Bill O'Reilly, he hosts a pompous Sunday morning "issues" talk show that is the hub of Washington media. Politicians hate him, but need him. The dowdy matrons of beltway society fall over themselves to get him to attend their dinner parties. He has the luxury of dismissing millions of dollars in endorsements as beneath his lofty station. In an early scene, the President appears on his show and gets treated with righteous disdain, about which he privately muses "Presidents come and go."
Banion's life is filled with stifling protocols that he has fully embraced. He has few passions -- his wife seems happily neglected, the arts bore him, he doesn't even truly care about the politics he is immersed in, except to the extent that he wields influence over it. Even his cynicism rings hollow.
Enter one Nathan Scrubbs, a frustrated, mid-level, black-ops bureaucrat and professional alien abductor for an unmentionable government program called MJ-12. For years, Scrubbs has located prime abductee candidates: those who are personally reliable and believable, yet have the social and educational standing that would cause the media to doubt their veracity -- that is to say, trustworthy rubes. He orders their abductions with bored detachment, then monitors the media reaction to ensure that there is just a subtle but consistent undercurrent of belief that can be used for various manipulative purposes (bolstering the defense budget, scaring the Russians, funding satellites, etc.).
But Scrubs is bitter. He dreams of being a CIA field op, but was rejected by the agency. His job is a dead end. He can't advance, can't transfer, can't even talk about it with anyone. So one Sunday morning, blind drunk on Bloody Marys, while watching Banion's talk show, he authorizes a rogue abduction of Banion.
Banion goes public about his abduction and finds himself outcast from his elite circles while Scrubbs flees for his life from his own agency. Not surprisingly, events spiral out of control and the fates of Scrubbs and Banion intertwine. No more hoaxing unsuspecting rednecks, or manipulating meaningless government policies; for the first time in their lives they find there are deadly serious consequences to their actions. The collision of the contemptuous gravitas of the political actors with the madcap world of UFO conspiracists provides ample opportunity to compare the two and leave us wondering which one is sillier.
As a former speechwriter for Bush the Elder, Buckley, the editor of Forbes FYI, is very assured in lampooning the Washington DC aristocracy he is undoubtedly familiar with. He perfectly captures the egos behind the noble facades in the degrade-or-be-degraded Capitol high society. After his on-air flaying of the President, Banion is greeted by other power players at an elite dinner party.
But here was Tony Flemm, host of the second-rated Washington show, trying not to look jealous. "Jack. Nice show."
"Do you think? I don't know."
That's right, torture the poor bastard, make him explain, make him elaborate in front of everyone on just why he though it was such a good show. But wait, here came Burt Galilee, beaming, shaking his head in mock horror at Banion's ruffling of presidential eagle feathers. And here, just behind him, came the Speaker of the House of Representatives, and behind him, the French ambassador. A triumph.
Buckley is equally sardonic with the abductee population, yet, perhaps because they are painfully sincere despite their silliness, they are treated with a bit less vitriol.
Another of [hypnotherapist Bart Hupkin's] regressees shared her breakthrough of wrapping herself in cellophane, which, like panty hose, made it more difficult for the aliens to drive home their vile phallic probes. She noted that this also helped with weight loss. Another abductee announced that she was depressed because she missed her alien children. The father had, contrary to their joint custody arrangement, taken them off to the Pleiades with a "slut" from Aldebran. Hupkin said she should not take this personally. Aliens were notoriously problematic when it came to commitment.
Banion left the workshop unable to shake the feeling that there was something lacking in these people's lives...Banion had to keep reminding himself that the early Christians must have been an odd bunch, too.
As with any satire of length, the droll commentary can only take you so far; then you need characters that can carry the story. Though both are essentially passionless cynics at heart, Banion and Scrubbs flesh out fairly well. A central irony: Banion finds zeal for the abductee movement that he never experienced in the "serious" world of politics, and Scrubbs finally gets a taste undercover agent life as he flees the wrath of MJ-12. The plot runs a bit low on steam towards the end, but by that time we are, if not sympathetic for, at least interested enough in Banion and Scrubbs to want to know how it all ends.
Buckley takes an unbiased approach to satire. He is non-partisan regarding politics or social standing; he punctures the pretentious and skewers the self-important wherever he finds them. If you would rather be amused than disgusted with the inanity you read in the news or see on TV, Little Green Men is for you.
You can purchase Little Green Men from bn.com; (Note the remaindered price of $3.99 for the hardcover). Slashdot welcomes readers' book reviews -- to see your own review here, read the book review guidelines, then visit the submission page.
It's great to see the word 'coprophage' featured on the front page.
[Insert CowboyNeal connection here.]
"The Bible - a review" is being prepared at the moment and will be posted to Slashdot in a few days - watch out for it!
Someone needs to put an end to this bullshit today.
Yesterday the Israelis killed:a 12 year old boy walking to the store to buy smokes for his dad
a 25 year old woman standing on her balcony
a 35 year old mentally handicapped man walking down the street
among others.
How many more 9/11's will it take before we realize that Zionism is terrorism? Every day that our tax dollars help Israelis occupy Palestine and kill Palestinians, we rightfully acquire new ememies. How much longer are we going to support the fictitious nation of Israel? How many generations of humans will we imperil through our obstinate support for these evil murderers?
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
And thus America & England began their meddling in the middle east. One of the first missions of our CIA and England's MI-5 (6?), around the same time as the creation of Israel, was to "neutralize" Iran's democratically elected President. A movement was born, and 26 years the Islamic Fundamentalists took over Iran. We couldn't have that, so we armed Saddam Hussein. Meanwhile we were still arming and funding Israel, so Saddam turned on us. There's a similar story with bin Laden & other mujahadeen. What a fucking comedy of errors this has become.
But none of this can possibly be true, since Bush informed us that Arabs are just jealous of our freedoms. Keep driving your SUVs, you fucking sheep.
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
Two words: self defense.
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
1: Write free software.
2: ?
3: Be abducted by green men.
4: Profit!
We're fighting al qaeda because they blew up two of our buildings and we're about to fight saddam hussein to get his oil, if nothing else. As to the sheep accusation, yes, it's true, we are sheep. No one knows where any of that 40% of our income the government takes goes and we think we are free, but we are just a more comfortable group of serfs.
Oh no! Someone is trying to distract us with...with...the TRUTH! Quick--somebody start waving the flag or something! The American Way of Life (TM) must be preserved! Won't someone please think of the economy?
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
Yawn. Another homophobic moron. Can't we get rid of these clowns?
Okay dickfaggot - let's look at what you said and see how I am right and you are wrong. (Although, I didn't actually read the post before I replied, just noted that the thread was off-topic.) You say that the poster is in favor of the Palestinians. I disagree. The post pushes a view that perpetuates the idea that the poster is in favor of the Palestinians but that doesn't prove anything. I can make a post that says Linux is cool. That doesn't mean I actually believe it. Boy, I guess I own you. By the way, I trolled you. As for your anti-Amerikan sentiment - I care, really I do. Take shots at me. Go ahead. You're probably a kike yourself you filthy American. (By the way, you have AIDS.)
N/T
"What is the sound of one belly slapping?"
Regardless of how many times you post "Another homophobic moron. Can't we get rid of these clowns?" being gay will still be wrong. Your alternative lifestyle is a disgrace. I am currently proposing legislation in Congress that would make homosexuality a crime punishable by life in prison. You, being a misguided ass-goblin, will soon be sent to a federal pen. where you can receive all the ass-poundings you desire. You see, I have all the answers. The fags get to continue being fags, just in prison. And all the decent citizens of this country are freed of the burden of having gay people out amongst us. Fuck you and your faggotry. You are a pox on this country. (You see how I actually put some thought and some effort into both of my replies to your "clown comment"? That is what you should be doing. Don't toss off cheap posts with no substance to champion your queer cause. No one will take you seriously. Clearly, from your post people will think you a casual observer who isn't willing to fight for faggot rights. On the other hand, a reply such as the ones that I craft will garnish respect for my commitment to ideals. Take that faggot.)