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10 Techno-Cool Cars
mrv writes "The IEEE Spectrum picks their '10 Techno-Cool Cars'. The article picks vehicles from the 2003 or upcoming model years, that feature significant jumps in performance, convenience, or comfort, are technologically bold, and otherwise cool (for engineers, not just the 'motorhead' type)."
Your YOU FAIL IT has FAILED! The grandparent is, in fact, the worst post.
However, if you ask nicely, I'll post some ASCII art of the Tubgirl, this stealing the WORST POST crown from Kate Fent's kickers full of fetid fromage.
Until then, however, YOU FAIL IT, Mr. YOU FAIL IT.
Man! I've been away for moths but I am glad to see that Slashdot still sucks.
- Moomin troll.
For the last year, I've been posting inflamatory messages under various handles. I'm not proud of what I've done, but I hope to explain my action so everyone can at least understand it.
When I first joined AOL, I hadn't had that much experience with the internet. I naturally gravitated to the politics forums, since I watch tv to keep myself informed of current events.
I was shocked by all the right wing rhetoric - people demonizing poor mothers, praising war and killing, outright racist and anti-semetic attacks, and constant ass kissing of the rich and powerful. I am an independent moderate, but I would post against these people and register my disapproval.
Of course, writing a well reasons response to rabid propaganda had the expected effect: just more attacks, and lots of insinuations that I was involved in sexual practices that I most certainly am not. But that just egged me on more. Soon I was frustrated and didn't know what to do.
After one particualarly obscene posting from someone claiming to be a Republican, I shot back a witty comeback in which I claimed to be a Republican too, and I took his idea to a ridiculous point that would offend all normal Americans. Reductio ad absurdem, as the Greeks would say. I expected him to call me names again, but I was shocked that he took me seriously, and told me he forwarded my posts to a few conservative friends. I was amused, a bit frightened, and really curious.
Then everything got out of hand. I started posting the most vile, crazy, semi-illiterate crap, and the Republicans and conservatives keep agreeing. I wrote that the ACLU was hell bent on destroying our country because they defend evil groups like the KKK. I said that Bill Clinton personally trained terrorists in Arkansas. I explained that Fox news is really centrist, but all the other large corporations were so hell bent on creating a socialist utopia that FOX seemed conservative in comparison. And I wrote that one black welfare queen was responsible for 2% of the 1998 federal budget, and posted a link to a long, complicated chart about accounting or something.
Since then, things have gone pretty well. I've got a blog now, I've been a semi-regular guest on a few talk radio shows, and I'm in discussion with Bantam for a book tentatively titled, Why Do You Hate America So Much?
Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you to all of you who responded, and especially those of you who took the time to respond. I think that was what kept me going, even when someone called me on that welfare link (boy, was that embarrasing!)
And I am truly very sorry for trolling.
I'll be signing copies of some of my most classic posts at Borders Bookstore in Tribeca March 3, 7:00 PM. See you there!
Karma: Bad (Mostly due to being such an asshole)
At subway, you get a sub prepared anyway you like, by the friendly, efficient staff. Choose from mouth-watering veggies, succulent meats and cheeses, and a variety of freshly-baked bread. Why not stop in today and pick up some subs for the whole family to enjoy. I suggest the Italian BMT, piled high with genoa salami, pepperoni, ham, and provolone cheese. Top it with lettuce, tomato, onion, and pickles, add a few spritzes of italian dressing and you've got a meal fit for king. Subway: eat fresh!
g to the oatse
c to the izzex
fo shizzle my nizzle click here (note: the site is currently down. I expect it to come back online around Thanksgiving) to dispatch Jared and his formerly overweight goons to crack down on Subway if they don't honor the $3.49 Troll Tuesday deal. Make sure you provide the store number and address. Mine is store number 5839. Don't believe me about the concept of the jared dispatch? Yahoo has an article about it here , although it is pretty light on the details.
Note: I've gotten a few comments that the link to Jared Dispatch doesn't work. I think the site got taken down because of abuse of the service. Although the site got taken down, I still highly reccomend Subway and their high quality subs. To show my appreciation, here is a link to Free Subway Coupons. I had to redirect it through Yahoo's site redirector, because my of the filter at work. Anyways, here is the link!
Note 2: I've received word that those links to yahoo actually point to goatse.cx. I am truly sorry about that, and I found the cause. A couple weeks ago, a hacker broke into yahoo and set up some scripts that redirect the user to goatse.cx if a file is in a certain directory. I accidentally tried to access a file in one of those haunted directories. I fixed the links (I have a cousin who works at yahoo), so they should bring you to the actual sites now, not goatse.cx. Update 10/28: The hacker, or should I say hax0r, actually has posted a page on yahoo on how he did it and how the goatse redirector works. It's a very good read. I suggest reading it soon before yahoo finds out about it and takes it down. Check it out ASAP!
Note 3: I am working on locating the articles using google's cache. It is taking some time because I don't remember the exact titles. However, I hope to have the links fixed and working very soon. Keep eating at Subway in the meantime, and request that they bring back the jalepeno cheese roll. It is a fanscrumptiously brilliant roll.
Note 4: To all those who think that sub is an incorrect term, I live in upstate NY, and we call it a sub here. There are no hoagies, grinders, po'boys, footlongs, heroes, or any other made up names. It's not hoagieway after all, its Subway.
Important: It is my duty to report to you, loyal low-threshold readers, of a very disturbing incident that happened to me last week. I went into subway at the normal lunch time, but instead of the standard line out the door, the restaurant was vacant. Normally, the queue doesn't concern me, since the crew knows enough to make me a footlong Italian BMT with my standard fixin's and have it ready at 11:30 sharp, on tuesdays. I approached the counter casually, when two bulky men appeared from each side of the potato chip display rack. They held me down, and Jared appeared from behind the counter. He took my preprepared footlong BMT and cracked an evil grin. The manager grabbed the bottle of italian dressing and lubed up my general ass area. Jared shoved the footlong Italian BMT repeatedly into my ass, mixing it with the chucks of feces that were in my bowels, until the fresh crisp veggies resembled brown spoiled food. I begged him to stop, but little did I know the torture waiting for me. He took the italian dressing, and squirted it into my pee hole. Now, it burns when I pee, and it hurts when I sit. I asked him why he was doing this, and he said that they had tracked me down for my abuse of the Jared Dispatch system. You see, Jared gets airsick, and his constant flying over the country has caused him to lose weight due to his vomiting on planes. Normally, this loss of weight would be a good thing, but Subway can't actually claim that he lost weight by eating Subway subs. They told him to put the weight back on and then lose it again by eating subs, somthing Jared does not want to do. As a result, they are the ones who closed down Jared Dispatch. I am begging you, loyal readers DON'T GO TO JARED DISPATCH ANY MORE. Thank you for your time. I have to go to Subway now, and tell them that I want less italian dressing on my footlong Italian BMT. Remember, if you don't eat at subway, then the terrorists win!
Fuck ya'll niggas. I gotz me a 83 caddilac el dorado. that be a coo car. niggers!
This story neglects a key area of automotive technology which will see fundamental changes in the years ahead: the user control. Currently, little has changed since the invention of the automobile in terms of the steering wheel/accelerator/brake/shift user interface paradigm. This is cumbersome for people to learn, and severely restricts the usage of automobiles for those with disabilities.
Some members of my research group have been working with major Japanese automakers (whose identity I am not at liberty to discuss at the moment) to apply concepts learned in video game design to driving cars. Instead of a cumbersome set of multiple controls, we are experimenting with a single two-axis controller, one axis controlling acceleration and braking in the up-down direction, and the other controlling steering in the left-right direction. Gear shifting is mapped to the start and select buttons. We're experimenting with a number of control devices, from the Power Glove to GameCube controllers as input effectors.
We believe that this research will lead to much more drivable and intuitively controllable autos, especially for a generation of drivers raised on video games, and will cause fewer accidents on the road, due to the intuitive nature of the control mechanisms and the ingrained neurological psycho-response actuations which have developed from extensive game playing. It will further open up driving to those who may not have all limbs working, but as long as one has thumb control, driving will be accessible to all. I look forward to seeing this coming revolution on the commericial market.
-- Samir Gupta, Ph. D. Head, New Technology Research Group, Nintendo Co. Ltd., Kyoto, Japan.
It seems like if you want to get good fuel economy you have to buy a car that takes 3 minutes to get to 60 mph, and handles like a shopping cart. I don't want an SUV (ford has a new hybrid suv) nor do I want an econobox. I want a car that has similar performance and styling to something like an celica/rsx type S/tiberon v6/accord v6/new edge cougar v6 (which I currently drive). Oh, and remembering the market, it must be below $25k. Ideally around $20k. (My Cougar was $18k loaded) Heck, I'd even settle for a 4 door sport sedan.
Yes, I'd even be willing to give up my beloved 5 speed gear box for this. 40mpg city in a fastish car would be nice. C'mon car makers, what's the deal?
... really, well, pussy cars? I mean, yeah, they'ev got techno gee-whiz gizmos, but what ever happened to good ol' displacement? I consider myself a bit of a car geek, and I just can't get into these computerized, plastic-ized, quiet little eco-friendly golf-cart type cars. They're just so damn boring, and emasculating. What ever happened to being able to work on cars with a socket set, some screwdrivers, and the occasional hammer? Am I the only one left?