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The Sinking Ship that is AOL

EyesWideOpen writes "This article at Salon discusses the ways in which AOL is trying to stay afloat, with the release of version 8.0 of it's software, in a time when AOL (which recently merged with Time Warner) has had a string of bad press -- falling stock prices, SEC investigation, etc. -- attached to it's name. One of my favorite quotes from the article says of AOL: ''It was never really an Internet company. AOL was based on the idea that people needed to live in a halfway house while they became accustomed to the Net.'...If folks can get a better, faster, cheaper online experience by ditching AOL, they'll do it in a heartbeat.'"

39 of 590 comments (clear)

  1. It never was an internet company... by i_want_you_to_throw_ · · Score: 5, Funny

    Finally people realize......

    1. Re:It never was an internet company... by JordanH · · Score: 5, Interesting
      • ...and smothers local coffee houses with sheer marketing pressure.

      Uhhh, actually, this is wrong.

      There was an article in the WSJ a few weeks back about how Starbuck's, while growing wildly, is actually losing market share to local coffee houses.

      A lot of locals complain about the competition, but their sales are way up for the most part.

      A few coffee houses go under when a Starbuck's springs up, but it may not be related. It turns out that there's always been a large turnover rate in coffee houses, a lot of them close down every year for decades. Coffee house closings are actually down.

      It appears that the introduction of Starbuck's just increases the market for good coffee.

      ObSlashdotObservation: Wouldn't it be nice if MS could view their competition the same way, not as enemies that have to be eliminated at any cost, but rather as part of a healthy market that allows everyone to prosper?

    2. Re:It never was an internet company... by mgkimsal2 · · Score: 5, Insightful

      McDonald's isn't in the burger business - it's in the softdrink business. McDonald's is one of the biggest (if not the biggest) resellers of Coke. Where's more profit?

      $1 burger that costs 35 cents to make?
      $1.19 drink and 9 cents of syrup/water?

  2. While we all hate AOL by mrmaster · · Score: 5, Interesting

    While we all hate AOL they still do offer the most access numbers out of any other ISP if you do a lot of traveling.

    1. Re:While we all hate AOL by nightsweat · · Score: 5, Informative

      Go with iPass if you can. They contract with a bunch of different ISPs around the world.

      When you call, your "call experience" is logged and reported for billing but also for quality control. If the number you dialed was busy or poor quality, the number will drop down the list of numbers for that city for everybody using the dialer. Thus, the ISP has incentive to keep the lines high-quality (since they don't get paid if you don't use their lines) and you get the best known number wherever you travel.

      Additionally, in a corporate setting, it uses radius for authentication. We use Steel-belted RADIUS to authenticate it against our Win2K domain, but you could use a built in tool.

      No, I don't make money from them. In fact I pay money to them, but I'm actually satisfied with this one vendor.
      --

      the major advances in civilization are processes which all but wreck the societies in which they occur - A.N. White
    2. Re:While we all hate AOL by rkent · · Score: 5, Informative

      Yes, but for the mephistophelian price of installing AOL 6 (or 7 or 8 or whatever) and letting it take over all of your network connections.

      The "most access numbers" statistic is sort of a chimera; you really only need 1 or 2 per metro area, it's the *traffic* on those numbers that's important. That said, I've had excellent experience dialing up to EarthLink in almost every (US) location I've ever been to, and I can almost always get a line by the 2nd call, while my brother across the room tries to dial the local AOL number for half an hour.

      Also, as a plus over some of the "local + roaming" others are mentioning in this thread, I don't think EarthLink costs more depending on where you are. I've used a corporate account at several locations and had no complaints from the accounting department about charges.

      I'm not a salesperson for EarthLink, but it just seems way preferable to AOL even if they technically have "more" dial up numbers.

  3. aol staying afloat by sallyL · · Score: 5, Insightful

    there's alot of non-techies out there that can't see doing anything but AOL. AOL has (at least historically) had the touchy-feel stuff down pat. There's also all the people who don't want to change their email addresses. AOL has more going for it than the person who originated this post thinks.

    1. Re:aol staying afloat by trcooper · · Score: 5, Funny

      Yeah, jsmith893784@aol.com is really easy for people to remember and they don't want to lose that.

    2. Re:aol staying afloat by mmol_6453 · · Score: 5, Informative

      Indeed.

      When a customer switches from AOL to us, it's never because of our prices, (which are low, compared to the other services available in the area), but because they got fed up with AOL's customer service.

      Usually, they'd been with them for years, but when they started having problems, they'd discover AOL's customer service doesn't do much more than give away additional months of service as retainers.

      We've never, ever had someone switch to us from AOL because they wanted more powerful access.

      We affectionately call them "AOL refugees." :-)

      --
      What's this Submit thingy do?
  4. In AOL Voice by LordYUK · · Score: 5, Funny

    "Good-bye"

    --
    This is my sig. Its pathetic.
    1. Re:In AOL Voice by Loki_1929 · · Score: 5, Funny

      "Good-bye"

      *Obi-Wan voice*

      "It's as if millions of voices cried out at once, and then suddenly went silent."

      --
      -- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
  5. Not sure about the ditching by Sabalon · · Score: 5, Interesting
    I've talked to quite a few people who complain about AOL, but when asked why they don't get a cable modem, or a dialup ISP they start spouting all sorts of reasons such as
    • The cost of an ISP
    • don't want a second phone line
    • don't want to loose their e-mail address
    • don't know much about computers

      Not really sensical arguments, but when they start giving answers like that it's hard to get through.

      Also, where I work, one of our techs had AOL before starting here. Even after having our dial-ups (free) and our T1, he still kept his AOL for a year or two - would even connect to it over our T1 connection.

      Must be nicotine levels or something addictive.
  6. Ironic by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    The sinking ship that is Salon writing about the sinking ship that is AOL.

  7. We cannot afford to lose AOL by IGnatius+T+Foobar · · Score: 5, Insightful

    AOL, whether you hate them or not, is the primary (some might say only) obstacle preventing Microsoft from owning the Internet. If they were to go away, "MSN" and "The Internet" would become synonymous. Is that what you want?

    I don't think I could stand to live in that kind of world. I hope AOL retains its huge lead forever.

    --
    Tired of FB/Google censorship? Visit UNCENSORED!
  8. What? by sharkey · · Score: 5, Funny

    It was never really an Internet company.

    That can't be right! The AOL tech I had helping me troubleshoot a cable-modem connection told me unequivocally that AOL is the Internet.

    --

    --
    "Outlook not so good." That magic 8-ball knows everything! I'll ask about Exchange Server next.
  9. WHAT?? by teamhasnoi · · Score: 5, Funny
    'AOL was based on the idea that people needed to live in a halfway house while they became accustomed to the Net.'

    I thought AOL was based on the idea that people need a never-ending supply of drink coasters.

  10. not a chance by dunkelfalke · · Score: 5, Insightful

    when most non geeks think of aol they think of an "easy internet expirience", although most of them don't even know what internet is. they use aim, they use aol email and they don't want to go any further, hell they don't even know there is more than aol. such people don't care about the speed or price because they don't use it too often.

    as long there are still enough computer illiterate aol will stay.

    and as long as aol funds the mozilla team and winamp, it should stay - it is still the lesser evil.

    --
    "It's such a fine line between stupid and clever" -- David St. Hubbins, Spinal Tap
  11. Huh? by cybermace5 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    AOL was based on the idea that people needed to live in a halfway house while they became accustomed to the Net.

    I though AOL was based on the idea of a super-BBS that people could use, in the days of Prodigy and Compuserve, well before the Internet was remotely available to Joe 486.

    --
    ...
  12. They're right you know by Alcimedes · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'm sorry, but that sounds exactly right to me. I still remember when I first went online. It was through AOL. Why? Because they were the only easy way to get online at the time. Any idiot could pull a CD out of their mailbox and be online within hours.

    That was the first instant chat that I'd ever seen. It was a GUI IRC, which has a lot of pluses to it. It was basically the first internet that most people could use without having a whole lot of background in the area.

    Now fast forward 10 years.

    Now you've got everyone and their Uncle working as an ISP. Most companies have usable products to get online. The internet is a much friendlier place, it's pretty, it's readable, not nearly as much tech speak on the pages. It's become another form of TV. (or at least it's trying to)

    The biggest problem is that you don't NEED AOL anymore. They are great to get started, like diapers. Then you grow up and move on. AOL's problem is that less and less people need hand holding to get online, as that's gotten easier. At the same time they face some stiff competition, and the pool of brand new users is drying up.

    They need to figure out a way to get some fresh meat to stock their coffers.

    1. Re:They're right you know by Loki_1929 · · Score: 5, Funny

      "They are great to get started, like diapers."

      Are you insinuating that AOL users frequently piss themselves?

      --
      -- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
    2. Re:They're right you know by hendridm · · Score: 5, Insightful

      > Are you insinuating that AOL users frequently piss themselves?

      Only when they see what competitors are charging.

      I just don't get it anymore. I have people coming into the store complaining of poor access speeds through dialup. Fair enough, perhaps dialup is best suited for your need. But then I find out that some of them have purchased a second line. That is when I scratch my head and ask why the hell they are not using cable or DSL.

      Let's do the math:
      Extra phone line ($~20) + ISP fee (~$20) = $40/month!

      Or the alternative: Our town has DSL and Cable Modems priced at $30/month for 384kbit or $40 for 768kbit cable.

      Let's say for a minute that you don't have a second phone line. Fine, but your AOL/MSN/Earthlink account is costing you $22/month for service anyway. Why not pay the extra $8 for broadband DSL or Cable?! It's worth it. Really!

      I also love these people that buy the latest and greatest 2.5GHz computer with a DVD burner and half a gig of RAM only to bring it home and plug a phone line into it. Ugh! What a shame.

      Mmmmmmmm, dialup!

  13. Re:I hate to say it... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Informative

    half of the web?
    I don't know where you surf, buddy, but I am using mozilla every day and maybe 1% of the sites doesn't work.

  14. This is true... by dzym · · Score: 5, Interesting
    I recently moved to the boonies, where there was no cable internet and I was too far from the nearest CO for DSL.

    What was left to me was AOL, so I signed up for that 1025 hours, and then did some shopping around online for another internet provider... I eventually ended up with a wireless internet service provider that uses the Motorola Canopy system, which gives me sustained performance comparable to a decent cable or DSL service, plus even more nice things like static IP and RDNS allocation.

    Needlessly to say, then it was "Goodbye, AOL!" ... "The call" was pretty funny to me, since I had (ab)used their service to leap to a competitor. The rep on the other end tried in vain to convince me to keep my AOL account, and even tried to use the argument that "a dynamic ip is good because it's more secure." I got tired in the end and basically told him to cut the crap and just cancel my account.

  15. For those total non-geeks by freerangegeek · · Score: 5, Insightful

    I'll admit it, I subscribe to AOL. (Internet acces only, of course) As a true geek (tm, perhaps I should be thrown in stocks and pilloried. Truth is there are LOTS of people out there who need training wheels, permanent training wheels. Personally I got deathly sick of [unable to display image] when my AOL friends didn't understand the differenct between embedding and attaching. Now those folks can send me stuff without me having to do lecture on attacments.

    People of my parents generation often don't have the technical understanding to setup and use more complicated solutions. Instead they buy a 'computer as appliance' and slap on M$N (shudder) or AOL, and learn that instead of trying to understand all the layers involved.

    The GUI is challenging enough, let alone configuring the network, setting up IMAP, trying to figure out why the modem script doesn't work, figuring out which ISP to use, and navigating support mazes to figure out what's really wrong.

    What they really want is a way to get connected to their children where they can send pictures, and exchange notes. AOL and MSN, and even Earthlink do that for them as package deals.

    It may not be the cheapest, but they're not poor, and they'd rather spend their time fishing, cooking, and hanging with their friends, than upgrading their DSL driver to version 2.8.

  16. AOL has its place by Chastitina · · Score: 5, Insightful

    It's long been an easy way for the clueless to get online with a minimum of pain or actually having to learn anything. I definitely plan to get my mother online via AOL so I can pawn her whiny phone calls off on the poor AOL staffers who are paid to deal with the functionally computer illiterate. It's what they're there for. Since there will always be newbies and the terminally cluefree, there will always be a market for products like AOL. It's ultimate niche may not be the massive media-infotainment-merchandising one-stop shop that they've aspired to, but it they focus on their original & enduring strenth, they will remain viable, although much reduced.

    Besides, while they do open the floodgates for any idiot to get online, put up a cheesy webpage, and harass the knowledgeable, they also make it easier to set up filters for my hotmail account. I have all aol.com addy's blocked.

    "C" ;)

    1. Re:AOL has its place by cybermace5 · · Score: 5, Funny

      I definitely plan to get my mother online via AOL...
      ...I have all aol.com addy's blocked.


      But what about your poor mot...oh, I get it now.

      --
      ...
  17. Exactly! by blazerw11 · · Score: 5, Insightful

    If MSN wins, then IE wins (or has it?)

    I'm tired of coding for the crap that is MS's constantly changing browser standards. I have a web app that works on Netscape 6.x and higher as well as the Mozilla's that spawned them and other Gecko based browsers. However, it only works on IE 5.5. It won't work on 5.0 because the JavaScript and DOM are incomplete and 6.0 renders pages horribly.

    If IE is to be the standard, then there will be NO standard.

    --
    A great many people think they are thinking when they are merely rearranging their prejudices. -- William James
  18. sinking real fast now... by Jucius+Maximus · · Score: 5, Interesting
    One way that many people get AOL for free is that they install one of those thousand hour free CDs and then when the given number of free months has expired, they call up to cancel. Of course the agent tries to convince them to stay on by offering another free month. The user accepts this. The agent gets a monetary bonus for not losing a customer. The customer just lathers, rinses, repeats the next month.

    I suspet that the number of free hours given out by AOL accounts for millions of dollars each month in 'lost' revenue.

    I agree with your original comments about how AOL has the touchy feely stuff down pat. They have huge customer service departments to answer questions when the like "how do I send a picture through e-mail" and so on. I have worked in small home-based businesses selling custom computers and internet access and frankly, support is the most troublesome part of it because most users just don't get it. Although I eschew AOL internet and pre built PCs (dell, gateway, etc) for myself, I must unfortunately recommend such solutions for clueless users because it's the only way they're going to get support for answering stupid questions because the people who run small businesses that ship better products don't have the time or money of all of that.

  19. Re:I hate to say it... by back_pages · · Score: 5, Interesting
    I've never found a site that doesn't work with Mozilla.

    Alternatively, I have found thousands of sites that bombard IE with popup ads, and Ad-aware reports that much more nefarious activity is happening as well.

    In this comparison, it is blatantly obvious that IE is the inferior product which fails almost completely in its attempts to meet my expectations. If AOL can provide a web browser that does not include 1,001 ways to violate my security, require third party software to repair the damage, and inundate me with advertisements, then that is a marvelous advantage for them and for their users.

    If, however, you are more concerned with preserving advertisers revenues and consider the end users' rights and privacy to be an inconvenience, then your comment is right on.

    Long live microsoft trolls, eh?

  20. Re:Keyword: CHEAPER by zulux · · Score: 5, Funny

    ...50% of bandwidth going to ads, AOL is dying. Expect A0L to lose more ground over the coming months... considering their future next to cable and DSL access, for all intents and purposes AOL is dead.



    I found him! The origional author of the '*BSD Is Dying' troll!

    --

    Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.

  21. AOL(tw) lost revenue? by yerricde · · Score: 5, Funny

    I suspet that the number of free hours given out by AOL accounts for millions of dollars each month in 'lost' revenue.

    Does AOL Time Warner "lose" more revenue from free months of AOL service than it loses from piracy of Warner Bros. Pictures, New Line Cinema, and Warner Bros. Records products?

    --
    Will I retire or break 10K?
  22. Actually, AOL predates the WWW by years by kfg · · Score: 5, Insightful


    http://iml.jou.ufl.edu/projects/Fall2000/McAtee/

    AOL simply finds itself in the position many online services found themselves in with the advent of the WWW, without an actual raison d'etre, and managed, somehow, to reposition themselves as the "hallway" where others failed to do the same.

    So while I believe the author is correct in that they're fighting a battle they will ultimately lose, the premise that they somehow positioned themselves for this is faulty.

    They were originally based on the premise that *ordinary* people would pay for online services, and for a number of years were the *only* such service available to such ordinary people.

    The "Information Superhighway" didn't happen to be built throught their "town," nor was its future existence predictable in the first place. Much as many ghost towns in the midwest were "created" by the particular route the railroad companies happened to pick, such railroad companies not being predictable when the towns were founded a century before on perfectly solid river routes.

    KFG

  23. Time Warner gripes about AOL merger by sssmashy · · Score: 5, Interesting

    email sent by Robert Hughes, disgruntled Time art critic, to AOLTimeWarner macher Gerry Levin, quoted by Tina Brown:

    How can I convey to you the disgust which your name awakens in me begins Hughes to LevinThe merger with Warner was a catastrophe. But the hitherto unimagined stupidity, the blind arrogance of your deal with Case simply beggars description. How can you face yourself knowing how much history, value and savings you have thrown away on your mad, ignorant attempt to merge with a wretched dial-up ISP? . . . I dot know what advice you have to offer, but I have some for you. Buy some rope, go out the back, find a tree and hang yourself. If you had any honour you would.

    Seems like some of the Time Warner employees are feeling some strong emotions about their management's attempt to hitch themselves to a sinking ISP...

  24. Funny you should mention that... by GMFTatsujin · · Score: 5, Funny

    Back in the days when I was an AOL tech support rep (shudder) we had this call tracking database that prompted up solutions for various problems encountered by the user base. It was some sort of knowledge base brain-sharing thing, forget what it was called, and everyone hated it anyway. We all had the ability to submit new call types and solutions. So on my last day there I entered a few in....

    This is one of them. For all I know it's still there.

    .
    .
    .

    Version: ALL PLATFORMS
    Problem Type: Connection -- Modem Dialing
    Topic: Other
    Symptom: SERVERS DOWN. CALL QUEUE STATUS LIGHT IS SOLID UNWAVERING RED, AS IF 10 MILLION MEMBERS CRIED OUT AT ONCE -- THEN CALLED TECH SUPPORT
    Resolution: ABANDON ALL HOPE, GIVE IN TO DESPAIR
    Solution: "Sorry, server's down, thank you for calling. Can I interest you in $20 worth of free gas?" ...beep... "Sorry, server's down, thank you for calling. Can I interest you in $20 worth of free gas?" ...beep... "Sorry, server's down, thank you for calling. Can I interest you in $20 worth of free gas?" ...beep... "No, you can't have your money back. Can I interest you in $20 worth of free gas?" ... beep... "Sorry, server's down, thank you for calling. Can I interest you in $20 worth of free gas?" ...beep...
    .
    .
    .

    My supervisor got a call from the QA team asking if that was supposed to be a joke or not, if you can believe it.
    GMFTatsujin

  25. Re:Ironic... by guacamolefoo · · Score: 5, Interesting

    > Over the weekend, I heard analyst say that if
    > AOL had not purchased Time/Warner, the
    > Time/Warner stock would be around $40 and AOL
    > would be around $4. Right now, AOL is at $11.89.

    I have always thought that AOL was never in the business of selling internet access. It was in the business of selling AOL stock.

    Because I own parts of a couple of various businesses, I get a pile of free magazines, including "Inc." "Inc." is for "growing businesses" and "entrepreneurs". Lovely people, those. Unfortunately, the writers at "Inc." are horribly out of synch with real live american small businesses. One example of this was the Inc article where it was discussed how one whould "market" a company for sale. Lo and behold, the company's products and business weren't the interesting thing anymore, the company itself was being marketed. AOL should have been listed in this article as the ultimate example of this. It made the owners of AOL billions.

    AOL shareholders had no way to justify the valuation of their ISP/online service based on revenues or expected future profits (the traditional model of valuation). The ISP business is hard: it is low margin, price-sensitive, the barriers to entry are low, it is basically unregulated, and you're at the mercy of the ILECs. AOL has all these problems -- it's not just other ISPs.

    "Ordinary" dial-up ISPs might sell privately today for $100-$150 a subscriber, and maybe $250-$350 during the bubble. AOL was valued at about $2,500. AOL didn't run from that -- it brayed repeatedly about how its size and scale were so valuable and about how controlling the onramps to the internet was so valuable. But they feared that the game would be up before that value could be locked in.

    So...faced with the prospect of having all their paper wealth evaporate, Case et al ginned up the idea of using a stock purchase deal to buy some legitimate assets. This made perfect sense, and I argued with some friends that more tech bubble babies should have done this.

    AOL could have bought GM or Chrysler or any number of major banks. Instead, they had to buy something with a tenuous connection to an ISP: a media company with a bunch of cable assets. Bingo. Content and a means to deliver (at some as-yet-undetermined date) high speed access and new services.

    As with most ill-conceived mergers of large companies, the big thing was "synergy." If you are unfamiliar with it, "synergy" is the modern financial philosopher's stone that auto-magically turns horseshit into honey. (Look for HP/Compaq to have either horseshit or honey coming out of its ears sometime in the next couple of years -- I suspect you know where my bet is).

    AOL essentially pimped itself so well that it fooled the stodgy old dorks at Time Warner (who feared and still fear that technology will impoverish them) that not only would AOL save them, it would make everyone filthy rich. It didn't. In essence, AOL gave some (not so) magic beans in exchange for the Time Warner cash cows. Time Warner was fleeced. They probably lost more in the stock market bubble than anyone else in the world.

    I wonder if former Time/Warner stock holders feel like idiots for approving the merger.

    What do you think?

    Note: I have no problems with how any of this went down -- everyone involved had smart advisors and lawyers and accountants. Time Warner people aren't sympathetic victims -- they just made a horrible decision about a business that they just really didn't understand, IMHO. I do not consider this to be an indictment of AOL or Time Warner. It's just an interesting story to me.

    guac-foo

  26. Just check your web server logs... by Zeekamotay · · Score: 5, Interesting

    I run about 1000 websites. Analyzing the logs for all sites combined over the past few years, the drop in AOL activity is pretty staggering. AOL alone used to account for 25% of all our traffic. As of today, it's down to about 8%.

    Jan 1 2000: 24.97%
    Jan 1 2001: 17.08%
    Jan 2002: 12.32%
    Feb 2002: 11.89%
    Mar 2002: 11.41%
    Apr 2002: 11.42%
    May 2002: 11.26%
    Jun 2002: 10.36%
    Jul 2002: 8.22%
    Aug 2002: 10.16%
    Sep 2002: 9.97%
    Oct 14 2002: 8.12%

    AOL is still holding the #1 slot, but not by much. In January of this year, it had a 6% advantage over the #2 spot, now held by attbi.com. Now, that margin is down to about 2.5%.

  27. HOW TO SAVE AOL: I'm going to say it again.... by aengblom · · Score: 5, Insightful
    AOL's roots are in providing "computer network services" to the masses: Simplifying internet services. AOL is still the great at this. However, AOL is massivley deluding itself as to where it should put its effort. How? The early 1990s "online" user is really different from the current "online" user.

    AOL is sinking because it's focus is still getting "technophobe grandma" online. That's messed up. (Hell I'm sure it's still the leader there, but grandma is either online or doesn't care at this point).

    AOL should focus on providing all the services WE AS GEEKS take for ganted.

    • Want 3 computers on your broadband? No problem. We'll HELP.
    • Want power yet easy to use mail support? Done
    • Want to backup to an online storage facility. Click here
    • Want to run a website. Buy a domain. Tie your domain to your aol mail. We're at your service. Click for new services.
    • Everything in .Mac
    • Continue to ad service and build the values (services prodvide) in AOL. Make
    • Run a micro-payment system. Want ads off slashdot? Don't pay slashdot 25 cents. Add 25 cents to your AOL bill. AOL pays slashdot it's monthly earnings from all of its users.
    • Provide premium content. Maybe salon. Maybe ... (ok we know what i'm thinking and it's the real way to save AOL ;-) )


    AOL will work it's ass off to be a broadband provider, but that isn't it's true strength anyway. (It makes things easier for AOL though). AOL is about "value added" and it has to add value for me to pay the "bring your own service" plan.

    That's the only way it will survive.

    --


    So close and yet so far from the world's perfect ID number
  28. I hope AOL Stays in business... by PHAEDRU5 · · Score: 5, Funny

    I haven't finished tiling my office with AOL CDs.

    --
    668: Neighbour of the Beast
  29. Re:While we all hate AOL --- Real Problem is Price by micromoog · · Score: 5, Funny
    ...mainly consist of abusive chatrooms with l3m3rs...

    I'd like to chat with some lemurs.