IBM Flushes Restroom Patent

jdkane writes "As reported in this CNet news article IBM has quietly eliminated a patent it received on a method for determining who gets to use the bathroom next. I say Kudos to IBM because it is a relief (no pun intended) to see some common sense prevail in the patent news. A funny quote from the article is "But just because the patent office granted this and other questionable patents doesn't mean the system is broken".;)"

Comments

Re:Very stupid.

[AnotherShep]

Maybe they just didn't want their name slapped all over bathroom stalls...

"For a good time, call IBM at...", etc.

I guess....

[Geraden]

Big Blue didn't want to be known as "Big Blue Water"??

<insert groans here>

Scott

And here I thought I was joking...

[rknop]

...when I said I could make the big bucks by patenting the use of wiping with toilet paper. I mean, heck, I figured I'd be doing the patent office a favor. Surely the place would start to smell better after they were introduced to this novel technique. The only question for them would be whether there was enough room left for the paper, what with heads up in the way.

-Rob

These patents scare me ...

[fferreres]

me the shit out o... OH, at fscking last! It's my restroom turn. brb guys!.

(Anyway: I should have my sisters take a look and the patent, they may actually LEARN something ...)

(Anyway 2: Thanks god MS didn't patent it. A bug in these code could really KILL people. And I can foresee the script kiddies all going to the bath as they see fit.)

In other news...

[ekephart]

In other news, today American Airlines was granted a patent on a new airliner with more restrooms than seats. When asked about the new plane a company official said, "Well, we aren't exactly sure if someone can use more than one restroom at once, but we are keeping our options open. If necessary, for the sake of public safety and security we have plans to eliminate an addition 10% of seats. Either way we'll show IBM who's boss."

Such an app could produce an interesting database

[The_Guv'na]

Employers could finally get some real figures as to how the "restrooms" are used... A nice Web Based interface with, amongst other widjets, a long list of checkboxes for different activities...

• Urination
• Defecation
• Phone call
• SMS messaging
• Diarrhea
• Penile masturbation
• Vaginal masturbation
• Anal masturbation
• Homosexual (male) intercourse
• Homosexual (female) intercourse
• Heterosexual intercourse
• Any of the above three for a promotion and/or pay rise.
• Sleeping
• Alcohol abuse
• Smoking tobacco
• Smoking weed
• Smoking crack cocaine
• Moderating slashdot.org
• Other drug abuse
• Dealing drugs
• Child abuse
• Applying makeup
• Vandalism
• Advertising sexual services
• Unsceduled board meeting
• Reading newspaper(s)
• Reading magazines(s)
• Spying on other toilet users
• Videotaping other toilet users
• Dissing coworkers to management
• Dissing management to coworkers
• Checking out guys' equipment
• Trying to piss but failing because the guy next to you is three times your size
• Other (please specify) [_______________]

Of course, how many people wold actually admit to some of the things on that list is another matter. :)

Ali

Prior art

[Ford Fulkerson]

a method for determining who gets to use the bathroom next

Prior art exists, it's called a line.

IBM Bathroom Technology

[Greyfox]

I'm pretty sure IBM hires "Will work for food" people at minimum wage and all the bran muffins they can eat. These people circle the bathrooms at various IBM complexes and render them too unpleasant for anyone to stay in for long. Either that or there's a chronic explosive diarrhea handicap of which I am unaware and for which the company is WAY over quota for. It's a virtual guarantee that within 30 seconds of going in for a dump one of these people will come into the bathroom, take the stall RIGHT NEXT to yours (Doesn't matter if there's 1 free stall or 15) and commence emitting the most noxious fumes I have ever encountered.

I have worked at 3 IBM sites and been in many of their buildings and this has happened almost without fail. There are also "blessed" bathrooms where this never happens. I can only imagine that those are reserved for upper management.