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New and Improved - SmarTruck II
jmoriarty writes "The Army's next generation SmarTruck is on display in Detroit. The original version of the SmarTruck was covered back in May, but the Army now admits that version was 'hardly ready for the real world'. Apparently the real world version needed interchangable nodules, and the absolute must-have for every Slashdotter's vehicle - a 'hacker in a box'."
but can bill murray drive it back from eastern europe?
"The Army's next generation SmarTruck is on display in Detroit..."
Thought we had a Star Trek parody here.
"Mr Data, when I said 'Fire at Will', I didn't mean for you to be so literal."
If I had one of these I would drive through Iraq shouting "All Your Base Are Mine" over the bullhorn.
Apparently the real world version needed interchangable nodules, and the absolute must-have for every Slashdotter's vehicle - a 'hacker in a box'."
I suppose this gives new meaning to the term "wardriving."
Do not taunt Happy Fun Ball(TM)
. . .but a news conference featuring a marching color guard and a military band playing patriotic songs such as "God Bless America" to introduce a truck seems straight outta the Simpsons. Like an inanimate carbon rod getting a medal from the president or something.
Um yeah... pepper spray is useful, but I can't see it being used in many military situations when a fully-automatic gets the job better and has much more range. Unless they're going for disabling the enemy instead of mortally wounding, but even in that case there are probably things much better than pepper spray, especially considering range.
Non leathal weapons have some neet capabilites: you don't have to worry about firendly-fire. Just zap them all and sort them out at your leasure.
If someone looks suspicious - zap them first and ask questions later. No need to be coy, zap away!
Imagine this: A crowd of anti-american protesters starts protesting when we occupy France. With curent technology, you can do much if you don't want to be a murdurer. With with non-lethal weapons you could zap the whole crowd and process them one at a time - seperating common citiziens from the truly nasty McDonalds/Nike/Hollywood hating French terrorists.
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
Hmm, reminds me of a story I heard regarding the much-maligned SA80 rifle over here in the UK.. apparently top brass invited over Mr Kalashnikov one day (designer of AK47 fame). Mr K. had a good look at the SA80 and turned to the generals and said "You must have really clever soldiers".
SmarTruckII could just sit and listen, send bogus e-mails to confuse an enemy, or, if it is not amused, kill the enemy communications system altogether.
The US military has discovered the destructive power of Slashdotting. Be afraid. Be very afraid.
Where does the school board find them and why do they keep sending them to ME?
Only our goverment would be willing to drive into battle in a Chevy.
Like how much for leather? Is there a towing option? You'd think CNN might dig a little deeper...
Roving Web-Teleoperated Robot
This is obviously a movie parody (note the roman numerals in the title..)
"SmarTruck II - The Wrath of Saddam"
Hmm, doesn't quite have the same ring as "Wrath of Khan"..
I wouldn't watch it anyway.. William Shatner parodying Bush might make my head explode.
I would prefer to shoot gallons and gallons of fire hundreds of yards, but that's just me.
Yeah, but only if they're allowed to play Beavis screaming "Fire! Fire!" over a bullhorn while doing so.
That would be bitchin'!
Cruising the internet on my TI-99/4A @ a whopping 300 baud!
Looking at the thing and seeing no apparent armor added, I would venture a guess that the "low tech" method of defeating this thing would be to pump a couple of rounds into it with an AK-47.
Every year during my review, I just pray the words "slashdot.org" aren't mentioned.
The center console of the vehicle houses the rear view video display, joystick controls, driver GPS Display, mobile satellite phone, AM/FM/CD stereo system, and cellular phone mount.
What!?! No cupholder?
Oh no that thing doesn't stand out in the slightest! I'm sure it's camoflauge works great... in a Mad Max world.
3000 dead over past 2 years, still no free Palestinians, still
Hey, maybe this is built with the same principal as America's Army. See, next they'll start a TV series with Hulk Hulgen driving the thing around and stoping international bad guys. Then, they'll introduce a whole line of toys, with 'modulus' you can buy to add on to it.
But of course, the very coolest accessory, only seems to be available at your local army recruiter! Bring your dad in to the recruiters office and get the Ultimate Battle Pack for only $59.95!
I wonder if the Crusader comes with a submarine option, or a copter option?
- Tristan
I understand that the other names under consideration included:
Because you CAN'T just wirelessly "snoop" on emails. This is a press release, written for technical PHBs, and apparently, Slashdotters named ChaosMt. For Chrissake, the guy used the words "if it is not amused". Its obviously just marketing spin.
I want to delete my account but Slashdot doesn't allow it.
...how many cupholders do I get for that $500K? I only saw two in the picture.