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DreamHack Winter 2002
JJC writes "DreamHack, a huge LAN party, is taking place this weekend in Sweden. Here's some information in English and a daily report from sponsors ASUS. This and this ought to give you an idea of the scale of the thing. Here's the obligatory webcam and their Internet bandwidth graph. It's a massively impressive event, wish I was there! :-)"
Vikki was 19 when she came over that Tuesday. My wife and I had been
separated for quite some time. Vikki used to visit me about once a
week. I'm a good-looking man and she always enjoyed being around me.
She was a lot of fun and we would drink beer and I'd answer questions
that came up in her life. She was doing a lot of fucking--that much
we shared--and it was clear she was horny all the time. It was her
birthday so I gave her a gift certificate that she could use at one of
the fanciest stores in Berkeley. She was a cheerleader at her college
and needed some new skirts for the practice sessions after school.
She was surprised to find that the store had some lingerie. Without
telling me she bought a pair of black spike heels, some long black net
stockings, a garter belt and a pair of wispy black panties and bra.
She needed a D-cup and her large breasts nearly spilled out of the bra
as she tried it on. The lingerie was mostly silk and quite expensive.
Vikki felt sexy wearing it. Her nipples got hard and exquisitely
sensitive, while the crotch of the black silk panties began to moisten
with the juices from her pussy. She looked at herself in the mirror
in the dressing room and it entered her mind that I mustn't ever see
her dressed like this! But when Vikki came back, I asked to see the
purchases and was very surprised and turned on by what she had done. I
asked to see her in her new clothes. She explained to me it was very
erotic and it might not be a good idea to model for me. I replied
that if other men were going to see it, why not me? I kept coaxing
her and finally she gave in. Vikki is slender, with huge breasts that
belong on a girl with a much bigger frame. Her nipples are dark
brown, thick and meaty, getting very long when aroused. She went into
my bedroom and changed into her new things. She looked kind of like
Megan Leigh on my favorite porno videos and when she walked out of the
bedroom my eyes almost popped out of my head. I could see her thick
nipples getting hard under the transparent silk bra. Her tits were
practically falling out of it. Her pussy hair was completely visible
under the panties and a thin line of hair ran up to her belly button.
I immediately started to get a hard-on, my cock pushing against my
levis. "You really look nice, hon, why don't you model a little bit
for me." Vikki smiled at me and began to shake her ass as she paraded
her body in front of me. She held her arms up over her head to lift
her breasts and shook them in front of my face. Her pussyjuice was
darkening her black panties and the scent of her was driving me crazy.
She could see my cock getting harder, bulging out my pants. Turning,
she began to buck her ass in fucking motions and squeezing her ass
cheeks together I said "I never realized just how beautiful you are".
She seemed a little shy and said "Thats all you get to see"...My eyes
locked with hers and before we knew what was happening she was in my
lap and our mouths joined, tongues lapping each other. Vikki's pussy
was dripping on my crotch, soaking my hard cock through my pants.
"We'd better stop" I croaked, "I have to go to the bathroom". I ran
to the toilet and leaned against the wall. Pulling down my pants, I
grasped my hard cock in my left hand and started jacking off, dreaming
of Vikki. My cock was long and thick and hot in my hand as I stroked
it harder and harder. Cupping my balls in my right hand, I slid my
fist up and down the shaft, stopping at the head to caress it as the
pre-cum lubrication oozed out of me. My eyes were open watching
myself masturbate in the mirror in front of me. God, do I love to
jack off. Leaning onto the sink counter, I held my hand tight around
my cock, and fucked my fist with my hips plunging harder and deeper,
faster and faster. Suddenly, the door opened and Vikki stood still in
front of me, watching my cock slide through my hand....I couldn't stop
masturbating, and the knowledge she was watching made me stroke
harder, moving my hips to face her so she could see more clearly.
Vikki dropped to her knees in front of me, my cock just millimeters
from her face. I jacked off, stroking myself slowly so she could see
exactly how much she turned me on. When her eyes came up to meet mine
the young lust shone from them, her mouth opened up and my cock was
sucked into her. We didn't say a word as she sucked me off but I
pulled her tits from her bra and cupped them in my hands as she drew
my cock deeper and deeper into her mouth, running her tongue over my
cockhead, and sucking the shiny lubrication from me. My cock seemed
to grow in her hot mouth and my balls were bulging with anticipation
of cum shooting down her throat. Sensing my abrupt hip thrusts into
her mouth, Vikki pulled my cock out and starting sliding her tiny hand
up and down my cock, imitating my own masturbation with her tight
little fist wrapped around my huge, red prick. Now I began to fuck my
hips forward harder as she put a hand under my balls and began to
squeeze them in sync with her fucking motions on my cock. The cum
began to blast up from my balls as her pretty fist jacked me off in
front of the mirror. Opening her mouth just in time, my hot cum
jetted out of me in long white ropes, landing on her tongue on the
first big spurt and then falling in strings across her face, down her
tits and over her hand. Time after time I splashed cum on Vikki's
body, until all of it had been drained from me and her hand ceased its
rhythmic fucking of my cock. Licking my cum off her lips with her
tongue, she shyly caught my eye. Our eyes locked again and sweetly I
laid my cock back in her mouth for her to suck out the last of my cum.
Her eyes never left mine as my cockhead rolled against the back of
her throat, her swabbing tongue cleaning my shaft. The sweet warm
sucking action of her young mouth wrapped around my cock slowly got me
hard again. Gently squeezing my balls Vikki lovingly drew my cock into
her mouth to both suck the last of my cum down her throat and also to
feel it harden up as her hot tongue laved the underside of the shaft.
Slipping my hands and fingers through her hair, I pulled her mouth down
over my prick, thrusting and sliding over her young tongue. Forcing
more and more inside her mouth, I looked down and saw her full lips
banging up to the balls. Holding the back of her head tightly even
though she was gagging, I slid my cockhead into the back of her throat,
feeling it slip down the tight softness of her. Probing as far in her
mouth as I could, I savored the sight of the sweet young face that was
sucking me off again while my cum still dripped down her chin. Her
innocent eyes were half-closed, obviously loving the feel and taste of
me inside her mouth. Pulling my hips back, I drew my cock from her
mouth and stood Vikki up. Twisting her around, I bent her over the
sink. Quickly I reached into the cabinet and pulled out several
towels. Dropping behind her, I spread her legs wide, exposing her
young pussy under her thin silk panties, and tied each ankle to the
base of the bathroom cabinet. Protesting, she tried to turn around,
but a few swift hard smacks to her ass soon corrected that attitude.
Grasping Vikki's wrists, I wrapped a towel around each and fastened her
arms out wide to the wall. Stepping back, I gazed at the beautiful
sight of her young body bound and immobile. She was open to my desire,
and my cock was ready to mount her from behind, hot to fuck that little
pussy until she begged for my sperm again. Bending down behind her, I
pulled her panties aside and pushed my face between her cheeks. Her
sweet scent floated up my nostrils, my nose buried inside her crack
sniffing the odor of her most private place. Pushing in, I opened my
mouth and slid my tongue from the bottom of her pussy all the way up to
the top of her asscrack, carefully swabbing her asshole as I went past.
The shudder of pleasure as my tongue stimulated her butthole convulsed
her body. Holding her cheeks apart, I opened her pussy and dived in,
licking the clit with tiny flicks of my tongue tip and then running
inside her, first cleaning one side of her pussy, then the other.
Vikki, moaning slightly, thrust her butt back into my face, encouraging
me to swab deeper inside her young pussy. The juice from her cunt had
completely soaked my beard when I stood up, grasped my hard cock in one
hand, and pushed inside her wide-open cunt, driving my prick balls-deep
in one thrust. Jesus, she felt so hot...so tight and so fuckable.
Pausing as I was completely inside her, I took a few seconds to savor
the sweet pulsations of her pussy as it began to milk my cock. Vikki's
head was thrust forward, and her upper body hung on the bindings tying
her to the towel racks on the wall. I realized I was taking her weight
on my cock--she had actually lifted up and was riding my staff for all
she was worth, practically willing it in deeper and harder. Her legs
were spread-eagled by the towels around her ankles but that didn't stop
her from trying to squat on my cock and take a little more deep inside
her young cunt...Mounting Vikki was a dream come true...here I was, my
cock fully imbedded inside of the teen-ager that lived across the
street. Pulling out of her about 5 inches, I could see her pussy lips
clinging to my shaft, only reluctantly allowing me to escape her. TO BE
CONTINUED... Slowly but rythmically, I stuffed my cock back into her
sweet cunt and dragged it out of her, holding her small hips firmly to
better control her. The bindings did a perfect job of inhibiting her
free movements while at the same time keeping her legs spread wide to
allow me free access to my style of fucking. Slapping her buttocks
hard, I thrust back inside, twisting my cock from side to side, then
sliding all the way in and swishing around. Vikki's pussy was wide
awake now, and voluntarily or involuntarily, she was gripping my cock
like a vise. The grunts from deep down her throat convinced me of her
sincerity, but freeing her from her restraints wasn't going to happen
soon...Close by her asshole was opening and closing with each stroke of
my cock. Reaching over her shoulder, I found the bottle of baby oil I
use to jack off with and opening the flip-top, I pulled out my cock and
the grunts from deep down her throat convinced me of her sincerity,
but freeing her from her restraints wasn't going to happen soon...Close
by her asshole was opening and closing with each stroke of my cock.
Reaching over her shoulder, I found the bottle of baby oil I use to
jack off with and opening the flip-top, I pulled out my cock and
sprayed it with the warm liquid. Reversing the bottle, I put the
nipple down to her asshole. Gently sliding the tip into her butt, I
gave the bottle a healthy squeeze, sending a stream of lubricating oil
deep inside her rectum. The glistening liquid dribbled out of her pink
asshole, running down to her still-open and pulsating pussy. Giving my
cock a few quick strokes with my hand, I laid my prick on the crease
just underneath her asshole. Swabbing the pink hole with the end of my
cock, I gently and conscienciously took my time, watching my cockhead
slowly and carefully sink inside her butt. With infinite care not to
injure her tight ass, my prick pushed in, first the purplish-red head
was half-buried in her, and then the head popped in completely, her red
ring closed so tightly around my cock I had to pause. The pulsations
were wildly constricting her asshole and I thought she might be in too
much pain but upon looking up and seeing her eyes glazed over in the
mirror and her mouth agape in a mask of uncontrolled lust I began to
slowly rock back and forth on my feet. My hard cock would sink in
about a quarter inch on each forward motion and withdraw just a
fraction of that to give her virgin asshole a chance to adjust to the
intrusion. Thank god for that baby oil, for her ass was so tight and
hot something would have given. As it was, the oil was being squeezed
out around my cock and dripping down our joined genitals. Looking down
at my cock fucking in and out of her tight ass was one of the most
exciting sexual experiences of my life. Watching it sink all the way
in took my breath away. The coral ring of her ass was clamped around
my cock like a rubber band, constricting my prick but at the same time
giving me the most fantastic fuck of my life. As I pushed inside, the
walls of her ass evenly gripped my cock. The sensation of being
encased in a band of muscle tightening convulsively and spasmodically
on my cock was then heightened by her squeezing buttocks... Vikki
gasped and sucked air in through her open mouth. "Oh GODDD! YOU'RE
FUCKING MY ASSHOLE! AND IT FEELS...SOOOO GOOOD.!" "Don't worry, Vikki,
I'll be gentle...but I WILL HAVE YOUR ASS!" With this I reached up and
grasped her tits with both hands and bent over her back, driving my
rigid cock as deep into her butt as possible. Now, my regular smooth
strokes began to elicit grunts of pleasure from her when my cock
stretched her asshole. "HUNNHH......HUNNHH...HUNNHH" And at the bottom
of the stroke, my cock buried in her rectum with only my balls
remaining outside of her butt, she would let a low moan slip past her
lips. Vikki's body twisted to try to get away from my probing cock.
Annoyed, I thrust back inside her ass four or five times, fast and
hard. In the mirror, her eyes opened wide in shock at how deeply she
was being buttfucked and she squirmed again. "No...no..please don't
push it in so far!!!". Her lack of obedience made it clear to me that
she would have to be trained to serve...trained to service me when and
how I wanted. Pulling my shiny cock out of her butt, I slapped her ass
several times. "You will learn to be my servant Vikki. You will learn
to dream of the moment when I mount you for this will indicate you have
pleased me. And this....SSSSMMMMMAAACCCCCKKKK!!!...is what you can
expect.....SSSMMMMAAACCCKK!!...if you are not in your natural position
submissive and obedient at all times!" Her reddened and steaming ass
was glowing with marks from my calloused palm and her legs twisted to
free themselves from their bindings but to no avail. Slapping more
precisely now, a tantalizing fingertip slipped between her legs
to...TTHHWWAAAACCCKK...flick on her pubic mound. Like an electric
shock, Vikki's body convuled. Twice more I "allowed" a stray finger to
smack her unprotected and wide-open cunt, getting closer to her clit
each time. She quickly "learned" her lesson for today and said
"Yessss, Yessss SSIIIIRRR!!! I will do whatever you want, when you
want me to do it. I will be your sexual slave, suck your liquids into
my mouth and willingly debase and demean myself in your presence.
Please allow me to service you now!! PPLLLLLEEEEEEEAAASSSE!!!!
Generously, I put my hand to her rosy buttocks and caressed them
lovingly. The heat I brought to life in her ass was spreading through
them to my hand, and reaching onto the countertop, I opened the Johnson
and Johnson Baby Oil again and slowly dripped the shiny substance on
each buttock. With both palms on her now, I rubbed her young asscheeks
with circular motions, gently spreading her butt wider with each stroke
until, her crack open and ready, I re-inserted my cock so sweetly back
where it belonged in her rectum. Sliding in completely in one slow
stroke, she moaned in relief from the stinging pain in her buttocks and
began to readily accept the transition from pain to pleasure through my
rigid cock now stroking faster and faster into her ass. Tears of
deliverance from the Masters displeasure and deep satisfaction from the
act of serving me persuaded her of the inevitability of her own
nature--Vikki was born to serve and now her life would be devoted to
delivering sexual service to me at my whim. Gasping with
acknowledgment of her new role, she thrust her slim butt back to greet
my hard cock on its journey into her...my new convert had been broken
to me, but her spirit remained intact. Punching my cock into her
intestinal canal, my cum began to boil from my balls. Gripping her
hips, I bent my knees and rammed in one last time to the balls, then
began to empty my cum into her asshole. Hot white cum squirted up my
shaft, constricted by her own orgasmic jolts that convulsed her anal
ring. Spraying out of my cock, I could feel her canal squeezing the
length of me, drawing the cum from my cock. Hunching over her back, I
rode her butt, sending jet after jet of sperm into her, into her
asshole, into her most private place that now was only mine to enter
and use. Cum began to be forced back out along my shaft as I pumped
new loads into her. God, I had never cum so much in my life! Throwing
my head back, I screamed as her butt milked me dry. Finally, my
softening cock was popped out of her asshole, but it was still open and
exposed with the combined sperm and oil comingling in a glutenous
substance that dripped sweetly down and out of her ass to drip on the
bathroom floor. Feeling generous, I loosened her bonds. Handing her
one of the towels that proved to be one of the signposts to her new
life, I ordered her to clean up the floor and prepare herself for her
Master. Vikki and I will never be the same again...and she will be
visiting me a lot more often now!
Hey, I have a lot of respect for all you guys who like to eat pussy because there are too few of you out there. And I'm not the only woman who says this. Furthermore, some of you guys who are giving it the old college try are not doing too well, so maybe this little lesson will help you out. When a woman finds a man who gives good head, she's found a treasure she's not going to let go of him too quickly. This is one rare customer and she knows it. She won't even tell her girlfriends about it or that guy will become the most popular man in town. So, remember, most guys can fuck, and those who can usually do it satisfactorily, but the guy who gives good head, he's got it made.
Most women are shy about their bodies. Even if you've got the world's most gorgeous woman in bed with you, she's going to worry about how you like her body. Tell her it's beautiful, tell her which parts you like best, tell her anything, but get her to trust you enough to let you down between her legs. Now stop and look at what you see.
Beautiful, isn't it?
There is nothing that makes a woman more unique than her pussy.
I know. I've seen plenty of them. They come in all different sizes, colors and shapes; some are tucked inside like a little girl's cunnie and some have thick luscious lips that come out to greet you. Some are nested in brushes of fur and others are covered with transparent fuzz. Appreciate your woman's unique qualities and tell her what makes her special. Women are a good deal more verbal than men, especially during love-making. They also respond more to verbal love, which means, the more you talk to her, the easier it will be to get her off. So all the time you're petting and stroking her beautiful pussy, talk to her about it.
Now look at it again.
Gently pull the lips apart and look at her inner lips, even lick them if you want to. Now spread the tops of her pussy up until you can find her clit. Women have clits in all different sizes, just like you guys have different sized cocks. It doesn't mean a thing as far as her capacity for orgasm. All it means is more of her is hidden underneath her foreskin.
Whenever you touch a woman's pussy, make sure your finger is wet. You can lick it or moisten it with juices from inside her. Be sure, by all means, to wet it before you touch her clit because it doesn't have any juices of its own and it's extremely sensitive. Your finger will stick to it if it's dry and that hurts. But you don't want to touch her clit anyway. You have to work up to that. Before she becomes aroused, her clit is too delicate to be handled.
Approach her pussy slowly. Women, even more so than men, love to be teased. The inner part of her thigh is her most tender spot. Lick it, kiss it, make designs on it with the tip of your tongue. Come dangerously close to her pussy, then float away. Make her anticipate it.
Now lick the crease where her leg joins her pussy. Nuzzle your face into her bush. Brush your lips over her slit without pressing down on it to further excite her. After you've done this to the point where your lady is bucking up from her seat and she's straining to get more of you closer to her, then put your lips right on top of her slit.
Kiss her, gently, then harder. Now use your tongue to separate her pussy lips and when she opens up, run your tongue up and down between the layers of pussy flesh. Gently spread her legs more with your hands. Everything you do with a woman you're about to eat must be done gently.
Tongue-fuck her. This feels divine. It also teases the hell out of her because by now she wants some attention given to her clit. Check it out. See if her clit has gotten hard enough to peek out of its covering. If so, lick it. If you can't see it, it might still be waiting for you underneath. So bring your tongue up to the top of her slit and feel for her clit. You may barely experience its presence. But even if you can't feel the tiny pearl, you can make it rise by licking the skin that covers it. Lick hard now and press into her skin.
Gently pull the pussy lips away and flick your tongue against the clit, hood covered or not. Do this quickly. This should cause her legs to shudder. When you sense she's getting up there toward orgasm, make your lips into an O and take the clit into your mouth. Start to suck gently and watch your lady's face for her reaction. If she can handle it, begin to suck harder. If she digs it, suck even harder. Go with her. If she lifts her pelvis into the air with the tension of her rising orgasm, move with her, don't fight her. Hang on, and keep your hot mouth on her clit. Don't let go. That's what she'll be saying too: 'Don't stop. Don't ever stop!'
There's a reason for that - most men stop too soon. Just like with cock sucking, this is something worth learning about and worth learning to do well. I know a man who's a lousy fuck, simply lousy, but he can eat pussy like nobody I know and he never has trouble getting a date. Girls are falling all over him.
But back to your pussy eating session...There's another thing you can do to intensify your woman's pleasure. You can finger-fuck her while she's enjoying your clit-licking talents. Before, during or after. She'll really like it. In addition to the erogenous zones surrounding her clit, a woman has another extremely sensitive area at the roof of her vagina. This is what you rub up against when you're fucking her. Well, since your cock is pretty far away from your mouth, your fingers will have to do the fucking.
Take two fingers. One is too skinny and three is too wide and therefore can't get deep enough. Make sure they're wet so you don't irritate her skin. Slide them inside, slowly at first, then a little faster. Fuck her with them rhythmically. Speed up only when she does. Listen to her breathing.
She'll let you know what to do. If you're sucking her clit and finger-fucking her at the same time, you're giving her far more stimulation than you would be giving her with your cock alone. So you can count on it that she's getting high on this. If there's any doubt, check her out for symptoms. Each woman is unique. You may have one whose nipples get hard when she's excited or only when she's having an orgasm. Your girl might flush red or begin to tremble. Get to know her symptoms and you'll be a more sensitive lover.
When she starts to have an orgasm, for heaven's sakes, don't let go of that clit. Hang in there for the duration. When she starts to come down from the first orgasm, press your tongue along the underside of the clit, leaving your lips covering the top. Move your tongue in and out of her cunt. If your fingers are inside, move them a little too, gently though, things are extremely sensitive just now.
If you play your cards right, you'll get some multiple orgasms this way. A woman stays excited for a full hour after she's had an orgasm. Do you realize the full impact of that information? The potential? One woman was clocked at 56 orgasms at one sitting. Do you know what effect you would have on a woman you gave 56 orgasms to? She'd be yours as long as you wanted her.
The last advice I have for you is this: After you've made her come, made her your slave by giving her the best head she's ever had, don't leave her alone just yet. Talk to her, stroke her body, caress her breasts. Keep making love to her quietly until she's come all the way down. A man can get off and go to sleep in the same breath and feel no remorse, no sense of loss. But a woman by nature requires some sensitivity from her lover in those first few moments after sex.
Oral sex can be the most exciting sexual experiences you can have. But it's what you make it. Take your time, practice often, pay attention to your lover's signals, and most of all, enjoy yourself.
The G-Spot
This does exist. And in over half of the women out there, it works better than anything else you can do to cause a strong, prolonged orgasm. The original name is the Grafenberg spot, after a doctor, Earnest Grafenberg, who documented the area (which may have been known by people here and there throughout history) in the fifties.
This "spot" is a small "mound" of tissue inside the vagina, between a penny and quarter in size, which responds to being pressed upon. It's almost certainly not the skenes glands, (which are located around the urethra, which is behind the G-spot area), as has been suggested by a few people. In fact, the G-Spot is the tissue in that raised area of the vagina, which has a higher concentration of sexual nerves, and produces hormones similar to those made by the male's prostate gland.
A sort of map to the area -- Imagine your lover lying on her back, legs spread. Your position is between her legs. You would slide a finger inside her vagina, palm up. With your finger straight back, middle finger is best, you would curve it toward yourself, gently, as if you were gesturing to someone to "come here". In doing so, the area you press on should be pretty near her "G-Spot" area. If you know enough to follow the urethra (the tube that leads from the bladder to where the pee comes out), along the inside of her vagina, you may feel a slight swelling (if she's excited) at the point where the g-spot is.
She must be excited, especially if either you or she is new to the g-spot, for the g-spot to have any real effect at all. It's not the ideal area for getting your lover aroused.
But when she is excited, this area (more often than not) is the best way to bring her to orgasm. You work your way back to it gradually, teasing her (typically, this works best) with your fingers, slowly and gently. It's easier to hit the right area with two fingers, but this may not be comfortable for her, depending on how "tight" she is at that moment. When you have your fingers around the right area, try gently pressing, not too quickly. The movement should be fairly rhythmic. It's typically best if you're licking her clitoris (or near it, depending on the woman) at the same time...don't make a big deal out of the "quest", this will often make her feel self-conscious, or distracted. The licking should seem to be the primary activity.
When you find the right area, she should respond by getting more excited. Most of the vagina's inside surface isn't really that sexually sensitive, believe it or not...most of the excitement of randomly inserting fingers is more psychological than from the actual stimulation.
While more complicated techniques work with some women, some of the time, the best basic technique, upon finding the g-spot, is to continue to slowly, rhythmically press on it, while licking her clitoris (for a few women, the labia (lips) are sensitive to licking, too).
This should cause her to build up to an orgasm.
A G-Spot orgasm is different (always, when it works at all) than any other kind women have. It is possible, with some women, to have different qualities and kinds of orgasms from vaginal, clitoral, anal, and even breast stimulation...but with other women, those kinds of orgasms are all pretty much the same. But the G-Spot orgasm not only feels different; it also causes her body to react in a different way.
First, it often causes a "push out" orgasm. The area around, or "above" (farther inside, that is) your fingers seems to swell up or to contract toward the opening of her vagina.
If you find the right combination of pushing back when this happens, and slacking off to let it push out, you can cause (in perhaps half of the women) her orgasm to continue happening, long after normal ones would have subsided. In some women you can even keep her at a "plateau" (raised level) of sexual excitement, like a prolonged orgasm (or a little less than one) afterward, building up to an even bigger climax.
That brings me to another important point; G-Spot orgasms sometimes causes a huge amount (relatively speaking) of lubrication (juices, wetness)...far more than even the most excited woman gets from "conventional" stimulation.
When that extra wetness combines with the push-out orgasm, you get actual ejaculation...like a guy, but much better tasting. The built up juices can shoot out in such volume that you, or she, may be afraid that she lost control of her bladder. That is (almost always) not what happened. The fear that she peed can be enhanced by the fact that the urethra is behind the g-spot, so that in rare cases the woman can sometimes get the feeling that she needs to pee, even though she does not.
In reality, in both men and women, enough sexual excitement prevents peeing, unless you try really hard. This is a built-in reflex, because urine is something of a spermicide. The "pee hard-on" that men get in the morning is partially his body taking advantage of this reflex, to keep him from accidentally wetting the bed with the urine that built up while he was sleeping.
Taste
Anyone who likes, say, coffee or beer should have no room to complain about the way most women taste. No, I don't mean it tastes like coffee or beer, genius...I mean that beer and coffee are, at best, acquired tastes...they are not naturally pleasant to a human being, no matter how much your addiction to one or both has convinced you otherwise. Most people, whether they remember it or not, had to learn to like the taste of beer/coffee, and had the desire to be Like the Adults to help them along. Well, I'd list taking pleasure in cunnilingus above drinking addictive beverages on the list of things that prove maturity. Aside from that, there's the fact that many people who give it an honest try genuinely enjoy the taste/smell.
"WIPO"-style? So you mean you've drowned yourself in your own semen? Lool.
-- J^raxis
i must say, yes, i enjoy drowning in my own semen. a nice bath filled with my manjuice.
as the mighty never once said "manlovely."
that is all, sir j^raxis.
# @ DALnet
zac
*splat*
Aauuuuuugggggghhhh you interrupted me!! I just blew my load all over the ceiling and the carpet. Dammit. Clean it up, boy.
*slowly licks it up*
you must drink a lot of orange juice, eh?
# @ DALnet
zac
Why, yes. You know, I should log out or something or I'm going to eventually forget to hit [x] Post Anonymously. That would be most annoying.
Penis for you: 8===========D
Slashdot seems to have something against long penises. Called mine a "junk characters."
-- J^raxis
you don't get wood? get off /. *NOW*
we all know that's a fake representation
assuming each = is about a cenetimeter long, of course, that's quite the unfair representation
10cm? drastically overestimated
# @ DALnet
zac
ok yah fuk offf or i hak u now :]
lewl
ok shutup MR FUCK!
everyone pls join #riptail
JOIN MY CHANAL
op op op op :>>>>>
plz 2 op me!!!1
i tell jraxis
piss off ya troll
:)))))
oh wait, i'm trolling
your mom: (_._)
me: 8=============D
your mom after me: (_O_)
thx 2 ur ma 4 dis goat se mo ment
# @ DALnet
zac
Yo, God here. I gotta say, LAN parties totally suck. As a matter of fact, Lucifer made them up. And while I was screwing Sophia between satin sheets, that devil was playing "Wack a mole" and "counter strike" with hundreds of other smelly, poorly hygeniated angels. Well needless to say I booted 'em down to your world.
Earth is Hell
Your trolling is no match for my "Mad Arab Newbie" speak. Back off, foul troll, or I shall penis you most vigourously! You shan't like it!
this troll thread has degraded
fuck off and die in a pit of riptail and el
ass wipe
# @ DALnet
zac
I call death upon this thread. You, sir, are a Nazi. I invoke Godwin's Law!! I WIN.
- hi
# @ DALnet zacPublic Nudity is illegal!
omg wtf r u think en i h8 u j6raxis becuz u r teh suxor and i kik u cuz u r suxor
oh oh guess what oh oh kickban oh you feel that oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh kickban oh yeah bitch kickban oh oh oh oh oh oh oh oh.
# @ DALnet
zac
Whoah there, boy. Get that dick out of your mouth and try to post a little more coherently. If we're going to try to kill Slashdot, let's be coherent about it, mmkay?
Loool.
(J'raxis.)
wat u kal mi ``boy'' (see the LUNIX quoting? that's skills, baby. skills.)
i paxor ur mom
lolz pwned
# @ DALnet
zac
You packeted no one, you impotent little pischer. And stop trying to talk like a God-damned "Lunix" kiddie. Here, I shall "lool" at you in the windows-1256 charset just to show my complete, abject hatred of you:
áææææá. áæææææææá.
(J'raxis.)
is a faggot
Azzin.