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Speeding up Evolution

DaytonCIM writes ""We can rebuild him. Make him stronger... faster..." Slate.com has a great article on next generation gene research that promises to build "Supermen" or "Superwomen" out of us all. Insulin-like Growth Factor genes to make us stronger without ever visiting a weight room. EPO to generate more red blood cells and enable us to run "forever." Engineered human "Blood" to speed up evolution, so that we become less susceptible to disease and injury."

12 of 408 comments (clear)

  1. Im such a coward by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    I saw this stuff about blood running and stuff, and I was like, OH DAMN!!! RUN!!! So I posted an anonymous message that means about as much to me as this "attention: medical science is still progressing" story. Wow.

    wow!

  2. wooooo by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    HAHAHAHA!!!!

  3. Finding and choosing the best anopractor by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    As we all know, finding employment these days doesn't have anything to do with how smart you are or how much you like what you do, it all boils down to the interview, and how much bullshit you can dish out. It also has to do with how much cock you can take 'back there', and this is where an anopractor can help you.

    What is an anopractor?
    In 1897, BJ Buttfuck discovered that by stretching his anus before an interview, he was able to take three cocks more than before. Since this is a "man do man" world we live in, this immediately led to a promotion and a new horseless carriage. Modern anopractic was born.

    The anopractor is a highly skilled professional that can take any anus and make it into an 'employment grade' anus. By manipulating the anus with his hands, the anopractor can make your anus fit a #4 Del Monte pineapple sideways, with the leaves still on!

    Nothing beats a stretched anus for any interview situation. When your future employer sees your anus and thinks "What a cum bucket! He's hired!", you'll know that anopractic has helped YOU.

  4. Leonitis? or just Leon by Ratso+Baggins · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    So if after all the hype dies down and it does some "unforseen" things, will the condition be known as Leonitis, or will you just be Leon(d)?

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    "we live in a post-ideological world..." - Billy Bragg.

  5. Re:Lack of diversity can kill us. by JanusFury · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Looks like someone altered your DNA to make you spell badly and forget to use the Shift key and apostrophes! I hope that doesn't make your immune system weak against leet speak!

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    using namespace slashdot;
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  6. Re:wooooo cxgrant@qwest.com cynthia.grant@qwest.co by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    cxgrant@qwest.com is horny

    cynthia.grant@qwest.com

  7. But by Exiler · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    More people are killed by sheep each year than by skydiving, and yet we still have shepards...

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    Banaaaana!
  8. Anybody Else Here Love Farting? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    God, I love farting! I love it when you've sat in a sulphuorous natural hotspring for an hour or so, sucking back a brew, then the next day you clear whole buildings with farts which smell like they were spawned on a particularly hot day in a rotten-egg manufacturing facility.

    I love wet farts too. Now, I know I've already implied that I like *all* farts, but I especially like wet ones. Just as I especially like sulphorous ones. But wet ones are just as satisfying. Wet farts let you have the satisfaction at the end of the day of seeing the yellowy-brown stains on the toilet paper. If you've been doing wet farts since early morning, and it's been a warm day, you often find that the wetness has dried to a crunchy consistency, and if you stand up to suddenly, you scream when the ass hairs are torn out at the roots. I love wet farts.

    Loud farts are fantastic. I rejoice when I do loud farts. Churches and lecture halls are the perfect places for them, especially when there are elderly women present. Nobody has mastered the look of supreme disgust like elderly women. Seeing them pinch their faces as they pointedly ignore the thunderous roaring and gluteous clapping echoing amidst the rafters is heavenly. Especially if you're in a church.

    Loud, wet stinky farts are a winning combination. Let them rip at a funeral. Make sure you raise a leg, and screw your face up with an intensity which will convince bystanders that you're about to shit out a small whale, and you're whole day is set.

    God, I love farting.

  9. Re:And now for a comment from someone who knows... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    Haha, very funny. We all know you don't really have a girlfriend.

  10. Speeding up the OTHER Evolution by BigBlockMopar · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    Speaking of Evolution, I really wish that Ximian would speed up theirs.

    It takes it 8 minutes to exit on my PIII-500. I refuse to believe that I should need to upgrade an e-mail drone beyond that.

    If there were truth in advertising, Ximian would have called it Continental Drift.

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    Fire and Meat. Yummy.
  11. Determined... by pyrrho · · Score: 0, Offtopic

    While it's debatable, I hold that the answer to that is determined, it's clearly relative. It's subjective and conditioned. The part that is not conditioned but is genetic, that's not particularly forgiven from being relative because it's genetic... we all have unique genes. Genes expressions are also relative.

    But there are lots of underlying reasons that form the subjective judgement, some are no doubt advantageous and may have been selected by evolution. So I don't have a comment on beauty being an ideal vs. being a variation from the norm. I just apreciated the question of if it was absolute vs. relative.

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    -pyrrho

  12. In soviet russia by gmuslera · · Score: -1, Offtopic

    ... gene modifies gene researchers! er... wait, nevermind, here also.