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Apple Posts Earnings, Denies Bid for Universal
Lars T. writes "A number of things: Apple posts Q2 results, and denies it bid for Universial Music. Now a Register article quotes a Reuters article that 'Vivendi Universal director Claude Bebear didn't express his views on the merger talks between Vivendi's Universal Music Group (UMG) and Apple,' which was the claim of the Bloomberg article. Now who needs General Hospital?"
Thanks for your letter. Being Catholic myself, I know exactly what you're talking about! It has always been our plan here at Apple Computer Inc to revolutionize personal computing with our high-quality and highly gay products.
I'm happy to answer your letter by letting you know that YES we will be releasing an entire hLife ("homo-life") software line. You'll be able to recognize it in stores by the small stylized logo depicting a large cock entering a tight anus with an Apple logo on it. ("Suddenly it all comes together" indeed!).
Anyway, I hope you and other members of our community will join us on our mission, and purchase the exciting new hLife boxed set. Only the boxed set comes with translucent cock rings!
Sincerely,
Harry Rodman
Vice-president
Homosexual Liaison Services
Apple Computer, Inc.
The processors may be having issues right now, but I can do everything that I personally need to do fast enough for me. Oh, so you like to buy a computer than won't have much longevity to it. It runs OK for now...but there is one thing that will always happen--newer software will continually require more processing power for to perform the newer tasks. People talk of how long Apple HW lasts...But since OSX is such a hog and the HW is underpowered compared to PCs, the computer is/will feel sluggish. Put System9 on it, and it will run incredibly fast. The new Matrix trailer was released and some relatively new (cough *ibook* cough) Macs had issues running the ultra hi res. I have a PC that is 1.5 years old and it ran the quicktime trailer without a glich. I'll probably get modded as a troll, but I have been in the market for quite a while for a new Mac, and they always seem to cripple the hardware in my price point. Remember the monitor spanning for the ibook (don't want it to tread on the pbook)? Now there is a USB2 chip on the pmacs, but Apple won't allow that to be used. Sorry but $1800 for a 12" notebook is too darn expensive...and you MUST spend at least $1600 to get a 14" *book... Apple wants a premium (over PCs) for their products. Then they need to put out a premium product, not a crippled product. (What's with the scant memory...memory is cheap! Put in a realistic amount.) /RAN