Defense Department 'eDNA' Plan Withdrawn

An anonymous reader points out this report on News.com from Declan McCullagh of a far-reaching plan (now withdrawn) to curtail much online privacy through the use of biometric markers, excerpting "The idea involved creating secure areas of the Internet that could be accessed only if a user had such a marker, called eDNA, according to a report in Friday's New York Times." Perhaps they'll withdraw the plan to track everything you buy next. Update: 11/24 17:38 GMT by T : Here is the original New York Times report from John Markoff.

Comments

They can still steal your organs in your sleep!

[I Am The Owl]

Now, I've been watching the government very closely lately (because I know they do the same to me!), and here's what I've learned:

• Even though they are "withdrawing" the plan to steal your DNA fingerprint to scan your organs for compatability with top world leaders and military figures, they will most certainly come up with another, more insidious method of tracking everything I do and violating my Constitutional online rights to privacy!
• They are going to take all my personal information, gleaned from the radioactive emissions from the dye that was injected into my veins during my alien abduction, read my thought patterns and link it all up in a big government database where they can read my buying habits and then jump me in a convenience store and cut my balls off while I scream in terror at the giant drone android they will use to do the job.

So be careful about the DoD. Just because they draw one of their insidious plans back into their black helicopter doesn't mean there's one of the fuckers right behind you ready to steal your precious radioactive bodily fluids for further study.

You must remain constantly vigilant. I have not slept in 4 weeks, and neither should you, if you knew what they were up to!

Re:They can still steal your organs in your sleep!

[Anonymous Coward]

Shut up, Agent Mulder. You're making us look bad, again.

- A.D. Walter Skinner

argh....

[Anonymous Coward]

how about we know everything the government does, then i'll tell them everything i do. sound fair?

Re:eDNA.. palladium.. hm

[Anonymous Coward]

Okay, so your copy of Windows Leghorn

It's a, I say it's a joke son. Don't cha get it? You're built too short, the good ones go over yer head. Ya got a hole in yer glove, boy, I keep pitching them and you keep missing them. Ya gotta keep yer eye on the ball, son. Eye. Ball. Eyeball. I almost had a funny there. Joke, that is.

Re:History will tell...

[GreyWolf3000]

Nobody has any balls anymore period.

We're trained at a young age to worship sports figures as our heroes, and accept our mediocre lives because those guys on tv are too.

Our men are physically becoming more and more impotent, as our per capita sperm count is dropping dramatically. How can we stand up and fight if we can't even 'stand up?'

The Orwellian future is here my friends. Only he couldn't even conceive the degree to which we are sinking.

FUD (f-uh-d) (n) - Fear, uncertainty, and doubt.

PS. *BSD is DYING.