Slashdot Mirror
Slashback: BBC, Crypto, Dummies [updated]
Let's get with it on those .ogg portables, OK?
rassie writes "Checking back at what used to be one of my most visited sites, I noticed that I might start using it again very soon. The BBC is returning to streaming in ogg format. From the page:
Update (2002-09-24): Yay, the legal issues have been resolved. We now have rights to all the of the BBC's radio output. Hopefully we should start kicking off these streams soon."
Your email is still (probably) safe. BitterOak writes "A recent Slashdot story reported that AES might have been broken by the new XL attack of Courtois and Pieprzyk. However, it appears there aren't enough linearly independent equations for this attack to work against AES. Cryptographer T. Moh has a brief explanation here, and Don Coppersmith posted a comment on the NIST AES discussion forum (under General Cryptanalytic Attacks), which comes to the same conclusion. Coppersmith is one of the world's greatest cryptographers, so it seems safe to assume that AES has not been broken at this point."
Hey, now it's just like most of the U.S.! yoink! writes "The BBC is running the following story detailing the end of the short-lived electronic gaming ban in Greece. The Government realised that (hopefully) relatively little gambling was involved with those playing computer, and console games all over the country. The decision to clarify those games which are, in fact, electronic gambling facilities are the only forms of electronic gaming with which the revised legislation now concerns itself."
The lawyers sound like ... dummies. Blue Aardvark House writes "I am an author for the Slash site Slackers Guild. Recently Nastard, the owner of Slackers Guild received a threatening letter from Wiley Publishing concerning the site's Slacking for Dummies document. Nastard's reply is here."
Update: 09/27 03:31 GMT by T : Note: the Slacker's Guild website seems to have slacked, and the links no longer work. For the text of the letter sent by Wiley to Nastard, search below for comment #4340698 by SiMac; for the response, see comment #4340840 by decaying. Also, the "Slacking for Dummies" document link now points to Google's cache.
It's not the first time that Wiley has hunted down obvious parody works; they've even fired off similar mail because someone used "Dummies" in the subject line of an email.
Dear Nastard:
Wiley Publishing, Inc. ("Wiley"), formerly Hungry Minds, Inc., publisher of the well-known and well-regarded "? FOR DUMMIES" series of reference books and products has recently become aware of your use of the "? FOR DUMMIES" trademark and trade dress on your webpage www.slackersguild.com in the form of Slacking For Dummies.
As you may know, Wiley has over 100 trademark registrations and applications in the United States, Canada, and other jurisdictions for the trademark "FOR DUMMIES", many "DUMMIES" formatives and the FOR DUMMIES trade dress. The FOR DUMMIES trademark appears not only on our books, but also on CD-ROMs, trade and consumer advertising, in catalogues, point of sale displays, Wiley's websites, and other promotional and licensed material distributed worldwide. This series has been in existence since 1991 and has enjoyed tremendous success.
Since the FOR DUMMIES trademark is a federally registered mark, United States trademark law requires that Wiley take all reasonable steps to prevent others from using its marks, or confusingly similar marks, in such a way so as to "dilute" its distinctiveness as an exclusive designator of Wiley's goods and services. If the mark is used by too many different sources, it becomes a "generic" term, and Wiley may lose its exclusive right to use it. Thus, it is Wiley's responsibility to police for the use of "?. For Dummies" in any manner, and stop all unauthorized use of its trademark. Accordingly, in order to fully protect its valuable trademark, Wiley cannot permit such unauthorized use in connection with your website. Although you may present the defense that your use of the marks is a parody, a parody may still be considered infringing if it results in an increased likelihood of confusion, tarnishment or is disparaging to our reputation. A parody is a literary or artistic work that imitates the characteristic style of an author or a work for comic effect or ridicule. However, unless the trademark is at least in part of the parody, then your work does not qualify as a parody in the legal sense.
In order to resolve this matter quickly and amicably, we request that you:
1. Remove all materials from your website which bear the infringing material; and
2. Provide written confirmation to me by no later than October 3, 2002, that the above steps have been taken and you will refrain from using the "? For Dummies" mark, or any other mark that is confusingly similar to any Wiley mark, in the future.
While we prefer to resolve this matter informally, Wiley will use all legal remedies available to protect its trademark rights. Thank you for your attention to this matter.
Sincerely,
Kimberly Ward Skeel
Manager, Contracts and Intellectual Property
Wiley Publishing, Inc.
(317) 572-3304
Email: kskeel@wiley.com
(Sorry, I didn't get the response)
It's insane how litigeous America is nowadays.
For example: There are currently 600,000 lawsuits involving asbestos - alone - in the legal system. Older doctors are retiring sooner because they can't afford malpractice insurance.
The very threat of litigation is enough to shut most people up, especially when you have SLAPP suits (Strategic Lawsuits Against Public Participation) and when your organization has the obvious ability to win a DSW.
I used to be someone else. Now I'm someone better.
Real life is underrated.
You can find the usual Google cahce here
From the /.'ed page......
[quote]Dear Kimberly,
I've given serious thought to your request, and while, as an artist, I can appreciate your company's desire to protect it's intellectual property, I feel it is also my responsibility -- again, as an artist -- to protect my own rights. The work in question is parody, which is considered speech, and is protected by the first amendment. For a parody to be at all effective, it logically must include the name and/or image of the objects or ideas being parodied. Since I am obviously not a corporate entity, and the work in question does not exist for the purpose of generating profit, and since the law offers more protection to non-commercial speech than commercial speech, I feel that I am completely within my rights.
Under normal circumstances, I would have been glad to reach a compromise and alter the work in such a way as to keep both of our interests in mind. However, your first course of action was to imply threat of legal ramifications should I not comply, which tells me that my interests are of no concern to you. Therefore, I believe your interests to be of no concern to me.
Furthermore, your concern that people may be confused by the document on my web site is ridiculous, since, outside of the name and an image that is quite obviously satirical in nature, there is no implied connection to your company. Even the copyright information, which is itself a joke, makes no mention of Wiley Publishing, Inc. It would take a person severely lacking in intellectual capacity to confuse my work for anything your company has published, which is ironic, considering that your books are marketed to people you refer to as "dummies". However, it is my audience that I write for, and for the nearly two years that this item has been available on my site, not one person has contacted me with any degree of confusion on the matter. I can only assume that your intent was to scare me into complying. Perhaps you assumed that I was not familiar with the law or my rights, and I would simply give in. This is not the case. If you're willing to respect my rights and discontinue your reliance on litigious behavior, it would be both appreciated and noted to other free speech advocates. If not, I have no choice but to defend my rights.
Sincerely,
Nastard
[/quote]
----- One piece short of Legoland
As you know, I received an email yesterday from Wiley Publishing, Inc., threatening legal action if I did not discontinue use of their trademark in the "Slacking for Dummies" document. It probably goes without saying, but the document is parody, which is protected as speech under the First Amendment. As such, I'm placed into a position of choice; I can bend over and take it from a corporation looking to litigate the little guy into complacency, or I can stand up and defend what I think is one of the best things about America.
I've done my share of complaining that free speech is being stripped away from us in increasingly larger chunks, and I've had a word or two to say about people who let that happen. Now that I find myself in a position to stand up for what I believe in, I have a moral obligation to do it.
Below is my reply to Kimberly of Wiley Publishing.
>>>
Dear Kimberly,
I've given serious thought to your request, and while, as an artist, I can appreciate your company's desire to protect it's intellectual property, I feel it is also my responsibility -- again, as an artist -- to protect my own rights. The work in question is parody, which is considered speech, and is protected by the first amendment. For a parody to be at all effective, it logically must include the name and/or image of the objects or ideas being parodied. Since I am obviously not a corporate entity, and the work in question does not exist for the purpose of generating profit, and since the law offers more protection to non-commercial speech than commercial speech, I feel that I am completely within my rights.
Under normal circumstances, I would have been glad to reach a compromise and alter the work in such a way as to keep both of our interests in mind. However, your first course of action was to imply threat of legal ramifications should I not comply, which tells me that my interests are of no concern to you. Therefore, I believe your interests to be of no concern to me.
Furthermore, your concern that people may be confused by the document on my web site is ridiculous, since, outside of the name and an image that is quite obviously satirical in nature, there is no implied connection to your company. Even the copyright information, which is itself a joke, makes no mention of Wiley Publishing, Inc. It would take a person severely lacking in intellectual capacity to confuse my work for anything your company has published, which is ironic, considering that your books are marketed to people you refer to as "dummies". However, it is my audience that I write for, and for the nearly two years that this item has been available on my site, not one person has contacted me with any degree of confusion on the matter.
I can only assume that your intent was to scare me into complying. Perhaps you assumed that I was not familiar with the law or my rights, and I would simply give in. This is not the case. If you're willing to respect my rights and discontinue your reliance on litigious behavior, it would be both appreciated and noted to other free speech advocates. If not, I have no choice but to defend my rights.
Sincerely,
Nastard
Slacking For Dummies
aka "Slacking HOWTO"
by Nastard
1.) INTRODUCTION
This document intends to provide the most accurate and up to date information on the art of slacking.
For all intents and purposes, it should be considered the defacto source for slacking information, and
the maintaining of ones own ability to slack.
1.1) History
This is the first distributed version of this document. Therefore there can be no history.
1.2) Comments
All comments regarding this document should be directed to nastard@nastard.com
1.3) Copyrights and Trademarks
All material henceforth contained within the boundaries, electronic or otherwise, of this document are
the property of SlackersGuild.com and its respective owners. Any attempt to steal, borrow, copy, plagiarize,
or otherwise rip off my work will result in the immediate legal action of our team of attack lawyers.
By downloading, reading, having read, or having someone read to you the contents of this document, you
agree to forfeit all of your worldly possessions, including any and all trademarks, patents, copyrights,
or other intellectual property you may own. You also agree to jump up and down twelve times while
patting your head and screeching like the little monkey that you are.
This document (c) 2000 SlackersGuild.com All Rights Reserved, so fuck you.
1.4) Acknowledgements
First off, I would like to thank myself for creating such a wonderful document, and being such a supportive
source of inspiration to myself. Thank you, me.
I would also like to thank:
batman
2.) TOOLS
2.1) Sunglasses
Never underestimate the power of hiding your eyes. The eyes are the gateway to the soul. They can give
you away, or they bluff you out of a bad situation. They also close when you sleep. So, obviously, it
would make sense that hiding them can be an advantage.
2.2) Shoes/Clothing
There are two primary modes of slacking: Hiding It, and Not Giving A Shit. Bearing this in mind, clothing
is as important a tool to a slacker as a hammer is to a carpenter. If you are intent on hiding your slacking
and progressing through the corporate ladder undetected, it is best to look damn good, to counteract the
obvious slacking. Distraction is the key. If not giving a shit is more your style, then let it show. Get
some comfortable shoes, wear a bathrobe to work, and just say "fuck the dress code". You may as well be
comfortable during your (most likely short) stay at work.
2.3) The Joys of Nerf
Make no mistake about it, there will be others like you at your place of employment. Others who share your
love of fucking off instead of working. Utilize this, for when the shit hits the fan, and it probably will,
it's far better to have someone there with you to distribute the blame upon. The more employees involved, the
less guilty you look.
So what do you do to pass the time with co-workers? Well, you could talk to them, but that is more likely to
bore you than to help pass the time. So instead, I recommend that you bring toys. Nerf guns are the best.
You can bring other things, like laser-tag sets, or water pistols, but they are noisy and wet, respectively.
Check out http://www.nerf.com/ and http://www.toysrus.com/, these are the best places to get a good idea of
what you want for those epic Nerf battles on slow days.
2.4) Web-Based Slacking
If you are amongst the fortunate who have internet access at work, count yourself lucky. Working in fast food or
construction involves much more work, and seriously hinders your ability to slack, but it also takes away your
ability to spend countless hours staring at a monitor pretending to work.
So what do you do? Well, I doubt I need to tell you how much information there is out there on the net, but you
may not realize that there is an almost UNLIMITED amount of hours you can spend slacking using this tool. So,
USE IT. I recommend visiting sites with lots of content so you can immerse yourself in them. This helps to
pass the time.
Slackers Guild, Slashdot, and TheForce.net are my personal favorites, for there is so much to be read on each of
these sites. Also, they have user comment sections, which allow for others like you to contribute to the entertainment
of others. User comments are the bread and butter of sites that know how to utilize them, and are an exercise in slacking
in their own right. What better way to slack off and have your site boom than to have your users post the content
for you?
3.) GETTING STARTED
3.1) Why Slack?
Good question. No, wait, I take that back. It's a stupid question, and proves how new you are at this. At any
rate, I will answer it.
The benefits of slacking have been proven beyond a shadow of a doubt by the scientific community time and time again.
Well, not really. In fact, you will probably get your ass fired if you don't do it right. But if you DO manage to do
it right, it can be the best thing that ever happened to you. Just think: No more hard labor. No more long tedious
projects. No more stress. No more concerns about how much effort you put into your work. Life is beautiful when you
slack. It allows you to put more time into doing the things you really love. Spending time with your loved ones
without being stressed out, watching TV, reading, and even sleeping better can all be achieved through proper slacking
techniques.
3.2) Microslacking
How do you get yourself into slacking mode? Well, if you are a hard working American, it may be hard for you. If you
are like me, and generally hate doing anything that doesn't directly benefit you or the people you actually care about,
slacking comes much easier.
If you find yourself in the first group, you may need a little practice before you jump into the slacker pool. That's
okay, you just need a little practice.
Start by doing little things. Take 10 minutes per day to just sit there. Gradually increase the time period as you get
used to it. Also, spend more time surfing the web. Pretty soon you will get lost in what you are doing and forget
work completely.
Another good way to get practice is to spend more time on smoke breaks. Have 2 smokes instead of just 1. Or, if you don't
smoke, start. The amount of money I have accumulated for being on extended smoke breaks could probably put your kids through
college. Or at least feed some starving kids.
Stay up later than you should. This way, you will be tired and lethargic through your work day. But don't fall asleep at
work. Not until you have mastered the art of slacking.
3.3) "I'd Rather Be..."
Every day, when you first get to work, ask yourself, "what would I rather be doing than spending time working?" When you
have satisfactorily answered yourself, DO IT. Whatever it is you would rather be doing, spend your time and energy on that.
I personally like to read, and I get a lot of reading
done at work. In fact, the amount of literature I've gone through while on the clock would put your local library to shame.
Some people might say "I'd rather be rock climbing". Well, for a very select few, this might be a viable option. For the
rest of us, its probably not a good idea. Besides, cubicles offer very little in the way of jagged rocks. Instead, read
up on it. Learn about it. Make plans to do it on your time off. Even better, use your works' internet connection to
order items related to your favorite outdoor activities.
4.) BETTER LIVING THROUGH SLACKING
4.1) Incorporating Slacking Into Your Personal Life
Using these slacking techniques in your day-to-day life is actually very easy. Just do what you want to do. Screw mowing
the lawn, I wanna watch TV. Screw doing the dishes, I wanna watch Mallrats for the 800th time. It's just as easy as
slacking at work. Just take what you don't want to do, and replace it with something you DO want to do.
4.2) Lying to Friends and Family to Avoid Favors
Have you ever been asked by a friend or family member to do something you just didn't *feel* like doing?
"I need you to take me to the airport"
"Can you help me move?"
"Would you mind killing my father for me?"
Why waste your time helping others, when you could spend that time indulging in self-serving activities like watching porn?
Well, you don't have to. That's right, no more favors. Just follow these easy steps.
Step 1: Come up with a damn good lie. It wouldn't hurt to have a prefabricated list ahead of time.
Step 2: Check your lie. Nothing will get you in more trouble than getting caught in a lie.
Step 3: BELIEVE YOUR LIE. No single step is as important as this one. If *you* don't believe your lie, why should anyone else?
Step 4: Follow through with your lie. Allude back to it later on, and hint at portions of the lie. Don't lay it on too thick,
just enough to remove any thoughts that you may have been lying.
I certainly don't advocate lying about everything. I am obviously referring to laziness and work avoidance here, not covering up
a murder or cheating on your spouse/partner/loved one. There's a line between little white lies to get out of work, and a cold
blooded lie. Please lie responsibly.
4.3) Inviting Others to Slack With You
They say misery loves company. Well, so does apathy. Slacking is fun enough alone, but when you get a friend to join
you, it elevates to a whole new level. Here's a few tips on choosing a slacking mate:
Beware of friends who seem to enjoy their jobs. It's fine for someone to like what they do, perhaps even admirable. But
these people are most likely to try to convince you to do work. The last thing you need while slacking is a good influence.
Do NOT, I repeat, DO NOT bring children into your slacking adventures. Children have the nasty
habit of being honest, and that could mean your ass.
Watch your slack mate. See what they do. You will learn, fairly quickly, what lines you shouldn't cross. Slacking with
friends is great, but remember, unless this person is a very trustworthy friend, they could sell your ass out at any time
if you do something worse than what they have done. Be careful not to overstep that line
4.4) Slacking for Fun and Profit
Slacking is always fun, that's a given. What about profit? Is it possible to actually make extra money by doing it? Sure.
There are plenty of ways to do it, all you need is to look. All Advantage pays you to surf, and if you remember, we covered
earlier how important surfing is to slacking. Set up an AllAdvantage account at work, and have the checks sent to your
home. If you can convince a few co-workers to sign up with you as their referrer, this can add up *very* quickly.
Another option is to start a comment-based website and collect ad revenue. I would
recommend visiting www.slashdot.org for an excellent example of this.
5.) GETTING AWAY WITH IT
5.1) Looking Busy
There's no such thing as looking too busy. The busier you look, the more people will believe that you are an upstanding,
hardworking employee worthy of praise. A technique I recommend is one I like to call the "Costanza". On NBC's Seinfeld,
George once pointed out how busy people thought he was when he simply looked irritated. I use this one *constantly*,
and let me tell you, it works. Coincidentally, I also wear a lot of black. And a black trench coat. It may seem retarded,
but I will tell you, there is a noticeable difference in the way I am treated when I have my coat on, than when I don't.
It really helps to make me look pissed off.
Another way to go is to look confused. If you look perplexed over some problem or another, even if you are literally
just staring at a wall, others will either leave you alone, or offer to help. If they offer to help, just explain that
you have it under control, and a solution is more satisfying when you reach it without assistance. This goes a LONG way
towards making you look like a good worker.
5.2) Knowing When To Slack
As with many things, there is a right and wrong time to slack. If your boss is gone and you are left to fend for yourself,
go all out with a Nerf gun fight. If the company's owner is standing right behind you, you probably shouldn't be looking at
porn sites (or this site). Use your good judgment here.
5.3) Excuses
Touching back on the subject of lying, excuses are a huge part of slacking. If you get caught, do you want to be stuttering
all over the place and looking like a jackass, or do you want to quickly explain yourself and get on with what you were doing?
I can guess which way you would answer that. Have an excuse prepared ahead of time. Recite it. Know it. BELIEVE it.
The best defense is a good offense. This is also true with excuses. If you get caught or accused of slacking, come back
with some accusations of your own. The accuser will immediately be put on the defense, and completely forget why they ever
even bothered you. Or at least regret it. Use this one with caution, you don't want to look like a jackass.
6.) GETTING AHEAD BY DOING NOTHING
6.1) Taking Credit for Other People's Work
SlackersGuild.com (us) runs slashcode. I assure you, I did NOT write slashcode. I didn't help write slashcode. I was
barely able to install slashcode. This is a great example of using someone else's work as your own.
The one thing I will say about this is DON'T BE STUPID. Please don't be an idiot and take credit for someone's hard
work while they are sitting right next to you. Only morons and soap opera characters do this. There is a line between
taking credit and stealing, and we certainly don't advocate stealing. Borrow, recycle, and reinvent all you like, but
please do not steal.
6.2) Feigning Interest In What Others Have to Say
Three words: smile and nod.
6.3) Surviving Meetings
A true slacker knows how to look interested and important while surrounded with peers and superiors. That being said,
here are a few things you can work on to survive, and even look good, in meetings:
- Ask questions. I'm not saying pay attention, I'm just saying ask questions. The best way to do this is to rephrase
what the speaker just said, throwing in lots of colorful adjectives and big words.
- Bring a pad and paper. Don't let anyone see what you are writing, but keep your pen moving. It gives the appearance
that you are taking notes.
- If you own a palm device (like the Handspring Visor - http://www.handspring.com/), take it into the meeting with you.
Even if you are drawing pictures or sending email, it makes you look busy and cool.
6.4) Being an "Idea Man"
This is my favorite step. It's so easy to extrapolate where a suit is going when he/she is talking and jump to the conclusion
before they do. If you pull it off, they will almost think that you came up with the idea, or at least get the impression
that you are on the same wavelength as them, which is guaranteed to make them like you. Everyone likes their own ideas,
especially corporate types. Use this.
If you have an idea, no matter how stupid, tell your boss. It makes you look interested and concerned in the direction the
company is going. Brownie points abound for even the lamest of ideas. If it's a good idea, you are almost guaranteed a
promotion and/or raise.
7.) OBTAINING MORE INFORMATION
For more information, visit the main page of www.slackersguild.com. We are constantly updating and adding more resources for
slackers and slackers-in-training. The user comments are also a good place to look for information. Chances are, someone has
an idea or point that I have missed here.
There's been a couple of replies, but they've missed the real answer.
Trademarks apply only to a category of products. As long as the products are different types, there is no infrigement... thus, apple computer and apple records. (actually that's a bad example because the products overlap when you get computers playing music). But, compare orbital and orbital. No infringement. Thus, if "windows" is a software product, and "wordperfect for dummies" is a book, there is no overlap, thus no infringement.
But ya' gotta love the irony!
HIV Crosses Species Barrier... into Muppets
Well, I guess this explains why I can't ping my server. Hopefully things will be sane again in the relatively near future.
:P
I had considered just giving in and changing it to something like "Slacking for People Who Are As Retarded as Those Dumb Fucks at Wiley Publishing," but I realized I'd been given a chance to stand up for what so many of us spend a good deal complaining about - free speech.
As you can see in my response letter (thanks to those who posted it here), I did decide to stand up for myself. I just hope I did the right thing.
Thanks to those of you who actually managed to get to the site, to those of you who might try back later, and thanks a lot to Blue Aardvark House for GETTING THE FUCKING SERVER SLASHDOTTED.
Since I can pretty much count on my ISP being none-to-thrilled with the traffic, if anyone happens to feel like making a donation towards covering the damage of the slashDoS (or, god forbid, legal costs), we accept Paypal
ogg for portables!!! Not only any portable, but from the same company that brought you the SlimX.
From here:
This morning (2:28am, EDT), I received an E-mail from Y.H. Lee, the Chief Engineer of iRiver's products. He has informed me that they are currently porting the fixed-point Ogg Vorbis decoder (Tremor) to their product. We will endeavour to assist them in any way we can.
In addition to letting iRiver know that we stand behind them ready to assist with technical issues, I believe a huge thanks is in order to the people who have contacted iRiver asking them to support our format. We're indebted to all of you who have posted looking for Vorbis support on this thread, as well as all of you who have sent iRiver E-mails and called them on the telephone.
Let's wait and see...and encode away boys and girls.
(+1 Funny) only if I laugh out loud.