Posted by
michael
on from the includes-two-of-every-application dept.
An anonymous reader notes that OFB has a short blurb about a new Linux distribution, Ark Linux, based on Red Hat and chasing the ever-elusive goal of being "easy to use for the masses".
Slashdot's Black Friday
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Innocent Beginnings
Picture this: you're young, you're gay, and you own a successful web log. But you want more. Enter buyouts by a company called VA Linux, headed by the ruddy fag ESR and his band of Open Source homosexuals, hand picked by Larry Augustin himself and charged with taking over the Linux world. Got it so far? Good.
Short of having kidnapped Linux Torvalds, VA Linux virtually was Linux. You had hit the big time. You were the loud mouth of the biggest, baddest mother of a Faggot Linux Empire ever assembled.
(Important note: VA Linux had, indeed, tried to hire Linux Torvalds away, but Linus had refused, so as not to favor any single company or distribution. VA Linux, in turn, had kidnapped Torvalds and had Rob Malda and ESR rape his mouth unil he couldn't feel his jaw. Linus also needed his stomach pumped. However, good ol' Linus, the stout Finn that he is, never gave in and so was returned to Helsinki soon thereafter.)
The IPO
December, 1999: Stock: $253 Volume: 8,000,000
IPO time, and you were riding high. You had become a millionaire and didn't know it. ESR had been surpised by wealth. And scores of other investors and Linux nuts found themselves with swollen bank accounts. Even though the stock fell sharply soon after, you figure it was just a burp in the market, and you headed out to celebrate by sucking some cock and buying your sports cars, boy-servants, horses, bathhouses and mansions. Still with me? OK. Now fast forward a few months.
The Ugly Truth
June, 2001: Stock: $2.53 Volume: 1,000
You have Linux companies that have lost large parts of their market valuations, Linux distros merging, IPO's cancelled...
In short, Linux was dying. If you wished to portray the worst of the present state of the Linux market, you could not do so without factoring in how the GPL works to un-employ programmers. You didn't have to be a Kreskin to see what was happening; the handwriting was on the wall: Linux faced a bleak future. Even RMS commented on the current position of his Free Software Foundation due to Linux's misfortunes, which, indeed, represented the boat everyone was in with Linux:
"I am goat-fucked!"
Who Are You?
If you can sit there and read this expose and nod your head in affirmation of the events I have thus far documented, you can be only one person: Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda of Slashdot.
All of the events here led up to Slashdot's Black Friday, where Rob Malda almost lost everything he had left (after the VA Linux stock plummet, that is). The only thing left really was Slashdot itself, and the homosexual orgies the Slashdot staff held every Friday night. Alan Cox had since abandoned sucking the Slashdot staffs' cocks, and had returned to civillian life, disillusioned with Linux. Banner ad hits came only by means of the Slashdot staff themselves, and ESR, drunker and drunker with every stock plummet, would call and ream out Rob Malda over the phone every day, holed up in his cabin of 386s running Linux.
Check out the babes
by
as400as2
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
I'm a season computer geek, but all of my experience has been with Windows, right back to Windows 1.0 days. Recently I decided to switch my network server from Windows 2000 to Redhat Linux. I chose redhat because it's the most popular distribution and, I supposed, would therefore have the best user community support.
My machine is a dual processor (P3 1Ghz) box and it has two 40GB drives connected to a highpoint raid controller built into the bios. I mirror the disks using this controller under Windows.
Most things went smoothly with the install. I was somewhat defeated by the implementation of RAID in Linux though. As much as the pro-linux crowd seem to rave about how good the software raid in linux is (and I'm sure it *is* good), it was a darn sight easier to configure in Windows. The SMP worked out of the box though and RH picked up all my hardware, I was impressed. Configuring my firewall was a pain, until I found the firestarter utility - I strongly recommend it if you're planning to use iptables.
But the point of this is my woes with printers. OMG. It took me three hours, several downloads, a couple of builds, many visits to groups.google.com && linuxprinting.org, much howto- reading and config file modifying just to get my new HP 5550 installed and (semi) working. And this was with a printer that is actually supported under Linux by the manufacturer !!
Hell's teeth, I don't care what the desktop looks like; it's a new operating system and I'll just learn whatever it comes with. Until things like installing a printer becomes as easy as insert-disk-and-go (like Windows), it'll be an uphill job to convert the masses.
Slashdot Mirror
fp?
heh good luck. once it's as easy as windows it's going to crash like windows too.
fp
Please, NO QT FLAMEWAR. It just gives our moderator more to delete.
They admit it! Haha!
sulli
RTFJ.
Innocent Beginnings
Picture this: you're young, you're gay, and you own a successful web log. But you want more. Enter buyouts by a company called VA Linux, headed by the ruddy fag ESR and his band of Open Source homosexuals, hand picked by Larry Augustin himself and charged with taking over the Linux world. Got it so far? Good.
Short of having kidnapped Linux Torvalds, VA Linux virtually was Linux. You had hit the big time. You were the loud mouth of the biggest, baddest mother of a Faggot Linux Empire ever assembled.
(Important note: VA Linux had, indeed, tried to hire Linux Torvalds away, but Linus had refused, so as not to favor any single company or distribution. VA Linux, in turn, had kidnapped Torvalds and had Rob Malda and ESR rape his mouth unil he couldn't feel his jaw. Linus also needed his stomach pumped. However, good ol' Linus, the stout Finn that he is, never gave in and so was returned to Helsinki soon thereafter.)
The IPO
December, 1999:
Stock: $253 Volume: 8,000,000
IPO time, and you were riding high. You had become a millionaire and didn't know it. ESR had been surpised by wealth. And scores of other investors and Linux nuts found themselves with swollen bank accounts. Even though the stock fell sharply soon after, you figure it was just a burp in the market, and you headed out to celebrate by sucking some cock and buying your sports cars, boy-servants, horses, bathhouses and mansions. Still with me? OK. Now fast forward a few months.
The Ugly Truth
June, 2001:
Stock: $2.53 Volume: 1,000
You have Linux companies that have lost large parts of their market valuations, Linux distros merging, IPO's cancelled...
In short, Linux was dying. If you wished to portray the worst of the present state of the Linux market, you could not do so without factoring in how the GPL works to un-employ programmers. You didn't have to be a Kreskin to see what was happening; the handwriting was on the wall: Linux faced a bleak future. Even RMS commented on the current position of his Free Software Foundation due to Linux's misfortunes, which, indeed, represented the boat everyone was in with Linux:
"I am goat-fucked!"
Who Are You?
If you can sit there and read this expose and nod your head in affirmation of the events I have thus far documented, you can be only one person: Rob "CmdrTaco" Malda of Slashdot.
All of the events here led up to Slashdot's Black Friday, where Rob Malda almost lost everything he had left (after the VA Linux stock plummet, that is). The only thing left really was Slashdot itself, and the homosexual orgies the Slashdot staff held every Friday night. Alan Cox had since abandoned sucking the Slashdot staffs' cocks, and had returned to civillian life, disillusioned with Linux. Banner ad hits came only by means of the Slashdot staff themselves, and ESR, drunker and drunker with every stock plummet, would call and ream out Rob Malda over the phone every day, holed up in his cabin of 386s running Linux.
on pajonet.com hot or not!
Pajonet.com
New Babes added daily
Moderators can you take care of it?
http://www.apple.com/macosx/
Karma: The shiznight, mostly because I am the Drizzle.
Can you imagine how much shit Microsoft would get in if it linked anywhere to goatse?
I'm a season computer geek, but all of my experience has been with Windows, right back to Windows 1.0 days. Recently I decided to switch my network server from Windows 2000 to Redhat Linux. I chose redhat because it's the most popular distribution and, I supposed, would therefore have the best user community support.
My machine is a dual processor (P3 1Ghz) box and it has two 40GB drives connected to a highpoint raid controller built into the bios. I mirror the disks using this controller under Windows.
Most things went smoothly with the install. I was somewhat defeated by the implementation of RAID in Linux though. As much as the pro-linux crowd seem to rave about how good the software raid in linux is (and I'm sure it *is* good), it was a darn sight easier to configure in Windows. The SMP worked out of the box though and RH picked up all my hardware, I was impressed. Configuring my firewall was a pain, until I found the firestarter utility - I strongly recommend it if you're planning to use iptables.
But the point of this is my woes with printers. OMG. It took me three hours, several downloads, a couple of builds, many visits to groups.google.com && linuxprinting.org, much howto- reading and config file modifying just to get my new HP 5550 installed and (semi) working. And this was with a printer that is actually supported under Linux by the manufacturer !!
Hell's teeth, I don't care what the desktop looks like; it's a new operating system and I'll just learn whatever it comes with. Until things like installing a printer becomes as easy as insert-disk-and-go (like Windows), it'll be an uphill job to convert the masses.
Never, ever lose a file again. Ever.