Slashdot Mirror
Amazon Releases 1-Click Patent Sequel
theodp writes "Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos is seeking a patent for coordinating the delivery of a gift. The invention was bundled with the 1-Click claims in this 1998 EPO filing, but its USPTO filing was allowed to lapse. Amazon refiled with the USPTO in July, 2002--a few months after settling the BN 1-Click lawsuit." Update: 12/13 05:35 GMT by T : Ben Silverman writes "Please note that Shel Kaphan is no longer the CTO of Amazon.com and has not been with the company for over three years. I apologize for any inconvience this has caused Mr. Kaphan and to readers for the error. Mr. Kaphan pointed out my error in an email this evening." (Kaphan is identified as CTO in the linked NY Post story.)
Oh shit--Amazon just patented Christmas.
Does that mean that Santa is going to have to pay royalties this year?
Um.... I thought Santa or at the very least the Grinch would be prior art on this.
Ted
Fantasy remains a human right; we make in our measure and in our derivative mode... -- JRR Tolkien
They should patent how to never make money and stay in business. That's their big secret...
Amazon files patent on reading books while taking a dump.
...We knew you really wanted that "Amazonity Report" DVD, so we just charged your credit card and it's on its way.
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<body>Please wait while we decide whether or not you want to purchase this item.</body>
Patently Ridiculous
Patented 1-click Technology Versus Public-Doman 1-finger Technology
Wh47 d1d j00 541, 31337 15n't t3h r0xor5 ne m0r3???
It's a good thing that the 3 Wise Men didn't phone ahead to maker sure Jesus was gonna be home, because I'm sure Bezos wouldn't have accepted his royalty payments in frankincence and myrrh.
I guess that's why they were Wise Men.
12 partisan judges
11 lobbiests bribing
10 lawyers lying (IANAL)
9 slashdotted websites
8 "innovations"
7 corrupt senators
6 media magnates
5 bankruptcies
4 corrupt CEOs
3 anti-privacy laws
2 monopolies
and a patent on a pear tree
But I left the address form blank, so they can't reach me!!! Har, har, har!
oh wait...
doh! -smacks hand on forehead-
The best way to send Amazon packing is to buy from them. Especially when they offer free shipping. Have they had a profit yet? ( true profit) Exactly. I get cheap CDs and books, they get a little deeper in the hole.
>
> (emphasis mine) Now I don't know about them, but all those years of college physics taught me that unless the wavelength is altered, "invisible" light cannot become "visible," and focusing light doesn't alter its wavelength. Therefore, this patent is impossible to implement, and therefore a waste of cash and ink.
Naw. Infrared light, such as that produced from a CO2 laser, is invisible to the human eye.
So you use a 10W CO2 laser. Believe me, you'll get plenty of light wherever the beam intersects with an opaque surface, and while I'm not convinced that "fascinated" is the right word to use, I can guarantee you that any cats in the vicinity will move very quickly.
(Note: If your cat moves towards the light, you'll need to get a new cat. But think of it as Darwin's way of telling you that you probably needed a new cat anyways.)
The U.S. Patent and Trademark Office website will now offer their online shopping cart through amazon.com.
"It's a wonderful development," said the USPTO spokesperson, "we sell all our related law, patent, and trademark texts online. This invaluable partnership will allow our customers to order any of our texts with only 1-click(tm) on amazon.com. And, coming soon, our customers will even be able to send these out as gifts and get their products when their delivery address is not complete! Really, it's an amazing technology!"
Others speculate that USPTO will start out as one of the zShops on amazon.com and move up to the partnership level when their orders reach an adequate number.
Meanwhile, several consumer unions, groups of hackers, mostly terrorists, are crying foul. They allege the patent system in the U.S. has been abused and needs review. These outlaws are somehow trying to link this story with the old and outdated argument that USPTO is too loose on how they grant patents.
In that discussion in a televised interview few years back, Jeff Bezos, the CEO of Amazon, while agreeing that USPTO should be reviewed was seen winking his eye to a patent officer in the audience. The intent from Jeff Bezos was apparently to calm down and feed to the hacker crowd that is known to frequently visit slashdot.org website, now under heavy surveillance from both FBI and the Office of Homeland Security.
you know how amazon has a "if you like this you should also buy..." thing? I was checking on a book earlier this week and that part of the web page read:
Customers who wear clothes also shop for:
Clean Underwear from Amazon's Target Store
Ladybug Rain Boots from Amazon's Nordstrom Store
Arm Warmers from Amazon's Urban Outfitters Store
Cheetah Print Slippers from Amazon's Old Navy Store
?????
Customers who wear clothes? as opposed to? And "Clean Underwear"? I'll pass, but do you have any soiled teenage cheerleader panties? wtf?
7. ?
8. Profit
GreyPoopon
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Why is it I can write insightful comments but can't come up with a clever signature?