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Contractor Proposes Laser Rifles for US Military
The Fryar writes "Well, folks, it looks like the future really is now! It seems the Defense Review has uncovered a submission by Stavatti, a sort of "free market" defense contractor, to the military for a laser rifle. The submission comes in response to the Army's LFLAN requirement - the quest to provide "Light Fighter Lethality After Next" technology, or lasers/phasers/sabers/advanced weapons for use some 20 years down the road. Needless to say, I also considered the category "Star Wars Prequels" for this article."
Now attach them to shark's heads.
I also here that the BFG isn't far behind...
I see my grandson reading Slashdot and he clicks on a post titled "Contractor Proposes Death Star for US Military" from the that's-no-moon dept.
He's reading it....he clicks to enter a post...he posts a link to goatse. Damn. My grandson is a troll.
That will be used unless the evil ones are really evils, and turn off the bit disregarding RFC and Geneva conventions, in that case the good ones will change the bit to look different.
Fortunatelly they will not be used in the Iraq war, because invaders (the ones that you traditionally call evils) and iraqis (the evil ones according to US) will use the same color.
"Before a weapon like the TIS-1 could be adopted, a number of technichal hurdles would have to be successfully negotiated, such as..."
1. Getting the guns to make that "Peww!" sound whenever they shoot.
2. Making the lasers shoot at a slow enough velocity so that you can actually watch it travel from the end of the barrel to the target in no less than 0.4 seconds. This way massive hallway gun-fights involving garbage-shoot-getaways look that much cooler.
Personally, I'm with it just as long as they make one that looks like a broomhandle mauser.
No kaboom? There was supposed to be an earth-shattering kaboom! I vote to name this the Illudium Pu-36 Explosive Space Modulator.