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Sir Isaac Newton: The world Will End In 2060

Posted by timothy on from the this-just-in dept.

Rikardon writes "A professor at King's College in Halifax has discovered, among the papers of Sir Isaac Newton, a prediction by this 'most influential scientist who ever lived' that the world would end in 2060. Those narrow-minded souls who still believe that devout religious faith is incompatible with fervent scientific inquiry are probably unaware that Newton 'was a theologian who wrote well over a million words on Biblical subjects,' and who devoted 'something like 55 to 60 years' studying the Book of Revelation."

16 of 174 comments (clear)

  1. Einstein by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 3, Funny

    Yes, but Einstein's theory has the world ending in 2055.

  2. First Post! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    May as well go for first, since Last Post won't happen for another 57 years...

  3. Come on now by RedWolves2 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Bush only has a year left in office. The world will end before then!

    1. Re: Come on now by Black+Parrot · · Score: 2, Funny


      > Bush only has a year left in office. The world will end before then!

      Surely he can count on the 5 votes he needs for a second term?

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  4. yeah by sydlexic · · Score: 2, Funny

    this is all based on the flawed premise that your so-called 'belief system' has to be logical and self-consistent. hi, let me introduce you to the human capacity for rationalization.

  5. PROOF THAT NEWTON IS THE DEVIL!!!11 by tunah · · Score: 5, Funny
    One of these is 1,260 days, which Newton interpreted as 1,260 years, based on a day-per-year principle... Newton determined that 1260 date actually began in 800 AD. He then added 1260 to 800 to arrive at the date of 2060 for the Apocalypse.

    PROOF THAT NEWTON IS EVIL:

    N-E-W-T-O-N = 14+5+23+20+15+14 = 91

    Add this to the date of his death (1727): 1818

    Flip this upside down: 8181.

    Take away the year of his birth (1642): 6539

    Add GRAVITY (7+18+1+22+9+20+25=102): 6641

    Add 10 (newton had ten fingers): 6651

    Gravity is an inverse square law, operating in three dimensions so multiply by the inverse square of 3: 739.

    Subtract his age when he died (85): 654

    Add 24/3, the date this story was published if you're british (which he was): 662.

    Finally, add the number of laws of motion he created (3): 665.

    Fuck.

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  6. IN OLD ENGLAND by tunah · · Score: 3, Funny

    The world ends Newton!

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    Free Java games for your phone: Tontie, Sokoban
  7. Re:Yeah, right! by Sgt+York · · Score: 2, Funny
    Oh, and BTW, don't forget, you fscking xtian clowns used to burn people who think like me at the stake for our trouble

    Sorry about that, dude. Really, I wanted to stop them, but I was voted down. I did bring you burn cream, though, remember?

    --

    There is a reason for everything. Sometimes that reason just sucks.

  8. Wrong date by edbarrett · · Score: 2, Funny

    My Newton's going to have a problem in 2010. The ReadMe says the clock stops for the last time in 2920, but I'll probably have a HUD by then.

    Damn, I feel like I've been Newton trolling all day or something.

  9. Keeping busy... by umofomia · · Score: 4, Funny

    A man who died a virgin has to keep himself busy somehow. :)

  10. according to different sources by QEDog · · Score: 2, Funny
    Atari: the world will end in the 2600

    Hanoi: the world will end when you solve the 2^64 disks hanoi tower

    AOL: the world will end when you switch out from AOL

    Intel: the world will end in the 8086

    FF6: when kefka moves the towers

    --
    "There is no teacher but the enemy."-Mazer Rackham
    1. Re:according to different sources by Alsee · · Score: 2, Funny

      Microsoft: The world ain't done till Linux won't run.

      Intel/AMD: Intel says the end of the world will be in 3000 years. AMD says it will be in 20 years, but they point out that 20 AMD years is really the same as 3000 Intel years due to the year-myth.

      Slashdot: The world will end after 64 consecutive stories without a dupe.

      Max Headroom: The world will end 20 minutes into the future.

      Scientology: When Xenu escapes from his volcano prision.

      Capt. Kirk: The.... world.... will.... end.... when.... I.... finally.... finish.... speaking.... this.... sentence.

      Capt. Picard: Lets all get together and vote on it.

      Sisko: The world's not ending on MY watch dammit!

      Capt. Archer: Who knows? Continuity is shot to hell and the timeline is a mess.

      Bugzilla: When lines-of-code per bug triggers a division by zero error.

      RMS: The correct term is GNU/end_of_the_world.

      BSD: The world is dying!

      Steve Jobs: The end of the world is going to be Amazingly Great!

      Steve Spielberg: The end of the world will be re-written with a completely different ending.

      Java: For cross-platform compatability the world will end at the same time on all platforms, but it will happen slowly.

      C: The world will end faster than with Java, but it will have a buffer overrun vulnerability.

      C++: You can overload the end of the world, but the results are undefined and implementation specific.

      Perl: I wrote down exactly when the world is going to end, but now I can't read it.

      Ada: Can't tell you when the world will end because government specs require that data to be encapsulated.

      Amazon.com: People who wonder about the end of the world also wear Clean Underwear and Ladybug Rain Boots.

      Google: The world will end on the date the most people think it will end.

      Bill Clinton: My lawyer says that you'll have to define "the" before I can answer that question.

      The SciFi channel: The world will end again three hours later.

      Civ2 Civ3: The worls will end in 2020 or 2050, but you can continue with no further scoring.

      End of the world poll:
      o Today
      o Tomorrow
      o Next week
      o Next year
      o Never
      * Cowboy Neal

      -

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  11. Actually... by drivers · · Score: 3, Funny

    The world is going to end in 2060.000013. He forgot to account for general relativity.

  12. Re:Battle of Armageddon by 4of12 · · Score: 3, Funny

    In your calculations, did you account for the displaced volume of submerged bodies raising the level of the blood sea?

    That effect could make the apparent blood level higher for fewer bodies, much in the same way that adding bricks to your toilet tank decreases the volume of each flush.

    [I can't believe I'm even posting this...]

    --
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  13. Re:Not that we'll get there . . . by ptaff · · Score: 2, Funny

    Maybe Sir Isaac was only wrong about the beginning of the Epoch.

    Put it in late 1991 (oh, Linux's birth?) instead of 1970 and it the pieces fit perfectly.

    We can't blame him for foreseeing Linux and not GNU nor UNIX - after all, legend says he's been hit by an Apple - which indeed with OS X now shares the end of the world with all of us believers :)

  14. Gold poisoning by leonbrooks · · Score: 2, Funny

    Well, it's what alchemists hope to achive, Plumbium into Aurium, no? (-:

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