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Nokia's Cellular GBA - The N-Gage
An anonymous reader writes "Hold on to your Game Boys, folks! It appears that the Finland cell phone manufacturer, Nokia, will be throwing in its lot in the handheld gaming industry with its N-Gage. Not only is this critter capable of playing games, but other noticeable features include a cell phone, radio, and MP3 player. Game companies such as Sega, Taito, and Eidos have already expressed support for it."
What is the Troll Library?
The Troll Library is a database of the best and brightest trolls of $lashdot history. The database is SQL 2000 and is managed by Microsoft C# using .NET technology.
How can the Troll Library be accessed?
The Troll Library is not yet available online, but it will eventually be made publicly available in the form of a .NET web service-- That means that you will be able to browse the library and submit your additions with your web browser (yes, even an inferior piece of shit like Mozilla, since Microsoft for some reason chose to include "down-level" compatibility with their web services in .NET).
What's the ultimate goal of the Troll Library?
To crapflood $lashdot into oblivion using Microsoft technologies.
What does the $lashdot community think about this?
Using Microsoft .NET to annihilate $lashdot really pisses off the $lashdot community, which is hilarous.
Do you sit around and read $lashdot all day?
Of course not. The client troll poster bot automatically detects a new story on $lashdot, selects a post from the Troll Library database, and submits it to $lashdot. The client is written purely in C# using Windows Forms in .NET. It would be impossible for $lashdot server to detect the presence of the bot, except for the "Dirty Linux Users:Are Hippies" header.
What if they crack down?
If the 'editors' (I use the term loosely) were to ban the RoboTroll or Troll Library posts, the posting client would have to become open source and avialable to everyone. The irony and humor is very rich indeed.
How can I help?
The single biggest need is a .NET server with the bandwidth capable of being $lashdotted. Please make your plans and prepare accordingly; when the time comes, we want you to be ready. What you will receive is nothing more than a .ZIP file to unzip to your inetpub\wwwroot folder.
If you are running Apache or some other open source derivative piece of shit, I can only laugh at your sad ability to serve up plain ol' HTML. You sad and pathetic, and I fear for your future career-- or lack thereof. HAHAH!!!
Thanks!!
No - Thank you, the honorable and noble Trolls of $lashdot, we all know that WE are the lifeblood of $lashdot itself, and it would wither and die without US .
Do not attempt to email me (email is bullshit of course) or otherwise, just reply to this post; replies are automatically indexed and delivered to me.
Troll 15 of 208 from the annals of the Troll Library .
program SucksDot;
var
c : char;
begin;
write('Does CmdrTaco suck cock [y/n]? ');
read(c);
if (c in ['y','Y'])
writeln('You are correct!')
else
writeln('You are an ass gnome!');
end.
Troll 20 of 208 from the annals of the Troll Library .
If MsgBox("Does CmdrTaco Suck Cock?", "Sucking",vbYesNo) = vbYes Then
MsgBox "You are correct!"
Else
MsgBox "You are an ass gnome!"
End If
< This is a Visual Studio supported website, ya know >
I've read some stupid fucking books in my life time.
I wish I was playing Zelda or Tetris than reading those pieces of shit.
Which would you rather do? Read the Book of Mormon or play some Bomberman?
Non impediti ratione cogitationus.