Sacrificial Broadband?

BitGuy asks: "SBC's VP of Network Engineering reckons that 78% of broadband users would give up their daily newspaper instead of living without their broadband connection (hmm, being a broadband user, I don't need a newspaper), and 63% said they'd give up their morning coffee (the freaks!). Personally I'd rather give up watching TV - what would the rest of Slashdot give up to keep your real sweet net access?"

Comments

teh vermillion futare of slash shit phirst poast

[Anonymous Coward]

The Future of SLASHDOT.

2002. Slashdot publishes 1,000,000th rumor passed off as actual story. The story generates 480 comments, 263 of which agree with the article, and 107 of which point out it's a rumor and are modded down as redundant. The remaining comments are all "first posts." or posts that contain any rational insight are modded "troll."
2002. CmdrTaco married to a human female, reports are that she does not have 46 chromosomes, however. Fent does display tendency to retardation.
2002. Slashdot parent corporation VA Research^W Linux^W Software stock worth 35 cents. Rumors that AOL, Microsoft, or even Jimmy the hobo who lives under the Longfellow Bridge may buy it.
2003. VA Software bought by Microsoft for a cup of coffee and a donut. All Microsoft-critical articles mysteriously disappear from Slashdot. Bill Gates as Borg logo replaced with Bill Gates as God. (Taco suggested that in order to be "God," or his vision of God, Gates would have to be seen in a NAMBLA T-shirt. Luckily good taste prevails in favor of the old man image in glowing aura.)
2004. CmdrTaco loses virginity, well, not sex with men virginity, that's long since gone, and not sex with anime blow up dolls, this time, real sex.
2004. The WIPO Troll returns again, showering Slashdot in 45,000 copies of the same post: "Lick my crotch hairs." Slashdot, despite running on 18 redundant IIS/8.0Beta6 servers, buckles under the load. The term "Slashdotted" is replaced with "WIPO-Trolled."
2004. Slashdot officially shut down. Millions of screaming, unwashed geeks invade Redmond campus and lynch Bill Gates.
2005. Linus Torvalds and Anal Cox found dead along with six penguins, a tub of crisco and several used condoms. FreeBSD users are glad the insanity is dying.
2005. CmdrTaco rumored to have had sex again, even with constant Viagra therapy, it took this long. He complains, I can be ready to go again in five minutes if I was looking at a nude man, to the dyslexic Fent.
2006. CowboiKneel found dead in hotel room with 56 pizza boxes covering his bloated corpse. Three suffocated gay prostitutes are extracted from beneath his body as police remove it with a backhoe.
2007. CmdrTaco actually has sex again, this time plugging Fent in the ass for a more manlike feel.
2007. BSD is still officially "dying." No word on when its demise will take place. FreeBSD 9 is delivered in perfect working order in a coherent superior, commercially viable and useable fashion with real documentation, the same practice followed since inception. Linux lunatics, after the death of Cox, are still trying to perfect the Trident driver while ignoring the existence of the GeForce 9 [Anyone have one of these? There are only 3 known Trident based cards left in the whole world? Please Contact Marcelo Tosatti. Expect a short, rude reply.]. Netcraft dies along with all the surveys they held on Microsoft and Linux servers are lost as well.
2007. CmdrTaco starts new weblog to replace Slashdot, creatively named Dotslash. Remainder of Linux users flock to the site and immediate WIPO-Troll it out of existence.
2007. Box running FreeBSD for 6 years sets world record for Unix uptime on consumer hardware.
2008. CmdrTaco has sex with his wife for the first time without thinking of men. He has dawned on the extra sexual pick me up for his twisted mind, small children.
2009. Marcelo Tosatti finally releases a version of the 2.4 Linux Kernel that is useable 2.4.29-RC2099.alpha.stage.99 (not -STABLE!). Fuck you Marcelo, YOU SUCK as a MAINTAINER.

Re:What do I have to give up? vermillion

[Anonymous Coward]

Lets go point by point, shall we...

1. Never been a fan of nuts, as for toads how could you not use their big mouths for SOMETHING good!?!
2. Thanks for being willing to save my "fucking faggot leftist liberal ass from chink death" despite anything to the contrary, I would appreciate such a grand gesture despite our apparent differences.
3. Cavities only appear on teeth, I specifically said that you were toothless, please remember to read a little more carefully next time.
4. As for "no discernable accent", I'll assume that is outside of the American, European or whatever country you call home's accent is? In any case, no accent is still an accent, just so you know.
5. Hating the KKK is good, hating the "yellow chinks" via a carte blanche (that's french for 'blank ticket', by the way) opinion based solely on a last name isn't so good.
6. As for your literacy level, please refer back to the third point, as well as the seventh point (below).
7. As for you fucking your mother, I never made the claim that you did indeed fuck your mother. I did refer to you by the term 'motherfucker' (note that in it's slang form it is one word, not two) which is merely a slang term used to label you as an undesirable individual. So in its intended form, it does apply in your case.
8. As for hating me, agh... bummer.
9. As for you hating "chink zipperhead", good for you I guess. My guess is that "chink zipperhead" doesn't think too much of you either.
10. As for hating "fascists, liberals, socialists and communists"... good great awesome and way to have an opinion on most forms of society. Do you have any wisdom to bestow on capitalism while we're at it? Just to seed the discussion, describe your option on the Enron, Global Crossing and Worldcom scandals, how those events have effected the world view of capitalism and what their long term effect will be on the concept of a society based on capitalism.
11. As for hating religious people, cool, grate awesome. I have to actually agree with you here... religion is the opiate for the masses after all.
12. As for the Mac Zealots, Zealots are bad, even over rice (funny ha ha).
13. "fat sexless LOTR obsessed closet fags", they ain't as bad as those Trekkies or Star Wars freaks.
14. As for a 20 sided die... to each his own.
15. (we'll just skip a few in the interest of time as you seem to hate ALOT of people, oh yea... 'Islamsits' is spelt Islamist)
16. "ignoramus"... bravo! You are now educated in my mind! A full 4 syllables! Impressive
17. As for being "judgmental"... pot, kettle, black.
18. Looking the part of an ass? I'll guess that is referring to me, as it is not apparent by your chosen sentence structure. So with that assumption, exactly which part of the ass? Left cheek? An ass hair covered in shit possibility? Please tell me as I'm dieing to know!
19. "I am hater of all, and those who would be useful must be aprecated by me. For so it is written." First off, 'aprecated' is spelt appreciated, and second can I get a business card of yours that states "master of the universe" or optionally "god of everything"?
20. "You are an imbalanced wanna be do-gooder" Imbalanced eh? Please refer to point 17
21. "Say hi to your pillow when you make love to it tonight." Will do, is there anything you would like me to mention to it? Anything would help to get it wetter then your 'wife' (please note the cheep shot I just took there). You don't mind that I'll be thinking of you while it rub one off, right? Then again it might be a lil anti-climatic seeing as how you're a big asshole and would therefore not offer much in the way of stimulation.

Well, I'm off to bed to rub up against that dry pillow (then again, you should know how that goes).

Remember, proper use of a condom could have prevented this conversation (now I'm anxiously awaiting the response to my own detriment on this comment =).

PS- vermillion? So am I vivid red or reddish orange?

Re:What do I have to give up? vermillion

[Anonymous Coward]

You've been trolled so badly you're flipping around in the bottom of the boat now, motherfucker.

Re:What do I have to give up? vermillion

[Anonymous Coward]

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Oh, and.

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Oh, and fuck the lameness compression filter.