Slashdot Mirror
New Legit Napster Service Coming
Serith submitted a CNN story talking about the new
Napster Service. This is of course an attempt to legitimize music sharing. Provided the price point is fair and paying is convenient, I'll be first in line. Of course the odds of that happening seems awfully weak.
fp, you nazis!
This is not the first post so you may continue reading on.
frist psot bitches
i luv jon katz
he tosses MA SALADE
damn first posters...
Napster bankrupts YOU!
Walking along like this, alone, down these backalley store crowded streets, makes me feel - not really empty but missing something. Some sort of purpose. And the rain just makes it worse. There's this store I always go into. One of these throwbacks to mysticism and voodoo and black magic. All sorts of weird shit. Cards, stones, boxes, sand. All of it part of that underground sub-culture of mystics and believers. I don't really believe in much but fortune and destiny. Not that your life was mapped out by some all-powerful being, but that it's got a course set, just like all the other times you've lived your life. No one MADE it, but it's there, and no matter what you do, you end up going from point A to point B through course C and there's nothing you can do but live it. And some people have fortunate lives and some people have shitty lives. . . Mine's been pretty fortunate.
So I go into this store. It doesn't really have a name, it's just sort of THERE. The woman who owns it knows me by name now. Her name's Dorothy, really sweet. Always helpful. She's given me some great deals on stuff and taught me a lot about the cultures whose merchandise she sells. Well today, I walk in and she's got this odd smile on her face. Something's up. I mean, she's never cheated me or done anything illegal, but she's creeping me out today. "Hey Dorothy. How are you doing?"
"Oh, I'm fine dear. I've just bought something incredible. I think you'll like it. See if you can find it." She liked to do this a lot; tell me that I'd like something and make me look for it. All of it has been incredibly cool. So I wander around the tables and shelves along the walls. I see something moving out of the corner or my eye. Some sort of fluid, quick movement. Like the way a cat's tail swishes in the sunlight. I turn my head and see this brass canary cage. There's no swing in it, but instead, some rocks and a small box. Sitting on the box is a tiny devil, not more than 4 inches tall. He has a thin, pointed tail and delicate ebony horns. They remind me of the pincers on an earwig. Threatening like that. Sharp. He's rather handsome, muscular. Sinuous tendons, body like a dancer. I wondered what it would be like if I were 4 inches tall and kissed him. Would his tongue feel like fire? Would it be passionate? Would he fuck me like a purely evil beast? . . . God, what am I THINKING?! Jesus, I think he's getting to me. . . No, this can't be real. There's not such things as devils or gods or pushing your will on others. It's all mind fucking. Smoke and mirrors.
"He's beautiful Dorothy. Is he, I mean, is he real? He doesn't seem mechanical or anything."
"Oh, he's real. Very real. I picked him out myself. I knew you'd like him."
"Well how much? He must be awfully expensive. I couldn't imagine putting a price on a living BEING."
"Why not, we do it with animals." She had a point.
"Yes, but, well, he's so human." He had been sitting on a rock but now he stood up. He had a twisted black staff, almost like a toothpick. He climbed up onto the box in the middle of the cage and banged the staff down. It made a small tapping sound, but the way he stood and the way he held it made it seem like a loud echoing boom.
"I'm NOT a fuckin' pet. You tell that bitch to let me out of here before I rip her balls off with my teeth." His voice was raspy and deep. Not what you'd expect from such a tiny creature. It was almost erotic in a way. And yet smooth, as of from wine. His skin was that color. Like sweet red wine. . . Snap out of it. Jesus. "Jesus has nothing to do with it honey."
"I'm sorry?"
He looked up at me. Eyes like black holes, eerie. "I said Jesus has nothing to do with it."
"Don't mind him, he likes to play with people." Dorothy yelled from over by the counter. "I hear him in my mind too." She paused for a second, then her tone changed. "You like him, don't you? He's yours, you know. 20 dollars."
"20 dollars, are you serious?"
"I'm worth WELL over that, bitch. Man, cheap ass whore." The devil mumbled.
"Well, do you WANT to pay more dear?" How could I pass this up? A whole devil. All mine. I wondered if he had any powers and if he did, could he pass them on to me?
"Alright then. I'll take him." I picked the cage up in both hands so it wouldn't move around much.
"Damn straight you'll take me. You'd have to be a fuckin' moron to pass this up baby." And he thumped his fist against his naked chest. He wasn't wearing much. Just a black, velvety robe.
* * *
When I got home, I set the cage on my kitchen table. I felt giddy and excited. This was the buy of the century. "Let me out of here bitch. I hate this fuckin' cage. And these damn rocks. I need luxury. I need leather and silk and velvet and cashmere." "Are you always so rude?" I opened the cage door and he sauntered out tapping his staff along as he went. "Why couldn't you open the cage on your own? I mean, you have some sort of POWERS, right?"
"Yes, I'm always so rude, and yes, I do have powers. . . when I'm FREE. In captivity, well, I'm mortal. . . Now watch this." I stood back. He stretched his arms out and tilted his head back and soon began to levitate as if pulled from a string attached to his chest. He floated off the table so he was hovering above the floor in front of me. It was hard to tell, but it looked like he was becoming translucent. Like smoke. And then he WAS smoke. It began to dance and grow, until it was a thin stream coming from the floor to 6 feet above it. Then the smoke spread out and solidified and there the devil stood. All his 4 inch glory there towering above me. God, he was even more beautiful this size. His skin tight and glistening, his horns perfect and reflective. His eyes had lava and sin in them.
He grabbed me by the back of my neck and kissed me as I had never been kissed before. His tongue tasted like wine and sex and sent a flame of passion down my spine. I wanted him. I knew that now. I wanted him to ravish me and devour me. Whole. Alive. "Fuck me." I murmured, and he did. I screamed and moaned and begged for salvation. A steady stream of curses passed my lips and then he pierced me, past all barriers, past the edge, past the hard ground and down into the fiery depths of hell. It was pure untainted madness. I clenched my teeth until my gums bled and then I screamed at decibel levels off every scale.
I was left in a sweating pile of spent flesh and pleasure. Panting and broken. His serpentine tongue flicked out to paint my neck in glistening white wine and I slept for decades it seemed.
* * *
It went on like this for days. We fucked in the morning, in the afternoon, and in the evening. I finally quit my job. I began to drink heavily and often. And my skin tone darkened with every thrust of his evil cock. My days were spent in hate and contempt. When I went out, I glared at every passerby and muttered foul curses of disgust. I was angry at the world. I even hated God. I vomited when I stepped into church and great flashes of pain coursed through me with the mention of the Lord, God, angels, or heaven. Holy my ass. It was all bullshit. God was a hypocritical, egotistical son of a bitch. I spit on cathedral steps and took the Lord's name in vain every chance I had.
* * *
Soon I had my own tail and horns began to spout from my head. My hair darkened to a satanic black. I didn't need to eat anymore. I only craved carnal pleasure. I laughed at hatred and grew with every evil deed I witnessed. And the sex got better. I didn't bother with clothing anymore since I spent most of the day naked and pressed against my love.
"Juliet," my love grumbled in his endlessly deep voice, "I want to test your powers. Come with me." I followed him to where his old brass cage sat on the bookshelf. It still contained the rocks and the small box. "Do as I do. Spread your arms like a great eagle and think of nothing." I did so. His finger tips touched mine and soon I felt nothing at all. . . I heard his voice in my mind. "Collapse and open your eyes." When I did, I felt small and insignificant. Inferior to my surroundings only to find out that I WAS. My love flew into the cage and I followed him until we stood hand in hand inside the small brass cage.
"You did it darling, I'm so proud of you." He kissed me and stroked my face. "Now I must leave you." He disappeared then and the door on the cage slammed shut. My love reappeared outside the cage in his 6 foot splendor. He was pale now. Almost white. His hair brown. he looked. . . ordinary. Plain.
"My love, what's happened to you?" He laughed and told me to shut up. That I was the pet now.
* * *
Satan paid my love with a higher rank and sent him out to the streets to work. Then he put me on the shelf where I had originally found my love. I cursed at him as he morphed into Dorothy. His aura was slick with superiority and torture. "Keep your mouth shut bitch. You'll get yours soon enough."
Eat Shit and Die asshole, I got the first post!
This past year, I was accepted into Carnegie Mellon's [cmu.edu] School of Computer Science [cmu.edu]. It has been a remarkable experience that I would lik e to share with the Slashdot community. Here's an account of my experience.
Week 1, Sunday: I moved in today. My roommate, a sophomore CS student, had already moved in tw o days before me. The floor is already completely covered with garbage. He also smells. I think he might be gay too. He's already asked me if I like the color he painted his toenails. This should be interesting. I am almost completely settled in. Techno music is playing in every room in every floor of my dorm. There are computers and other types of trash out in the common areas. What a mess. Tom orrow, I am going to go sign up to get my network connection.
Week 1, Monday: I got hooked up to the CMU network today! I jacked into the network, only to f ind that the hostname and address assigned to me were colliding with another system. I'll just increm ent the network numbers a few times. I am really eager to get on.
Week 1, Tuesday: I am still looking for a free IP address. Can't anybody here properly configu re their systems?
Week 1, Friday: I finally found a free IP! It's mine! You sons of bitches can't have i t, I found it, I keep it, it's mine! To hell with all of you! Head hurts really bad. I've slowly be en developing a headache since I first arrived. Everywhere I look there are these Lucent Technologies wireless access points. I wonder if that's the problem.
Week 1, Saturday: I sat down at my computer today. My desktop wall paper is now the goatse.cx guy. Pleasant. Scattered over every directory on my C: drive are thousands, possibly millions, of fi les titled "J00AR30WN3DBITCH-phj33r-" and then some random hacker's name. Don't these people have liv es? Maybe they need laid or something. It'd take days to clean this out. I mentioned to my roommate that I needed to reinstall Windows, and immediately he jumped up and shouted: "NO! Do NOT use Window s!" Suddenly, two dozen other guys (all of them possibly homosexuals) appeared at the door, each tout ing an operating system called Linux. Half of them got into a fight over which was better, Debian, Re dHat, Slackware, and a bunch of others I couldn't recognize. Some kid who appeared to not have shower ed since he was born was touting "Linux From Scratch", saying that only losers used pre-made distros. A crowd of people in the back kept quiet about how I'd be sorry if I used Linux instead of BSD on the network. Who the fuck are these people? Classes start next week. Hope I have my computer working s o I can do my assignments.
Week 3, Friday: People are still trying to get Linux to work on my system. They keep telling m y that my hardware sucks. We go through about four or five distributions a day. Every now and then, I notice a little devil on my screen. Stickers for every of these distributions have been plastered o n my case. Suddenly, my room stinks a lot more with these people in here. I ask them why they never shower, and the usual response is something along the lines of "showering is like rebooting" and "I do n't want to lose my uptime."
Week 3, Saturday: There's a troop of men running naked in a circle around McGill Hall. I am no t even going to ask.
Week 4, Wednesday: Linux is FINALLY working on my computer! I have a pretty slick desktop too. I think I might like this. I can finally work in my room instead of the labs, although considering the every increasing layer of garbage on the floor...
Week 4, Thursday: My computer flashes messages about how I am "0WNX0RED" and how I should "PHJ3 3R" whoever and how "L4MEX0R" I am for having an insecure box. A kid suggests we reinstall Linux afte r discovering about 17 rootkits.
Week 5, Friday: Someone got BSD working on my computer. I wonder if this will last. The stres s has been building and I forgot to take a shower this morning.
Week 6, Tuesday: Seems I have been "0WNX0R3D" again. Took longer this time. Minutes later, so meone comes in with a "Bastile Linux" install CD. He gets started installing. I am feeling very susp icious of these guys.
Week 6, Thursday: Everyone seems to know more about my system than I do. It's a bit unnerving. I guess anyone could feel upset from this sort of treatment. They hack my box, trash it, then reins tall everything. I guess they think they're being funny. My dirty clothes are piling up and I am out of clean ones. I don't have time to do laundry, I'll have to wear something out of the pile.
Week 6, Friday: I got up this morning, sat at my machine, and stared at it blankly. An icon ap peared on my desktop for Quake III. I suppose it couldn't hurt to play some. I have been very stress ed lately.
Week 6, Sunday: I lost track of time! I started playing Quake III on the network with some oth er CMU students (who killed me hundreds of times in the course of 10 minutes) and completely lost myse lf. There's a bag of chips that has been sitting here for a few weeks. I think I'll finish those off for breakfast and then go to sleep.
Week 7, Wednesday: I masturbate every day now. Not a single girl comes near me. This is so de pressing. Do I really smell? Oh well, I have the task of learning how to secure my Linux box to keep me busy. Who has time for the opposite sex after all?
Week 8, Tuesday: I got into a fight with this little shit who kept telling me RedHat was great. What a fucking moron! Anybody who knows Linux knows that Debian kicks its sorry little ass. I'll b e getting my judiciary papers for the incident in the mail. Doesn't this school get it? I can't let someone go around converting people to RedHat! WtF!?
Week 8, Friday: My roommate squeezed my ass today! At first I was shocked and appauled, and I told him off for it. Thinking about it later though, there was just something that seemed too strong about my reaction. I'll talk to him later and appologize for getting so upset, it wasn't really so ba d.
Why bother.
I Insit that the summary is not very "insiteful"
Worst. Sig. Ever.
Go home and put a gun in your mouth, because you don't deserve to live.
Or I'm going to be fucking upset.
Upset enough to kill!
Shouts to D to the Motherfucking C!
I emailed Taco, as he requested. Oh well.
sulli
RTFJ.
Two questions:
* Does audiogalaxy still have the volume it used to?
* If music industry is not losing money due to sharing does that mean that we should not respect the copyright holders?
If you're looking here for something insightful or thought provoking, you're probably looking in the wrong place.
OKAY PEOPLE I NEED YOUR ATTENTION
<spigot> KINDLY STOP WHATEVER IT IS YOU'RE DOING AND LISTEN UP
<spigot> THIS IS GOING TO AFFECT EVERYONE IN THE DEPARTMENT
<pants> HOLY GOD
<spigot> FAT BALLS
<spigot> SO YOU KNOW WE MEAN BUSINESS
Why bother.
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