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Apple To Make "Music To Your Ears" Announcement
supa_k writes "According to an offical Apple invitation sent to the good folks at
MacCentral, on April 28th
Apple will make 'announcements that will be music to your ears.' It remains to be seen if this involves a purchase of Universal - something Apple offically denied just a few days ago but it will undoubtedly be the announcement of their online music subscription service and the other announcement will surely be new iPods."
...that it's really just going to be an opportunity to get drunk with Jobs and listen to Doobie Brothers really loud
I checking out the Apple booth at MWNY '02 when this teenager walked up to the Apple rep and asked where the new G5s were. He said that he read on the Internet that they had been released. The Apple rep was like, "Um, no. We didn't announce anything that even sounds like G5." The kid was adamant that they had been released. Shows you what people will believe.
--Mike
I started to write something here, but I erased it 'cause it was not as clever as I entended it to be, and I lost my train of thought.
Go, Jobs!!!
(groan. monday.)
Schrodinger's cat is either dead or really pissed off...
Remember kiddies...mall employees thousands of miles from Apple HQ know all of the company's secrets!
Steve personally calls each and every retail employee every night with the latest "dirt"!
When a retail employee says "I don't know" or "Apple hasn't announced a G7, you weirdo", they are actually saying "Apple confirms your suspicions. Please post on SpyMac."
A press release announcing that there will be some announcement made next week, and it's a frontpage story on Slashdot?
News sure ain't what it used to be.
When all you have is an axe, everything looks like a grindstone.
What, nobody is predicting that the announcement will be that Apple's decided to port OSX to x86 architecture? Crap. I guess I'll have to satisfy myself with these themes and programss for Windows XP until Apple decides to appease me.
Mod my comments down. It'll be fun.
Money has this magical way of making obstacles disappear.
pooptruck
...something Apple offically denied just a few days ago...
Who is their spokesman, Iraqi Information Minister Mohammed Saeed al-Sahhaf (aka Baghdad Bob)?
Karma: The shiznight, mostly because I am the Drizzle.
/me only trusts crazyapplerumors.com
Reuters - Apple Computer Corp (APPL) has announced in a smashing pre-lunch event at its flashy new store in SOHO that the upcoming announcement will focus on the debut of its new pseudo-sentient home robot, capable of interfacing via bluetooth with home devices such as cell phones, bluetooth enabled computers, and the next generation of home appliances.
;)
The product is scheduled to launch with the name "iRobot....."
*DUCK*
When in doubt, parenthesize. At the very least it will let some poor schmuck bounce on the % key in vi. (Larry Wall)
air breathing fuel cells don't need to be recharged that often. of course they don't exactly exist in the consumer market, yet. but mark my words, one day...
Beer Die is the game of champions Learning To walk my own path.
Unless, of course, they announce that they've found a way to broadcast electricity over Bluetooth. Now that would be worthy of a week's notice!
There they were, sitting in the van with all those dials, and the cat was dead. -V. Marchetti, CIA
Yeah, that deserves a Slashdot article.
Posting an announcement of an announcement about an up comming announcement.
;-)
"This just in! More news will come in later, story at 11"
Maybe fuel cells that are powered by ear wax.
No, Apple is going with AAC. I think slashdotters tend to overestimiate the importance of OGG. Like "if only Apple would add OGG support to their iPod they'd sell a million more of them! Shooting themselves in the foot again. WTF is their problem??" Reality: if they did go to the trouble and expense nobody* would notice.
* Well not "nobody" exactly. About 27 people on slashdot would notice, but only after arguing viciously for months about whether or not Apple implimented it correctly, after which approximately 2 of those 27 would actually purchase an iPod.
You like your Macintosh better than me, don't you Dave? Dave? Can you hear me Dave?
That would be music to my ears
WAV :-P
.wav is now more of a container than a real format)
(note to nitpickers: i know
(1) Get involved with something radical
(2) Deny involvment
(3) Accept involvment
(4) ???
(5) Profit!
So rise up, all ye lost ones, as one, we'll claw the clouds.
I'm *sure* the judge is going to look favorably on your stalking of those executives if you say it was for a good purpose, to keep the Slashdotters updated. ;)
THAT would be music to my ears.
Score: -9, Way Way Too Accurate
They're looking for more market penetration, don't ya know.
--- Ban humanity.
Recently, Apple Computer was approached by beings from the Planet Zog. Zog is the richest planet in known space and all its inhabitants are so intelligent that it has no concept of intellectual property, since anybody is capable of inventing anything he, she or it needs as and when necessary. All Zog software is Open Source, mostly written in VLIW assembler by users as and when required.
Unfortunately the Zog economy is somewhat overheated, despite a rise in income tax to 99%, and Zog is looking for a way to lose some cash. They have offered to merge Apple with a Zog publicly owned corporation called "We really are Universal Music" (ZSE: WRUM), the present stockholders of Apple to retain 51% of the equity.
The idea is to introduce a music-on-demand service by which music will be directly downloaded from Zog. Zog has no equivalent of the DMCA since even the cheapest Zog pseudopodheld can crack any form of encryption on the fly, and has been recording the entire data output of the Earth for the last hundred years on the Ogg recorder in some Zog kid's bedroom. To encourage takeup of the service. the new corporation will give away all its hardware and software free for the next 20 years, and offer to replace all Macs in the field free of charge with new terahertz systems running OS MDCLX.
Jobs then demonstrated the new direct thought to text input PowerBook G93000 which projects a virtual reality 3-D image into the entire visual field, runs for a year on an AAA battery and weighs half an ounce.
Following the announcement, Microsoft shares rose $3 and Apple shares were $12 down at close of trading. The usual suspects predicted the demise of Apple within 3 weeks, citing the failure to keep up technically with the PC market, and Steve Jobs was slightly injured by a troll from slashdot complaining about file copy speed on a 9600/300. ...try to keep posts on topic
Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
1. Blasted to atoms in a trench in the Tora Bora mountains.
2. Squashed into jelly under the rubble of a bombed-out restaurant in Baghdad.
3. The Greenbriar, in West Virginia.
4. Syria.
Can't wait for a bluetooth tasp! Make my day, baby!
Well, this has only been in the rumor mills for about three months now. I guess you feel even more stupid than you already did, now, don't you?
whoops, that would be the "music for your pants" announcement... my bad.
...what color will the eighth notes be on the iTunes 4 icon?
Etiquette is etiquette. He kills his mother but he can't wear grey trousers.
(1) Get involved with something radical
(1a) Stock value decreases
(2) Deny involvment
(2a) Stock value decreases
(3) Accept involvment
(3a) Stock value decreases
(4) ???
(4a) Stock value decreases
(5) Profit!
(5a) Stock value decreases