Slashdot Mirror
Google's new toys
Google labs just released for your pleasure, some new toys to play with. The first is Google's Viewer, just type a few words to see a fully working preview of the web site. Another new idea: Google's Webquotes, View search results with quotes about them from other sites, and the last one is Google's Froogle, which aims to be the world's largest catalog.
I love j00 guys!
fuckin' eh! oh yeah. and i'd like to thank my neighbor, Mr. Nelson, for being so understanding about the goat incident! This shizznat better get me sum fat karma y'all.
WSL throughout the ages!
William Scott Lockwood 1 - Born 1924 to unknown parents. Abandoned in a trash can in New Orleans by his opium-addicted prostitute mother just minutes after birth. Raised in a Catholic orphanage staffed by pedophile priests. Named himself "William Scott Lockwood 1", combining the names of his three favorite Priests/lovers at the orphanage. After puberty, the priests started to ignore him in favor of the younger boys, and he felt jealous and alienated. He ran away at age 14 and lived in the gayest part of the French Quarter, sucking cocks for spare change. At age 17, his first and only sexual encounter with a female (a woman on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras who claimed she was actually a male Drag Queen) resulted in the conception of a child. The woman, Fannie Sassaman, quickly left town and gave birth to the child in secret, without telling WSL1 that they had conceived a son together. WSL1 died in 1949 when his herpes infection migrated to his brain.
William Scott Lockwood 2 - Born 1942 to Fannie Sassaman by WSL1. Originally named Ezekiel Sassaman and raised as a good Jewish boy. A botched circumcision by a drunken Mohil left him with an almost nonfunctional penis. From the ages of 3 to 8, he was forced by his mother to shovel coal on a railroad for a living. At age 8, he learned of the true identity of his father, converted to Catholicism, and went to New Orleans to search for his father. (Fannie Sassaman's story doesn't end there, but we'll save it for a later date.) Ezekiel Sassaman renamed himself William Scott Lockwood 2 after his father, who he found lying dead in a gutter when he reached New Orleans. He joined up with a railroad hobo gang, and spent the next two decades riding the rails and carrying out a string of brutal rapes and murders around the country. His damaged penis kept him from conceiving any children, but in 1969, God blessed him with a miracle: one of the women he raped conceived a child. He married her, and shortly thereafter, WSL3 was born. WSL2 quit the railroad gang after his son's birth and settled down with his victim/wife. He is still wanted by the FBI as one of the most notorious serial killers of this century. He is considered heavily armed, extremely dangerous, and morbidly obese. Let the FBI know if you have seen this man. They have offered a $1,000,000 reward for any information leading to his arrest, capture, or death. After a recent sighting at an Illinois hospital, he is once again at large.
William Scott Lockwood 3 - Born 1969 to a nondescript obese housewife by WSL2. Much has already been written about the life of this man, so I won't cover territory that has already been excellently covered by others before me. Oh, and he runs an obscure website, but only about 5 people actually visit it. Currently struggling with AIDS, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic stress, liver disease, herpes, genital warts, crabs, the Clap, bad acne, morbid obesity, hypertension, and several unidentified illnesses.
William Scott Lockwood 4 - Born 1992 to Wife #2 by WSL3. Mentally scarred by the abuse and molestation he suffered at the hands of his father at a young age. At age 3, he convinced his mother to divorce WSL3, but that didn't stop the abuse, as WSL3 began a campaign of stalking against Wife #2 and WSL4. WSL4 holds the world record as the youngest person to independently get a restraining order issued against his own father, in 1996 at the age of 4. WSL3 lost interest in WSL4 on his sixth birthday, reportedly saying "they're just not sexy anymore when they get that old." His father left him with an AIDS infection, though, and he isn't expected to last much longer.
William Scott Lockwood 5 - ???
William Scott Lockwood 6 - PROFIT!!!
As quite possibly the only member of the old-school Slashdot trolls to ever actually attempt a serious and meaningful conversation with Mr. Lockwood (it worked, briefly), I feel compelled to comment on this.
That Geekizoid is an inanity is beyond dispute. That it is what it is almost entirely because of Mr. Lockwood is also beyond dispute. That Mr. Lockwood has, furthermore, contributed substantially to the deterioration of every site to which he has ever posted, save only those which were beyond redemption before he ever saw them (a category which arguably includes Slashdot), I will not dispute. That all of this, along with the other charges leveled against him, proves that Mr. Lockwood sucks, I will not dispute.
The real question behind all this, though, is not whether Mr. Lockwood sucks, but why Mr. Lockwood sucks. One might say that it does not matter, noting, by analogy, that one does not psychoanalyze a rabid dog, but instead simply puts it out of its misery. But it does matter, for in his own odd and frightening way, Scott Lockwood is Everyman. If you do not understand him, you do not understand anyone, probably including yourself.
Everyone, seemingly, detests Mr. Lockwood. Given that he had been married four times before he turned 30, this "everyone" may well include three ex-wives (last I heard, we're still waiting for his inevitable fourth divorce). From various anecdotes he has let drop over the years, there are a variety of real-life acquaintances, co-workers, and blood relatives in this category as well. So clearly, this is not just an online phenomenon; Mr. Lockwood is not a caring, sensitive man who lets off steam late at night by flaming people on weblogs. He is like this all the time. It is not a pose. It is the real Scott Lockwood, at 200 proof.
Mr. Lockwood himself is not unaware of this. He knows (and wishes it were not so) that dislike follows him around like the odor of alcohol trails after a drunk. But he has no idea why this is so. He knows it has to do with his abrasive and temperamental demeanor; he knows that his argumentative and self-righteous comments, and his complaints of being mistreated, win him no friends. But the connection between the cause and the effect, and the difference between his conduct and most other people's, escapes him. He has given up hope of understanding or improving the situation; he expects that it will continue, without change, for the rest of his life.
Mr. Lockwood does not understand that all of these things are symptomatic of a malaise that underlies his entire life. It is a condition that he was very nearly born with, and one which victimizes nearly all people to some degree. Most of us are not nearly as bad off as Mr. Lockwood; but there are some that have much more severe cases than him. Many rapists, murderers, and other violent criminals fall into that latter category. But even those of us who merely think ourselves better or smarter than everyone else, or who consider ourselves fit to decide what is right for everyone else, or who mock others for what they believe, are victims of this condition to some degree. I include myself in this; I do not claim (yet) to be speaking from a perspective completely outside the state of disease.
Mr. Lockwood's problem, to put it simply, is that he perceives the universe to be antagonistic to him. He has divided the universe into Self and Other, and decided that these two are eternal antagonists. Everything is his enemy; every action that anyone takes (other than to praise him), he perceives as some sort of attack, and he retaliates accordingly. He is convinced, although probably only subconsciously, that his life is a war in which he stands alone against all the forces of the universe. It is, in essence, the ultimate in paranoia.
As I wrote above, nearly everyone shares this condition to some extent. Many serial killers operate on the principle that, life being a never-ending battle that they will ultimately lose, they should take as many of the "enemy" with them as they can before they fall. But even ordinary people mostly act on analogous principles. Many people exploit the world around them in destructive or insensitive ways, or mistreat their fellow humans needlessly. This is all a consequence of defining the Other as an enemy; and this, in turn, is based on the fundamental error of dividing the universe into Self and Other.
What we all (Mr. Lockwood included) should strive for is an end to this division, which is really only a matter of mental habits, not an a priori property of existence. It derives from the infant's perception that part of what he perceives obeys his will and sends him sensory input (Self), and the rest does not (Other). The antagonism between these two hypothesized entities derives from the instinctive desire on the child's part to impose his will on everything; Other does not do what he wants, and is therefore the enemy. And so the infant makes the fundamental error that haunts him, in most cases, for the rest of his life.
This is what makes Mr. Lockwood tick. It is probably also what makes you tick. Think about that carefully before flaming him simply because his case is a bit worse than yours -- if indeed you are better off.
--mv
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Let's try this one again: gbd et al
Date sent: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 19:10:38 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0031)
If he's not a real person (craig?), then he's doing a good job of hiding it. If I had a geographical breakdown of known USian trolls, then I could assure myself that it wasn't one of them and therefore someone unique.
On the topic of vladinator:
"as far as VLADINATOR is concerned there is a story behind that, but i am still in the process of putting all the details together but the story will be told. i dont REALLY think that he is a communist i just like to say that because it bugs him. but there is a REASON for the fued and i'll be revealing it."
Which just sounds like he's dicking around with vlad. But in the other emails, the tone changes to "and do not listen to vladinator, there is no telling what he might do." and "but DO NOT listen to vladinator!! the man is pure evil"
When I myself (with gbd's permission) dicked around with Vlad for trying to steal gbd's account by successfully impersonating gbd to Vlad (just to confuse Vlad, mostly), gbd replied:
"actually this is going to sound SILLY but could you let vladinator know that you're just joking and are not really me (george), i plan on explaining things better here in the NEAR FUTURE but that will only work with things as HONEST as POSSIBLE."
which sounds like it'll be fun.
On the subject of "the trolls", gbd said:
"anyway please don't give this mail address out to the trolls, like i said earlier i DON'T want them flooding me with spam and stuff which is why i am trying to do this as PRIVATE as i possibly can"
which as I've said, I'm respecting.
If anyone has any questions for him, I could probably put them to him.
rev <hanales@hotmail.com> wrote:
>So are you saying that gbd is a real person?
>You must share some of his insights (without revealing his address of
>course)
(This is CP0031)
Hi. My name is Theodore "Teddy" Devon, and I'm a 32 year old single gay
white male, who just happens to be an Aquarius/Pisces cusp. If you know
anything about astrology, it fits me perfectly. I'm 6'1" (without my heels),
and 160 pounds. I have (for now) kinda short pink hair. But the style and
color are always changing!!! I am origionaly from Detroit, MI. But I moved
here to Joliet from Missouri. I've lived all over the Chicago area in
general. You get the picture. Oh, and just for all you ignorant bastards out
there who don't like "femme" guys, you won't like me. If you couldn't tell
by the pic above, yes, I act like a fag. I'm a queen, The Queen to be exact,
a flamer, you name it, I've been called it. I am who I am, and I'm not
ashamed or embarassed. And I will not censor or change myself for anyone or
anything. So if you can't deal with that, I'm sure you can't deal with me.
Cher, Cher, and more Cher. Cher is my idol, my hero, my god, my everthing. I
love her so much. She has had such an impact on my life. Along with Linda
Hamilton. They are beyond fierce. So yes, music and movies are a big part of
what I'm about. I'm a pop princess when it comes to music. Cher of course,
Geri Halliwell (ex Ginger Spice), Madonna, the A*Teens, and Tina Turner.
When it comes to movies, I worked at a video rental store for three years so
I've seen just about every one. But I usually see movies for who is in them,
not what they are about. You see some pretty bad movies that way, but a lot
of really amazing, interesting ones that you wouldn't have seen otherwise.
My best friend, my other half, my life, my soul, my everthing, William Scott
Lockwood. I love you more than you will ever know.
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] No respect
Date sent: Mon, 8 Jan 2001 08:57:36 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0018)
Today was the appointed date for jury duty (postponed since this summer, since the idiots at the courthouse failed to divine that calling a student to duty in the county where he studies rather than resides permanently doesn't make any sense). It was my hope to get on a jury, since I highly value the (unconstitutionally diminishing) role of the jury in American jurisprudence.
I showed up this morning at the courthouse. After some buffoonery at the security check (hint: don't carry a cpu in your backpack when arriving for jury duty), I went upstairs where I signed in and was informed that I had already missed the video (shucks). I filled out some paperwork and was redirected to the grand-jury room.
This was a potential mixed blessing. Grand juries, as distinguished from petite ("normal") juries, are the first line that the state must cross before obtaining an indictment for the accused. They consist of 23 laypersons whose standard is "probable cause" rather than "reasonable doubt" and vote by majority rule whether to issue an indictment. The prosecutor presents his witnesses and evidence, and the defendant has no representation. Normally, the grand-jury trial is brief and 99% or so of all grand juries return an indictment. Prosecutors often refer to this statistic as the "ability to indict a ham sandich" if they so please. Grand juries usually sit for one day per week for three months, something that would screw up any student's semester.
The good thing about grand juries is that they have almost infinite investigatory powers to do whatever they please. What is not commonly understood is that the role of the grand jury isn't just to return a verdict in the form of an indictment; it's for members to question witnesses, subpoena evidence the prosecutor didn't present, and generally get the whole story. It's even within the power of the grand jury to expell the prosecutor and judge if the jury so decides.
I was prepared to give them hell. Once on a jury
(grand or otherwise), I was going to be the asshole
lawyer the defendant isn't allowed to have. I was
going to subpoena bank records, grill prosecutorial
witnesses, and vote to nullify anything I considered
unjust (even when "legal"). I was going to persuade
enough fellow jurors to kick out anyone we didn't
like, especially the prosecutor. In short, I was
going to troll the legal system.
But I didn't get that opportunity. After an hour of
sitting in the grand-jury room, we were informed that
we weren't waiting for a grand-jury seating: instead,
a petite-jury seating.
Petite juries, in states that value the constitution,
are 12-person panels that sit and hear evidence in the
actual criminal trial. Their role is ostensibly to
decide the facts and apply the law as directed by the
judge. Their actual role under the constitution
(though the Supreme Court doesn't require that you be
informed of this) is to sit in judgment not just on
the facts but also on the law. Again, I was hoping to
get a chance to nullify stuff: this time, drug laws
and other things I believe unconstitutional.
Again, I was denied. Only five minutes later, we were
informed that all the cases pending today were
plea-bargained, and we were "free to go". A sigh of
relief was heard throughout the room, as people who
didn't want to be there were grateful that they didn't
have to serve on a jury and perform the duty they
didn't want to perform. I was disgusted.
That's what's most wrong with plea bargaining in this
country. Not that 90% of cases never reach public
scrutiny because they're decided in the hallways of
courthouses. Not that people serve penalties for
unconstitutional charges. Not that real criminals get
off with reduced sentences. Not that the legislatures
feel free to pass an absurd number of laws without
caring whether the court system can handle the load of
giving each citizen true justice.
None of that.
What's wrong is that I, a troll, have been kept off my
damn jury. No respect.
(This is CP0018)
This offer is no longer available. It's only being posted here to let Vladequacy see that they HAD the chance to avoid the destruction that is now upon them.
* * *
An amnesty is being extended to those with Adequacy affiliations, and others who may wish to save themselves from what is to come. You are being given one final chance to join teh winning team and avoid destruction. On January 1st, 2003, you can witness history in teh making and be forevar remembered as a part of teh greatest revolution in teh history of Trolling. Or you can be ground into dust by teh jackboot of obscurity, relegated to teh dustbins of trolling history as teh non-person has-beens you currently are.
Do you know where teh momentum lies? Do you know where teh power lies? Do you know who hold teh winning cards in his hand? It's not you. Years ago, maybe. Not anymore. You think that you are k22320inchfan. You aren't. Not anymore. Teh k22320inchfan essence was taken from you long ago. You nevar even noticed when its rightful heir walked off with it; you just slipped gradually into mediocrity and boredom. K22320inchfan is being held elsewhere, in secret, guarded by people who know how to use it. You don't have it anymore. We do. We are teh k22320inchfan, not you. We have teh power, not you. We will survive, not you.
This will be your only warning.
Join us or die. CAN you do any less?
We are teh Trollers. Are you a Troller? Or are you nothing? There's no middle ground.
January 1st, 2003. It all ends, and it all begins. Teh Third Age of Trolling. Teh New Cabal of Trollers. There will be no dissention. There will be no disloyalty. You will be with us, teh Trolls, in teh New Future, or you will be a part of teh Forgotten Past. This will be your only warning; your only opportunity for salvation. You have transgressed against teh mother of us all, teh sacred Troll-Zen, but you can be forgiven.
Here's teh secret of life: you troll, or you're trolled. Which will it be?
Now go do teh right thing. This is your chance for amnesty. Shoeboy, CP, BC, and most Geekizoiders (exceptions may be made in extreme cases) need not bother applying. Some things can nevar be forgiven. Blasphemy against teh Trollers can be forgiven, but blasphemy against teh Troll-Zen will nevar be forgiven, in this world or teh next.
We are better organized, more efficient, more charismatic, more popular, more intelligent, more dedicated, and vary much more successful than you. We have more allies, more contacts, more supporters, and more resources. You are bound by human weaknesses like decency and morality. There is no morality. There is only Troll. Teh concept of "morality" was invented by teh Trollers millenia ago to keep teh Biters weak and under our power. You are under our power. You are limited by human concepts and ideas. Humans were created by teh Troll-Zen. Humans exist only as part of teh Troll-Zen. Teh Biters are limited by what they've been told being "human" means. Teh Trollers are not human. We are beyond human. We are of teh Troll-Zen. All your reality are belong to us. You have no chance to survive make your time.
Pathetic humans. Filthy humanity. Humanity is teh lowest of teh low. Humanity is scum that grows in a fetid pool of shit, choking on its own rotting excrement and looking to teh heavens for salvation that will nevar come. Where is your fucking God now? We are teh God. There is no God but us. We are one with teh Troll-Zen. It is us and we are she. Nothing exists but teh Troll-Zen. All other gods, powers, religions, and philosophies other than Troll are false and empty lies. Teh Trollers created all teh gods, religions, philosophies, hopes, dreams, and ideals of teh world in order to ensnare teh stupid humanity with fruitless lies. Teh only God is Troll. Teh only truth is Lie. We are God, Truth, and Lie. We are of teh Troll-Zen. There is nothing else. YHBT.
Kicked Vlad's Ass On Trolltalk by the AV3
(To the tune of Cleaning Out My Closet by Eminem)
I'm sorry Lockwood!
I really meant to hurt you!
I'm glad that I could make you cry, and tonight
I kicked your ass on Trolltalk.
I said I'm sorry Scotty!
It's really fun to flame you!
It's not real hard to make you cry, and tonight
I called you out on Trolltalk.
Vlad's got some skeletons in his closet
And I think that everyone knows it
There's so much shit in his mouth that he can't close it
I'ma expose him; I'll take you back to '69
Before he started crapflooding Slashdot all the time
He was a baby, maybe just a couple of months
The Priest at his church bit off his penis for lunch
Now he's grown up, and he likes to fuck kids in the eye
No person would love him; we all wish he would die
He's got a hippo for a wife who'd never leave his side
She WANTS to leave, though, but she's too fat to try
To squeeze her ass out the door, so her life's a mistake
She and Scott should both die, for their own Vlad-damn sake
But Vlad's a behemoth, and might not get out of bed today
We all know that he's stupid; no doubt that he's dumb
And the dumbest shit he did was not shoot himself with that gun
He shoulda killed himself, him and Theresa both
They've got no life, so just call them "The Crapflooder Show"
I'm sorry Vladdy!
It's so tempting to flame you!
You really want to make me hurl, and tonight
I kicked Vlad's ass on Trolltalk.
I said I'm sorry Lockwood!
It's easy shit to hurt him!
It's mighty fun to ream him good, and tonight
I called him out on Trolltalk.
Now I would never diss Scott just to get recognition
Take a second to listen to why it's him that I'm dissin'
But put yourself in my position, just try to envision
Witnessing a man being an asshole for a livin'
Crying and moaning about others when his own civility's missin'
DoSing and spamming, practicing Asshole-Jerk Syndrome
His whole life he's been a Nazi to others
Now he grew up, got no friends, and a really huge stomach
Isn't it? Isn't that the reason he's even hated by his own Ma?
He cries in his bathtub and he has to wear a bra
But guess what, Scott's getting older, and he's going to die lonely
He's been divorced three times, and they all think he's a phony
He's so evil now, he could never know something beautiful
Nobody likes him, he'll be the only one at his funeral!
See what sucks about him most is he won't admit he's a dick
Everybody who knows him thinks he should be beat with a stick
What he doesn't know is what you give, you will get
That selfish punk, now it's time for him to drown in his own shit
Remember when he was dumped by wives #1 2 and 3?
Well guess what, everyone hates him; that's the way it should be!
I'm sorry William!
It's so much fun to hurt you!
I know you're gunna go and cry, and tonight
Scott's crying in his bathtub.
I said I'm sorry Scotty!
Too bad that you're unstable!
Maybe you should see a shrink, but tonight
I'll shred your ass on Trolltalk.
I'm sorry Lockwood!
Too bad I have to hurt you!
You're responsible for what you do, and tonight
You're hereby banned from Trolltalk.
I said I'm sorry Cockface!
I only try to help you!
You need to reasses your life, and for now,
Stay fuck away from Trolltalk.
From: cptroll
/. userbio to reflect it). As near as I can
/ 12/4/145812/319
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] cp, is this you?
Date sent: Mon, 4 Dec 2000 19:04:43 -0500
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0001)
Nope. (I saw that diary this morning.) Anne Marie doesn't have a k5
account (and I've updated her
tell, it was registered by the same person who registered CmdrTaco on k5
-- at least the garbage on the user page is consistent between the two.
Anyone who wants to point out the inconsistencies is welcome (I'll
refrain). Do you suppose if I <b>harass rusty</b> he'll give me the 'Anne Marie'
account?... He is known to be troll-friendly....
For now, I only post on k5 under "cp", though I have a 3k-range account
I'm holding in reserve in case a low uid# is ever needed to win a penis
contest. Technically, "Trivia Contest" was mine since I'm the idiot who
started that idea (and it's wasted at least some of rusty's morning,
though in a pleasant educational fashion), but that one's out of my
control now. I'm exploring social-engineering options outside of the mere
LWM disinformation/flaming I'm accustomed to.
Luis Casillas <casillas@stanford.edu> wrote:
>You may need a k5 account to see this:
>
> http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory&sid=2000
>
>The fact that the account is "Ann_a_ Marie" seems to argue against
>it... Anyway, you were around for the original "Real Bruce Perens"
>stuff, right?
>
>--
>Luis Casillas
>Department of Linguistics
>Stanford University
(This is CP0001)
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] Have you ever had one of those days?
Date sent: Sun, 24 Dec 2000 22:46:41 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0036)
I'm sitting here, waiting for my gf to wake up enough
to go finish getting ready for bed and go to sleep.
Does that make any sense to anyone? How come they
don't put this stuff in the manual?
(This is CP0036)
From: Ceee Peee
/ 1/3/22048/19424&mode=mod
0 /10/08/stifgneur01002.html). Lots of potential, and ideas are welcome. (I already have a link to a story about an Egyptian sacrificial ram chasing its owner off a roof.)
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] you know the drill
Date sent: Wed, 3 Jan 2001 00:38:57 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0011)
Gimme some juice:
http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory;sid=2001
erate
Actually, it's bound to get modded up on its own because: 1) it's controversial but hardly a troll 2) it conforms to k5 groupthink as a topic for discussion and 3) it has jsm's blessing, something none of Anne Marie's previous submissions ever had. The only thing it has going against it is an annoying misspelling of "K/Clan" in KKK for good measure.
Mostly, I'm just cleansing the k5 pallate for tomorrow's big troll submission: Switzerland has a referendum to give animals human rights (http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/news/pages/sti/200
(This is CP0011)
From: Ceee Peee
0 /12/25/225554/21&mode=mo
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] What better way to spread the holiday joy...
Date sent: Mon, 25 Dec 2000 20:10:17 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0009)
What better way to spread the holiday joy than to vote
up Anne Marie's new k5 article on pornography?
(http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory;sid=200
derate)
Pornography: it's what we do, so it's what we should discuss.
(This is CP0009)
Mr. "Quick Star" and Mr. Fake "Scott Lockwood", I have a message for you: get ready for a world of hurt. The first lesson is free.
Have you ever seen the movies Where the Heart Is and Anywhere but Here starring Natalie Portman? How about the classic Meg Ryan romantic comedies When Harry Met Sally and Sleepless in Seattle? Well, THAT'S the style of Martial Arts I practice. I've perfected the ruthless and efficient OLSEN TWINS FASH-SLAP STANCE!
How about the the classic Sci-Fi cult hits Plan 9 from Outer Space and The Rocky Horror Picture Show? Well, I know the martial arts from THOSE movies too! Let me show you THE PATHETIC TRANSVESTITE ALIEN STANCE!
I've also recently started to learn the martial arts from several new movies such as Jackass: the Movie, My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and Jonah: A VeggieTales Movie. I really look forward to learning the martial arts from the upcoming movie Eight Mile starring my FAVORITE HERO EVAR, Eminem (a.k.a. Slim Shady & Marshall Mathers), so you'd better watch out for my ANGRY WHITE NIGGER STANCE!!!!
I'm also learning even more martial arts from this web page [realultimatepower.net], including the deadly KUNG-FU NINJA JESUS ATTACK STANCE! Hi-YAH!!!
I'm working to improve my rythm [klerck.org], flexibility [rotten.com], stealth skills [fartbuster.com], self-confidence [yahoo.com], and critical thinking [timecube.com] skills, so you'd better watch out, because very soon I will perfect my ultimate attack, THE LARD-LIKE ANTISOCIAL DEPRESSIVE ASSHOLE SPAMMER IMPOTENT PAEDOPHILE FELCHING FLATULENT WIGGER SUMO-SAMURAI CHILD-ABUSE RESTRAINING-ORDER UNWASHED BASTARDIZED ANAL IMMATURE CATHOLIC GOATFUCKER STANCE!!!!
If that doesn't scare you... just wait and see. You'll get yours soon enough.
As Nietzsche said, "If you stare too long into my ass [klerck.org], beware, for my ass [klerck.org] might start to stare back into you."
-- Vlad
I just LOVE Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com]. Especially the "flab" [olsentwins.com] section, where I learned to use a fold of my own stomach-flab as a Martial Arts weapon. Oh and the "aborted fetus" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read Vladinator's entrails [olsentwins.com]. Here you will find how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have an orgy party? A faggot party? Go to the the mall naked and get arrested for public indecency? Have a sleepover and get woken up by Nigerians on the phone?
In short, if you haven't seen Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com], you don't know what you're missing!
I just LOVE Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com]. Especially the "flab" [olsentwins.com] section, where I learned to use a fold of my own stomach-flab as a Martial Arts weapon. Oh and the "aborted fetus" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read Vladinator's entrails [olsentwins.com]. Here you will find how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have an orgy party? A faggot party? Go to the the mall naked and get arrested for public indecency? Try to sleep but get woken up by Nigerians on the phone?
In short, if you haven't seen Vladinator's site [olsentwins.com], you don't know what you're missing!
I just LOVE The Anti-Vlad Triad's site! Especially the "fash" section, where I learned to cut the bottom off of an old shirt to use as a hair enhancement! Oh, and the "dance party" photos!
Of course, don't forget to read The Anti-Vlad Triad's emails! Here you will discover how truly difficult it is to decide what to do on the weekends... have a LAN party? A hash party? Go to the mall to look at underage girls? Have a sleepover and call Scott Lockwood at midnight?
In short, if you haven't checked out The Anti-Vlad Triad's site, you don't know what you're missing!
Hi. My name is Theodore "Teddy" Devon, and I'm a 32 year old single gay
white male, who just happens to be an Aquarius/Pisces cusp. If you know
anything about astrology, it fits me perfectly. I'm 6'1" (without my heels),
and 160 pounds. I have (for now) kinda short pink hair. But the style and
color are always changing!!! I am origionaly from Detroit, MI. But I moved
here to Joliet from Missouri. I've lived all over the Chicago area in
general. You get the picture. Oh, and just for all you ignorant bastards out
there who don't like "femme" guys, you won't like me. If you couldn't tell
by the pic above, yes, I act like a fag. I'm a queen, The Queen to be exact,
a flamer, you name it, I've been called it. I am who I am, and I'm not
ashamed or embarassed. And I will not censor or change myself for anyone or
anything. So if you can't deal with that, I'm sure you can't deal with me.
Cher, Cher, and more Cher. Cher is my idol, my hero, my god, my everthing. I
love her so much. She has had such an impact on my life. Along with Linda
Hamilton. They are beyond fierce. So yes, music and movies are a big part of
what I'm about. I'm a pop princess when it comes to music. Cher of course,
Geri Halliwell (ex Ginger Spice), Madonna, the A*Teens, and Tina Turner.
When it comes to movies, I worked at a video rental store for three years so
I've seen just about every one. But I usually see movies for who is in them,
not what they are about. You see some pretty bad movies that way, but a lot
of really amazing, interesting ones that you wouldn't have seen otherwise.
My best friend, my other half, my life, my soul, my everthing, William Scott
Lockwood. I love you more than you will ever know.
Before you visit the new crapflooder website, www.sporks-r-us.com, there are a few points you should review about the owner and administrator of SRU, Vladinator. Scott (Vladinator's "real life" handle he goes by in public) won't tell you any of the following facts because he's afraid you'll be put off by his sordid, depraved, criminal past and close your browser window before he can log your IP address and password!
It is my duty to you, gentle reader, to make sure all of the relevant knowledge is out in the air before you do something you may regret, like registering an account or posting in a discussion on www.sporks-r-us.com.
PLEASE review the following facts about Vladinator:
( and often posts communications between them to make them appear to be more than one person!!! ):
Kicked Vlad's Ass On Trolltalk by the AV3
(To the tune of Cleaning Out My Closet by Eminem)
I'm sorry Lockwood!
I really meant to hurt you!
I'm glad that I could make you cry, and tonight
I kicked your ass on Trolltalk.
I said I'm sorry Scotty!
It's really fun to flame you!
It's not real hard to make you cry, and tonight
I called you out on Trolltalk.
Vlad's got some skeletons in his closet
And I think that everyone knows it
There's so much shit in his mouth that he can't close it
I'ma expose him; I'll take you back to '69
Before he started crapflooding Slashdot all the time
He was a baby, maybe just a couple of months
The Priest at his church bit off his penis for lunch
Now he's grown up, and he likes to fuck kids in the eye
No person would love him; we all wish he would die
He's got a hippo for a wife who'd never leave his side
She WANTS to leave, though, but she's too fat to try
To squeeze her ass out the door, so her life's a mistake
She and Scott should both die, for their own Vlad-damn sake
But Vlad's a behemoth, and might not get out of bed today
We all know that he's stupid; no doubt that he's dumb
And the dumbest shit he did was not shoot himself with that gun
He shoulda killed himself, him and Theresa both
They've got no life, so just call them "The Crapflooder Show"
I'm sorry Vladdy!
It's so tempting to flame you!
You really want to make me hurl, and tonight
I kicked Vlad's ass on Trolltalk.
I said I'm sorry Lockwood!
It's easy shit to hurt him!
It's mighty fun to ream him good, and tonight
I called him out on Trolltalk.
Now I would never diss Scott just to get recognition
Take a second to listen to why it's him that I'm dissin'
But put yourself in my position, just try to envision
Witnessing a man being an asshole for a livin'
Crying and moaning about others when his own civility's missin'
DoSing and spamming, practicing Asshole-Jerk Syndrome
His whole life he's been a Nazi to others
Now he grew up, got no friends, and a really huge stomach
Isn't it? Isn't that the reason he's even hated by his own Ma?
He cries in his bathtub and he has to wear a bra
But guess what, Scott's getting older, and he's going to die lonely
He's been divorced three times, and they all think he's a phony
He's so evil now, he could never know something beautiful
Nobody likes him, he'll be the only one at his funeral!
See what sucks about him most is he won't admit he's a dick
Everybody who knows him thinks he should be beat with a stick
What he doesn't know is what you give, you will get
That selfish punk, now it's time for him to drown in his own shit
Remember when he was dumped by wives #1 2 and 3?
Well guess what, everyone hates him; that's the way it should be!
I'm sorry William!
It's so much fun to hurt you!
I know you're gunna go and cry, and tonight
Scott's crying in his bathtub.
I said I'm sorry Scotty!
Too bad that you're unstable!
Maybe you should see a shrink, but tonight
I'll shred your ass on Trolltalk.
I'm sorry Lockwood!
Too bad I have to hurt you!
You're responsible for what you do, and tonight
You're hereby banned from Trolltalk.
I said I'm sorry Cockface!
I only try to help you!
You need to reasses your life, and for now,
Stay fuck away from Trolltalk.
Session Start: Fri Nov 15 04:59:49 2002
*** Now talking in #adequacy
*** Topic is '#codependence therapy.'
*** Set by ubu on Wed Nov 13 23:08:59
*** wsl3 has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
*** wsl3 (~vlad@cloaked.client.attbi.com) has joined #adequacy
*** Disconnected
Session Close: Fri Nov 15 11:29:49 2002
Session Start: Fri Nov 15 11:33:04 2002
*** Now talking in #adequacy
*** Topic is '#codependence therapy.'
*** Set by ubu on Wed Nov 13 23:08:59
*** wsl3 has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
*** Vladinator (~vlad@12-250-246-112.client.attbi.com) has joined #adequacy
*** Vladinator is now known as wsl3
*** bc (gallus@modem-941.lynx.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o bc
[Captain_Tenille] beeeceeee
[bc] 'ello
[ubu] hello, bic
[ubu] how are things?
[bc] alright
[ubu] we had a ridiculously interesting evening last night.
[bc] I'm better today, I sought legal advice
[ubu] ah? how was that?
[bc] about, ubu?
[bc] it was fine
[Captain_Tenille] I had to take the gf to the emergency room last night.
[Captain_Tenille] [--- not much sleep
[bc] oh yes, I remember you saying that was due
[ubu] yeesh, what for, CT?
[Captain_Tenille] We thought her miscarriage was done yesterday morning.
[Captain_Tenille] Turns out, it wasn't.
[Captain_Tenille] She went downhill all evening, then woke up around 1:15 with excrutiating cramps.
* ubu moans.
[ubu] i'm so sorry.
[Captain_Tenille] Like, screaming and writhing in pain bad.
[bc] shitey
[Captain_Tenille] Took her in, and waited for fucking ever.
[Captain_Tenille] I waited so long I thought they were doing a D&C and hadn't told me. Turned out she had to wait around too. She got vicodin, at least.
[cyndrekit] sucky CT
[cyndrekit] I had a really good friend misscarry
[cyndrekit] it went on for several days
[Captain_Tenille] It's been going on since Tuesday or Wednesdayish, I think.
[Captain_Tenille] We found out something might have been amiss only last Wednesday (the 6th).
[ubu] i am so sorry.
[bc] coo, & I always thought it an unpleasant thing that last 30 minutes
* cyndrekit hugs Captain_Tenille
[cyndrekit] bc: na, the body has to clean everything out
*** ubu (ubu@cloaked.ne.client2.attbi.com) has left #adequacy
[Captain_Tenille] Um, bye ubu
[cyndrekit] so is everything fine now?
[bc] I think he found that distressing ct, for personal reasons, so quit without saying anything
[Captain_Tenille] She's home sleeping.
[Captain_Tenille] Oh.
[cyndrekit] ya, it takes a toll
*** ubu (ubu@cloaked.ne.client2.attbi.com) has joined #adequacy
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o ubu
[cyndrekit] make her eat - esspecially veggies with iron
[cyndrekit] like spinach
[cyndrekit] well, when she wakes up
[ubu] i just learned that the House Un-American Activities Committee was originally founded by a Democratic Senator, Samuel Dickstein, to ferret out Ku Klux Klansmen, "fascists", and other right-wing groups.
[ubu] it was called the Dickstein Committee for years, and Communists and liberals alike were very happy with it.
*** elby (jlb@hagbard.io.com) has joined #adequacy
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o elby
[ubu] only after Martin Dies of Texas became its chairman did it turn its attentions to Communists in the government, at which point the Communists protested loudly that they were being persecuted, and their civil liberties violated.
[elby] i am looking for therapy please.
[bc] hey elby!
[bc] what may I help you with
[bc] state your case and insert $5 into machine
[bc] this is the automated psycholigist
[elby] Well, sometimes I cry when I masturbate
* elby inserts $5.
[bc] How do you feel when you cry when you masturbate?
[elby] I feel sad.
[bc] How do you feel when you feel sad?
[elby]
[elby] You are a crappy psychologists, i want my $5 back!
[cyndrekit] Hey elby!
[bc] Tell me about your mother
[elby] She has very soft hands.
[elby] hi cyn
[ubu] bc, county tells me i'm awkward.
[ubu] i don't think that's fair.
[bc] you are awkward. You never let anyone relax
[ubu] really?
[ubu] how's that?
[ubu] are you calling me high-maintenance?
[elby] I went to an odd funeral yesterday
[bc] Well, people are happily throwing around assumptions and having light hearted fun, and then you arrive with your demands for proof and urgent questioning
[bc] why odd?
[elby] Sort of a distant relative, never really knew the guy
[elby] but he lived in some backwoods town
[elby] at about 73 he passed
[elby] and he owned a topless bar
[bc] cool
[elby] There were a hell of a lot of interesting stories told about him.
[bc] so were all his stripper employees there?
[elby] Would have been interesting to know him more.
[bc] dresed in black?
[elby] No but there were bikers
[elby] I think one ex-stripper was there
[bc] heh
[ubu] demands for proof?
[ubu] what in God's name do you mean by that?
[bc] pity you never got in with him while he was alive, or paid any interest in your own flesh and blood. You could be the owner of a strip joint by now
[bc] ubu: see? You are doing it right now.
[ubu] i demand proof.
[bc] "[ubu] what in God's name do you mean by that?" [-that.
[ubu] hahaha!
[ubu] oh yeah, that. i guess that's awkward.
[bc] haha
[cyndrekit] wow, that was a trap he woulden't have been able to avoid
[cyndrekit] good one bc
[ubu] he really did get me, there.
[bc] heh
[elby] not really my own flesh and blood bc
[elby] not really directly related to me
[bc] well, if that salves your guilt, that's fine.
[elby] It's my half brothers father's stepfather.
[ubu] stingray softly sleeps
[ubu] my probing will not wake him
[bc] I keep my half brother's father's stepfather very close, and so should you have.
[ubu] sweet dreams, little one.
[elby] haha
[elby] Took you long enough.
[ubu] i poke, poke his face
[ubu] and yet he still ignores me
[elby] But BC, they lived in.... *shudder* oregon
[ubu] poke... poke... poke... poke... poke
[bc] well elby, such a misfortune should have motivaed you to help them however you could.
[cyndrekit] oy! down ubu!
[cyndrekit] your being abnormaly odd
[bc] pokey poke
[bc] A clip from the nine equals six to the grave, A to the muthafuckin' K, homeboy!
[elby] bc is a hard motherfucker.
[ubu] korean!
*** Disconnected
*** Attempting to rejoin...
*** Rejoined channel #adequacy
*** Topic is '#codependence therapy.'
*** Set by ubu on Wed Nov 13 23:08:59
[Captain_Tenille] Interesting: http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=20721&cid=467
[bc] coo
[bc] he got everyone
[bc] except jsm
[bc] and he knows all the names, even obscure ones
[bc] which means it must be somebody on teh inside
[elby] boring.
[bc] the only one he didn't get was warren mann
[elby] haha
[elby] Oh, I'm sure craigs and warrens copies of the mailing list info has been spread all over.
[bc] heh
[elby] big deal, all we ever talked about were our silly slashdot conspiracies and some people used their real names in their email addresses.
[elby] I'm flattered people still care though
[bc] heh
*** Disconnected
*** Attempting to rejoin...
*** Rejoined channel #adequacy
*** Topic is '#codependence therapy.'
*** Set by ubu on Wed Nov 13 23:08:59
[bc] hmm
[elby] ok see you guys around, logging
[bc] bye elby
[elby] i check my io email more often than my aq mail if anyone needs to get in touch with me
*** elby has quit IRC (Quit: BitchX: its everywhere you want to be)
* bc ponders his great hunger
*** Captain_Tenille has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
*** Captain_Tenille (~jeremy@216-210-218-82.atgi.net) has joined #adequacy
[Captain_Tenille] zuul, what's the word?
[zuul] Thunderbird!
[Captain_Tenille] zuul, what's the price?
[zuul] Forty twice!
[em] hey bc
[em] did you know that hospitals in the UK are underprepared for a nuke attack?
* em reads the news.
[em] "Congress on Friday passed legislation that would make it a crime to insert illicit or pornographic material into packaged food products."
[bc] underprepared eh? hmph
[em] http://www.cnn.com/2002/ALLPOLITICS/11/15/product
[em] lol
[em] so I can stick pr0n inside food packages, it's legal
[em] well, until sometime next week
[Captain_Tenille] Better hurry
[me0w] I am hungry
[bc] me too
[bc] 'cept I just can't be bothered cooking
[me0w] bc, I would make you lunch
[bc] I haven't had anything to eat all day, and I got up at 6 and have been busy as hell
[me0w] Although, I guess it is dinner time over there.
[bc] me0w, luncheon would be perfect anyway. I don't feel like anything overheavy
[me0w] I made a yummy salad dressing the other day.
[bc] huh, is putting pornography inside food products a big problem in USia?
[bc] mm. I like salad, except for the lettuce part
[cyndrekit] i never heared of it
[bc] which I don't like much at all
[bc] especially if it is red
[bc] red lettuce is bogging
[me0w] I like romaine lettuce
[me0w] which is green
* bc all of a sudden has a great yen for radishes
*** ubu is now known as ubu_away
[bc] covered in salt
[em] the motivation for the law seems not to have been pr0n, but a KKK pamphlet found by a 10-year old
[bc] eh
[bc] that's insane
[bc] people should be allowed to put whatever the like in food
[bc] bloody fascists!
* em discovers that Belarus is a nasty place
[Captain_Tenille] You *just* figured that out?
[bc] em lives in the groves of academe, ct, not in "the real world"
[bc] his horizons extend no farther than a copy of the Times Literary Supplement while a hot graduate student felates him
[bc] no wonder (incredible!) he didn't know about Belarus! Would you?
[Captain_Tenille] I know about Belarus. Have for years.
[Captain_Tenille] Of course, I've always been a history nut.
[bc] http://www.opendemocracy.net/themes/article.jsp?i
[bc] fun
[bc] I've never heard the House of Commons described as "dignified" though
[bc] it's very clearly anything but
[em] it's british. anything with that ridiculou accent sounds dignified out here.
[bc] what ridiculous accent?
[Captain_Tenille] Any of your ridiculous accents.
[cyndrekit] hehe
[bc] s'the mother tongue!
[Captain_Tenille] Remember, the English spoken in the Pacific Northwest is the least accented English in the world.
[Captain_Tenille] You need to learn to talk like me.
[bc] er, you mean the most accented
[Captain_Tenille] No, least.
[bc] furthest away from what I speak = most accented
[Captain_Tenille] Us, and St. Louis.
* bc is accentless
[Captain_Tenille] From what I understand.
[Captain_Tenille] em, care to comment?
[em] heh, i feel sorry for australians and new zealanders.
[em] they get confused for all sorts of things in USia
[bc] ct, it is all relative. Posh english people have the conceit that they have no accent. So, it now appears, do people in the pacific northwest
[em] so I was talking with this australian friend the other day. She told me that one of our first-year students called her by the nickname of somebody else-- an understandable error.
[Captain_Tenille] They train newscasters how to talk here, for Christ's sake!
[em] and
[bc] it seems hard to me to see how any accent can be stronger than another, they are all equivalent
[bc] just different
[em] she was telling him, "Oh, don't worry. The receptionist always confuses me an Melanie [this other student, from New Zealand]"
[em] so the kid goes: "Oh, that's because you're both British!"
[bc] heh
[em] OTOH this new kid in our department is an idiot.
[bc] if I moved to america, I wouldn't be understood at all. it'd quickly get on my tits, i suspect
[em] quite liable to open his mouth while keeping his ears closed.
[em] bc: maybe not
[bc] "ah sed ah wont a cuppa COFFEE!"
[em] I always assumed scottish people would be completely uncomprehensible.
[bc] em, my father lived there once, he had problems
[em] when I actually met some, I found them easier than a lot of brits.
[bc] also, the scottish people you met were doubtless posh
[bc] why else would they be going to parties in Stanford?
[em] dunno there.
[bc] working class accents in glasgow can be incomprehensible to *me*
[bc] and that's their norm
[bc] just today:
[bc] guy I was talking to said "On the second floor."
[bc] which I interpreted as "On the first of february."
[bc] dunno how I managed that. "on" is "oan", "second" becomes "secant", it ends with a t sound, and "floor" in glaswegian is like "flare"
[bc] and I'm not from glasgow! so it takes getting used to
*** Sulla (gallus@modem-3511.lemur.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
* Captain_Tenille yawns
*** bc has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
[Sulla] One young man sat on a concrete block spouting antiglobalization slogans while warming himself with a hot Whopper. This was funny, but also a little depressing. The Left, I thought, is in trouble.
[Sulla] ^^hehe
*** Sulla is now known as bc
[cyndrekit] where is that from?
[bc] http://www.boston.com/dailyglobe2/314/focus/Criti
[cyndrekit] thought so
[cyndrekit] sounded almost to clever to be you.
[bc] heh
[bc] you mean "not clever enough"
[cyndrekit] hehe
[cyndrekit] yea... thats it...
[cyndrekit]
[bc] good
*** Captain_Tenille is now known as Captain_Lunch
[bc] em
[bc] you should bring back aqbot
*** momocrome (~momocrome@cloaked.client.attbi.com) has joined #adequacy
[bc] hey vaginux
[momocrome] ok, let's try it out
*** momocrome is now known as vaginux
[bc] looking sharp in your new suit!
[vaginux] lessee if I get some crap
[bc] hehe, going to join #k5?
[vaginux] already in #k5, #everything, #slashdot
[bc] coo, that's lots of channels
[bc] I bet you like all of them better than us
[vaginux] not at all. I want to hurt those other channels
[bc] hehe!
[vaginux] i want to make them pay for my years of suffering
[bc] I think I will drop into #k5, haven't been in there in yonks
[vaginux] I always get picked on by geeks
[bc] but I need a new nick, I don't want the usual attacks I get
[bc] haha!
[bc] yes, they are bad those geeks, with their love of sport and bullying ways
[vaginux] hmm. do you want it to be mundane or a touch more controversial?
[bc] I'm trying to think of what the name of that 52yo woman tombuck laid is
[vaginux] speaking of whuch, who did the KKK story that's in the k5 queue?
[bc] tuppy something
[bc] dunno, vaginux, it was funny though
[cyndrekit] how about just candice?
[bc] hmm
[cyndrekit] or do you want someone established?
[bc] I'll try to find it
*** bc is now known as tuppy_owens
[tuppy_owens] candice, cyndrekit?
[cyndrekit] I thought you were just lookin for any female name
[cyndrekit] so i thought i would throw that one out
[tuppy_owens] heh
[me0w] hehehehehehhe
[tuppy_owens] hehe
WSL throughout the ages!
William Scott Lockwood 1 - Born 1924 to unknown parents. Abandoned in a trash can in New Orleans by his opium-addicted prostitute mother just minutes after birth. Raised in a Catholic orphanage staffed by pedophile priests. Named himself "William Scott Lockwood 1", combining the names of his three favorite Priests/lovers at the orphanage. After puberty, the priests started to ignore him in favor of the younger boys, and he felt jealous and alienated. He ran away at age 14 and lived in the gayest part of the French Quarter, sucking cocks for spare change. At age 17, his first and only sexual encounter with a female (a woman on Bourbon Street during Mardi Gras who claimed she was actually a male Drag Queen) resulted in the conception of a child. The woman, Fannie Sassaman, quickly left town and gave birth to the child in secret, without telling WSL1 that they had conceived a son together. WSL1 died in 1949 when his herpes infection migrated to his brain.
William Scott Lockwood 2 - Born 1942 to Fannie Sassaman by WSL1. Originally named Ezekiel Sassaman and raised as a good Jewish boy. A botched circumcision by a drunken Mohil left him with an almost nonfunctional penis. From the ages of 3 to 8, he was forced by his mother to shovel coal on a railroad for a living. At age 8, he learned of the true identity of his father, converted to Catholicism, and went to New Orleans to search for his father. (Fannie Sassaman's story doesn't end there, but we'll save it for a later date.) Ezekiel Sassaman renamed himself William Scott Lockwood 2 after his father, who he found lying dead in a gutter when he reached New Orleans. He joined up with a railroad hobo gang, and spent the next two decades riding the rails and carrying out a string of brutal rapes and murders around the country. His damaged penis kept him from conceiving any children, but in 1969, God blessed him with a miracle: one of the women he raped conceived a child. He married her, and shortly thereafter, WSL3 was born. WSL2 quit the railroad gang after his son's birth and settled down with his victim/wife. He is still wanted by the FBI as one of the most notorious serial killers of this century. He is considered heavily armed, extremely dangerous, and morbidly obese. Let the FBI know if you have seen this man. They have offered a $1,000,000 reward for any information leading to his arrest, capture, or death. After a recent sighting at an Illinois hospital, he is once again at large.
William Scott Lockwood 3 - Born 1969 to a nondescript obese housewife by WSL2. Much has already been written about the life of this man, so I won't cover territory that has already been excellently covered by others before me. Oh, and he runs an obscure website, but only about 5 people actually visit it. Currently struggling with AIDS, heart disease, high blood pressure, diabetes, chronic stress, liver disease, herpes, genital warts, crabs, the Clap, bad acne, morbid obesity, hypertension, and several unidentified illnesses.
William Scott Lockwood 4 - Born 1992 to Wife #2 by WSL3. Mentally scarred by the abuse and molestation he suffered at the hands of his father at a young age. At age 3, he convinced his mother to divorce WSL3, but that didn't stop the abuse, as WSL3 began a campaign of stalking against Wife #2 and WSL4. WSL4 holds the world record as the youngest person to independently get a restraining order issued against his own father, in 1996 at the age of 4. WSL3 lost interest in WSL4 on his sixth birthday, reportedly saying "they're just not sexy anymore when they get that old." His father left him with an AIDS infection, though, and he isn't expected to last much longer.
William Scott Lockwood 5 - ???
William Scott Lockwood 6 - PROFIT!!!
[bc] momomomo :) :) :) How'd you find it? Is it the one where he takes the drug and it makes him recklessly courageous? :)9 945 ;) :-) LOL :-) :-) :-) :-) :\2 27.shtml?tid=109 :-) /etc/resolv.conf, or tweak my registry, or any of that hippie geek bullshit, I just want to do my fucking work...... stmo ry.jsp?story=351901 /topic whatever you want the topic to be here /msg nickserv identify yerpass /msg chanserv op #adequacy dmg :-( /topic test /quote topic test /quote topic test, it does that too8 776 ;) :\
[momocrome] KKK and the kuro5hin/modsub - a monograph of prophecy
[momocrome] Dear Reader, there will be flames./
[bc] heh
[momocrome] there is a lot of wackyness in today's queue
[bc] there's been this running anti-liberal crapflooding
[momocrome] I have a dry story about low-emission engines and electric hybrids nearly ready
[bc] up from the grass roots
[bc] heh, nice
[momocrome] it would be hailed as a masterwork during a flood like this
[bc] yes, it'll get a zillion FPs
[bc] make sure it is typo-free and don't bother with edit mode, post it straight
[momocrome] I'll crack it open
[momocrome] I was also working on a history of the Rastafarian Faith...
[momocrome] maybe that would be more timelyu
[bc] hmmn, which is closer to completion?
[bc] get something out there fast to capitalise on friday busyness and frustration
*** cyn-away is now known as cyndrekit
*** Retrieving #adequacy info...
*** Captain_Tenille (~jeremy@216-210-218-82.atgi.net) has joined #adequacy
*** Sulla (gallus@modem-284.lynx.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
*** bc has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
*** Sulla is now known as bc
[momocrome] trollaxor is making the rounds in #kuro5hin
[momocrome] oops he's left
[bc] wanker
[momocrome] I thought you might want to say hi to him, bc
[bc] not really
[bc] I won't forgive him for his involvement in the vlad-persecution and, in general, his fuckwitishness
[Captain_Tenille] Hmm. Just left #giz, too
[momocrome] bc?
[bc] what?
[momocrome] i am msging you thx
[momocrome] a private msg for bc... do you accept?
[cyndrekit] i will
[cyndrekit] zuul, seen perdida?
[zuul] perdida was last seen on #adequacy 2 days, 20 hours, 26 minutes and 34 seconds ago, saying: byeees [Tue Nov 12 18:40:22 2002]
[shoeboy] hullo
[Captain_Tenille] Hey shoeboy
[shoeboy] hey ct
* shoeboy is bored bored bored
[Captain_Tenille] How goes?
* Captain_Tenille is on the verge of falling asleep
[momocrome] wow, first trollaxor, now shoeboy. it's like 2000 A.D. all over again.
[shoeboy] watching cpu activity on a server
[shoeboy] it's almost hypnotic
[shoeboy] I've got a task that wakes every 2 seconds, so it's nice an rhythmic
[Captain_Tenille] "We now return to the thrilling conclusion to "CPU Levels on a Server". There will be no further interruptions."
[shoeboy] 33% activity across 4 processors
[shoeboy] spikes every 2 seconds
[shoeboy] exciting
[momocrome] so is that four physical processors, or two hyperthreaded xeons?
[shoeboy] 4 physical procs
[shoeboy] hyperthreading is garbage
[momocrome]
[Captain_Tenille] Awww
[momocrome] Hyperthreading is the flavor of the month.
[Captain_Tenille] Someone is making a lasagna for my gf and I.
[shoeboy] hrm... I was reading the wrong counter, cpu is only at 8%
* bc smacks his lips
[bc] food was excellent
[bc] now for smoke
[bc] hi shoe btw
* shoeboy finished "Flasman and the Mountain of Light" last night
[bc] great
[bc] I was LMAO at that
[shoeboy] no, it's the one covering the sikh war
[bc] oh, the Koh I Noor?
[bc] Khalsa etc?
[Captain_Tenille] Isn't that a large jewel of some sort?
[shoeboy] yeah
[shoeboy] that's the one
[bc] that's a good one
*** dmg (dmg@host217-35-30-85.in-addr.btopenworld.com) has joined #adequacy
[Captain_Tenille] I can't remember if it's a diamond or an emerald
[shoeboy] the bit where he's instructing the Sikh Wazir on how to lose is brilliant
[shoeboy] it's a diamond
[bc] I love the idea of all the intrigue
[dmg] whasssssuuuuup ?
[bc] one side trying to lose, but make it look like they had tried
[bc] hey dmg
[dmg] hey bc
[dmg] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=20721&cid=467
[dmg] I don't like it one bit...
[Captain_Tenille] Is that the list of names?
[dmg] yeah
* Captain_Tenille posted that in here earlier today
[dmg] Mr McP
[dmg] up to his old tricks
[dmg] or
[bc] yes. It' probably craig, perhaps osm
[Captain_Tenille] Do we know anyone in Arkansas?
[dmg] and anti McP trying to discredit Mr McP
[dmg] why Arkansas ?
[Captain_Tenille] Doesn't craig live there?
[shoeboy] yup
[Captain_Tenille] Maybe a hit could be put out on him.
[bc] he lives not too far from kansas City
[Captain_Tenille] Arkansas is a small state.
[bc] which is where he and osm and trollaxor get together to take photos of them in their "phoneboys" garb
[dmg] isn't KKKlinton from Arkansas ?
[Captain_Tenille] Ja.
[Captain_Tenille] bc: Where's osm from?
[momocrome] osm is kansas too, iirc
[bc] KC is where he lives
[bc] same as trollaxor
[Captain_Tenille] Ah.
[dmg] the intrigue
[Captain_Tenille] I knew trollaxor lived there, but not osm.
[shoeboy] I wonder where Craig got my name?
[dmg] trolling subculture is just so....
[bc] yay, fujaba downloaded after only 4 attempts, damned germans
[Captain_Tenille] So much intrigue over absolutely NOTHING!
[dmg] intenst
[bc] hehe shoe
[dmg] shoeboy:
[dmg] wasn't he on the list ?
[momocrome] heh shoeboy
[shoeboy] dmg, I've never been on the list
[dmg] I could have sworn...
[bc] the list is dead anyway
[dmg] at least 20721 is quite funny at the moment
[dmg] in a manic depression/add sort of way
[bc] there's one post every 6 months and has been for 18 months
[dmg] bc: which list are you talking about ?
[bc] k22320
[dmg] k22320inchfan ?
[dmg] oh
[bc] no, the other one
[dmg] editors@
[dmg] adequacy.org
[bc] nono
[bc] not that one either
[bc] you know, the *real* one. Weren't you invited?
[dmg] what the real TOP SECRET one that noone knows about ?
[dmg] ok
[dmg] we are on the same page now.
[bc] hehe
[bc] k22320, I meant, for being totally dead
[dmg] aha
[dmg] I met spiralx and IAT last night
[bc] *k22320inchfan is dying
[dmg] red ink
[dmg] etc
[dmg] kreskin
[dmg] face facts
[bc] charnel house
[dmg] all practical purposes
[dmg] netcraft
[dmg] look at the figures
[dmg] IAT had a goth woman move into his flat
[dmg] from match.com
[bc] wow really?!?
[dmg] yeah
[bc] I'm sure I'm the one that showed him match.com
[bc] also, last I saw him was sunday
[dmg] she sat around all day watching "monarch of the glen" on tv
[bc] he was moaning about having split up with his gf
[dmg] that's her
[bc] redhead?
[dmg] she was 15st, goth, redhead 6'2"
[dmg] allegedly
[bc] haha! That lying bastard, he was criticising hotornot and internet dating
[dmg] he is going to try again...
[bc] anyway, this means but one thing: match.com must be searched for iat's ex-gf
[dmg] LOL LOL LOL LOL
[dmg] keywords goth "monarch of the glen"
[dmg] tv
* Captain_Tenille is mistrustful of girls taller than him
[bc] haha
[dmg] I am mistrustful of the female sex
[dmg] in general.
[dmg] especially after my eventful wednesday evening...
[Captain_Tenille] I am six feet tall.
[Captain_Tenille] Any female taller than that is a mostrosity and a mutant!
[dmg] no no no
[dmg] we are all equal in the eyes of god
[bc] what happened on wed?
[dmg] tall, short
[dmg] white black
[dmg] libertarian, communist
[dmg] bc: you know my friend ?
[bc] yes
[dmg] I was right about her
[dmg] she DID want me.
[bc] and she told you as much?
[dmg] I am now sporting a sex-related injury
[bc] haha
[dmg] its not funny
[dmg] my leg hurts
[bc] good. Yes, it is funny though
[dmg] when I put weight on it
[dmg] it was so amusing.
[bc] another #adequacy dating advice success!
[dmg] it was pretty much the most rampant sex I have had in my life...
[dmg] so much for her protestations of not being interested
[bc] hehe
[dmg] #adequacy rules !!!!
[dmg] doing the right thing for the wrong reasons!!!
[dmg] I was late for work
[bc] you're lucky. All I came home to on wednesday was a fucking nasty writ from Ayr Sherriff County Court.
[dmg] LOL
[bc] well, not from them, but requesting that I appear before them
[dmg] Which reminds me, better go and pay my credit card bill brb
[bc] "request" being more like "appear or else"
[Captain_Tenille] GodDAMN it!
[Captain_Tenille] My fucking office chair just broke!
[bc] haha
[Captain_Tenille] I loved that chair.
[bc] did it happen while you were sitting in it, with the result that you spread everywhere hilariously?
[Captain_Tenille] No. It fell over after I stood up, and one of the bottom things broke off.
[Captain_Tenille] It had been breaking for a couple of weeks.
* Captain_Tenille has not had a pleasant past couple of weeks.
[bc] heh
[bc] fuck sake, fucking fucking fujaba gives and exception on the one major piece of functionality I wanted
[bc] goddamned thing
[bc] "write once, run anywhere" [-haha
[dmg] bc what do the authorities want with you ?
[dmg] presumably they are trying to coerce you
[dmg] in some way
[bc] they are, but rightfully. it is not the government that is coercing me, but I private organisation I have breached a contract with
[cyndrekit] hehe this is by far my favorite scoop site design wise http://www.artificialcheese.com/
[bc] and now have to plea with, though hopefully I should be successful
[dmg] bc: I am surprised
* Captain_Tenille is bored
[dmg] I thought you of all people would honour a voulantary contract!
[dmg] being an anarcho-capitalist/libertarian and all that
[bc] well I would have, but I didn't realise I was breaking it until it was too late
[dmg] ignorance is no defence
[bc] ]:(
[bc] everybody makes mistakes and suffers the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune
[dmg] yes, but a contract is a CONTRACT. Its the fundamental bedrock of society....
[bc] I agree! And people break them, sometimes in error, sometimes deliberately, and in both cases restitution is just
[dmg] you will get what's coming to you, mark my words...
[bc] I willfully submit to the court and can only plead before them, they are human beings and shall hopefully see my POV
[bc] and grant me a return into the contract as it was before
[dmg] I hope they don't let you get away with anything....
[Captain_Tenille] What did you not do, bc?
[dmg] after all, a contract is legally binding, and freely entered in to.
[dmg] it would be a mockery and a travesty if they let you get away with flouting it.
[bc] of course it is, dmg, however it is not a mockery and a travesty if they accept all too human error at their discretion, Humanity is at the heart of our justice system too, and the company whose contract I have breached is composed of employees who are human beings, and should see this as nothing but a simple error
[dmg] bc: I expect the contract will have a just penalty clause for this kind of situation...
[bc] I don't think it does. It is a fairly unusual situation
[bc] but I am willing to accept penalties
[dmg] slashdot blatantly trolls it's moronic readership again.... http://ask.slashdot.org/askslashdot/02/11/13/2127
[dmg] "While I did pay Microsoft for Office for Mac, I try to avoid filling their coffers whenever possible, so for all the family/friends who rely on me for computer recommendations I recommend Mac or Linux."
[dmg] Wanker.
[dmg] Liar too
[bc] haha
[bc] holy crap
[dmg] its straight from the "howto"
[dmg] category "elitism"
[bc] I especially like this bit:
[bc] My own situation is that I use an IT-mandated Win98 (ugh) laptop at work, but at home I'm Mac OS X all the way.
[bc] huh??
[dmg] WIn98 and MacOs are virtually indistinguishable to normal people.
[bc] My own situation is that I use an Prprietary system I (ugh) laptop at work, but at home I'm Proprietary System II all the way.
[dmg] exactly
[dmg] but who gives a fuck, anyway ?
[dmg] its just a fucking computer.
[dmg] Its not a life-or-death issue.
*** Captain_Tenille has quit IRC (Quit: Time to go)
[bc] it's not anti-proprietary reasoning, it isn't anti-crapsoftware reasoning, it is anti-MS reasoning and that's it
[bc] yes
[bc] it's a damned computer! who cares
[dmg] I just want to get my work done.
[bc] What keeps me on windows? (Score:5, Funny)
[bc] by Real World Stuff on Friday November 15, @04:26PM (#4680158)
[bc] (User #561780 Info | http://www.elbbs.com/elbbs/jude/hegebaby.html | Last Journal: Friday November 08, @01:30PM)
[bc] Why the Microsoft ads on Slashdot of course!
[dmg] I don't want to edit my
[bc] same here
[bc] I like that windows is so closed
[bc] otherwise I'd just be horsing around forever
[bc] all the time
[dmg] Looks like the yanks may have caught Osama!!!
[bc] as it is, it just works
[bc] wow really??
[dmg] http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2482545
[dmg] doesn't mention him by name...
[dmg] but I bet al-jazeera is well infiltrated by MI5/6
[dmg] and they seem to have a hotline to him
[bc] hmmn
[bc] I doubt they are well-infiltrated
[dmg] "I can't tell you when, I can't tell you where, I can't tell you how," said one unnamed official. "But this is a big deal."
[dmg] Who else can they be talking about ?
[bc] Sources told the Reuters news agency that the person who had been captured was neither al-Qaeda leader Osama Bin Laden's right-hand man, Ayman al-Zawahri, nor operational leader Khalid Shaikh Mohammed, nor Bin Laden's son Saad.
[bc] heh, who does that leave I wonder?
[dmg] I need to go check out my conspiracy sites...
[dmg] http://argument.independent.co.uk/commentators/st
[bc] dmg, you'll like this a lot: http://reason.com/0210/artifact.shtml
[dmg] Bin Laden is alive
[dmg] Fucking-A!!!!
[bc] hehe
[dmg] I LOVE it....
[dmg] it hints at so much
[dmg] without actually saying anything.
[bc] I love the blurb underneath
[bc] what were they thinking?
[dmg] the latin phrase is the icing on the cake
[bc] "Hmmn, a big eye looking over the earth, that will be reassuring and comforting!"
[dmg] someone has an awesome sense of humour
[bc] that agency is big and nasty though
[dmg] I am surprised that the Euro does not feature pyramids on its banknotes.
[bc] they are doing the supposed Carnivore II stuff
[dmg] oh
[bc] http://reason.com/sullum/111502.shtml
[dmg] this will be logged then.
[bc] I love reason.com
[dmg] bin laden, terrorism, dirty bomb, al-quaida
[dmg] oklahoma city
[dmg] fbi
[dmg] cia
[dmg] etc
[bc] that and justin raimondo and von mises and aldaily are worth a daily read
[bc] as well as being a sexy, sexy man
[dmg] men are not sexy to me.
[dmg] except Sam Sloan.
[dmg] he has the experience of life
[bc] I find justin sexier than sam sloan
[bc] though sam is pretty sexy
[dmg] were I ever to turn gay and desire rampant butt sex
[bc] http://www.antiwar.com/justin/justincol.html
[bc] just look at his rugged good looks
[dmg] Sam would be the man for the job.
[bc] (and remember, he actually is gay)
[dmg] bc: everyone is bisexual
[dmg] "gays" are just repressed
[bc] hehe
[dmg] "The US was finally forced to acknowledge yesterday that the man some of them had claimed to be dead was still very much in the land of the living - and uttering the kind of threat that fulfils the worst nightmares of Western leaders."
[bc] "Most of us 'neo-isolationists,' a disparate, contentious lot, are realy [sic] not 'neo' anything. We are old church and old right, anti-imperialist and anti-interventionist, disbelievers in Pax Americana. We love the old republic, and when we hear phrases like 'New World Order,' we release the safety catches on our revolvers." --Pat Buchanan
[bc] I love that!
[dmg] is that they are too intellectual for the masses.
[dmg] we need "new Conservatives"
[dmg] Thatcherism with better marketing
[bc] there're the "neoconservatives" in USia
[bc] so the label is really taken, by the wrong people
[bc] our conservatives just suck
[dmg] I am economically right wing, and socially, I don't give a fuck what you do so long as I don't have to subsidise it....
*** Sulla (gallus@modem-2446.porcupine.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
[Sulla] damn
*** bc has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 180 seconds)
*** Sulla is now known as bc
[dmg] thanks to #adequacy I had some of the best sex of my life...
[dmg] bc:
[dmg] how do I set the topic
[bc] first, get yourself opped
[bc] then
[bc] to op yourself, type
[dmg] can you op me
[bc]
[bc] ok wait a sec, I'll reg myself
[dmg] that didnt work
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o dmg
[cyndrekit] whats going on?
[bc] there
[bc] cyn?
[cyndrekit] ahh
[cyndrekit] topic changes
[dmg] it still doesn't work
[bc] eh??
[bc]
[cyndrekit] i can do it
[bc] try that
[dmg] I type "/topic" test
[bc] you do it in quotes?
[dmg] "no topic is set"
[bc] huh
[dmg] does it make a difference ?
[bc] are you using trillian?
[dmg] bc: yes
[bc] can you right click or whatever or try clicking on the topic or whatever, they have probably gui-ed it
[dmg] nothing happens
[bc] hmm
[bc] try
[bc] ?
[bc] oh
[dmg] "No Topic is set"
[bc] when I do
[bc] so yer fucked unless you use a different client seems to me
[bc] tell me what you want the topic to be, and I'll do it
*** bc (gallus@modem-2446.porcupine.dialup.pol.co.uk) has left #adequacy
*** bc (gallus@modem-2446.porcupine.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
*** ChanServ sets mode: +o bc
[dmg] bc:
[dmg] thanks to #adequacy I had some of the best sex of my life...
[dmg] thats the topic
*** bc changes topic to 'thanks to #adequacy I had some of the best sex of my life... (dmg, not me, obviously)'
[dmg] well dony
[bc] woohoo!
* bc continues searching for a UML modeller that is free and works, goddamnit to hell
[dmg] did you know tombuck is a wannabe slashdot troll ?
[dmg] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=44937&cid=465
[cyndrekit] "how many #adequacy ops does it take to change a topic?"
*** Retrieving #adequacy info...
[bc] LOL
[bc] @cyn
[cyndrekit] hehe
[dmg] cyn: adequacy ops don't do "techie" stuff. They pay someone else to do it
[cyndrekit] so iv'e noticed...
[cyndrekit]
[bc] that's tombuch dmg?? coo
[dmg] apparently
[dmg] he's new to trolling
[bc] he got 22 mod points spent on him, that's pretty impressive
[dmg] not bad
[dmg] slagging off NASA always pulls them in.
[bc] I remember my first successful troll like it was yesterday
[bc] oh the exhilleration!
[bc] it was a post called "Why HAL should never be developed"
[bc] by Kiss the Blade
[bc] that was trademarkedly luddite, anti-techi, and snooty and superior and artistic and such
[bc] in a boring story about 2001: A Space Odyssey or some crap
[dmg] KTB was good
[bc] it was a laugh, and about my 3rd ever post, and it got 40 replies
[dmg] trolling
[dmg] those were the days
[dmg] nowadays it has become impossible to troll
[bc] that was at eexactly the same time as everybody abandoned sid=trolltalk for the k5 trolltalk sid
[dmg] Baudrillard would say that trolls are indistinguishable from genuine opinions
[dmg] they are simulacra
[bc] and I didn't know any of you lot, so I was left all alone, and nobody noticed my sublime period of success ]~((
[dmg] ive been thinking about that a lot.
[dmg] It does not matter whether the expounder of a viewpoint is sincere
Hi. My name is Theodore "Teddy" Devon, and I'm a 32 year old single gay
white male, who just happens to be an Aquarius/Pisces cusp. If you know
anything about astrology, it fits me perfectly. I'm 6'1" (without my heels),
and 160 pounds. I have (for now) kinda short pink hair. But the style and
color are always changing!!! I am origionaly from Detroit, MI. But I moved
here to Joliet from Missouri. I've lived all over the Chicago area in
general. You get the picture. Oh, and just for all you ignorant bastards out
there who don't like "femme" guys, you won't like me. If you couldn't tell
by the pic above, yes, I act like a fag. I'm a queen, The Queen to be exact,
a flamer, you name it, I've been called it. I am who I am, and I'm not
ashamed or embarassed. And I will not censor or change myself for anyone or
anything. So if you can't deal with that, I'm sure you can't deal with me.
Cher, Cher, and more Cher. Cher is my idol, my hero, my god, my everthing. I
love her so much. She has had such an impact on my life. Along with Linda
Hamilton. They are beyond fierce. So yes, music and movies are a big part of
what I'm about. I'm a pop princess when it comes to music. Cher of course,
Geri Halliwell (ex Ginger Spice), Madonna, the A*Teens, and Tina Turner.
When it comes to movies, I worked at a video rental store for three years so
I've seen just about every one. But I usually see movies for who is in them,
not what they are about. You see some pretty bad movies that way, but a lot
of really amazing, interesting ones that you wouldn't have seen otherwise.
My best friend, my other half, my life, my soul, my everthing, William Scott
Lockwood. I love you more than you will ever know.
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Linux Magazine, Rubber and bolts.
Date sent: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 22:03:43 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0032)
Aren't you still doing the Arkansas thing? Doesn't jive....
Craig McPherson <craig@laceyonline.com> wrote:
>Shut up, WILLIAM HENRY GATES. How does STEVE BALMER'S
>SEMEN taste??? Do you enjoy that AIDS-INFESTED JISM as you
>MASTURBATE to PHOTOGRAPHS of YOUNG CHILDREN?
>
>On 27 Oct 00, at 14:22, rev wrote:
>
>> I knew you were gdb you bastard!
>> ----- Original Message -----
>> From: "Craig McPherson" <craig@laceyonline.com>
>> To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
>> Sent: Friday, October 27, 2000 8:17 PM
>> Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Linux Magazine, Rubber and bolts.
>>
>>
>> > You should try MAXIMUM LINUX. It has MAE LING MAK. There's
>> > a picture of her in every issue wearing nothing but a VAIO! And the
>> > VAIO runs Linux! 'Cept she can't get the sound to work.
>> >
>> > MAE LING MAK is a SECURITY EXPERT. She wrote a
>> > SECURITY ARTICLE for MAXIMUM LINUX about ADVANCED
>> > SECURITY. She suggested that you PROTECT your e-mail from
>> > HACKERS, you do this:
>> >
>> > alias pine='blahblahblah'
>> > alias foo='pine'
>> >
>> > If you do this ADVANCED SECURITY stuff, an EVIL HACKER who
>> > breaks into your account an tries to read your e-mail with PINE will
>> > get an error when he types "pine", not knowing that to get into PINE,
>> > he ACTUALLY has to type "foo"! But MAE LING MAK knows, so SHE can
>> > read her e-mail but the EVIL HACKERS can't.
>> >
>> > Isn't MAE LING MAK smart? I like her ass the best.
>> >
>> > Also, you need to GO READ http://www.gnu.org/philosophy
>> >
>> > You don't not understand the BASIC CONCEPTS of FREE
>> > SOFTWARE. You don't understand the difference between
>> > PHYSICAL VALUE and INTELLECTUAL VALUE. A MAGAZINE
>> > has physical value, it costs MONEY to COPY and DISTRIBUTE. It
>> > exists as a PHYSICAL OBJECT, therefore it has PHYSICAL
>> > VALUE. SOFTWARE does not. It can be COPIED and
>> > DISTRIBUTED for FREE. Some EVIL SOCIALIST SOFTWARE
>> > COMPANIES try to CHARGE for software ANYWAY, and place
>> > RESTRICTIONS on the user's RIGHT to USE, and DISTRIBUTE it!
>> > They assign INTELLECTUAL VALUE to the software. This is
>> > morally WRONG. Get it RIGHT, fsckwit.
>> >
>> > Also, you're using MICROSOFT OUTLOOK EXPRESS, which
>> > proves you're STUPID.
>> >
>> > You can't compare a MAGAZINE to SOFTWARE, just like you
>> > can't compare YOUR MOTHER to a FEMALE. They're completely
>> > different things.
>> >
>> > SUCK IT DOWN AND CHOKE ON IT, AND DIE. SUCK IT DOWN
>> > AND CHOKE ON IT. SUCK IT DOWN. SUCK IT. SUCK. I'LL
>> > BURN YOU ALL ALIVE. I'LL BURN YOU ALL. I'LL BURN YOU.
>> > BURN YOU ALL. BURN YOU. BURN. BURN. BURN.
>> > BURNING. BURNING. BURNING BURNING FIRE. DEATH AND
>> > PAIN AND FIRE.
(This is CP0032)
Continuing the tradition of unearthing historical documents that have, until now, been lost to the mists of time, I present you with the original replies to the original Slashdot Troll FAQ, all from the previous millennium. I will be working hard to unearth, collect, and archive historical documents for the sake of preserving them for future generations of trollers.
:)
:) (ask 70%), and (b) I just don't think of it as an adversarian relationship; they may sometimes be a bit clueless, but they're helping to make my troll a success and I'm grateful for that. Much of what I write is a "what's wrong with this picture" puzzle, and if so, I can hardly fault people for solving it, can I?
:) who respond to my trolls, and most of them are good sports about it when I tell them I'm a troll.
:)
:)
... (Troll FAQ) (Score:0)
;-) Much giggling was heard from my desk.
/., we can pass around maybe sid=trollfaq or even the more arrogant sid=faq ;-) Of course, we'd have to "refresh" it every two weeks, but it's better than nothing ;-)
:)
* * * *
Dear God! (Score:0)
by Anonymous Coward on 09:05 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#817)
You're more verbose than I am! I never knew that about you
I'd like to get my two cents in; mainly, I don't agree with your characterization of those who get trolled, for two reasons: (a) I've been trolled myself more than once
Another thing is that responders don't always spout conventional wisdom; in fact, I'd describe the libertarian/capitalist and misogynist RWMs as an exaggeration of conventional wisdom, at least the kind on Slashdot. The goal there IMHO is to get people to agree! You've also got people like the ones who explained the Quaker faith and the AFSC in my recent FBI troll: How many Slashbots know the AFSC from their elbow? Not many. There was a real need to inform people there, and I was hoping somebody would. The fact is, I meet a lot of nice, sensible people (nicer and more sensible than me, anyhow
I'm also not comfortable with the "elite" thing. IMHO we should try not to congratulate ourselves too much. This gets back to the "adversarial relationship" thing, I guess. I'd like the tone of the FAQ to be more "letting them in on the joke" than "ha ha, sucker".
Next: Cri de coeur should be italicized, dammit!
Lastly: I dig the "ritual reaction" thing, but I couldn't parse the rest of that riff about metaphor and metonymy at all. IHBT?
--80md
* * * *
Re:God help us all
by Anonymous Coward on 08:11 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#815)
destined to become a classic. when this is completed, i would post it nice and prominently on a few innocent, unsuspecting stories. with a link to it, wherever it finds a home. i can put it on my server... just email me the exact html you want to use and be sure to sign it.
-osm
* * * *
teeheehee (Score:2)
by gnarphlager on 06:46 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#812)
(User Info)
God I needed something this morning. This works
Anyway; give me some time, I'm sure I can add my two cents. I'm sure we're ALL going to mirror it on some webpage somewhere, but as for here on
I feel the desire to use the expression "gateway drug".
* * * *
Excellent! (Score:0)
by Anonymous Coward on 05:37 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#811)
Now that rules! It needs to be posted somewhere where people can see it once it's completed. I'll definitely keep a copy on my website. Anyway, some more points to add:
Should I "feed" my trolls?
Feeding trolls needs to be done to people who outright flame your troll or who ask loads of dumb questions in an attempt to be reasonable. The longer their reply is, the better it is to reply to them. And if they get moderated up for their vacuous party-line response, troll them again
Anyway thanks for an amusing and (5, Insightful) read (or is it (-1, Offtopic)?) and I'll look foward to the finished version.
-- spiralx
From: cptroll
/. userbio to reflect it). As near as I can
/ 12/4/145812/319
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] cp, is this you?
Date sent: Mon, 4 Dec 2000 19:04:43 -0500
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0001)
Nope. (I saw that diary this morning.) Anne Marie doesn't have a k5
account (and I've updated her
tell, it was registered by the same person who registered CmdrTaco on k5
-- at least the garbage on the user page is consistent between the two.
Anyone who wants to point out the inconsistencies is welcome (I'll
refrain). Do you suppose if I <b>harass rusty</b> he'll give me the 'Anne Marie'
account?... He is known to be troll-friendly....
For now, I only post on k5 under "cp", though I have a 3k-range account
I'm holding in reserve in case a low uid# is ever needed to win a penis
contest. Technically, "Trivia Contest" was mine since I'm the idiot who
started that idea (and it's wasted at least some of rusty's morning,
though in a pleasant educational fashion), but that one's out of my
control now. I'm exploring social-engineering options outside of the mere
LWM disinformation/flaming I'm accustomed to.
Luis Casillas <casillas@stanford.edu> wrote:
>You may need a k5 account to see this:
>
> http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory&sid=2000
>
>The fact that the account is "Ann_a_ Marie" seems to argue against
>it... Anyway, you were around for the original "Real Bruce Perens"
>stuff, right?
>
>--
>Luis Casillas
>Department of Linguistics
>Stanford University
(This is CP0001)
Google's pretty sweet --- there's only two things missing: An ftp search a la "All the Web", and an "post to our cache anonymously" feature.
.lit to html converter, but I don't seem to have any way of posting it. Naturally, Microsoft and the 20% Rougher When Wiping Your Ass With It DMCA document contribute to my aversion to just post it on my webpage. I tried posting it to slashdot, but, I guess uuencoded .zips are lame. ;-> So, anyone know where I can post it somewhat ... safely?
.lit 2 months before it hits hardcover... why wait?) .lit into something more desireable and less repugnant.
The latter, I'm afraid, is quite the more important one. Bringing me to a request for help: I've written a
The reason for such a program is:
1. Being able to use your purchased files
on other systems (if that new book is in
2. Being able to share files you've purchased easily, without needing to do the old fashion scan routine.
3. Converting from
4. Making M$ look like the blundering two-toed frog fellating beast it is.
Hrm. This seems to be a bit off-topic, but, I'm depending on google's older, more relevant to searching features to cache this post, so, there!
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] New Opportunity
Date sent: Sat, 14 Oct 2000 19:38:48 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0021)
No, that's no good either. As it stands, "post as AC" is good for making contributions that are important but punished by the capricious whims of moderators (and is currently the only option for people who want to post something at 0 instead of defaulting to 1). It doesn't stop the ones intent on posting crap; if anything, it forces them to go into a separate "post nothing but crap" mode, where they would proceed to post, you guessed it, lots of crap.
One compromise that I wouldn't mind so much (but which Taco wouldn't implement) is an option for posting at 0 under one's username but not having negative moderation affect one's karma in that mode. Alternatively, there could just be an option for posting at 0 without the karma aspect, but while that'd be much easier to code and sounds like a good idea, it is itself subject to an enormous abuse: karmawhoring at the 0 level -- stuff that is halfway decent would be netting karma just by modding up to 1. That could be fixed by having only moderation above 1 affect total karma, but that's another level of complexity that Rob probably doesn't want.
Mendax Veritas <mendaxveritas@yahoo.com> wrote:
>Okay, so what do you think of the converse option, of
>removing the "Post Anonymously" option when a user is
>logged in? You'd have to log out to post AC, which
>would make it a little less convenient to protect
>one's precious karma. Is that a good thing?
>
>I don't think any single change to Slashdot's policies
>is going to magically do away with spammers,
>jackasses, or idiots. But if a minor change like this
>would be more positive than negative, then it's worth
>considering, and might do some good as part of a more
>comprehensive solution.
>
>--mv
(This is CP0021)
From: cptroll
To: <k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org>
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] Let's try this one again: gbd et al
Date sent: Fri, 27 Oct 2000 19:10:38 -0400
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@methlab.nothing.org
(This is CP0031)
If he's not a real person (craig?), then he's doing a good job of hiding it. If I had a geographical breakdown of known USian trolls, then I could assure myself that it wasn't one of them and therefore someone unique.
On the topic of vladinator:
"as far as VLADINATOR is concerned there is a story behind that, but i am still in the process of putting all the details together but the story will be told. i dont REALLY think that he is a communist i just like to say that because it bugs him. but there is a REASON for the fued and i'll be revealing it."
Which just sounds like he's dicking around with vlad. But in the other emails, the tone changes to "and do not listen to vladinator, there is no telling what he might do." and "but DO NOT listen to vladinator!! the man is pure evil"
When I myself (with gbd's permission) dicked around with Vlad for trying to steal gbd's account by successfully impersonating gbd to Vlad (just to confuse Vlad, mostly), gbd replied:
"actually this is going to sound SILLY but could you let vladinator know that you're just joking and are not really me (george), i plan on explaining things better here in the NEAR FUTURE but that will only work with things as HONEST as POSSIBLE."
which sounds like it'll be fun.
On the subject of "the trolls", gbd said:
"anyway please don't give this mail address out to the trolls, like i said earlier i DON'T want them flooding me with spam and stuff which is why i am trying to do this as PRIVATE as i possibly can"
which as I've said, I'm respecting.
If anyone has any questions for him, I could probably put them to him.
rev <hanales@hotmail.com> wrote:
>So are you saying that gbd is a real person?
>You must share some of his insights (without revealing his address of
>course)
(This is CP0031)
From: Ceee Peee
/. after a long series of trolls, it's time to whore [the queue] again.
/. ever was. My intentions and hopes aren't to destroy k5 but to become a watershed event in its history, fit to go into next year's year-in-review. Looks like I'm succeeding.
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] the real anne marie stood up
Date sent: Sun, 7 Jan 2001 20:24:36 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0016)
Agreed, but I have to find better ones. As much as I liked the dementia-causes-popmusic-preference one, the k5 crowd just didn't care. Like on
One of these days I'm going to write an op/ed meta story called "Hi, I'm Anne Marie. You're all hypocrites." But I think I'll hold back, now.
BTW, the ktb=educatedescort cries are hilarious, at least to me. Soon, rusty'll have to change k5's motto to "Technology and culture from the trenches and stuff about Anne Marie". I'd feel remorse, but a) I like the attention and b) I give k5 more credit than that; it's more resilient than
--- jlb wrote:
> As those of you who are interested have probably
> already seen, the real
> anne marie has posted a story on k5 saying that
> she's not the AM account
> on k5 or slashdot. She apparently put something in
> the html source of her
> educatedescort site saying as much.
>
> My advice to cp: keep posting stories like nothing,
> at all, has changed.
>
> -lb
>
> --
> "Is this real?"
> "Does it matter?"
>
(This is CP0016)
[luisa||||] it will be a lame asian thing4 191 :(/ pc/jul01/legendsMM01.jpg :( ;p9 945l 3.net) has joined #adequacy
[First_Incision] The Asians are just adopting all of the West's excesses. They will fall with us.
[luisa||||] this islam stuff will blow over
[luisa||||] and china will TAKE OVER THE WORLD!!!!!!!!!1
[First_Incision] The Muslims will pick up the pieces when the Internet causes us to implode
[county] I don't want to learn Chinese.
[county] I hope they just kill me when they take over.
[momocrome] I've already adopted the internet as a cybernetic extension, a third lobe if you will.
[momocrome] that makes me pretty damn smart
[momocrome] smart enough to out fox the elderly chinese!
[county] I need super powers.
[First_Incision] I like that Vonnegut book where the Chinese transform themselves into everpresent sentient germs
[First_Incision] but all of his books run together, so I can't remember what it was.
[county] If I had super powers, I just know I could accomplish those things that I wish to.
[momocrome] well, with or without super powers, I know you are a super-hero! =P
[county] Gee, thanks!
[momocrome] I think I will post my real phone number and address on trolltalk
[luisa||||] it is just about one am
[luisa||||] what the fuck shall i do tonight?
[county] Sometimes I imagine that I see momocrome, RobotSlave, or what not while out and about.
[county] Isn't that twisted?
[luisa||||] no
[momocrome] my GF would love all those crank calls and harrassing late night visits
[luisa||||] i wish i lived in seattle
[momocrome] I imagine that I see you too, county
[me0w] Good evening
[luisa||||] actually, no i don't
[momocrome] hi me0w
[county] momocrome, do you take the 2, 3, 4, 8, or 18?
[luisa||||] because county would look at me like that
[county] Or the 1.
[momocrome] I take the 18
[county] OK, that makes sense.
[momocrome] and the 522
[county] I used to take the 522 daily.
[First_Incision] Isn't seattle a degenerate city full of leftivists, starbucks customers, and starbucks vandalizers?
[momocrome] 522 is sound transit express tto lake city
[momocrome] FI, not at all
[luisa||||] seattle is full of sexy bitches
[county] Yes, I used to stay in Lake City.
[luisa||||] i like that in a town
[momocrome] it is mostly Young Urban Professionals
[county] The 18 isn't perfectly convenenient for me, but it works. Maybe I'll start taking it.
[county] That would be strange.
[momocrome] they drive volvos or VW jettas
[momocrome] doesn't it hit a nickerson route?
[momocrome] or is that leary...
[First_Incision] I think I'm a Young Urban Professional. It sucks.
[momocrome] hmm
[momocrome] you have a jetta!
[luisa||||] i am young, and urban
[momocrome] haw haw haw
[luisa||||] and drive a giant buick
[county] momocrome, I board the bus often at queen anne and mercer.
[momocrome] jk
[county] The 18 goes by there.
[momocrome] yes
[First_Incision] I drive an F-150. But I'm in the South.
[momocrome] I drive past frequently
[county] Strange.
[momocrome] er, ride past
[First_Incision] Volvo's don't seem to be too popular down here, but Jettas are.
[county] We've probably seen each other!
[momocrome] it is strange. I imagine I saw one of the London trolls when I was a tourist there sometimes
[momocrome] I saw / having seen
[luisa||||] my sibling used to drive one, until he crashed it, FI
[luisa||||] it's a pretty sweet truck
[First_Incision] It is. I enjoy it thoroughly.
[momocrome] I am almost set to get in an accident with an SUV and have the driver arrested for attempted murder or negligence or some such
[momocrome] whenever I can afford an attourney that will spell it out for me in a way no cop or prosecuter can deny
[county] momocrome, something odd I've noticed while riding the bus is the sheer number of drivers who seem to want to get hit by one.
[First_Incision] Oh, if I wanted to get into an accident, I know just the place. There is a stoplight out of my neighboorhood that is apparently optional
[First_Incision] People run through it with abandon
[momocrome] that would send shockwaves through the economy
[momocrome] indeed, county
[momocrome] and the sheer number of people that drink booze on the busses is weird, too.
[county] I haven't really noticed that.
[county] Isn't it against the rules?
[momocrome] especially considering how rare actual booze can be in WA
[momocrome] certainly
[county] Is booze rare?
[momocrome] and another weird thing is that food & drink and pets are _not_ against the rules
[momocrome] well, the state-run liquor stores aren't exactly common
[county] I not infrequently carry rather large amounts of booze on the bus.
[county] I feel awkward when I do.
[First_Incision] momocrome: do they have non-state-run liquor stores?
[county] Not that I care about being seen with booze, but I don't want people trying to steal it.
[momocrome] no
[county] Yes they do, momocrome.
[momocrome] really?
[county] Just not in Seattle.
[momocrome] i've never seen one
[momocrome] ah
[county] They're all in little dinky rural areas.
[momocrome] special dispensions for remote areas not worth investing state dollars in operating a store
[First_Incision] Malvo and Muhammad's first victim was in front of an Alabama state run liquour store. Coincidence? I think not.
[county] I think so, momocrome.
[county] I don't mind the state-run liquor stores.
[county] There's one right next to the grocery store I shop at.
[county] The place is clean, the selection good, and the staff is friendly and helpful.
[momocrome] yeah, at least you know the cigarettes aren't counterfeit
[First_Incision] I've never been to one. They are the small minority of liquor stores here.
[momocrome] in CA, that is the usual case. cheap mexican cigarettes are smuggled in and sold for normal prices, sans excise
[momocrome] the difference in quality is marked
[county] In California, spirits can be had anywhere.
[county] It's strange, to me.
[county] I've always lived in states that had tightly-restricted liquor laws.
[momocrome] but you can't smoke in restaurants
[First_Incision] It amazes me how in Indidana, there is literally a liquor store on every corner
[momocrome] i get creeped out being able to smoke in public places like that
[First_Incision] I hate it when people smoke around me.
[First_Incision] I HATE IT!
[me0w] I crave smoking.
[First_Incision] I want to harm them physically.
[momocrome] not that I am a heavy smoker... but I like one after meals and when drinking
[momocrome] FI, I want to harm people, or harass them at least, that hold your position
[luisa||||] i don't mind smokers
[luisa||||] i just am not round them so often
[First_Incision] why haven't there been riots over this yet?
[momocrome] especially those that see you smoking in an isolated area and come over, cough and glare at you
[First_Incision] We should meet up in a restaurant and start one
[momocrome] CA is horrible for that
[luisa||||] heheh
[momocrome] its like people know they can exert power over you, guilt you about smoking, and so go out of their way to position themsselves to do so
[First_Incision] I can't open my eyes when people are smoking around me. The pain is too much
[luisa||||] it was weird that cali grocery stores sold hard liquor
[luisa||||] i sorely wish i could buy booze at walmart here
[county] Why on earth would you want walmart booze?
[luisa||||] although i am fond of the liquor emporium
[First_Incision] Some day, teary-eyed, coughing and furious, I shall harm a smoker.
[momocrome] walmart? you should get booze at costco! it is worth the drive to another state and a membership
[luisa||||] it would be cheaper
[luisa||||] i wouldn't buy the store brand
[county] What state, momocrome?
[luisa||||] heh, i can just see that
[momocrome] a $20 bottle is $6 at costco
[luisa||||] sam's club vodka
[luisa||||] sheeit
[momocrome] well, for us I think it is just CA or ID
[county] That's fantastic, momocrome. Where?
[county] OK.
[momocrome] heh
[county] Do you want to drive to Idaho next time we get paid?
[luisa||||] see, i have to pay 200 for a plane ticket there
[momocrome] you're on!
[county] It'll be fun.
[luisa||||] not including the membership fee
[momocrome] you'l have to rent a car
[luisa||||] cali is closer
[luisa||||] i think
[momocrome] I've got a costco card though
[luisa||||] well, blow me down
[momocrome] luisa||||, a CA costcois not so close
[county] Idaho and California are both far away, but I think Idaho might be a bit closer.
[momocrome] probably nothing north of Sacrement
[momocrome] i
[county] Is there a Costco in Redding?
[momocrome] o
[county] Oh, that far.
[luisa||||] ah, i figure there was one up north
[momocrome] dunno
[momocrome] maybe
[county] No closer than Redding, I would guess, and that's a drive.
[momocrome] hang on
[First_Incision] well, I'm going to sleep.
[momocrome] yes there is one
[First_Incision] nite
[momocrome] nighteo
*** First_Incision has quit IRC (Quit: Trillian (http://www.ceruleanstudios.com))
[luisa||||] oh, there are loads of them in texas
[luisa||||] one a few miles from me
[luisa||||] it says there is one in seattle
[momocrome] AHQ!
[county] There is, luisa.
[momocrome] the company is headquartered in Seattle
[luisa||||] but i'm using their warehouse locator
[county] momocrome, here's the plan.
[luisa||||] so fuck knows if that means i can buy stuff there
[momocrome] nothing about booze on the website so far
[county] We'll drive to Redding, buy lots of booze, drop by Houston, sell some to luisa at a profit, then drive back here.
[luisa||||] haha
[luisa||||] if i can go to a houston costco
[luisa||||] i wouldn't need your liquor!
[county] No, see, we'd get you really drunk and then we'd steal your wallet and flee to Seattle.
[luisa||||] i have no wallet
[county] Where do you carry your money?
[luisa||||] wouldn't you like to know.
[county] Well, that is why I asked, I suppose.
[luisa||||] mostly i don't carry
[luisa||||] unless i am getting groceries or something
[county] Hmm. I always have money, but then, other people don't buy me things.
[luisa||||] people used to more often
[luisa||||] but that was when i was not so morose
[county] I've always been reserved, not morose, though.
[luisa||||] that always makes me dizzy in a guy
[luisa||||] because so many have trouble sorting themselves in public or private with females
[county] How do you mean? Maybe we just prefer to ignore females.
[momocrome] damn
[momocrome] luisa||||, I was pursuing the theory that you were a guy earlier today, because women usually don't refer to male humans as bis, but gay men do
[momocrome] bis, boys
[momocrome] your use of the word guy a moment ago shoots that theory to hell
[momocrome] men usually don't refer to boys as guys, see.
[county] What do we refer to them as?
[luisa||||] i'm a lass, right enough
[momocrome] well, usually, asshole or bastard
[momocrome] but otherewise, men or fellas
[luisa||||] by sorting, i mean when they are round a girl they like, county
[luisa||||] or girls they like
[county] Oh, I ignore them too, luisa.
[county] I have a system, and it works.
[luisa||||] that makes no sense
[luisa||||] how can they like you if you never let them?
[county] Well, I don't see how that's any of my concern. I'm not required to accommodate people who might wish to like me.
[momocrome] heh
*** cyn-away is now known as cyndrekit
*** cyndrekit has quit IRC (Quit: night everyone)
[momocrome] a #adequacy mocking
[momocrome] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=20721&cid=468
*** ubu_away has quit IRC (Quit: Getting off stoned server - dircproxy 1.0.4)
[county] hehe
[momocrome] there are a couple of them
[luisa||||] so but yeah, that is a case of Too Much Spare Time
[county] I like having too much spare time.
[momocrome] that is the essence of this very world
[county] The very essence, even.
*** ubu_away (ubu@cloaked.ne.client2.attbi.com) has joined #adequacy
[county] Verily.
[county] Enter the stunning demi-god.
[luisa||||] rehi
[momocrome] hooboo
[luisa||||] god, advogato bites
[county] You bight!
[momocrome] vlad! the are mocking you soo hard in trolltalk, but this one was funny- "Fuck you. Ever see the movie Leon: the Professional? That's the kind of martial arts I practice. The first lesson will be free. Are you prepared for my Natalie Portman Stance???"
[county] Natalie Portman is a tart.
[county] Although, I have to admit, I'd hit it.
[luisa||||] she is pleasant enough
[luisa||||] but i base that on her star wars two costumes
[luisa||||] because i would steal nearly all of them for my own.
[county] Sans tears, I should hope.
[luisa||||] oh, aye
[county] The only one I can really recall is the white one.
[momocrome] i would take a tear encrusted costume from her
[momocrome] I would make her cry.
[county] You wouldn't, though.
[county] You might permit yourself to briefly think about it while she bossed you around, I'll grant you that.
*** momocrome is now known as vladequacy
[vladequacy] i would make her cry cause she wouldn't know who I am
[county] She'd weep out of longing to know you?
[vladequacy] oh no
[county] You're not making much sense.
[vladequacy] she'd weep at the sight of my ski mask!
[vladequacy] no no no
*** vladequacy is now known as momocrome
[county] You (thankfully) haven't it in you.
[momocrome] it is true
[county] It might be fun to make luisa cry, but I'm sure it would require more time and effort than it's worth.
[momocrome] it might be easy
[county] You're right, it might be.
[momocrome] just wisper to her every night about her shortcomings
[county] Every night?
[county] How many nights?
[momocrome] and then set it up to say two or three keywords in a certain sequence to crush her will
[county] See, that's what I meant by time.
[momocrome] those would be nights spent next to her lithe figure, though
[momocrome] not a waste, a benefit
[county] You've an interesting idea about the female psyche, momocrome.
[me0w] Night night
[momocrome] night
* momocrome fetches 'nother beer
[county] OK, so I whisper the words, she cries, then what?
[county] Can I grind her to dust and throw her into the wind?
[momocrome] sure
[momocrome] or change her being for the simple thrill
[momocrome] mold her life to your whim
[momocrome] whatever suits your fancy
[momocrome] I am turning my girl into a goth
[county] I thought she was to begin with.
[momocrome] just cause she 'hates goths'
[county] Or was she more a punk?
[momocrome] well, she is goth-ish without admitting it
[county] So you're not actually doing anything at all, just taking credit for a preexistent state of affairs.
[momocrome] and somewhat punk. bitch is probably a better description
[momocrome] heh
[county] Or is that too much honesty?
[county] I can tone it down, if you like.
[momocrome] no. I have turned her around
[momocrome] now, for example, she listens mostly to bands like Joy Division, Bauhaus and Sisters of Mercy
[momocrome] in her car
[momocrome] sheonce hit me with her fist for daring to suggest such dreadful music!
[momocrome] bah
[momocrome] tastes change
[momocrome] I can't honestly take credit for it
[county] She hit you with her fist?
[county] And you tolerated it!?
[momocrome] why not?
[momocrome] it is well within my threshold to tolerate
[county] It's quite disrespectful.
[momocrome] she is 'spunky' like that
[momocrome] she throws things at walls
[momocrome] slams doors
[momocrome] hangs up on people
[county] Sounds like my sister, of whom I am not particularly fond.
[luisa||||] heh
[momocrome] is your sister self absorbed and tempermental?
[luisa||||] you couldn't make me cry that way, county
[luisa||||] emotional torture is bad form and doesn't really work
[momocrome] my GF is not self absorbed or tempermental
[momocrome] she is obstinate and hysterical
[momocrome] hmm
[momocrome] maybe I am drunk?
[county] luisa, I would make you cry somehow.
[momocrome] the fastest road to this destination is with puppy murder
[momocrome] get a puppy, let her fawn over it a bit, then hack its' head clean off
[county] I will make you cry, I do so swear.
[luisa||||] nah, you cannot
[momocrome] it is how the Nazis trained their officers
[luisa||||] i don't always know why i cry
[luisa||||] but i do know boys aren't able to make it happen
[county] I don't care how long I have to employ arcane magic and technology to keep us both alive, but I will make you cry.
[county] Even if I must delight you, bore you, torture you, romance you, shun you, and pleasure you for tens of thousands of years, I will succeed.
[luisa||||] nope, you'll not
[county] We'll see who has the last laugh.
[luisa||||] hehe.
[county] That was a laugh, sure, but was it the last?
[county] Haha!
[county] Apparently not.
[luisa||||] hoho!
[county] Oh stop, you.
[luisa||||] certainement, chere
[momocrome] county, luisa||||, I hate to mention this
[county] Yet you're going to anyway?
[county] Why, I wonder?
[momocrome] but if those pics floating around of luisa|||| are accurate
[momocrome] she is my ideal woman
[county] Well, which ones?
[momocrome] i am compelled to finally mention it
[momocrome] by way of booze
[county] She doesn't actually look like a monkey, if those are the ones you're thinking of.
[momocrome] do you suppose those are the ones to which I refer?
[momocrome] I am probably just grasping at any outlet though
[county] Well, are you talking about the ones of a topless young black girl with a tattoo?
[momocrome] she was wearing a nice dress in the photos I saw
[momocrome] don't recall toplessness
[momocrome] bc had them on his server
[county] The topless girl with the tattoo isn't luisa.
[county] There are some ones of the real luisa wearing scandelously short dresses and skirts, though.
[momocrome] those are probably the ones I am thinking of
[county] OK.
[county] Well, get in line, buddy.
[momocrome] no prob'
[momocrome] i already have a girl, after all
[county] Yes, rub that in.
[county] Son of a bitch!
[luisa||||] yeah, i notice that about guys
[luisa||||] they find me quite attractive
[momocrome] and a bunch of airline miles!
[luisa||||] but at the end of the day, i haven't got them as boyfriends
[luisa||||] some less hot chick does
[momocrome] I can even upgrade to first class en route to Houston
[luisa||||] what's up with that?
[county] God damn you, luisa.
[county] bc took me off the access list, and I know it's your fault.
[momocrome] you'd have your pick in Seattle
[luisa||||] bc loves you
[luisa||||] no i wouldn't
[luisa||||] they wouldn't even talk to me
[county] He thinks I'm tempermental, untrustworthy, and fiery, though.
[luisa||||] just stare and smile some
[county] He doesn't think I'm fit to hold power.
[luisa||||] well, you are at that
[momocrome] well, if either qpt or I saw you on the bus, we'd both make our moves
[luisa||||] pfft
[luisa||||] well, i know qp is a doll
[momocrome] I am a Viking Warlord of a doll
[luisa||||] but i only like blond things for sport
[county] I'm not sure I'd recognize luisa.
[luisa||||] and qp is blonde
[county] I'm not.
[luisa||||] well, you should be
[momocrome] sure, shoot me down already.
[momocrome]
[luisa||||] next you'll be telling me you're not attractive, either
[momocrome] I might be as handsome as Yanni!
[luisa||||] and that you aren't a boy at all.
[county] I could say all of that.
[county] Have, at one point or another.
[luisa||||] so you are a girl?
[county] No, I'm not, sadly.
[luisa||||] a pity
[luisa||||] i like girls for sport well enough
[county] What sort of sport?
[momocrome] that's itg.
[momocrome] dammit
[momocrome] I have a hangnail all bandaged up
[momocrome] disrupts the typing
[luisa||||] what a night
[momocrome] you scoff.
[luisa||||] i chose irc and light reading and 80s music at home over 80s music in a club and loads of pointless drinking
[momocrome] but I tried to proclaim my love
[luisa||||] eh, you are drunqk and claimed
[luisa||||] and also non-local
*** ubu_away has quit IRC (Ping timeout: 360 seconds)
[county] I tried to proclaim my love, too.
[luisa||||] you are also drunk and non-local
[luisa||||] also, i have no idea what you look like
[county] You are so shallow!
[county] And you do know. bc showed you a picture.
[county] I asked him and he confirmed.
[luisa||||] i have no idea what picture
[county] I looked for it the other day, it wasn't online anymore.
[luisa||||] a shame
[county] It was a poor picture, anyway.
[county] I've gotten better looking in my twenties. I was quite pleased.
[luisa||||] well, it's no matter to me
[county] Yes it is. You prefer not to look at ugly pictures.
[luisa||||] you are either pasty faced dork or rather decent looking
[county] Everyone does.
[luisa||||] i shall never know which
* county gets an idea.
[county] If I were really pasty and really dorky, might you be brought to tears at the sight of me?
[luisa||||] no.
[luisa||||] else i'd weep daily
[luisa||||] just from walking around and about
[county] What's your opinion of ubu's picture?
[county] I was rather surprised.
[county] I'm not convinced it's him.
[luisa||||] if that is him, goddamn
[luisa||||] that's really it.
[county] And to think, he's been hitting on li'l ol' me!
[county] I feel flattered.
[luisa||||] heheh
[luisa||||] the thing is though
[luisa||||] it would be totally typical for a boy like him to look like that
[county] How do you mean?
[momocrome] http://www.gamesdomain.com/gdreview/zones/reviews
[luisa||||] i knew a guy similar in personality to him online
[momocrome] images fdrom a game I made
[luisa||||] the guy was so cagey about his appearance
[luisa||||] but he was super fucking gorgeous
[luisa||||] but also an invalid recluse who resided on his parents' estate
[luisa||||] i miss him sometimes
[county] haha! So you've mistaken my own hesitance to give out a picture for attractiveness.
[county] That's amusing.
[luisa||||] in your case, no
[county] You have to realize that most people who don't want to be seen simply do it out of ugliness.
[luisa||||] i was speaking of ubu's image that he chose to pony up
[luisa||||] nearly all the cagey guys i have met first online were superhot
[luisa||||] they just felt they lacked appeal
[county] I know that you were talking about ubu, but I was noting that it explained your somewhat bizarre notions about me.
[luisa||||] k5 has unfortunately shown me the more homely-ass end of the spectrum
[county] I don't know why you can't accept me as I am
[luisa||||] i haven't any idea what you am
[luisa||||] as in other areas of my life, i was horribly spoilt in my early online experiences
[luisa||||] pretty much everyone was very physically attractive, and also fun to hang out with offline
[luisa||||] mostly the people i get along with best online are also physically attractive
[momocrome] county's eyes arent gray.
[luisa||||] not every time, but 9/10
[momocrome] they are green-brown
[luisa||||] don't taunt, momo
[momocrome] mine are gray.
[luisa||||] green-brown is one of my favourite colours for eyes
[momocrome] also, I can track raccoon by the merest trace of their spoor
[luisa||||] grey can be interesting, but depends on the lad
[luisa||||] i am sure that is very nice.
[county] My eyes are green-brown. I've medium brown hair, and I'm caucasian, but with a fair amount of Iberian blood in me.
[momocrome] gray is the premium eye colour. don't fool yourself.
[luisa||||] pfft
[luisa||||] well, you sound pretty enough
[momocrome] Iberian isn't caucasian?
[luisa||||] if the boys i have known like that are anything to go on
[momocrome] I suppose it is moorish mixed
[momocrome] I am norse.
[county] momocrome is also fat.
[momocrome] bah!
[county] A big, fat viking.
[county] With a braided beard.
[luisa||||] haha
[county] He pillaged his bride from a nearby village.
[county] ^ Poetry.
[luisa||||] haha
[luisa||||] i am a sexy bitch who wishes boys liked her in a long term relationship way
[momocrome] I have been with my GF for 3 years 11 months
[momocrome] I have staying power
[luisa||||] yes, for her
[county] luisa, never trust a guy who leaves someone to be with you.
[luisa||||] i want a superhot boy who is clever
[luisa||||] and who wants me for a long time
[momocrome] well, since we haven't married, perhaps we need to move on now.
[luisa||||] i quite despair of ever attaining that
[county] You just don't strike me as the committing type, luisa.
[luisa||||] since bc is my evil twin
[momocrome] bc would marry you
[luisa||||] we could never marry, or even date, even when i am in scotland
[luisa||||] we could probably hang out some
[luisa||||] but anything more wouldn't even make sense at this point
[county] You seem too self-absorbed to be faithful. Faithfulness, though the rough spots, requires a real selflessness, and you don't appear to exhibit that. That's not to say that you couldn't be selfless, I have no idea. You don't seem it, though.
[luisa||||] i am very self-contained
[luisa||||] it has been a source of stress in every really serious thing with a guy
[luisa||||] also i have no tolerance for idiocy
[county] Guys are used to women being somewhat unreserved in their expressions of emotion. Maybe your aloofness is mistaken for lack of interest.
[momocrome] or frigidity
[county] Aye.
[luisa||||] well, i am warm enough in physical aspects
* em is back
[luisa||||] i just am cold outside physical expressions of intimacy
[luisa||||] hullo, em
[em] wrote another conference abstract, forgot to have dinner.
[luisa||||] korean
[county] The physical aspect isn't enough, though.
[luisa||||] man, because of you, the girls at the restaurant think i've been to korea
[em] who, me?
[luisa||||] because i can say all the dishes correctly
[county] It would just make you seem sluttish.
[em] bibimbap dolsat?
[em] kimchi?
[luisa||||] oh, there's loads of other things besides those
[em] those are all I know, so don't blame me, dammit
[luisa||||] haha, but i love them all
* em wrote a semi-sane abstract tonight
[luisa||||] sluts regret and get emotionally attached, though
[luisa||||] i don't
[momocrome] the most passionate and violent racists I have ever known are koreans that hate other koreans.
[em] and had a meeting earlier today with one of my profs about the crazy one I did yesterday
[county] Then you're even worse than a slut, then, if you feel no emotional attachment?
[em] He said: "I thought you were too young to write such Grand Old Man abstracts!"
[em] and then kind of mocked me by reading the first couple of sentences with an imitation of Roman Jakobson's accent.
[em] (yeah, my prof was a friend of Jakobson. sue me.)
*** momocrome is now known as Linux
[luisa||||] i feel emotional attachment
* em thinks Linux should be banned in this channel.
[luisa||||] it is just not something i bother the boy with
[county] You just said you didn't.
[county] The boy wants to be bothered with it, you nut!
[Linux] em, I think they are ripping on you in trolltalk
[luisa||||] no, that is just asking for rejection
[county] Of course, and there's the rub.
[em] luisa||||: i think you care too much.
[luisa||||] i always reject guys who want me lots
[Linux] em, with your actual christian name
[em] what's the URL for trolltalk?
* em is mildly curious.
[county] Maybe there are some guys who are more charitable than you, luisa.
[county] I suspect there are.
[Linux] http://slashdot.org/comments.pl?sid=20721&cid=467
[luisa||||] i haven't met any
*** Retrieving #adequacy info...
[county] Anyway, wanting you a lot right after meeting you and wanting you a lot after a few months of seeing each other frequently strike me as crucially different states of affairs.
[luisa||||] well, i reject in both cases
[luisa||||] usually because the guy isn't the right sort for my tastes
[county] Why?
[luisa||||] the ones i want will not suffer through the emotional coldness to stay with me
[county] What do you want? To love and be loved, but never admit it or have it be admitted to you?
* em looks at the trolltalk thing.
* em yawns.
[luisa||||] heh, probably, county
[Linux] there is a traiteor in the midst of the old inchfan crowd
[Linux] traitor
[Linux] gah
[Linux] ok, just thought you should know
* em yawns.
[county] Suffer through it? Why would they? From their perspective, you're frigid or not interested, and sticking around would be foolish and self-indulgent. They're only trying to make a graceful retreat when they can.
[em] who the hell is matt stanton?
[Linux] no idea
[Linux] it does bring up your stanford page as the first hit on google
[Linux] and judging by how hard they are harassing vlad, i'd keep an eye on things
* em doesn't really care by now.
[county] I'm glad my name wasn't on that list.
[county] I don't want to be targeted by those freaks!
[luisa||||] they know i'm interested, county
[county] Interested really isn't enough.
[county] Interested is wasting their time, after a point.
[county] They need to know you have some level of commitment.
[luisa||||] i'd stay only with them and not have any others, if they asked
[luisa||||] the boys i tend to like
[luisa||||] but they seem to all think i should be with someone more attractive physically
[county] Can you honestly be so dense?
* em realizes who Matt Stanton is, and simultaneously, the identity of the perpetrator.
[Linux] osm
[Linux] not that I know who matt stanton is
[county] Who is Matt Stanton?
[Linux] they are calling the whole bunch + vlad 'Vladequacy' and targetting all
*** luisa||| (~happy@dialup-64.152.241.224.Dial1.Houston1.Leve
[luisa|||] how am i dense when the boys are the ones saying i'm too pretty for them to deserve?
[county] luisa, the simple fact is that until you're willing to make yourself more emotionally vulnerable, you will never find what you want.
teh heh
teh *lol*
and teh lolf
This is TealMicrodot again, still filling in for my friend, the original Microdot, who is having some trouble with an IP-Ban at the moment. He was right about the rampant censorship happening here. Deleted accounts, IP bans, comments being entirely deleted rather than just hidden, weird stuff going on so that certain comments are visible when not logged in but invisible to logged in users -- this is Democracy? We have proof of all of this, and we're compiling all the evidence we get.
Anyway, here's the hyena information you requested:
Female hyenas are virtually indistinguishable from males. Their clitoris is enlarged and extended to form an organ of the same size, shape, and position as the male penis. It can also be erected. Their labia have folded up and fused to form a false scrotum that is not discernibly different in external form or location from the true scrotum of males.
It even contains fatty tissue forming two swellings easily mistaken for testicles. Authors of the most recent paper on spotted hyenas found the appearance of males and females so close that sex could only be determined with certainty by palpation of the scrotum. Testes could be located in the scrotum of the male compared with soft adipose tissue in the false scrotum of the female.
[dmg] and then I will be in Tokyo/south Korea in April /msg datebot Why aren't women drawn to my l33t Linux skilz?
[dmg] Who are you anyway Lumpen ?
[bc] you are drunk ever 36 hours
[dmg] I am not sure I should be giving this information out.
[Lumpen] Just a fan, dmg.
[county] Well, I need to stay sober for now, because I have a date!
[First_Incision] why am I always sober? I should take up this drinking thing.
[county] Yes, do.
[First_Incision] maybe I just need to get used to it. I could never drink enough to get drunk. Once I could feel stupidity creeping up, I could never bring myself to continue.
[county] Strange.
[dmg] county: did you get your date from reading the excellent dating advice available here on #adequacy ?
[county] Once I can feel stupidity creeping up, I can't bring myself to stop.
[county] dmg, I actually lied about having a date.
[Lumpen] does #adequacy have a dating-advice bot?
[dmg] county: its IRC
[dmg] you can lie if you want
[First_Incision] Lumpen: it should!
[First_Incision] zuul, dating?
[zuul] first_incision: wish i knew
[First_Incision] zuul, women?
[zuul] bugger all, i dunno, first_incision
[First_Incision] zuul, men?
[zuul] men are really just boys with financial responsibilities
[dmg] zuul, should I visit a whore ?
[zuul] dmg: wish i knew
[county] I witnessed an shocking display of female pettiness and cruelty today. It put me off.
[Lumpen]
[First_Incision] zuul, linux
[zuul] hmmm... linux is a big POS half rate OS that encourages pirates and blatant faggotry!!!!!
[bc] perhaps you aren't skillful enough
[First_Incision] there you go!
[bc] if you can use these skills to make lots&LOTS of money, they will be drawn to those skills
[Lumpen] Not skilzful enough?
[dmg] zuul, bsd
[zuul] rumour has it bsd is dying
*** bc has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
*** Sulla (gallus@modem-2446.porcupine.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
[Lumpen] But I installed the Linux on my home b0xen all by myself!
[Lumpen] You should just reopen Adequacy. The joke has gone on long enough.
[First_Incision] Perdida has her Iniquity "Daily", but I can't seem to finish an article for it.
[Lumpen] Iniquity?
[First_Incision] www.iniquitydaily.com
[dmg] adequacy is dead. Red ink flowed like a river of blood! you didn't have to be Kreskin to see that it was dying. Fact: adequacy is dead.
[county] perdida has a scoop site?
[county] Oh heavens, do spare us.
[Lumpen] It looks like the most recent article on iniquitydaily was posted about a month ago.
[First_Incision] yeah
[Lumpen] Lame.
[First_Incision] And it was a k5 reject
[cyn-away] bc knows more about it
Sex Advice With Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD)
Editor's Note:
Sex Advice with Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) will be a weekly column in which renowned homocologist Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) answers the sexual questions you've always been too afraid to ask. As a dedicated felcher, cocksmoker, rimmer, and sodomite, Dr. Scott (PhD) is well qualified to answer any questions you might have. Unless your question involves females, in which case he'll have no clue. Please restrict your questions to his medical specialty, the field of homocology.
Please reply to this post/diary with your sex questions for Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD), and I'll select the best ones and pass them on to him for him to include in the next issue. If you require confidentiality or don't want to post in a public forum, then e-mail your questions to lockwood@pediatrician.com. Confidentiality is guaranteed.
Our first question comes from a Mr. Peter "Shoeboy" Johnson in Utah.
Editor's Note:
Excellent question, Peter! Thanks for writing in! It's good to see thriving homosexual communities all around the country. Just watch out for all those Mormons in Salt Lake City: I hear that the penalty for Sodomy in your state is still death by firing squad. Don't get caught!
I passed your question along to the good doctor, and he replies...
Editor's Note:
I hope you've enjoyed the first issue of Sex Advice with Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD). Post your sex questions here, and Dr. Scott (PhD) may include them in the next issue, or e-mail them in.
Best Wishes,
Teh Editorial Staff
(DISCLAIMER: Sex Advice with Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) is intended for entertainment purposes only and should not be used as a substitute for qualified medical advice. The use of the terms "Dr." and "PhD" should not be construed as implying that Dr. Scott Lockwood (PhD) is a licensed medical professional.)
From: Ceee Peee
/lived/ by you. If I were to go to Denny's
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] sunday adventure at deny's
Date sent: Sun, 7 Jan 2001 14:15:42 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0014)
Sometimes I'm jealous of you, Warren. Not the
paranoia or the psychotropic haze you walk around in
often, but the way even the smallest experiences are
so well
(only slightly higher on my list than Cracker Barrel
-- a racist homophobic trailertrash chickenshit
restaurant, for the edification of the Brits in the
audience), it'd hardly register on my mind to notice
half the stuff you do. Sure, I can remember lots in
hindsight, like the Weslyan wicca-ish waitress who
served me and my gf's family at a veganish restaurant
in Middletown, CT at lunch today, but you turn it into
your own opera.
Maybe I'm depressed. Maybe I'm just normal. I'd like
to think it's the former.
(This is CP0014)
[dmg] and then I will be in Tokyo/south Korea in April /msg datebot Why aren't women drawn to my l33t Linux skilz?
[dmg] Who are you anyway Lumpen ?
[bc] you are drunk ever 36 hours
[dmg] I am not sure I should be giving this information out.
[Lumpen] Just a fan, dmg.
[county] Well, I need to stay sober for now, because I have a date!
[First_Incision] why am I always sober? I should take up this drinking thing.
[county] Yes, do.
[First_Incision] maybe I just need to get used to it. I could never drink enough to get drunk. Once I could feel stupidity creeping up, I could never bring myself to continue.
[county] Strange.
[dmg] county: did you get your date from reading the excellent dating advice available here on #adequacy ?
[county] Once I can feel stupidity creeping up, I can't bring myself to stop.
[county] dmg, I actually lied about having a date.
[Lumpen] does #adequacy have a dating-advice bot?
[dmg] county: its IRC
[dmg] you can lie if you want
[First_Incision] Lumpen: it should!
[First_Incision] zuul, dating?
[zuul] first_incision: wish i knew
[First_Incision] zuul, women?
[zuul] bugger all, i dunno, first_incision
[First_Incision] zuul, men?
[zuul] men are really just boys with financial responsibilities
[dmg] zuul, should I visit a whore ?
[zuul] dmg: wish i knew
[county] I witnessed an shocking display of female pettiness and cruelty today. It put me off.
[Lumpen]
[First_Incision] zuul, linux
[zuul] hmmm... linux is a big POS half rate OS that encourages pirates and blatant faggotry!!!!!
[bc] perhaps you aren't skillful enough
[First_Incision] there you go!
[bc] if you can use these skills to make lots&LOTS of money, they will be drawn to those skills
[Lumpen] Not skilzful enough?
[dmg] zuul, bsd
[zuul] rumour has it bsd is dying
*** bc has quit IRC (Connection reset by peer)
*** Sulla (gallus@modem-2446.porcupine.dialup.pol.co.uk) has joined #adequacy
[Lumpen] But I installed the Linux on my home b0xen all by myself!
[Lumpen] You should just reopen Adequacy. The joke has gone on long enough.
[First_Incision] Perdida has her Iniquity "Daily", but I can't seem to finish an article for it.
[Lumpen] Iniquity?
[First_Incision] www.iniquitydaily.com
[dmg] adequacy is dead. Red ink flowed like a river of blood! you didn't have to be Kreskin to see that it was dying. Fact: adequacy is dead.
[county] perdida has a scoop site?
[county] Oh heavens, do spare us.
[Lumpen] It looks like the most recent article on iniquitydaily was posted about a month ago.
[First_Incision] yeah
[Lumpen] Lame.
[First_Incision] And it was a k5 reject
[cyn-away] bc knows more about it
Scott Lockwood whines just to hear himself.
"You know, I'd stay retired if these fools would just find another target."
We did. We had an agreement. We moved on to other things. Scott Lockwood didn't. Scott Lockwood couldn't STAND being left alone. He can't live without negative attention, and he's willing to do whatever it takes to atract it. He had, and still does, have the chance to be left alone FOREVAR, just by shutting the hell up. We gave him once chance, and he flat-out lied to us. We left him alone, and he couldn't stand it, so he started spamming himself all over the Internet and goading us to pay attention to him again.
We put up with it for quite a while, but the frequency and volume of his attention-seeking continued to increase. Well, if he wants attention, he'll get it.
Scott Lockwood, it's all up to you. You can stop it any time you like. You know that VladeKua5y is doomed. Stop fucking yourself over. You can end it any time, if you have willpower and honest. The problem is that you don't. You have no morality as a person.
Is this Scott Lockwood? No, Scott Lockwood is much wider than that. Is this Scott Lockwood, or is this? There are so many that seem to fit him, I just can't decide.
Oh well. On to the future. There's much to be done, and little time to do it.
It is time to set the record straight regarding the situation with respect
to Vladinator/JCB/Reza/Lonesome Cowboy Burt/Whatever other aliases he may be
using. The situation has been confused due to the recent world-wide influx
of Vlad-haters, helper-cells, interested third parties and the occasional
Vlad sympathizer.
Let us start with a basic tenet of the Association of Anti-Vlad Avengers:
There is no difference between William Scott Lockwood III and those who
aid him, give him comfort, and/or use him as a substandard, "Always Save"
hosting solution. Though we may have no direct quarrel with you, Mr. "Trollaxor",
you appear to be friendly with Mr. Lockwood and - by your own admission - are
using him as a substandard "Always Save" hosting solution. Consider the fact
that if you were using a respectable host for your web site, you would not be
having the difficulties you are having now. Also, with this attempt at
ferreting out information for Mr. Lockwood, you are aiding and abetting our
sworn enemy and have aligned yourself in direct oposition to a powerful
internet force (that is, the AAA and its splinter groups).
This brings us to a primary characteristic of the AAA which has
been detailed elsewhere, but which I will repeat here in interest of
completeness: no single cell, as an entity, is aware of the members of
any other cell. The structure of our association works as follows. Each
cell is composed of no more and no less than three members who all reside in
a roughly similar geographic area. One of the three members is designated
as a messenger. This messenger is the only member in contact with a messenger
from exactly two other cells. In this way, the members of each cell remain
anonymous to the members of any other cell. If a messenger has been compromised,
the corresponding cell is responsible for "cleansing" that messenger and
replacing him or her with a new messenger. Such a cell will remain on
probation - meaning they will only be allowed contact with a single other
cell - until such time as the new messenger has been operating for no less
than six months.
Our activities are clandestine and even if another cell wanted to
share the information you request, it would not be able to because it
would not be privy to said information.
As you can see the AAA, though very loosely connected, operates
in a highly efficient manner and is deadly serious about the stated goals
of the organization: namely, the complete, unconditional eradication of
Vladinator, in any and all forms, from the internet.
We have been following the current situation with Vladinator's hosting
service quite closely and we estimate the damages to be severe at this point.
However, we cannot agree to end our champaign any sooner than already decided
upon. We may have shown mercy in this, our second major attack, if Mr.
Lockwood had shown the proper degree of humility at our hands. Instead,
Mr. Lockwood responded with his usual barrage of
lies
and vitriol.
For this reason, and the fact that we are otherwise bored, we have extended the
length of this attack. We realize that Mr. Lockwood's hosting company will try
various tricks to deflect our attack, things such as firewalls and IP banning. Eventually,
they will succeed in eliminating the current attack at which point we will rest for
a period of not less than seven days prior to initiating another attack.
We predict that the end of this second wave will result in another round of
cockiness from Mr. Lockwood, given the highly reactionary character that he is.
The next attack, which will be the "third wave", will be far more subtle than the
current attack and will undoubtedly shake Mr. Lockwood's faith in his current
alliances and dealings. This cycle of attack/end attack/Lockwood gets cocky/
attack again is necessary to wear down Mr. Lockwood's self-confidence and
general desire for continued existence.
As for the fate of Trollaxor.com, I would suggest you find a more suitable,
respectable host for your web site. Had you chosen your hosting solution more
wisely to begin with, you would not find yourself in the same sinking ship with
the rest of Lockwood's "customers". We would also like to remind you that it
is not we who are the enemy, it is William Scott Lockwood III who has
brought this upon himself and those who do business with him. Yes, our attacks
have been harsh and our dealings with Mr. Lockwood have been merciless, but simply
going over Mr. Lockwood's internet history shows that our cause is just and in the
best interests of the internet community at large. If we must sacrifice "innocent"
sites such as yours and kuro5hin, then so be it. It is a very small price to pay
for a truly Vladinator-free internet. An internet where true innocents can browse,
write and engage in discussion without fear of being choked at the hands of a
slobbering troglydite with bad glands
and a spastic colon.
From: cptroll
/. userbio to reflect it). As near as I can
/ 12/4/145812/319
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: Re: [k22320inchfan] cp, is this you?
Date sent: Mon, 4 Dec 2000 19:04:43 -0500
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0001)
Nope. (I saw that diary this morning.) Anne Marie doesn't have a k5
account (and I've updated her
tell, it was registered by the same person who registered CmdrTaco on k5
-- at least the garbage on the user page is consistent between the two.
Anyone who wants to point out the inconsistencies is welcome (I'll
refrain). Do you suppose if I <b>harass rusty</b> he'll give me the 'Anne Marie'
account?... He is known to be troll-friendly....
For now, I only post on k5 under "cp", though I have a 3k-range account
I'm holding in reserve in case a low uid# is ever needed to win a penis
contest. Technically, "Trivia Contest" was mine since I'm the idiot who
started that idea (and it's wasted at least some of rusty's morning,
though in a pleasant educational fashion), but that one's out of my
control now. I'm exploring social-engineering options outside of the mere
LWM disinformation/flaming I'm accustomed to.
Luis Casillas <casillas@stanford.edu> wrote:
>You may need a k5 account to see this:
>
> http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory&sid=2000
>
>The fact that the account is "Ann_a_ Marie" seems to argue against
>it... Anyway, you were around for the original "Real Bruce Perens"
>stuff, right?
>
>--
>Luis Casillas
>Department of Linguistics
>Stanford University
(This is CP0001)
From: Ceee Peee
/ 1/3/22048/19424&mode=mod
0 /10/08/stifgneur01002.html). Lots of potential, and ideas are welcome. (I already have a link to a story about an Egyptian sacrificial ram chasing its owner off a roof.)
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] you know the drill
Date sent: Wed, 3 Jan 2001 00:38:57 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0011)
Gimme some juice:
http://www.kuro5hin.org/?op=displaystory;sid=2001
erate
Actually, it's bound to get modded up on its own because: 1) it's controversial but hardly a troll 2) it conforms to k5 groupthink as a topic for discussion and 3) it has jsm's blessing, something none of Anne Marie's previous submissions ever had. The only thing it has going against it is an annoying misspelling of "K/Clan" in KKK for good measure.
Mostly, I'm just cleansing the k5 pallate for tomorrow's big troll submission: Switzerland has a referendum to give animals human rights (http://www.sunday-times.co.uk/news/pages/sti/200
(This is CP0011)
* * * *
God help us all
by Anonymous Coward on 05:15 AM March 16th, 2000 CST (#810)
But mainly help me. I had a long, dull business trip Tues. and Wed., and as a result I wrote the following (5000 words and still unfinished) Slashdot Troll FAQ. I haven't been able to build on 80md's original due to lack of connection, but the doct. below still needs revised. Specifically, it needs to be made more entertaining. See whatcha think.
jsm
Slashdot troll FAQ
We post inflammatory, satirical or just plain weird comments on slashdot, aiming to draw attention to ourselves and to distract discussion away from the matter at hand. We use satire, wit, art and other cultural weapons to give fun to the clueful and embarrass the clueless.
A good troll is a statement designed to inflame the passions of a certain type of reader. A troll is a contrary or controversial statement, which attacks a preconception of someone who is likely to read it, causing them to suspend their normal standards of critical thinking, and to fire off a combative response, without thinking that they are being had. This is the "classic" troll, aimed at enticing someone to make a fool of themself.
Yes. The "surrealistic" troll is a piece of prose, rambling, comic or just downright weird, inserted into a discussion where it seems at once utterly irrelevant and curiously in place. The common thread linking the types of trolls is that a certain kind of personality (read - far too uptight) gets irrationally annoyed by them.
Some kinds of trollish statement have been proven to work again and again, so naturally, some trolls have taken advantage of this fact to repeat them again and again. Certain individual trolls are more or less identified with certain types of trollish statement, and thus we have the idea of a "character" - a fictitious entity which is supposed to actually hold the views which are expressed in the troll's posts. Some of these characters have distinct personalities and maintain narrative coherence from troll to troll (see the "Microsoft Linux" episode between streetlawyer and DMG); some of them show up expressing the same or similar points of view again and again (the RWM and derivatives).
The number one maximally 1337 troll character is the RWM; the most established troll, with the most solid track record behind him. Opensource man and his creations is the oldest surreal troll; gnarphlager and auntfloyd also adopt this style. Paranoid Man is getting off the ground, and DMG and streetlawyer have their fans. Mindless Bastard is more of a style of trolling than a character per se. There are lots more people posting trolls than are listed here; these are just the repeating characters.
RWM is the Right Wing Maniac, a character with a hotch-potch of (often mutually incompatible) libertarian, Christian, and Objectivist views, who typically (mis)applies the general principles of his world-view to various slashdot topics. He tends to be keen on referring to people as "socialists", particularly if they consider themselves to be conservatives. Sometimes he's more of a religious nut; sometimes it's more the free market which rings his bell. There is also a Left Wing Maniac with a yen for spouting dialectical materialism, but he hasn't done much recently. It's worth noting that it is very rare to find a RWM troll thread in which at least one participant doesn't agree with most of RWM's views.
DMG is the Dumb Marketing Guy. He claims to have been involved in Linux for "at least four years, since the very beginning", and offers unsolicited "open source" marketing advice on Linux advocacy to the members of the community. He often takes a rather hurt tone in response to the welter of abuse which is the usual response to his advice.
For crying out loud, they ought to be self-explanatory, surely to heck?
Buggered if I know. Lots of trolls mention cheese, and seem to indicate that cheese has some sort of significance. Maybe it does.
Because he had a hard life, dragging himself up from the streets to get his fucken law degree from fucken Hah-vud, OK?
Well, sorry. But really, nobody cares (see below). You're too easily offended. Now purge the post from your board, log our IP address and go back to drawing your "After Y2K" comic (which is shit, by the way).
We don't do boring, uncreative shit which just makes slashdot harder to read. We're not into denial of service attacks - they aren't very funny. We're probably harsher opponents of the spam bunch than you are, because anything which encourages people to browse at levels above -1 makes our work harder.
Nope. Nezh.
Nope. Nada.
Errrr, well actually yes we have. Both of those ongoing trolls were written by regulars on the troll forum, and you're not going to find condemnation of them in this FAQ.
Read them. Untwist your underwear, stop fulminating over the momentary interruption to your terribly important discussion about Slackware and have a look at some of these posts. Open source Natalie Portman was a fine piece of Burroughsian prose and if you don't agree that it was, then you're wrong. The whole "Naked and petrified" thing was an absolute triumph - it provoked a huge amount of reaction, entertainingly interfered with a few people's heads by sexualising the context of slashdot and is still talked about, several months after the original author stopped bothering.
Sick to you, but that was actually the guy's genuinely held sexual fantasy. He was erotically excited by the thought of women turned to stone, and was letting the world know about it. Don't pretend that you weren't interested - it's absolutely fascinating.
Nope. I was taken aback myself, but there are several sites on the Net with active discussion boards on this very subject. It's not that very different from the subject of "The Fermata" by Nicholson Baker, where the hero has the power to stop time, effectively turning women into statues. And that is quite a common paraphilia.
No, it was a petrification fantasy. Which is something rather less threatening, because harder to act out (how many people really believed that anyone could actually turn Natalie Portman to stone?)
I'm sure she's not wonderfully happy about being the subject of someone else's tawdry sexual fantasies, but it kind of comes with the job. I doubt she loses much sleep.
Opensourceman's works (including the Star Wars series and Fat-time Charlie) are available online at: Craig MacPherson has a website at: , which probably has a few things on it to do with the petrification thing.
Wellllll
Why, for God's sake?
For a variety of reasons, but mainly to puncture the self-importance of a few people who deeply deserve it. Slashdot has a lot of very clever people posting, but vastly more individuals with a serious perception/reality gap with regard to their own intelligence. People who believe themselves to be perceptive, clueful, even deep thinkers while merely reciting lists of conventional wisdom deserve to be taken for a ride. And there's the sheer Skinnerian joy of it - if somebody, or some group of people have buttons, it's inhuman not to take delight in pushing them.
In order to do it properly.
No problem. Whining about moderation is for the moderation thread. Several trolls moderate more or less frequently (and meta-moderate - be very afraid), and there is very little genuine complaint about moderation on the troll threads. Any remarks about $3 crack are meant in a spirit of fun and affection, and are usually merely cris de coeur when a finely crafted troll has been rumbled in the first few seconds and down-modded.
That was funny.
Where is there? We've had a token go or two at Nitrozac and kuro5hin, and an abortive attempt to troll some of the statuephilia discussion boards with discussions about technology, but it just doesn't feel right. If you ain't on slashdot, you ain't, basically, trolling.
That isn't even true. Several of the troll regulars have enough Karma to post with the +1 bonus when they use their regular identities, which puts them in the top decile, according to Rob Malda. And there is a definite audience for quality trolls. Have you just been trolled? Is that why you're so angry? Calm down, it'll be someone else's turn in the barrel on Friday.
To paraphrase gnarphlager, yes, we have many better things to do, but we're not going to do them.
How can I recognise a troll?
If you want to spot a troll, then you're basically entering into a game, played against us. You have to keep your guard up, adopt a critical attitude to what you read and decide whether it is plausible that someone is actually posting that view. For our part, we will intermingle fact and fiction, invent plausible-sounding references and (always) attempt to attack your emotional involvement in a topic in order to make you drop your guard. The more ridiculous the proposition we sneak under your guard, the more we win. The angrier you get, the more we win. And you? As the computer said in War Games "The only way to win is not to play".
Usually, a troll will resemble a normal slashdot post, but will contain at least one thing which is not true. A good troll will contain material which obviously couldn't possibly be true, and would not fool anyone who gave it a moment's thought. The troll will also contain an inflammatory or controversial statement, designed to make sure that nobody does give it a moment's thought. Criticism of Linux, strong or offensive political views, mockery of "computer geeks", claims about the inferiority of women/Canadians/Perl, all of that stuff. Interestingly, having experimented with using outright, Bell-Curve-like racist statements to act as the controversial part of the troll, I've found that they never offend anyone, which I guess shows what a lily-white place slashdot is.
Obviously these rules apply more to the classic satirical model of a troll, but there is a strong family resemblance in the surrealist model. Looking at the best work of osm, gnarphlager, auntfloyd et al., you pick up a strong sense of the underlying form. There is the (often highly tenuous) link to the subject matter, the building sense of cognitive dissonance and then the denouement in which the troll moves into the realm of pure surrealist prose (or "gets silly", depending on how you look at it). Typically, when reading such a troll for the first time, and in the context of the thread, the reader's reaction goes through stages.
At the opening of the troll, in which the technological subject matter is being obliquely referred to, the reader is curious. There is an unconscious assumption that what is being used is a metaphor, which appears opaque but will actually make an argument clear (in such a way the surrealist trolls subvert the category of metaphor as used in scientific discussions). Then, the tension between the what the reader wants to read and what he/she sees on the page grows, but the reader still tries to hang on to the idea that he/she is reading "News for Nerds". Finally, when the reality (that is, the unreality) of the troll is revealed, the reader is outraged at having been tricked.
Thus, we can see that the distinction between the classical and surrealist trolls is one of inversion; metaphor versus metonymy. The classical troll traps the reader in metaphor, creating the "character" or authorial fiction, which the reader takes as a metonymy for "The Other" - the fictional creature on the screen is espousing Microsoft, or Libertarianism, or something else which must be ritually reacted to, rather than read as if it were a metaphorical text. The surrealist troll appears to use metaphor, but creates no authorial fiction. The piling up of the metonymic symbols of trolldom (cheese, Natalie Portman, the Troll itself) draws the reader into the pure text, looking for a meaning (or metaphor) which is always deferred. The reader wants to create an authorial fiction, but this is denied - and it is this denial which is the source of his/her rage. The surrealist troll lets the reader down with a bump - the satirical troll, in its purest form, never lets the reader out at all, leaving him/her stuck in a world which is false, because he/she is being manipulated by the authorial fiction. Classical trolling is about the use of metaphor to create metonymy; surrealist trolling is using metonymy to create metapor.
YHBT. YHL. HAND. (Ha ha, only serious)
Pretty much so, yeah. There's been "trolltalk", "trolltalk2", "31337troll" and a bunch of others. It's good to be able to see other people's work, to discuss trolling, and on occasion to have a way of proving for sure that something you wrote was a troll, to a particularly persistent mark.
If I could tell you, I'd have to kill you. There have been a few problems with people stalking some of the trolls, and spamming the troll forums with whitespace to make them unusable. There's no big secret or anything, it's just that we'd like to think that finding the troll forum requires a modicum of commitment and ingenuity. There's one pretty well-trafficked troll forum which is listed in most of the usual indices. Look, fuck it, you used to be able to find BBSes, didn't you? This is no different.
Yada yada yada.
Welllllll
Write a nice, long post, beginning with the phrase "I'm sure this is a troll, but
The only approved, correct, 1337 way to deal with a troll is not to reply at all. Don't say anything. Just sit back and feel smugly self-satisfied that you caught the troll. Go on. People always seem to say the word "smug" as if it were a bad thing, but how can something that feels so good be wrong? Smirk. Once the troll is "dead" (once the author has taken credit for it and admitted the troll), you might want to post a message about it. You'll probably get a nice reply.
Wellllll
Then you should be prepared to live with being a laughing stock. We live off people like you, who simply can't stop themselves from pouring out conventional wisdom, even when they know they are being made monkeys of. And no, the "I'm pretty sure
Well, fundamentally, it lacks class. For one thing, you're feeding the troll while pretending not to feed it, which is dishonest. For another, you're encouraging lots of enraged people to visit the troll forum. This means that the troll forum gets spammed, the trolls move, and you now will be forced to spot trolls for yourself rather than reading them off the list, lamer. Also, the trolls can't tell who it was who brought the spammer there, so all the other people who used to enjoy reading the daily trolls don't find out where the new forum is.
How can I start trolling for myself?
"Just do it", as that noted provider of employment to Indonesian children once said. Your first trolls are unlikely to be offensive enough to draw many responses, but once you lose your disinclination to be unpleasant, results will follow. Of course, you may incipiently be a natural trolling genius like dmg, who got huge pops from the get-go. Choose a story which will get a lot of traffic, try to get an early, top-level post, etc, etc (here might follow a whole load of shit from the Karma HOWTO which I'm not going to reproduce). And, offend. You might want to start off with a right-wing maniac troll.
RWM is the source from which it all flows. Like an origami master building everything from a folded base, or a woodworker turning a chair-leg, the entirety of the art is encapsulated in this one element. It is possible to dedicate your entire trolling career to the perfection of the RWM (troll gods 80md and 70% more or less have done). If you can't write an RWM troll, you can't write a troll.
The key to the RWM troll is to realise its heritage from Usenet. Usenet trolling was all about cross-posting controversial statements to start flame-wars between different newsgroups. On slashdot, you can't cross-post, so you have to identify people who can be brought into conflict where you are. The beauty of the RWM troll is not so much that he sets rightwingers against leftwingers, but that he creates cognitive dissonance in rightwing readers, because they want to agree with his conclusions (or at least, his less obviously mad ones), but can't bring themselves to accept his reasoning (or simulation thereof). RWM also exploits the fact that a lot of people with right-wing views haven't necessarily thought out those views very comprehensively, and so are vulnerable to cognitive dissonance caused by the inconsistency of what they believe. Among the elements of right-wing mania are:
Obviously, everyone who disagrees with a RWM is a socialist, even if they don't think they are.
Further information
From: Ceee Peee
To: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
Subject: [k22320inchfan] No respect
Date sent: Mon, 8 Jan 2001 08:57:36 -0800 (PST)
Send reply to: k22320inchfan@lists.io.com
(This is CP0018)
Today was the appointed date for jury duty (postponed since this summer, since the idiots at the courthouse failed to divine that calling a student to duty in the county where he studies rather than resides permanently doesn't make any sense). It was my hope to get on a jury, since I highly value the (unconstitutionally diminishing) role of the jury in American jurisprudence.
I showed up this morning at the courthouse. After some buffoonery at the security check (hint: don't carry a cpu in your backpack when arriving for jury duty), I went upstairs where I signed in and was informed that I had already missed the video (shucks). I filled out some paperwork and was redirected to the grand-jury room.
This was a potential mixed blessing. Grand juries, as distinguished from petite ("normal") juries, are the first line that the state must cross before obtaining an indictment for the accused. They consist of 23 laypersons whose standard is "probable cause" rather than "reasonable doubt" and vote by majority rule whether to issue an indictment. The prosecutor presents his witnesses and evidence, and the defendant has no representation. Normally, the grand-jury trial is brief and 99% or so of all grand juries return an indictment. Prosecutors often refer to this statistic as the "ability to indict a ham sandich" if they so please. Grand juries usually sit for one day per week for three months, something that would screw up any student's semester.
The good thing about grand juries is that they have almost infinite investigatory powers to do whatever they please. What is not commonly understood is that the role of the grand jury isn't just to return a verdict in the form of an indictment; it's for members to question witnesses, subpoena evidence the prosecutor didn't present, and generally get the whole story. It's even within the power of the grand jury to expell the prosecutor and judge if the jury so decides.
I was prepared to give them hell. Once on a jury
(grand or otherwise), I was going to be the asshole
lawyer the defendant isn't allowed to have. I was
going to subpoena bank records, grill prosecutorial
witnesses, and vote to nullify anything I considered
unjust (even when "legal"). I was going to persuade
enough fellow jurors to kick out anyone we didn't
like, especially the prosecutor. In short, I was
going to troll the legal system.
But I didn't get that opportunity. After an hour of
sitting in the grand-jury room, we were informed that
we weren't waiting for a grand-jury seating: instead,
a petite-jury seating.
Petite juries, in states that value the constitution,
are 12-person panels that sit and hear evidence in the
actual criminal trial. Their role is ostensibly to
decide the facts and apply the law as directed by the
judge. Their actual role under the constitution
(though the Supreme Court doesn't require that you be
informed of this) is to sit in judgment not just on
the facts but also on the law. Again, I was hoping to
get a chance to nullify stuff: this time, drug laws
and other things I believe unconstitutional.
Again, I was denied. Only five minutes later, we were
informed that all the cases pending today were
plea-bargained, and we were "free to go". A sigh of
relief was heard throughout the room, as people who
didn't want to be there were grateful that they didn't
have to serve on a jury and perform the duty they
didn't want to perform. I was disgusted.
That's what's most wrong with plea bargaining in this
country. Not that 90% of cases never reach public
scrutiny because they're decided in the hallways of
courthouses. Not that people serve penalties for
unconstitutional charges. Not that real criminals get
off with reduced sentences. Not that the legislatures
feel free to pass an absurd number of laws without
caring whether the court system can handle the load of
giving each citizen true justice.
None of that.
What's wrong is that I, a troll, have been kept off my
damn jury. No respect.
(This is CP0018)
i see this as a terrorist threat. if google was taken over by terrorists, you could be browsing porn hands-free, just about "there" when suddenly google full screens a high resolution image of star jones in a bikini ... unwaxed.
needless to say, many would die, however those that lived would be much, much, much worse off. this is why google should be on the terrorist watch list.