Tax Tips For Small Folks?

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Posted by ryuzaki0 on Saturday April 12, 2003 @10:07AM from the last-minute-pleading dept.

An anonymous "The tax deadline is fast approaching (here in the USofA). Like some of you, I have a small business on the side. Since I haven't figured out the 'step 2' yet (the one before 'step 3: profit!!!'), my revenues were zero for all of last year, and the expenses were just about zero too. What is the quickest and least painful way for a person in my situation to do his taxes? I don't want to spend 100s of dollars going to a paid professional, just to have him put all zeroes in the form. If you have done your taxes and are a small business (C-corp, don't ask why...), do you have any tips?" This is also your chance to offer all the heretofore unsolicited tax advice you've been bottling up all year.

10 of 345 comments (clear)

Hmm by rzbx · 2003-04-12 10:13 · Score: 3, Funny

Sell drugs. Its risky, but supposedly the profits are great. The best thing is you don't have to worry about taxes, just skip them altogether. You'll be out of luck if they decide to legalize and tax it though. Jail time, risk of getting shot, etc. are all bad things as well. Then again, stick to whatever your doing. Sorry I can't help with your taxes.

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Question everything.
1. Re:Hmm by Lionel+Hutts · 2003-04-12 10:35 · Score: 3, Funny
  
  Interestingly enough, drug dealers are the only people in the world who the U.S. tax system does not give a deduction for ordinary business expenses. (There is legislative history, though, that this is not meant to disallow the subtraction of cost of goods sold.) If you're in the murder-for-hire business, make sure you don't also deal drugs, or you run the risk the IRS will think your bullets are for defense of your drug territory and disallow your deduction for them.
  
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Tax Tips For Small Folks? by TC+(WC) · 2003-04-12 10:13 · Score: 4, Funny

Looking at the headline, my first though was "Wow, what special tax needs do midgets have?"
1. Re:Tax Tips For Small Folks? by SpaceLifeForm · 2003-04-12 10:22 · Score: 4, Funny
  
  They can only fill out the short form.
  
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  You are being MICROattacked, from various angles, in a SOFT manner.
Jeopardy by Future+Linux-Guru · 2003-04-12 10:14 · Score: 5, Funny

I have no revenue

The question, Alex Trebek, is:

"Who is RedHat?"
Tax tips for small folks by rat7307 · 2003-04-12 10:23 · Score: 1, Funny

Once this has been answered, howsabout some tax tips for us taller folks????

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Burma?
Switch from normal to ritual murder by sam_handelman · 2003-04-12 10:41 · Score: 2, Funny

Firstly, if you gruesomely eviscerate your victims for religious purposes (instead of just on a whim) you can be a religion. You need at least three accomplices, if I recall correctly, to serve as treasurer and suchnot. If they complain on "principled" grounds about your savage murders of children, point out the tax benefits this accrues for them. This tactic works best on MBAs.

Secondly, remember to keep the children alive in cages for months in your basement. This way, you can claim them as dependents. ALSO, your house becomes a business expense.

Finally, you'll want to sell a few "insurance policies" to small farmers*. I recommend collaborating with your local Mafia Don in this, since farmers generally don't want to buy insurance from serial killers, and since the Mafia can help with the fundamentally cash-poor nature of ritually murdering children lured over the internet, which is of course a fine and laudible goal but still lacks an effective "business model."

* This is an actual tax loophole. If your primary business is selling insurance policies to farmers, and you meet some other requirements, you don't have to pay federal taxes. Recently this loophole has been heavily abused, but I can't find the reference. Anyone?

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The good and new comes from no quarter where it is looked for, and is always something different from what is expected.
Re:Why it's easy... by villain170 · 2003-04-12 10:42 · Score: 3, Funny

government gives you money

Whoa.. what a novel concept? How come you didn't include a link where I can sign up for this "free" money ????

I don't know much about the tax system, but I do know many things in life aren't free. What's the catch here?

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I am over here... now I am back over here!
Re:And I thought... by Alsee · 2003-04-12 13:50 · Score: 4, Funny

And I thought the people that sought legal advice on Slashdot were nuts...
Asking for tax advice on here is taking it to another level...

I have this little lump on my leg, under the skin. It doesn't really hurt or anything, but it feels sort of wierd. It's been there for a few months now. It's bigger than a pea, maybe the size of 2 or 3 peas. It isn't really hard, but it's not really soft either, I guess it's sort of firm-ish.

I was wondering if I should have surgery to have it removed? Is it some sort of tumor? Could it be cancer? Or is it just a harmless bump that will go away? I'd post a photo of it, but my server can't take a slashdotting.

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- - You can't take something off the Internet! That's like trying to take pee out of a swimming pool.
Find a good accountant who needs computer help by phillymjs · 2003-04-12 16:42 · Score: 2, Funny

Every year, my accountant does my taxes, and he gets one free maintenance visit from me for his computer in exchange.

I prefer to let him handle my taxes, because he knows all the tips and tricks to minimize my payment/maximize my refund, and I don't have to dick around with forms and receipts other than throwing them all in a folder to give to him. He prefers to let me service his computer, because I know all the tips and tricks to keep it humming along, and he doesn't have to dick around with Windows/driver/application/virus definition updates and whatnot other than to make a short list of any problems he's having.

~Philly