Go Stand By the Stairs, So I Can Protect You

ewhac writes "It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations. So he wrote Porrasturvat -- 'Stair Dismount'. The game involves the application of force vectors to solid bodies connected by links with constrained range of motion, and observing their impact forces against other objects in the environment. ...Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs and see how much damage he takes. Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental."

Comments

Waste of resources

[Anonymous Coward]

two people for this experiment - 1 man plus alcohol can deliver all your falling down stairs needs - reports may take longer to compile

Reminds me of a movie I saw

[zeendr]

Madeline: Ernest! My ass. I can see my ass. ERNEST: Yeah, and there's something really wrong with your neck too.

Any Similarity between this game

[Anonymous Coward]

And Sim-WifeBeater is also an acccident.

Re:The bug in this game...

[meringuoid]

You can get really high scores in this game by finding the "bug": I'll keep the hint minimal, but if you push hard on his foot, and try to push it down and back into the stairs, there's a chance he'll get stuck for a few seconds... resulting in very high scores.

Do not listen to him, he is mistaken.

You should _shove_ hard on his foot. Shove it down and back into the stairs. I am the pusher robot.

For assembly 2002? I dont think so....

[GnomeKing]

It seems a programmer named Jetro Lauha, for his submission to the Assembly 2002 competition, decided to explore the realm of solid body physics simulations

thats what HE wants us to believe....

Its quite interesting that the stairs were based on his local library and that he recently had an big argument with the librarian (who was, coincidently, sleeping with Jetro's partner)

But, of course, last sundays accident was a horrible coincidence and he honestly didnt mean to stumble and push the librarian on the upper left arm at a 37.6 degree angle or anything...

Which is another amazing coincidence because thats precisely how the highest (non-buggy) score submitted to his website was achieved!

Expansion pack

[Anonymous Coward]

If you can wait 6 months there is an expansion pack,Banana Peels and Rollerskate.

Damn you

[jukal]

Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs and see how much damage he takes

I actually have played that game a couple of times, and now you pushed the website down the stairs with the /. effect! What do you expect I will do with my obsession to push people, when I next take the stair down to leave the office :)

** Ohh, this is the perfect chance to plug the analysis of the slashdot effect once more.

Oh, it's like that...

[flippet]

Was anyone else dissappointed when they found out it was just a computer game?

Phil, just me

Slashdot - Melting servers since 1997

[AndrewHowe]

Anyone got a mirror?

Interesting license ;)

[oniony]

Now I've read the license, all is clear:

COPYRIGHT LICENSE - KOPIO-OIKEUS LISENSSI

"This material" (hereafter D6y893) is not freeware. It is owned by "the
author" (hereafter L6kld8j4). "You" (hereafter 8q39ys) are allowed to copy
it without restrictions for non-commercial use.

No payment of any kind may be charged for D6y893 or any combination
of products or services including D6y893 without L6kld8j4's authorization
and official written license.

Commercial use, especially the industrial manufacturing on any data
storage media and their distribution without the expressed permission of
the producer, is strictly prohibited.

D6y893 or the data files contained therein may not be altered or
modified without the permission of L6kld8j4.

8q39ys take full responsibility for the operation of D6y893 and any
consequences thereof. L6kld8j4 can not accept liability for damages
or failures arising from the use of D6y893.

In case of dispute arbitration the place of arbitration shall be Helsinki,
Finland. The language of arbitration shall be Finnish.

I'm sure it must L6kld8j4's ability to come up with a novel slant in D6y893 that makes it so appealing to 8q39ys.

8q39ys.

only one flight?

[Hadlock]

i was hoping this would be like a stairwell, where you had to angle the guy around the corner to get to the next set of stairs.... or maybe knock him upwards so he "grinds" on the hand rail.... that'd be pretty sweet. still, a really fun game, even if it does render horrendously slowly on a meager K6-2 300. the slow mo sure is entertaining, though.

Re:only one flight?

[Alsee]

in this version the guy would fall down the stairs, off a ledge onto another flight of stairs, out a window, do a 10 story swan dive to the pavement below... i don't know where it would go from there however..

Well duh!

At that point a schoolbus full of kids would come down the road and bash him into an open manhole into the subway system where he'd get hit by the F-train. If you time it just right he'll get dragged along by the train and up onto some elevated track where he'd fly off with enough force to crash through the window of the Acme Rocket-Powered rollerskate factory...

-

Finnish Hillbilly?

[Quila]

Jetro/Jethro? :)

Escalator

[Bohnanza]

Push him down an up escalator and the program will never stop running.

Jetro Lauha Has Been Protected...

[Zech Harvey]

He has gone down the stairs.
Pak Chooie uNF.

Uh oh..

[Quixote]

Or, more colloquially, you push a guy down the stairs

I think we just pushed his webserver down the stairs.

oh that similarity.

[Sarin]

Apparently, any similarity between this game and the Terrible Secret of Space is entirely coincidental

Is the similarity that they both are unavailable due to massive slashdotting?

Productivity just went negative

[back_pages]

This is the best game ever. This is the best game ever. EVAR!!!11 I would happily pay money for future versions. Make it more sporting. Include different geography. Level 1, the simple residential flight of stairs. Level 10, the stairwell of a three story office building. The method for determining injuries is good, but it could be better. Others pointed out that its all impact; include strain and compression. Limit the joints range of motion a little bit. (Oh no, boss is coming!)

(He's gone, shew.) Handrails and doorknobs would be a plus. You could include some quirky plot, make it like Thief. You have to sneak around the office, driven by some unexplainable urge to shove people down stairs. Leave it unexplainable and focus on gameplay. If there's a witness, you get caught, game over. If the victim isn't hit hard enough in the head, he can tell people what happened, game over. And of course, powerups!

I am the Shover Robot

[Picass0]

Do not trust the Pusher Robot. I am here to protect you.

I like it.

[Unknown Poltroon]

It kinda reminds me of watching my 401k plan for the past year.

New Game: Porraslurshdat

[serutan]

Object: Application of network traffic vectors to physical web servers connected by links with constrained bandwidth resources, and observing their impact against response time. Or, more colloquially... you push a million /. readers at a website and see how much damage it takes.