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When Do You Really Need a Lawyer?

Posted by Cliff on from the IANALs-need-not-apply dept.

Dr_Harm asks: "I recently had the misfortune to encounter a CEO who had just received the Klez virus. Apparently, he believed the 'From:' header and accused me of not only authoring the virus, but deliberately and maliciously targeting him and his organization. Normally, clueless people like this don't bother me, except he was inclined to sue me and report me to the FBI. Of course, he's got more money and lawyers than I do, and could probably have made me miserable even though I'm completely innocent... but it raises the question: How do I know when I need a lawyer?"

"Clearly, once I've been served with legal papers, a lawyer is necessary. But I'm guessing that there are situations where having a lawyer before it gets to that point would be helpful. I'm interested in some general guidelines for when I should pick up the phone and call a lawyer. I'm especially interested in tales of 'I waited to long and got burned' as well as 'I got a lawyer so early it was smooth sailing'. Like most people, I make a decent living, but I cannot afford high legal bills for very long.

For those who are interested, the CEO in question decided to simply report the incident to the FBI. My guess is that the Feds logged the complaint for their statistics and then dropped the matter. However, the brush with someone with enough money and power to drain me financially has left me distinctly shaken..."

7 of 512 comments (clear)

  1. Before you need him. by Deanasc · · Score: 4, Funny
    A good lawyer is like a good mechanic or good OBGYN. You should be comfortable with the Doctor before you have him up to his neck in your coochie. You should be changing your oil with a good mechanic so that he knows you care about the car and doesn't rip you for double when your timing belt slips. I'm not saying to keep a lawyer on retainer but have a relationship with one before you need him. And it doesn't matter which branch of law. If he can't help you he'll know who can and it won't be the guy advertising workmans comp scams on 'Springer'.

    Or you can go to Jiffy Lube to save $20 bucks a year and then the mechanic doesn't know you from a hole in the wall. Doesn't think you'll be back after he's done.

    And who want's a total stranger looking up their hooches to find that itch.

    I know I'm crass but it does get the point accross.

    --
    I've hit Karma 50 and gotten a Score:5, Troll... I win!
  2. Who needs a lawyer... by myov · · Score: 5, Funny

    ... when you could just /. him instead?
    No klez, in fact, no internet

    --
    I use Macs to up my productivity, so up yours Microsoft!
  3. I've got an easy answer to your problem by Ilan+Volow · · Score: 5, Funny

    If you're kinda handy with Sendmail, and CEO stubbornly refuses to believe that SMTP From: headers can be faked, guess how surpised he'll be when he receives an email from gwbush@whitehouse.gov giving you a full pardon.

    --
    Ergonomica Auctorita Illico!
  4. Just ask Slashdot! by njchick · · Score: 5, Funny
    it raises the question: How do I know when I need a lawyer?
    You need a lawyer if you ask on Slashdot and none of the comments with score 3 and above answers your question.
  5. It's funny 'cos it's true, Marge. by realgone · · Score: 5, Funny
    Here's a old, old joke that has more than a little truth to it:

    Q: When do you need a lawyer?
    A: When you're talking to a lawyer.

    Which is to say, if you ever need to deal with someone else's attorney in any offical capacity, no matter how trivial, you're best served by having your own on-call as well.

  6. Don't do that, but do something similar. by gnovos · · Score: 5, Funny

    I would caution against using the President's address, because we all know what a great sense of humor the Secret Service has, right? Instead, send him an email "from" himself. Something like "Hi me, If you will notice the 'from' address, this email is being sent from you to you. Since it is impossible to forge headers in your mind, this must have been written by you while you were sleepwalking. Basically I'm your subconcious telling you to drop the case."

    --
    "Your superior intellect is no match for our puny weapons!"
  7. Strike back by macdaddy · · Score: 4, Funny

    IANAL but it occurs to me that if the CEO thinks that an email From: is accurate enough for the basis of a lawsuit, write up a nice death threat using racial and sexist remarks, address it to yourself, and make the From: be the CEO's. Now either file a counter-suit with that as the basis for your case or at least confront the CEO with the evidence in hand. The look on his face should at least be priceless. :-) If the CEO can do it, why can't you?