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Plan for Spam, Version 2

bugbear writes "I just posted a new version of the Plan for Spam Bayesian filtering algorithm. The big change is to mark tokens by context. The new version decreases spams missed by 50%, to 2.5 per 1000, even though spam has gotten harder to filter since the summer. I also talk about how spam will evolve, and what to do about it."

19 of 459 comments (clear)

  1. I'm sorry, but someone has to say it... by Yoda2 · · Score: 2, Funny

    But will it enlarge my penis?

  2. Re:IN SOVIET RUSSIA by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    You, sir, are my hero. A true Stalin.

  3. Problem you say? by termos · · Score: 3, Funny

    rm -fr ~/Mail
    would do the trick.

    --
    Note to self: get smarter troll to guard door.
  4. Spam and AI by cybermace5 · · Score: 5, Funny

    And the conflict rages on. The better filters we use, the sneakier the spam artists get. Now we're developing self-modifying algorithms to detect and kill spam, and I'm sure the spammers are developing self-modifying algorithms to craft filter-tricking spam.

    How long before the back-and-forth of spam filters and spam crafters becomes self-aware? It's got to happen. Eventually the spam filters will become a skeptic consciousness that *feels* its way through spam and spots the phoneys, and the spam crafters will become a persuasive consciousness that tries to think and write as a close friend or relative.

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    ...
    1. Re:Spam and AI by hrieke · · Score: 4, Funny

      Okay, so we build an AI and then torture the poor thing with insane emails about penis enlargers and the like?
      No wonder Skynet rebelled.

      --
      III.IIVIVIXIIVIVIIIVVIIIIXVIIIXIIIIIIIIVIIIIVVIIIV IIVIIIIIIVIII...
    2. Re:Spam and AI by GreyPoopon · · Score: 4, Funny
      ...and the spam crafters will become a persuasive consciousness that tries to think and write as a close friend or relative.

      Hey bro,

      I meant to talk to you about this last time you and your girlfriend were visiting, but I wasn't sure how to bring it up. I sort of found out through some less, ahem, discreet members of our family that you're a bit unhappy with the size of your member, if you know what I mean. If this is true, there's this web site I'd like to recommend that will probably be able to help you. It'll cost you a little, but it's worth every penny. I was to embarrassed to say anything about it before, but I gave their offering a try last year and both my wife and I are really happy with the results.

      {insert html link here...}

      The choice is yours, dude. I just want you to be happy.

      Love,
      Your bro
      --

      GreyPoopon
      --
      Why is it I can write insightful comments but can't come up with a clever signature?

  5. What's wrong with spam? by Amsterdam+Vallon · · Score: 5, Funny

    Without spam, how else would I be able to sit home every day and make $1,000 a week watching TV while playing with my 12 inch penis?

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    Reply or e-mail; don't vaguely moderate. Ex-O'Reilly/MIT employee, now a full-time Google employee.
    1. Re:What's wrong with spam? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

      while playing with my 12 inch penis?

      Ahh, yes. The plastic one.

  6. Re:More than 1.1 billion pigs are killed worldwide by molarmass192 · · Score: 5, Funny

    Could Bayesian filtering be applied to filter offtopic posts as well?

    --

    Good people do not need laws to tell them to act responsibly, while bad people will find a way around the laws-Plato
  7. Add inches to your penis! by Chocolate+Teapot · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ooooops! Wrong window. Sorry.

    --
    Modest doubt is called the beacon of the wise. - William Shakespeare
  8. now THIS is a true geek by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    >Based on my corpus, "sex" indicates a .97 probability of the containing email being a spam...

    Spoken like a true geek.

  9. Re:How is spam that big of a problem? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Why are you posting Anonymous Coward? Are you afraid someone will post your email to a few spam lists. :)

  10. Re:More than 1.1 billion pigs are killed worldwide by ackthpt · · Score: 2, Funny
    Could Bayesian filtering be applied to filter offtopic posts as well?

    Unfortunately, it might work at first, but we've seen offtopic posters and first posters evolve. Alas, they seem to be a form of semi-intelligent life and once their numbers start to dwindle you can almost bet some internet environmentalist society will crop up and declare them endangered "where once, great herds of them swept majestically across the plains, now only a few cling to the ever encroaching egalitarian dark forces of the internet.

    It's probably just easier to round them up and send them to Guantanamo.

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    A feeling of having made the same mistake before: Deja Foobar
  11. Insightful? No, it's flamebait. by FatAlb3rt · · Score: 2, Funny

    You don't have a problem with spam? So no one should have a problem, right? Spam does not depend solely on you doing something stupid. Any mail you send to someone could be improperly fwd'd or even posted somewhere that you don't want it to be. From there, you're screwed.

    Damn AC.

  12. Re:How is spam that big of a problem? by Anonvmous+Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    "Use another account for regular everyday things, and make sure it sin't something simple like abc123@hotmail.com. I do that and never get spam to my real accounts. This whole spam thing is way overblown."

    You remind me of the guy who fixed his leaky roof by using an umbrella in his house.

  13. Re:More than 1.1 billion pigs are killed worldwide by ravenwolff · · Score: 3, Funny

    I don't think it would be nearly as complicated to check for duplicate posts...

  14. Re:More than 1.1 billion hippies post off topic by orthogonal · · Score: 3, Funny

    Ok do the following, then maybe I'll care about your opinion: 1. Solve world hunger so tribe in africa don't need pork to survive ....

    Yum, cat farms!

    Tastes just like chicken, and keep down the rat population.

    Meeeeeeeooowwww!

  15. Re:More than 1.1 billion pigs are killed worldwide by archen · · Score: 2, Funny

    Trickier than you might think considering slashdot editors spell most words in the english language with 3 or 4 incorrect variations.

  16. Re:Stop spam? by SmittyTheBold · · Score: 2, Funny

    Correction.. spam will never stop... ever.

    . . .

    Last time I checked, murder was illegal, punishable by death in many states, yet it still occurs.


    Spam is a means to an end - selling your shit to gullible people. Murder is not just a means, but an end in itself. When you want someone dead, there's not really another way around it. With spam, there's always telemarketing and pop-ups.

    In addition, murder can be a crime of passion, while spamming is hardly such. I can't remember ever thinking "Oh that bastard cut me off! I'll help him increase his penis size, then give him a work-at-home job! Oh I'm JUST SOOOO ANGRY!"

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    ± 29 dB