Brains on a Chip

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Posted by michael on Thursday October 17, 2002 @11:17AM from the pass-the-onion-dip-and-salsa dept.

jhouserizer writes "The New Scientist magazine has an article reporting on new advances in keeping brain tissue alive (and working) on a "chip", with electrodes that can monitor the brain activity. Could this be a step toward computers that can learn as humans learn?"

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The Nazis have been doing this for years by Anonymous Coward · 2002-10-17 11:21 · Score: 0, Funny

Everyone knows they take orders from Hitler's brain, which is alive on a chip in a jar.
byebye body by Inominate · 2002-10-17 11:22 · Score: 2, Funny

So when can I have my brain removed and bolted directly into my computer?

Who needs holographic displays, or high quality speakers when it's all piped directly into your mind?.
1. Re:byebye body by Tablizer · 2002-10-17 18:30 · Score: 2, Funny
  
  Digital rights management sure would suck though.
  
  All the porn stars are gonna copyright their bodies, and bill you everytime you fantasize about them.
  
  --
  Table-ized A.I.
A step towards learning computers? Not quite... by stefanlasiewski · 2002-10-17 11:35 · Score: 4, Funny

"The New Scientist magazine has an article reporting on new advances in keeping brain tissue alive (and working) on a "chip", with electrodes that can monitor the brain activity. Could this be a step toward computers that can learn as humans learn?"

Not quite, The scientists are really just developing a a way for keeping your brain alive while watching TELEVISION!

--
"Can of worms? The can is open... the worms are everywhere."
Make 'em work together? by Anonymous Coward · 2002-10-17 12:00 · Score: 0, Funny

Imagine a beowulf cluster of these! On a render farm, at that!
Timeline by mar1no · 2002-10-17 12:14 · Score: 0, Funny

1) Man merges computer chip into brain. 2) Computer chip able to simulate orgasm over an over. 3) Technolo..*oh god, yes yes YES OOhh oh..* um yeah, I'll be right back.

--
"you sonofabitch i didn't know!"
Re:Who will it be? by ActiveSX · 2002-10-17 13:11 · Score: 2, Funny

by silicon_synapse on 16:34 17th October, 2002 (#4474477)

I find your name quite appropriate for this story. You used your amazing silicon brain to compute the chances of this story happening when you registered your account, didn't you?
Future of computers learning ... by rotwhylr · 2002-10-17 14:15 · Score: 5, Funny

The LAST thing we should want is a computer that learns like a human. With my luck I'll probably buy one that complains about homework and gets F's before dropping out of school and mooching off me for life.

--
-- Windows is not simply installed on a computer; it is inflicted.
In a related story by WhiteChocolate42 · 2002-10-17 17:51 · Score: 3, Funny

YOUR TOWN- In a related story, several zombies broke into a local CompUSA, chanting "Braaaaaains" and licking every processor in sight.
Re:Oh contraire. by mj_1903 · 2002-10-17 22:02 · Score: 2, Funny

I don't want to feel what my computer is feeling "Help, I'm burning, I'm burning!"
Hardware and software issues... by snoopdalf · 2002-10-17 23:05 · Score: 2, Funny

What about the interface? Microsoft wont allow anything REMOTELY related to computers being used without an OS, Preferably theirs. Its a vicious circle I tell you. Back to the Linux Windows war, not even mentioning cross upgrade issues between different manufacturers... "Sorry sir, your MS BRAIN professional is currently unlicenced, well have to confiscate your brain..." ps: computer viruses in your BRAIN !!!