Warner Brothers Announce The Matrix: Special Edit

Kartik3 writes "IGN.com is reporting that Warner Bros. is releasing a 2-disc special edition DVD of The Matrix (loaded with extras) on April 29th and The Animatrix (An Anime series set in the world of the Matrix) DVD on June 3rd." If Animatrix is half as cool as the promo comic that was given out at the Matrix opening, I'll like it.

Comments

Spoon?

[Anonymous Coward]

Not here.

Re:Spoon?

[Anonymous Coward]

I always went to bars after work to pick up women. This night, a woman picked me up instead, and after a little flirting, we were back at her place.

She sat down on the couch next to me. We obviously wanted the same thing.

She was beautiful, with her deep brown eyes and long straight brown hair and smooth tanned skin. She was wearing a pink tank top, a short pink skirt, pink high heels, and sheer tan pantyhose. She was very playful tonight, and she put one of her heels on my crotch. I had jeans on, so I couldn't really feel anything, but the sight of her silky pantyhose covered legs made my cock very hard.

She told me to get undressed. She then stood up and started undressing as well. She was a lot more comfortable than I was, probably because this was her place. I guessed she had done this with many guys before, but it didn't matter, because her sexy legs covered with the tan pantyhose made me completely submissive to her will.

I removed all my clothes and sat on the couch naked, with my hard cock pointing straight up. The teased me by slowly removing her tank top, then her bra. She rubbed her perfect D cups together. Then she took down the skirt, and revealed her pantyhose clad pussy. She wasn't wearing any undies. She rubbed her pussy through the sheer pantyhose. She looked great standing in front of me in her tan pantyhose and pink high heels and nothing else.

She sat back down on the couch next to me, playing with her pussy. I was very excited, and just stared at her. She asked me if I wanted to try some kinky fun. She then took her shoes off, and put her pantyhose clad feet on my cock. She rubbed my cock head with one foot, and massaged my balls with the other. I was so excited by those pantyhose covered feet touching me that I would have agreed to anything at that moment. And I did.

She stopped playing with my cock, and I was very disappointed to not have those feet there all of a sudden. She pulled out a box from under the couch and opened it. It contained a lot of sex toys. She took out some restraints. I was more than willing to do whatever she wanted. She spread my legs and cuffed each of my feet to the two front legs of the couch. Then she spread out my arms, and tied my hands back down to the back two legs of the couch. I was sitting there helpless, unable to move, my legs spread and my cock sticking straight up.

Then she went into another room. I waited in anticipation for what was to come. She came back with a strange device. It looked like a guillotine, but a smaller version of it. I asked her what she was going to do with it. She just told me not to worry, and I was going to have the best sex of my life. She stood the device right in front of me. I was getting a little nervous, especially when she lifted the blade with the string that was attached. She pulled the blade all the way up, and then tied the string to the top of the device so that the blade would stay in place.

My cock was going soft from seeing the blade. She noticed this, and put a pantyhose clad foot on my cock and massaged the head. Immediately my cock got hard again, and I forgot about the guillotine. She then picked up a thin rope from her toy box. She tied the rope around my cock, just below the head. She led the rope through the contraption, under the blade, and tied the other and of the rope to a door knob on the other side of the room. The door was closed, so it easily held my cock in place, which was sticking out straight ahead of me, tight under the blade. She pulled the rope tight, so that I had to lift my hips off of the couch. If I tried to sit back down, the rope would get tighter around my cock and pull it harder away from my body.

She smiled and said now the fun part would come. She stood up on the couch, directly in front of me so that her pussy was right by my mouth. I could smell her scent. She told me to lick it. I licked it through the pantyhose. It was starting to get moist.

Then she said we should get a little more dangerous. There was little I could do, but with

Her pantyhose covered legs and pussy in front of me, I didn't really want to protest. She tore the crotch of her pantyhose, letting her pussy lips free.

Then she told me that I was going to lick it like I had never licked before. And to make sure I was a good boy, she would give me an incentive. I stared in horror as she untied the rope that was holding the guillotine blade in place, but I could not stop being excited by the beautiful pantyhose covered legs and the pussy in front of me. She said I would lick and sick until she was happy, and if I stopped, she would let go of the rope.

What could I do? I started to lick her pussy. I didn't really mind.

She moaned a little. Then she put the rope in her mouth and bit down with her teeth to hold it. That way she could use both hands. She rubbed her breasts and her beautiful pantyhose covered ass. I just kept licking and sucking her pussy as she thrust her hips in my face. It was very exciting, and I loved her forcing me to please her like this, with my cock at stake. I still tried to sit down, but the rope on the end of my cock kept pulling in the other direction.

I could feel her pussy getting very wet.

Then she had her orgasm. Her hips thrust in my face, and as she did so, she opened her mouth in satisfaction, and the rope slipped from her lips.

I heard the swoosh of the blade as it came down. Then I no longer felt the tugging of the rope. It had stopped pulling on the end of my cock, and instead a much more horrible feeling had replaced it. I was now free to pull my hips back.

I realized immediately my penis had been severed. The pain was shocking, and I clenched my teeth together, right onto her pussy lips.

She jerked as she herself felt a sudden rush of pain in her genitals. She tried to pull herself away, just as I jerked my head back from the pain... She screamed.

She was still standing over me, and I could not see what my severed cock now looked like, all I knew was it hurt immensely. I bit down further, not even realizing I had ripped the top half of her pussy lips away, and they were now between my teeth.

Her hands went down to her pussy, trying to stop the bleeding and the pain. I opened my tear filled eyes long enough to see her crying.

I felt great remorse at what I had done, even though she lost far less than I. Her pussy would heal, and since half of it was still there, even though it was the bottom half, she could still experience sexual pleasure. As far as I knew at that time, my penis was gone forever, and I would never have sex again. Then I passed out.

Praise Allah for the end of American Space Travel

[Anonymous Coward]

The will of god is greater than the will of man.

The evil of America had paid the price for occupying our holy land.

You have paid with lives.

Iraq will prevail.

Allah, peace be upon him.

Dear Dr. Fuck

[Anonymous Coward]

Dear Sir:

I'd like know what the red, pus-engorged streaks on my balls are. They rose up after I had sex with a plate of Thai food. Do you think the curry might be having a reaction with my equipment? I do have allergies to peanuts.

Thanks a bunch,
Red Stained in Rockford

Dear Red Stained in Rockford,

The red streaks on what we in the medical field call your "ballzack", are typical of allergic reactions to sex with food containing peanuts. However, the pus-engorgment is not. I suspect you probably let your dog or cat nibble the curry sauce off your equipment (as I usually do), and he or she probably accidently nipped you in the buds, as it were.

I suggest you take about 20 benadryls and soak your scrotum in hydrogen peroxide (use a 6% solution, not the usual pussy 3%). And since you do have allergies to peanuts, try to go with Mexican food instead of southeast Asian food, for future reference.

Sincerely,

Dr. Fuck

Re:/.'ed

[crashnbur]

I know. I'm one of those capitalist-to-the-core types that the average /.'er hates just because I understand the Constitution. And as for her, yes and no. She was great, no matter how stupid she was in our last days together. She made one mistake and couldn't make up for it to herself; she forgot that a relationship is a cooperative arrangement, and she stopped cooperating. I suppose it was for the best -- she never shared her side of things anyway, which if I'm not mistaken is supposed to be the man's problem. Oh well, life is better now.