Slashdot Mirror
Call for Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie References
lma writes "Lyle Zapato, best-selling author (well, maybe just author) of Aluminum Foil Deflector Beanie: Practical Mind Control Protection for Paranoids , and developer of MindGuard, personal anti-psychotronic software for Amiga and Linux, is trying to find as many references to AFDBs or similar devices prior to 1991 as possible. Please help this important part of our cultural heritage from being lost, and email him with any references you can find." Well, there was my Uncle Milt..I mean...well, nevermind.
They're watching me through satelites to make sure I don't make any first posts.
I like to image this comic strip: Two agents are hunched over a console at NSA HQ, one says to the other, "Dammit, I had a positive lock on his brainwave sync'd with the thought projector, but then he put that darn foil hat on again!"
try { do() || do_not(); } catch (JediException err) { yoda(err); }
The server is temporarily unable to service your request due to maintenance downtime or capacity problems. Please try again later.
Apache/1.3.26 Server at www.zapatopi.net Port 80
now I dont get to read some article about someone else's interest in tinfoil hats. Drat.
I think they need another symbol for 'slow news day articles'...
It's Major League baseball! They're watching from the skies!
:)
You guys want to see what's in here or want to see me hit some dingers? DINGERS! DINGERS!
Simpsons reference.
I think he needs anti slashdot aluminium foil protection for his server, its all gone a bit 503.
Trying to use slashdot as a cheap way to do a patent search.
At least that is what the aliens told me.
He's looking for these devices for"reference" yeah sure. He's obviously trying to take over the world.
With MindGuard, you can rest assured that your most valuable possession -- your mind-- is safe from the nefarious tinkering of evil-doers.
I am so glad this software is available, now we can get even more of the right kinds of folks advocating the use of Linux. Is there a large untapped market for Linux use in mental hospitals?
I Am My Own Worst Enemy
No, the server just put a foil hat on.
Were are we going to watch you go today? Score : -1, Unfunny.
... or he would be able to tell us about them!
TC - My Photos..
...or I would have been able to see that there should be a negation somewhere in the last part of that sentence. My bad.
Arg! It's an evil plot to make me look silly. Hand me that roll of tinfoil please....
TC - My Photos..
Recently?
>Do tinfoil helmets provide adequate protection against mind control rays? > >09-Jun-2000
Well, recent in a geologic sense....
What's the tinfoil for,
Shiny side in, keeping the thought police out
Shiny side out, for keeping the mind control out.
thank God the internet isn't a human right.
I have two sisters who are identical twins. It was always required for them to wear aluminium foil hats if they wanted to be partners in our family games of spades. Otherwise, we would all end up beaten by them two terrible cheaters!!!
I only look human.
My mother is a halfling and my dad is an ogre, so that makes me an Ogreling
Yeah, we make her do that every now and then. When she's really bad, we let the monkey play with the joystick.
It's supposed to be completely automatic, but actually you have to press this button.
You got an affiliate commission link into a front-page Slashdot story! You rock!
<sig>Guvf vf abg n frperg zrffntr
That Fact that this book is sold by amazon (funny although it is) or the fact that the biggest (or first listed) search by customers there after was for clean undearwear :)
I've heard of pissing yourself with laughter but that takes teh cake
Kingdom of Loathing (www.kingdomofloathing.com) Addicted is me
Sure... being an American of European descent this is really the best thing I've got going for me!
Escape Pod Films: Sketch Comedy and Web Series
In order to mind control you, "they" need you to wear an aluminum foil hat, so they start these stories...
Don't forget to buy your earplugs, in addition to your foil hats! I mean, how else are you going to protect yourself from *superluminal* attempts at mind control?
And remember.... Yvan eht nioj!
Well - that post being modded down proves conclusively that there is a government conspiracy, and furthermore, that slashdot is in on it. Now, where did I put my copy of Pyramid Power?
Gentlemen! You can't fight in here, this is the War Room!
Everyone knows that aluminum did not exist before 1992. It was at that time that the Reynolds corporation made a bid to take over the US Government. Reynolds, an alliance between the city of Marina Del Rey and Tom Arnold (look it up, I don't use Google because they track my searches) began producing "anti Illuminati medium" or a-lumin-um by extracting the "conductivity" from steel, a naturally occuring mineral.
Reynolds knew that the CIA and FBI were using mind control through the "cable networks" to persuade the population to upgrade to HBO, the mouthpiece for the Masonic Order of the Illuminati.
You all just think you remember aluminum existing before 1992 because you do not wear your beanies, and have been influenced by HBO. Still need proof? Consider these facts:
1. If you travel outside the US, you will find that no other countries use or have heard of aluminum. (England has something similar called aluminium, which was developed in tandem by Margaret Thatcher's shadow government.)
2. If you travel to another country and they say that they have aluminum, you have not actually travelled to another country, but are on a HBO-enduced mind control trip.
3. Aluminum does not get hot in the oven. I've made thousands of fish sticks in the years after 1992, and no matter how badly I burn them, I can always lift them by the corners of the aluminum foil I placed them on.
When I first opened my law practice, I shared a legal secretary with another lawyer.
Part of my real-world education in solo practice was that, from time to time, I would get calls from prospective clients who were aggrieved by (alleged) mind-control rays and who wanted me to represent them against the U.S. Government or whomever. I would patiently listen to their stories, and offer to take their cases for $10,000 up front. (Mercifully, no one bit, or the state bar would have had my ass.)
I had fun, but I got tired of being so patient a listener as I had other (billable) demands on my time. I mentioned my surprise (at the number of such calls) to my secretary, who said, "Oh. You just have to tell them to make a tinfoil hat and they'll go away. Works every time." And it did!
100% of prospective mind-ray clients who were instructed to make tinfoil hats went away, presumably satisfied. I even got one or two nice notes in the mail, and a couple of referrals.
Moral: There's no substitute for an experienced legal secretary.
I wonder if former AZ Governor Evan Meacham is aware of this. He used to tune multiple radios to different stations and point them at the window to foil (no pun intended - well, maybe a little) eavesdroppers. I think I saw a picture of him somewhere with an aluminum contraption on his head that was supposed to prevent his brain from being accessed (which seems to have worked pretty good since he often didn't seem to have access to it).
--
As a matter of fact, I am a lawyer. But I play an actor on TV.
- Clean Underwear from Amazon's Target Store
- Ladybug Rain Boots from Amazon's Nordstrom Store
- Pet Socks from Amazon's Urban Outfitters Store
- Puppy Footed One-Pieces for Newborns from Amazon's Old Navy Store
I think that's one hell of an ensemble, there.Tom Geller