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Listen to Webpages While Driving
dimitril writes "Tired of sitting in your car for hours and practically doing nothing but listening to the radio or the same CD for the fifth time? You could use those hours by reading your websites with this little project. You will love those traffic jams!"
What good is having slashdot read to you if you can't post back?!? Get back to me when it takes dictation and can handle meta-moderation.
Etc, etc, ad nauseam, and so on and so forth.
Me: Computer follow the link someone posted on slashdot.
Computer: following link to http://goatse.cx
me : DOH no STOP STOP STOP!!!
Computer : Loading page..
Computer : ARG my EYES@!!!!!
Me : where is that smoke coming from..
*insert car accident*
-THIS SPACE FOR RENT!
Get back to me when it lets you play Nethack whilst driving.
The hit the solid wall! You die... Do you want your body identified? [ynq] (n)
Or perhaps:
You open the dashboard.. Wait! That's a small mimic!
POV from a helicopter. Close in on an SUV cruising the freeway along the seaside at 90 mph. Inside we see a man at the wheel, and his family. He is obviously quite excited over his new gadget, the Web Talker...
Man: Honey, you should see this website I discovered the other day. Full of News for Nerds, Stuff that matters, it is pure nirvana for geeks like me!
Wife: Yeah, whatever.
The man makes a face and loads the Slashdot homepage on the Web Talker.
Man: Look dear, they are making robots in China that can do Tai Chi. What else would they think of next?
Wife: Are you sure they weren't hinting at their inability to get them to move any faster? Like, so they could do something productive???
Man sighs, then tunes out wife and loads another article. Inside, he finds very little info on the matter. Fortunately, a kind-hearted AC has provided a link with more info. He begins to load it.
Man: See, not all the world is decep...
Suddenly, we hear a loud "Eh. The goatse..." emanate from the speaker, followed by screams of pure terror. We zoom out to safety as we see the SUV lose control and run straight off the cliff.
Use ISO 8601 dates [YYYY-MM-DD]
Headline: Troll Causes Car Pileups Around the World After Linking to Goatse.cx
Car accidents wreaked havoc in major cities yesterday after a rogue troll posted a link to goatse.cx. Toyota Camrys with the new windshild HUD option were tricked into displaying the offensive site, causing mass panic and causing drivers to lose control of their vehicles.
"We don't know what happened, but we reccomend that users of our site view comments at a minimum of 1, 2 if they would like to be safe," said Rob Malda, who runs the popular site slashdot.org.
Fark.com declined comment, citing urgent administration tasks.
I will now redundantly add my name to the end of my post. You know, in case you forgot me or something.