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Why Nerds Are Unpopular
AccordionGuy writes "Paul Graham, who's known for his writings on Lisp and other Lisp-like languages as well as his essays on combatting spam has taken a bit of a detour from his usual topics. His latest essay is one that's a little more personal and that we can all relate to: Why Nerds Are Unpopular . It's a lengthy but engaging writeup of that chamber of horrors we call high school and why being smarter than the average bear is more of a liability than an asset during that stage in life. It's food for thought for those of us who've already been there, done that and been stuffed into lockers by the football team and it should give some hope to those who are going through it right now."
Because they are condescending assholes. Smug, superior bastards.
(-1, Raw and Uncut is the only way to read)
Are you an idiot? He was referring to jocks in the "mindless brute" sense, not the "athlete" sense.
LRC, the best-read libertarian site on the web
I was originally going to withhold from commenting on this discussion, but upon further thought, I think I'm going to offer my 2 cents.
;).
/. standards.
;) Last year, I went 3 months without showering to see if I could (after the first 2 weeks, you really stop feeling dirty at all...it's quite easy after that). I hate the scent of perfume and soap, so I don't wash my hair usually. When it's dyed, most people don't really notice the grease, but like the showering thing, your body eventually reaches a plateau. Once you hit this level, you don't really get dirtier; you just remain at this level until you finally shower/wash your hair/etc.
For starters, I think that the surest sign of a nerd is someone who's just dying to be popular, but can't be. Note that this is a self-defeating cycle; people that are popular are without trying. Usually, they're just naturally amicable and friendly, and have some charisma or other personal quality that drives people to like them. People that just want to be popular, and sit in the lunch table all day making tables and charts and desperatly trying to figure out how to get into the upper echelon of the social heap are never going to make it -- it's an extremely unflattering trait (btw; am I the only one that saw the incredible irony in the author's quasi-scientific analysis of teenage social circles and his own inability to fit in there?
That being said, I'm really tired of seeing this generic parental advice to nerds from nerds on slashdot. "just wear deoderant". "take fashion tips from other people, NOT your friends". "shower on a daily basis". So on and so forth.
So here's my confession. I guess I'm kind a nerd, by my own definition. At the same time, I'm not unpopular; I have plenty of friends and a girlfriend-type-thing going on. I get along with most people I meet, because I just do my own thing and can usually find things to talk about with other people. Thus, I wouldn't really be considered to be 'unpopular' or 'nerdy' by
However, I am a HUGE nerd by this said set of standards. I'll admit it: I'm fucking dirty. I fucking hate fashion, pop culture, and consumerism, so I don't buy into that shit. I wear the same thing every day. I have gone 7-8 months without washing my clothes, and while I might wear a different shirt every few days or so, I have been wearing the same pair of pants for the last six or so months. They're a pair of mutilated cargo pants with patches, studs, and other crap all over the place. They started out khaki in color, but they're really closer to brown by now. =)
Oh yeah, and I don't shower much either. Usually 1-2 weeks or when I can detect my own stench.
In spite of this, people don't avoid me like the plague. Nobody gives me hell about my personal hygene or the way I dress; at this point, people realize that it's part of my personality and beliefs. My point is that these 'laundry lists' (no pun intended) of things you need to do to overcome your nerdiness are bullshit. It is the unquenchable urge to be popular that makes people true nerds, though they can certainly be outcasts for other reasons.
"Quoting famous computer scientists out of context is the root of all evil (or at least most of it) in programming." - K
May not be anyone still reading or posting about this article anymore, but I'll throw my $0.02 in anyways...
My friends and I were big into computers since about 3rd grade. We were also consistently on honor roles, in NHS, etc. And honestly I'd say I fit into class C or perhaps even B, especially my last 2 years of high school. For one, a lot of the "popular" kids ended up in NHS and I have no doubts earned it. And for another thing, a lot of the people who were snobbish, mean, etc, etc. to me years back actually grew up a lot (as did I, cuz face it we've all been insulting to others at some time or another) those last 2 years.
And while I don't know if I'll go to my reunion because I actively oppose dancing for religious reasons, a part of me still wants to go just to say "Hi" to a lot of those people. Any "I gotta go back to rub my success in their face" feelings I used to have left a long time back. Because ultimately success being measured by money you make, job position, how "hot" your spouse is, etc, etc. doesn't measure happiness or *true* success. I've known people in "lowly" jobs as far as most people would be concerned who are some of the happiest people I know. I attribute much of that to religion too, but I won't get into that here.
Simply stated, get over it, dwelling on the past and how you can rub your "success" in other people's faces, is just as childish and stupid as those who gave you a hard time in school.
That's my $0.02, feel free to take it to heart or ignore it completely.