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Microsoft: Because Bugs are Cool
h_orion writes "According to Mr. Gates, Microsoft recieves 'Less than one percent' call volume in relation to bugs. He also blames the users lack of knowledge as a cause of some of these bugs. He goes on to say that the feeling of frustration that people hold towards bugs is a sociological issue, rather than technical saying that people complain about software bugs 'Because it's cool.' Read more in this interview." Boy, where do you even begin...
With that mentality, McDonalds will be next at saying people complain about tainted food, "because it's cool"....
hmmm... I never quite got the "coolness" factor of praying to the porciline god...
So I must write the coolest programs on the planet!
Yet another signature that refers to itself. The irony and humor is dead.
that people complain about software bugs 'Because it's cool.'
That's why they create so many of them. It's all for the customers.
And to think that I actually spent money on a shrink. Thanks for the free mental diagnosis Mr Gates!
Windows crashing is simply a power saving feature. It is your computer's way of telling you that you should be shutting your computer off at night.
Just like the blue screen of death is really the blue screen of rest. Bill Gates thought it would be usefull to force people to take breaks after doing lots of work. Haven't you noticed that your computer is much more likely to freeze when you just finished typing 30 pages of text (without backup of course) than after you just finished your first page.
I mean, 1995 old. Before BSOD even was invented.
Contrary to the popular belief, there indeed is no God.
Lack of user knowledge (or even the ability to infer) is a common problem in regards to bugs and other tech support related issues.
I do tech support for a local ISP and some of the calls we get are ridiculous.
Me:Okay, Click next. (On 7th screen of 'Internet Connection Wizard')
User: Alright, now it wants my username and passowrd.
Me: Type them in the appropriate blanks. Make sure password is case-sensitive.
User: I thought it was qwExEjv?
Me: Pardon me?
Later...
Me: What do you see now? (1235th screen of 'ICW')
User: The same thing as I did before, nothing has changed. Is this thing broken? Are you sure you're doing this right?
Me: You see the exact same thing? (perplexed)
User: YES.
Me: Oh. Click Next please.
User: Oh, you didn't say to click next.
I mean COME ON
Posting as directed.
Who the f***ing hell was that idiot that wanted to buy the blue screens?
In an interview for German weekly magazine FOCUS (nr.43, October 23,1995, pages 206-212), Microsoft`s Mr. Bill Gates has made some statements
Jeez, is Commander Taco THAT backlogged?
1. Me: Turn on your computer and when it is finished loading wait about ten seconds
Her: How long is ten seconds?
2. Me: Enter your 10 digit customer id (supposed to enter into box on screen).. i then hear him entering the 10 digits into the telephone
3. Me: What version of Windows do you have?
Her: What's Windows?
Me: You know, Microsoft Windows. What version of the operating system do you have?
Her: I've never heard of Windows
4. Me: Put the floppy disc into the drive
Him: Ok, let me open it noises...noises..noises
Him: This disc is round but the slot is a rectangle. I don't think it will fit.
Me: Um, did you actually take apart the floppy disc and remove it from its shell?
Him: Oh, yeah, was I not supposed to do that?
Above stories are all true and have happend within the last three months. Ah the joy of college part-time jobs as tech support.
Now hold on a second. It's not a bug it's a feature!
Why, if you'd only RTFA, you'd know that Microsoft has granted your wish. Any remaining bugs are a matter of faulty perception - yours. Find the interface convoluted? Maybe it's your BRAIN that's convoluted. Why, you're lucky they deign to allow you to purchase and use licences for their software at all.
Just as In Soviet Russia, when the system fails to work it's ALWAYS a matter of the inadequacy and weaknesses of the human users.
Face it, whining about minor bugs is now become an art form.
Complaining about bugs may or may not be cool, but complaining about people complaining about bugs becuase it's cool is not cool. I know that I am complaining about someone complaining about people complaining about bugs and I may not be cool, but it would be cool if there were less bugs and people didn't complain about bugs and people didn't complain about people complaining about bugs being cool.
Does your code read like this? Then it's probably got bugs. And that's not cool.
Reliable, Great Value Hosting: $7.95/mo 2.4G/120G
I mean, Code Red is just a user error. Same with the Nimba worm and blue screens of death.
They aren't exploits and flaws... they're FEATURES!
What a bunch of bullocks.
or links from slashdot apparently.
Atomic bomb ends war with Japan!
Slashdot editors discover that they can avoid duplicates by posting stories that predate slashdot!
and your comment will appear when they talk about what a bunch of tinfoil hat wearing kooks they are as well.
"We obviously need a new moderation category: (-1, Woo-fucking-hoo)" --Mr. AC
Maybe they saw the publicity Sun got from the 3 year old internal memo, and thought they'd try for some of that too.
Boy, I sure hope /. posts my submission! I heard that some guy named Kevin just got arrested for hacking - can you believe it???
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
"F$*# that...Punt it to Longhorn!"
Chris
I was once working help desk support for a large company. One of the users called in to say there was something wrong with her PC. We had all the machines available using a program called NetOP, which is similar to PCAnywhere or VNC. I asked her for her IP address then connected.
"OK, I can see you now. Show me the problem."
"You can see me?"
"Sure," I said. Then as a joke, "You've changed your hairstyle."
"How can you see me?"
"I'm just kidding. I can't see you, only the computer screen."
"But how did you know I changed my hairstyle?"
I don't think I ever completely convinced her that I couldn't see everything that she was doing.
Come on man, "I wish there were one fewer grammar Nazi" The only subjunctive mood remaining in the English language.
Head down, go to sleep to the rhythm of the war drums...
Reload the article. In big letters near the top it says "Slashdotters: yes, it's real."
heh.
And, following that logic, if someone breaks into a Windows-based server that handles "secure" financial transactions and steals the financial information of a few hundred thousand people, then I guess Windows should not have been running on that server.
:-)
I LOVE this logic!
All I want is a kind word, a warm bed and unlimited power.
Guy I worked with was a MOUS and hit a snag in MS Access. Since he was a participant in their expert helpline, he called MS to see if they could recommend anyone to help him. They said they'd check.
A half hour later he got a call from MicroSoft outlining his problem to him and asking if he had any clues as to why it was happening.
He finally realized they were calling him to answer his problem.
The opposite of progress is congress
This is something written by one of my professors, some time after Win 95 was released. I thought it is strangely appropriate for this occasion.
Date: Sat, 12 Apr 1997 06:03:30 -0400 (EDT)
From: Olin Shivers
To: sunday-lunch-list
Subject: Losing $35
Reply-to: shivers@ai.mit.edu
No lunch on Sunday, I am afraid.
Having just concluded a continuous 14-hour conversation with technical support people at Microsoft, my weekend plans have been altered to simply sleep.
The original topic was, "Why am I able to use my floppy drive in DOS, but not in Windows on the (brand new) Pentium box Hillary just bought, with the (brand new) Win95 installation?" Microsoft promised to resolve the issue, or refund my up-front consultation fee. Thirty-five bucks. (You're way ahead of me, I'm sure.) Did I mention this box had plug 'n play hardware and BIOS? Takes care of installation and configuration *automatically*.
Fourteen hours later, however, the issues had become much deeper and more richly textured. Hillary, who Just Doesn't Get It, wanted to break off the phone call and go return the system around hour five. And hour ten. I told her to shut the fuck up and go home. Things had gotten beyond "fixing" the "computer."
I did get to know three technical support staff rather well; I was certainly impressed by their perseverance and courteousness. They were a little frightened by my focus, I think -- senior technical consultant #3 kept checking the logs he'd gotten from junior technical consultants #1 and #2, and asking me if I'd really been having a continuous conversation since 2 pm. He also kept getting concerned that I was running up a painful phone bill. I told him it was OK, not to worry about it. I didn't tell him I'd managed to get in on an 800 number (which entitles me to chalk up the $35 I paid them as a "pyrrhic failure," I guess).
In the end, Win95 had been reinstalled 3 times, from scratch. Individual drivers had been downloaded off the net and installed dozens of times. The system had been rebooted on average once every 3 minutes, I would estimate, for well over half a day. At some point, each of my floppy, cd rom, serial ports, modem, and display had all worked. For one golden moment, they had all worked. But upon the next reboot, it all vanished, a fleeting, evanescent moment of forever-after unattainable satori.
Needless to say, neither the system nor the floppy drive now work. But I certainly learned a very valuable lesson from the experience, and one would have to be mean-spirited and churlish not to consider the $35 fee that currently remains on my credit card anything but a welcome reminder of such hard-earned wisdom. A cash mnemonic, as it were.
My current plans, beyond abandoning my friends for the weekend, center around going to Lechemere, and returning their Pentium system (which was really cheap, by the way -- it's truly remarkable what a bargain I got on the thing) by the simple expedient of hurling the box from the sun-roof of my car through some convenient plate-glass window, en passant.
I might add that when the revolution comes, and the mob at the factory gates drags Bill Gates screaming from behind the wheel of his Porsche 959, I, for one, will not be there to urge clemency.
Good night.
-Olin
Bush Lies Watch
While the interview does read a bit like an ambush, I got to admit it really pissed me off. For Mr. Gates to actually say " Luddites don't know how to use software properly" is just plain offensive to the point of absurdity.
Microsoft makes billions by designing software that doesn't require a degree in computer engineering to use. Their approach has always been one of "let's keep as much of this technical stuff out of the user's face as possible" (Hell, even the included "manuals" for Win9x and Win2K barely break 100 pages and most of that content is marketspeak along the lines of "What else do yuou want to do today"!), and the end result has been their near total dominance of the software market.
This approach has always been, and will probably continue to be their strongest marketing tactic. Unfortunately, it sounds as if Mr. Gates is beginning to learn that, as the complexity of the software increases, so does the need for some form of proper user education. Unfortunately, he does not seem to realize that he may himself be partly responsible for the absence of education that he decries.
Maybe a better question for Mr. Gates whould be: If you honestly think that "Luddites" don't know how to use software porperly, then why oh why are you working so hard to keep them in the dark?
I'm not tense. I'm just terribly, terribly, alert.
MS Bug #1
MX Bug #2
Why are you guys running an 8 year old article on your front page? Man, did you guys know that AOL bought CompuServe? Did you know that a new modem technology is coming out that's faster than 33.6kbps? The Giants and the A's are going to be in the World Series!!! Isn't that crazy?
They're not bugs, they are undocumented features. ;)