Sharks in Serious Danger

jd writes "According to the BBC, shark populations in the Atlantic declined on average 75% (the hammerhead faring worst at 86% loss) in the past 15 years. This ain't trivial. Many sharks produce one pup a year, if that, and less than half of those survive to adulthood. Sharks are essential to the health of the oceans, so this is not a trivial concern. They're mostly in decline because some idiots like to cut off the dorsal fin, to make soup. (You kill a lot of sharks, and get gristle stew as a reward.) Others die because of paranoia, and yet more because of psychotic trophy hunters. If sharks do die out, they will be the longest-lived species that humanity has exterminated. (Who needs Daleks? We're doing just fine on our own... :()"

Comments

Meh, who cares?

[PhysicsGenius]

Sharks have jumped themselves.

sharks with friggin' laser beams attached to the

[ljaguar]

DR. EVIL
Release the sharks!

(to the room)
All the sharks have had laser beams attached to their heads. I figure every creature deserves a warm meal.

FRAU FARBISSINA
(Clearing her throat nervously)
Dr. Evil?

DR. EVIL
Yes, what is it? You're interrupting my moment of triumph.

FRAU FARBISSINA
It's about the sharks. Since you were frozen, they've been placed on the Endangered Species List. We tried to get some, but it will take months to clear up the red tape.

DR. EVIL
(disappointed)
Right.

(to Austin)
Mr. Powers, we're going to lower you in a tank of piranhas with laser beams attached to their heads.

(Frau clears her throat again.)

DR. EVIL
What is it now?

FRAU FARBISSINA
Well, we experimented with lasers, but you would be surprised at how heavy they are. They actually outweighed the piranha themselves, and the fish, well, they sank to the bottom and died.

DR. EVIL
I have one simple request- C, and it can't be done? Remind me again why I pay you people?

What do we have?

FRAU FARBISSINA
Sea bass.

DR. EVIL
Right.

good news for Australians!

[Tumbleweed]

Wow - the extinction of sharks would mean that Australians could only be killed by dingos - you know that's gotta increase the expected lifespan of Australians by a lot! :)

Re:good news for Australians!

[Tumbleweed]

Oh, c'mon - everyone knows Australians kill crocs, not the other way 'round! I've seen three documentaries about this, in fact! ("Crocodile Dundee 1, 2, and 3", I think they were called.)

Too few sharks?

[gnovos]

You gotta be kidding, I thought there were too *many* in this country! Oh, wait, I'm thinking of lawyers. It's sometimes hard to tell those bloodthirsty species apart. I should have known when you mentioned the 'pups'. We all know lawyers spawn fully grown from fissures in the earth. :)