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Phantom Game Console

Posted by michael on from the jokes-are-almost-too-easy dept.

jasoncart writes "In a bold move newly formed US technology company Infinium Labs Corporation have announced the release of a new gaming console. They promise that it will be faster than any other console on the market, and have a huge games catalog (32k+ games apparently) available over broadband. Can they take on the big boys? Is broadband pentration high enough? Only time will tell - prototypes are promised in March." There's also an interview with their PR spokesdrone. *cough*Indrema.*cough*

7 of 513 comments (clear)

  1. But the real question is... by cerebralsugar · · Score: 5, Funny

    can you heat an egg on its heatsink?

    REAL gaming machines cook eggs.

    --
    Easy guys, I put my pants on one leg at a time. The difference is after I put on my pants I make gold records!
  2. 32K games? by grub · · Score: 5, Funny


    Pong, Breakout, Space Invaders..

    --
    Trolling is a art,
    1. Re:32K games? by Didion+Sprague · · Score: 5, Funny

      OMG!!!!

      Childhood flashback.

      Playing the 'Sears' version of Atari on Saturday afternoons at the mall.

      Space Invaders.

      Combat.

      Standing around in the back of the Sears by the lawnmowers and the garden supplies where they had the Atari set-up.

      Get tired of playing, head on down to Aladdin's Castle to play Donkey Kong, Pac Man, and Tron.

      Then off to Radio Shack to fiddle with the TRS-80's and the acoustically-coupled 300 baud modem. Meet some curly haired guy named 'Eberle' in the TRS-80 section who managed to have *every* TRS-80 game in existence -- Asylum I, Zork, Death Maze 5000, you name it.

      Teach myself BASIC on the TRS-80 Model III.

      Then off to Orange Julius.

      Then bike ride home.

      Play D&D in the evening. Talk about the new 'module' you're writing. Talk about getting some more modules. Talk about Grayhawk.

      Childhood was so simple. Malls, computers, orange julius', and Gary Gygax.

  3. 32k+ games?? by MeanMF · · Score: 5, Funny

    (32k+ games apparently) available over broadband

    That's nothing! My old Apple IIe could play 64k games!

  4. Re:32k??? by bokmann · · Score: 5, Funny

    Remember how the atari 2600 worked? one cartridge could have like, 140 games on it, all variations on a theme...

    Here is the tank game!
    Here is the tank game in a maze!
    Here is the tank game with bullets that bounce!
    Here is the tank game with bullets that bounce in a maze!

    and so on. Hope thats not what they mean...

  5. faster than any other console on the market by poindextrose · · Score: 5, Funny

    Interviewer: Hey, why are there wheels on the console? Spokesman: It's faster than any other console on the market. Interviewer: Umm... usually when referring to the spees of the console, you quote the processor speed, or some benchmark. Spokesman: You want a benchmark? This thing gets 112 Miles per gallon. The tank holds a pint. You do the math. Interviewer: What's the purpose of a moving console? Spokesman: It's the ultimate mobile platform.

    --
    Karma: Raspberry Kiwi
  6. Go read their press release by guido1 · · Score: 5, Funny

    No really, go read it. It'll take a little extra time, but it could be the most hilarious thing you'll see in months.

    http://www.infiniumlabs.com/PR/Infinium%20Labs%2 0P ress%20Annoucment%204.0.htm

    I've seen companies promise a subset of the features that I want in product XYZ, but this is the first time I've ever seen a company promote that it has every single feature ever .

    A good quote: "Combining skills from Telco, Data Communications, Digital Rights Management, Software Development and Security, the management team brings together a unique array of skills to develop the most robust next generation gaming console and delivery network on the market."

    Wha?

    It's just too funny on its own... I can't add to anything they've said...