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Gateway To Use Corel Over MS For Office Suite

djellusion writes "Dealing yet another blow to Microsoft, Gateway has announced that it will be using Corels Wordperfect office suite instead of Microsoft Office. I can only see this as a good thing because friendly competition creates drive for better(less clippy) products. Can I order my system with no office suite please?"

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  1. Top 5 Anal Sex Tips by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Tip #1: Play Safe

    There are some serious safety issues regarding anal sex that you need to be aware of at all times. First and foremost, whatever touches the anus shouldn't be touching anything else. Never never never take the penis out of the anus and put it into the vagina. That can lead to serious infections and other complications. After any kind of anal play, you should immediately change condoms and wash the relevant body parts thoroughly.

    Of course, STDs are also a major concern with anal sex. This isn't just limited to AIDS; herpes, genital warts, syphilis, gonorrhea, etc. can all be transmitted through anal sex. You shouldn't be having anal sex without a condom; it's not worth the risk to either partner.

    Tip #2: Lube, lube, lube

    One of the most important thing to remember when thinking about anal sex is that, unlike the vagina, the anus isn't self-lubricating: you gotta bring your own grease. And, the more lube you use, the better. It will make the initial penetration much more easy and less painful for the woman and make the whole experience, for both of you, much more pleasant. The most common suggestion we get from our readers is to use LOTS of lube; we just can't emphasize this point enough.

    All kinds of lube are used for anal sex, from spit to Vaseline to high-tech silicone-based lubes. We'd strongly recommend spending a little money to get a high quality water-based lubricant; remember, an oil-based lubricant like Vaseline will degrade the latex in a condom, destroying its usefulness. We'd recommend products like AstroGlide or KY Jelly, available in any drug store. Note, though a condom may be "lubricated", they typically don't offer as much lube as we'd recommend for anal sex.

    There are some specialty lubes designed for anal sex that include an anesthetic to numb the woman's sensation and make anal sex less painful. We'd advise against these products. The simple fact is, pain is a way of your body telling you that something's wrong. If you're in pain during anal sex, you need to focus on solving the root problems, not anesthetizing yourself so it's easier to endure.

    Tip #3: Start Small

    Simply put, a penis is an awful big to be the first thing you stick up someone's butt . Better to start with something smaller and work your way up. Fingers are an excellent beginning point. Use one finger, then two, to initiate your partner into the mysteries of anal penetration. Try it while performing oral sex for an extra thrill. Be sure your fingernails are trimmed, not to forget the lube, and you might even want to wear latex gloves.

    As your partner gets used to your fingers, you might graduate to a butt plug or a small dildo. Dildos are available in all shapes and sizes. Go shopping together to get one she thinks she can handle. Remember, though, don't put the dildo into the vagina after putting it into the anus. The safest way is to put a condom on the dildo before using it, and to wash it thoroughly immediately after.

    Tip #4: Turnabout is Fair Play

    Whether you're trying to convince someone to have anal sex or trying to figure out how to do it in a gentle, pain free manner, there's no better preparation that exploring anal play with yourself.

    A partner is much more likely to consent to anal sex if she's seen that you're open to being on the receiving end as well. Encourage her to use her fingers inside of you, or even purchase a butt plug or small dildo and let her use that. Once she's seen you're willing to do it, it'll be hard for her to resist exploring it as well.

    Of course, anal play on yourself is a great way to learn how anal sex feels and to learn how to make it more comfortable for your partner. You might also be surprised just how much you like it...

    Tip #5: Clear the Way

    Before having anal sex, the woman should have a good, complete bowel movement. If she doesn't, the man may find himself encountering far more fecal matter than he might have liked (i.e. packing the fudge). Now, for some people doing this on-command might not be the easiest thing, and straining to defecate is not healthy. A high fiber diet may help things along and is good for your health in any case.

    Of course, if you really want to clean things out in a hurry, you can purchase an enema from any drug store. There's some controversy about this; some people feel having an enema first can actually increase the irritation during anal sex. If you're going to go the enema route, we'd recommend doing it several hours before you plan to have anal sex, rather than right before the act.

  2. WordPerfect by TheRealFixer · · Score: 2, Troll

    My HP laptop came with WordPerfect2000. Can't stand it. Akward to use, lacks in features. WordPerfect was cool back in version 5.1. Of course, it was just about the ONLY viable word processor back in 5.1.

    The first thing I did was uninstall it and install OpenOffice 1.0.1.

  3. MOD PARENT UP by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    This is the most informative and well documented post in this whole page. If the mods had any sence they'd mod this up!

    SIR BARD

  4. EULAgy for MS Work Suite 2002 by HealYourChurchWebSit · · Score: 1, Troll

    Microsoft Work Suite Dead at 2002

    William Gates, CEO of the CPU, has announced the watered-down, kissing cousin
    of Microsoft Office XP, Microsoft Work Suite (MWS). It was version 2002.

    MWS was laid to rest in one of the largest disassemblies in recent years.
    Placed in a bit bucket between Lotus Smart Suite and WordStar, its demise
    was celebrated by such luminaries as Bjarne Stroustrup and James Gosling.

    The gravesite was piled high with unfinished .RTF documents as
    longtime wannabe, WordPad ruffled some feathers when whie delivering a eulogy,
    it describing MWS as an app who "was constantly on a quest to please the home user."

    Internet Explorer didn't help things by asserting that MWS' demise was accelerated
    by imposed strict licensing deals with hardware makers, expensive user upgrade paths
    and intrusive registrations and overbearing EULAs.

    At that point delegates from Visual Basic .NET stepped in and restored operational order.

    Later, Notepad was heard coming to the defense of WordPad by asserting that a
    double entendre was impossible as it was not equipped
    "extended thesaurus support ... then again, neither was MWS."

    MWS is survived by a 30 year End Users License Agreement, along with
    a host of incompatible database files.

    --
    --- have you healed your church website?
  5. Re:No news here by ites · · Score: 2, Troll
    Higher prices caused by piracy...
    I have to take issue with this. Piracy does not cause high prices. Monopoly control of the market causes high prices. Microsoft has carefully seeded the globe with Windows and Office and has even accepted piracy as one of the many ways its culture gets distributed and engrained.
    Like any business, Microsoft raise their prices when they think they can.
    Most users are used to getting fat packets of software for very little. What is happening now is that (a) there are more choices because Microsoft has not been able to extend its products infinitely, and (b) Microsoft has started to tighten the noose around its customers.
    Frankly, having learnt one WP or spreadhseet or presentation tool, anyone with modest smarts can learn another.
    --
    Sig for sale or rent. One previous user. Inquire within.
  6. Re:Oh.. the pressure! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    Hey, I heard you were gay. Is this true?

  7. Re:Who *needs* MS Office ? by vldmr_krn · · Score: 0, Troll

    Who needs all the extra features of MS Office anyway?

    Almost everyone I've worked with. Just yesterday, one of my employers (I troubleshoot computers and teach) needed the fax wizard feature. Also yesterday, I needed to do a mail merge for another employer to create labels for their upcoming poster exhibit, and showed him how to use the convert table to text feature to generate a email mailing list of his previous customers. Near the beginning of the year, another one of my employers used Word for their company catalog which needed some fancy tables.

    I live in New York, so maybe I'm around more sophisticated people, but none of these people were geeks. Two of them are almost technophobes.