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Microsoft on Security: We'll Break Your Apps

Posted by ryuzaki0 on from the windows-ain't-done-while-competing-apps-still-run dept.

jointm1k writes "Wired.com is running a story about how Microsoft is trying to act responsible and all by fixing (or trying to fix?) many (if not all) security holes in Windows. Not only new versions of Windows will be patched or improved, but as I understood they also plan to force security updates for older versions of Windows down peoples throats. Even if that means that some applications will mallfunction. Nice to see Microsoft taking reponsibility for their mistakes, but they really should have done so when they designed Windows."

13 of 527 comments (clear)

  1. Life of Brian jumps to mind... by somethingwicked · · Score: 4, Funny
    .

    Brian-"There's just no pleasing some people"

    Beggar-"That's what Jesus said, sir"

    --

    ---"What did I say that sounded like 'Tell me about your day?'"---

  2. Applications will mallfunction?!? by Voytek · · Score: 5, Funny

    Is that the new niche for software designed for teenage girls?

    1. Re:Applications will mallfunction?!? by Marc2k · · Score: 2, Funny

      Ooo...maybe Windows now comes with backpacks

      --
      --- What
  3. Terrorism. Of course. by Daniel+Dvorkin · · Score: 3, Funny
    Craig Mundie, who oversees the company's Trustworthy Computing initiative, told an audience Wednesday that in response to the threat of terrorist cyberattacks, Microsoft would deploy security fixes to its installed base of hundreds of millions of computers worldwide in the coming year -- even if those fixes break applications in use by customers.
    Funny, I don't see Sun or IBM or Oracle or the Apache people -- who between them are responsible for a hell of a lot more of the nation's critical computer infrastructure than Microsoft -- going all nuts over security since Sept. 11th. Why, those unpatriotic scum! They must be terrorists themselves! Report them to John Ashcroft immediately! And remember to buy only Microsoft(r) products ... or the terrorists will have won(tm).

    Let's roll.(tm)(r)(c)
    --
    The correlation between ignorance of statistics and using "correlation is not causation" as an argument is close to 1.
  4. Oh, I can see the dialogue now by SonicBurst · · Score: 2, Funny

    Microsoft: We'll break your apps!

    App developers: And just exactly how is this different from Windows as it stands now?

    --

    Geek used to be a four letter word. Now it's a six-figure one.
  5. Pulitzer by timothy_m_smith · · Score: 5, Funny
    I'm wondering if the Pulitzer Prize committee is reading Slashdot because this post should be highly considered. Look at the following quotes:

    ...Microsoft is trying to act responsible and all by fixing...
    ...they also plan to force security updates for older versions of Windows down peoples throats...


    Hopefully we can look forward to more posts containing phrases like "I reckon" and "Y'all" to appear on Slashdot soon. Not to mention that there isn't even anything new in this post at all that has been discussed ad nauseum on Slashdot already.
  6. They started three years ago? by epukinsk · · Score: 4, Funny

    "We didn't just fall off the turnip truck a year ago and realize we needed to do this, We started thinking about this three years ago."

    Microsoft didn't start thinking about security until Windows 2000 was a release candidate?

    Software Engineer: Uh, Craiggers... I just heard some disturbing news.
    Craig Mundie: Don't bother me now, I almost beat Bill's fastest time on Minesweeper.
    SE: Well, it's just that Joe apparently didn't design any security infrastructure into Windows.
    CM: Security what?
    SE: Well, remember when I was telling you about how "hackers" can very easily get information on your computer?
    CM: What, like that Stellman fellow and his hippie freedom shit?
    SE: Not really.
    CM: Well, if you think it's important, I'll have Bill send a memo out about it.

    "Trustworthy Computing, a sweeping overhaul of Microsoft's software, business models and programming practices, was publicized in January [of this year] by a company-wide memo from Microsoft chairman Bill Gates."

  7. Re:What? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    There, that's all I was looking for. Thank you for conceeding that my code is flawless.

  8. Simpsons Security... by Tsali · · Score: 3, Funny

    Craig: Hi, Homer.

    Homer: Hi. Who are you?

    Craig: I help run a big computer company.

    Homer: Oh. Hi! Do you have donuts?

    Craig: Listen, I know you are a typical user and I want to share with you some very important details about your future personal computing experience.

    Homer: Huh?

    Craig: You have a computer. You bought it from us in 1996.

    Homer: I did?

    Craig: Well, your son did. He didn't buy it either.

    Homer: Oh.

    Craig: Anyhow, we let him keep it. We found out its insecure and in the next day or so, you will need to buy a shiny new one.

    Homer: Why?

    Craig: Because its insecure.

    Homer: Why?

    Craig: Because. So the old stuff won't work anymore.

    (pause)

    Craig: That's bad.

    Homer: Doh!

    Craig: But you have the chance to buy all new stuff. That's good.

    Homer: I'm getting bored. Do you have donuts?

    Craig: No. I'm off now. By the way, can you tell Mr. Burns that the software at his nuclear plant won't work on Monday, provided it isn't hijacked by terrorists after we roll out the new version?

    Homer: Why did I let him in my house? How *did* he get in my house?

    --
    This space for rent.
  9. A god? Oh, please! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny
    as silly as protecting god with a sword

    More like protecting a snarling pack of wolves with a duck.

  10. Re:Novell guilty of the same by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    I know I am off topic, but I have to ask: You mean you actually got ArcServe to work on Netware?! I never could, even after full rebuild on dedicated server with Cheyenne on the phone with me during the entire rebuild, with everything being certified by both Novell and Cheyenne as Novell Netware approved. Tried everything under the sun and eventually decided their software sucked (ever used Inoculan/InoculateIT...it would allow your machine to get infected with the latest virus even after you had applied the sig updates and then tell you that your machine was infected with a virus.) I would use my user id (instead of anonymous coward), but I am still waiting on the password.

  11. Insecurity by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Microsoft: We're releasing this, but you'll probably find bugs.
    Slashdot: Damn them and their bugs!!!
    Microsoft: Okay, we've created the patches, but you may lose a little functionality.
    Slashdot: Damn the patches!!! Admins can fix this themselves!!!

    Anybody see something wrong with this picture?

  12. Re:NNYYYYEEEAAARGHHHH! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    you aren't allowed to use the phrase "Let's Roll" in public unless you're actually about to confront terrorists on a hijacked plane...

    ...and when you buy a big bag of marijuana.