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Duct Tape Can Remove Warts

Posted by timothy on from the and-tastes-great-roasted dept.

chris_calabrese writes "According to this Reuters article on Yahoo! News, "Duct tape, already legendary for its many uses, can also be deployed to get rid of warts, U.S. Army researchers said on Monday." The basic idea is to tape over the warts and suffocate them. Apparently more effective than the traditional cryotherapy too."

26 of 139 comments (clear)

  1. I tried it by L.+VeGas · · Score: 5, Funny

    I tried to suffocate what I thought was a wart with duct tape, but I had to take it off after one day because I had to pee really bad.

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  2. Hygiene by Glytch · · Score: 4, Funny

    I hate to sound shallow, but this will come as a huge relief to all the homely guys who hang around Possum Lodge.

  3. This is no joke by GreyWolf3000 · · Score: 4, Funny

    About 2 years ago I was going to school in Switzerland. The dorms were rather unsanitary, or rather, some of it's inhabitants were extremely uncouth. As a result, fungal growths were rampant, and I developed a huge wart on my right thumb.

    One day I was snowboarding and I tried to jump and hit a 360, but unfortunately I was a 'n00b.' However, upon a rather harsh engagement with hard-packed snow and ice, my wart completely dislodged itself from my finger. I'd say it was about 3mm high and 2.5mm diameter.

    I think yours truly takes the cake for strangest wart removal 'treatment.'

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    1. Re:This is no joke by ChadN · · Score: 5, Funny

      Well, I had a huge wart on my big toe, which grew back after being burned off with acid and a hot needle. Then my sister stepped on it at the airport in Hawaii (I was wearing slippers), ripping it clean off. This was at the baggage counter, where family were all trying to hug me and say, "hello". I bled all over the place. However, a dog came up and ate the ripped off wart, and followed me around licking up much of the blood.

      The remaining wart crater scabbed over with a hard black shell, which I eventually tore off with some tweezers. The wart never came back.

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    2. Re:This is no joke by GreyWolf3000 · · Score: 3, Funny

      whups i meant to go ac...karma rapeage...

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  4. Stand By for My Own Results by greenhide · · Score: 3, Funny

    I don't mean to brag or anything, but I've got a couple of pretty impressive warts.

    I'm going to try this method out and see how well it works. Look here in about a month for the results.

    That is assuming, of course, that I can deal with having a piece of duct tape on the joint of my left thumb for 30 days. :-)

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  5. See a doctor. by Trusty+Penfold · · Score: 4, Funny

    This is crazy; you should never try to treat yourself for anything. You are not trained to diagnose diseases in your body. It takes 2 to 3 years to train to be a doctor - and you think you can remove a wart in a month?

    How do you know it is a wart - it could be anthrax or, worse, something contagious like leprosy

    See a doctor before it is too late!

    1. Re:See a doctor. by floydigus · · Score: 2, Funny

      Yeah, and you shouldn't go fiddling with things inside your computer, either!
      DIY in the home - that's another thing. Don't touch it - you'll only go and kill yourself.
      Don't ever say me and penfold don't warn you about this stuff.

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    2. Re:See a doctor. by floydigus · · Score: 5, Funny

      I know for a fact you can become a doctor in about five minutes on the internet.

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      All things in moderation; including moderation

    3. Re:See a doctor. by grub · · Score: 3, Funny


      That's three years for a PhD in biology, four years for an MD, six years of residency at a teaching hospital, and two more years of fellowship before you can go get an actual job practicing medicine.

      How do they manage to fit in time to golf?

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  6. You would expect this from the US Military... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    The basic idea is to tape over the warts and suffocate them.

    You would expect this from the US Military. After all, they have alot of experience in using Duct Tape to suffocate undesirables...

    Location: School of the Americas, Fort Benning, Georgia:

    American General: "And as you can see, using Duct Tape, several Car Batteries, and a metal bed frame, you can quickly torture those nasty Zapatista Rebels into submission."

    Mexican General: "Gosh, that's so easy! We need another source of cheap labor. I am ever so thankful General. Now, if only you could only cure these warts, I might be able to get one of my Zapatista slave girls to like me!"

    America General looks at Diagram on the whiteboard. "Hmmm, well you know..."

  7. Hmmm.... by xagon7 · · Score: 4, Funny

    So now in addition to holding the Mir together before its demise, duct tape will suffocate warts.

    News Headlines from 2050:

    Duct Tape Cures Cancer!

    Duct Tape Cures Aids!

    Duct Tape Solves World Hunger!

    Duct Tape Seals Cooling/Heating Ducts!

  8. "Sticky-sided duct tape" by tswinzig · · Score: 5, Funny

    As opposed to the other kind?

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  9. Simple wart treatment I've used: by Unknown+Poltroon · · Score: 5, Funny

    1: 1/2 bottle Jack Daniels, applied internally.
    2: 1 fork, tines heated red hot over gas stove
    3: Apply hot fork tines CAREFULLY to center of wart area.
    4: Swear a lot.
    5: Big Profit!! (and no more wart, seriously)

    Id say ill use duct tape in the future, but i think clearing off 1 wart this way scared all the others away permanently.

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    1. Re:Simple wart treatment I've used: by mike3411 · · Score: 2, Funny

      I had a few warts on one hand, and after trying this (and others) what ended up working was some kind of beetle juice (no, I am not kidding, this was what the doctor said it was). A little was put on one wart, and within a month they were all gone.

      I'd still take that 1/2 Jack Daniels though, just to be on the safe side.

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    2. Re:Simple wart treatment I've used: by ObitMan · · Score: 3, Funny

      You didn't speak of this Beetlejuice more than three times did you?
      That could lead to problems infinitly worse than warts.

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  10. How did they ... by dgb2n · · Score: 3, Funny

    find this out? I have this vision of some soldier in a fox hole wrapping his feet with duct tape and suddenly realizing that all his skin (including some offending wart) had just sloughed off his feet.

    Seriously though. Where do they come up with this stuff?

    1. Re:How did they ... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      Pretend the army has 4 solders, and each solder has warts:

      - First solder: control group. Nothing is done to his wart.

      - Second Solder: Doctors apply duct tape to his warts

      - Third solder: Expose solders feet to a nuclear blast

      - Forth solder: Exposed to Antrax.

      Results:

      - The forth solder dies from anthrax.

      - The second solder does not have warts, but that's because his feet fell off off after the nuclear blast.

      - The first solder still has warts.

      - The second solder does not have warts.

      Therefore, the method applied to the second solder (duct tape), cures warts, without curing the patient.

  11. And if you cover you nose and mouth... by hbmartin · · Score: 3, Funny

    the duct tape will cure you of hiccups! In fact, it'll cure of everything!! Except your mortality, that is.

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  12. Re:Hehe by spencerogden · · Score: 4, Funny

    Or the corollary: "If you can duct it, fuck it"

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  13. Great so far, ..... by Tablizer · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...but what do I use to remove the duct tape?

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  14. go away spontaniously? by Kyrn · · Score: 2, Funny

    riiiiiiiight. I had one on my big toe from about 10 years old. Do I have no imune system? I used topical medicine that came with a little brush for years. That didn't work. It got frozen off once. Didn't work. Frozen again. Didn't work. Tried many times to rip it out but it would come back. It finally died after freezing it three times in one day. Damn that hurts. Warts are some sort of evil incarnate.

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  15. anata wa baka da... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Star Wars. No bloody 1,2,5 OR 6.

  16. Ah hah! by mary_will_grow · · Score: 4, Funny

    No wonder my genital warts have disappeared!

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  17. since this supposed to be about humor... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny
    Why is duct tape like the force?

    Because it has a light side and a dark side, and it binds the universe together.

  18. I don't believe it! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    No one saw a connection to Red Green here?

    Oh well.