Dear Apple
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Dear Apple,
I am a homosexual. I bought an Apple computer because
of its well earned reputation for being "the" gay computer. Since I have
become an Apple owner, I have been exposed to a whole new world of gay
friends. It is really a pleasure to meet and compute with other homos such
as myself. I plan on using my new Apple computer as a way to entice
and recruit young schoolboys into the homosexual lifestyle; it would
be so helpful if you could produce more software which would appeal
to young boys. Thanks in advance.
with much
gayness,
Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day, S.J.
Dear Father Randy O'Day
by
Anonymous Coward
·
· Score: -1, Offtopic
Dear Father O'Day:
Thanks for your letter. Being Catholic myself, I know exactly what you're
talking about! It has always been our plan here at Apple Computer Inc
to revolutionize personal computing with our high-quality and highly
gay products.
I'm happy to answer your letter by letting you know that YES we will be
releasing an entire hLife ("homo-life") software line. You'll be able
to recognize it in stores by the small stylized logo depicting a large
cock entering a tight anus with an Apple logo on it. ("Suddenly it all
comes together" indeed!).
Anyway, I hope you and other members of our community will join us on
our mission, and purchase the exciting new hLife boxed set. Only the
boxed set comes with translucent cock rings!
Sincerely,
Harry Rodman
Vice-president
Homosexual Liaison Services
Apple Computer, Inc.
Interestingly enough, various scientific studies have been conducted upon wide cross-sections of the male H. Sapiens population to determine the psychological motivations behind irrational, sometimes violent anti-homosexual behavior, also known as fag bashing in common colloquial American English.
A vast majority of these studies have returned an all but irrefutable stream of evidence - that most all fag bashers are in fact harboring latent homosexual urges - and instead of directing the suppression of those urges solely upon themselves, project said suppression upon others.
It's only logical to presume that the evidence that's been returned can be extended to incorporate those who deride Macintosh users as being "Homosexuals" on online forums and billboard systems. Not only are these people likely harboring latent homosexual urges themselves, but a latent desire to use or adopt the Macintosh platform as well.
*-*-*-*
Interestingly enough, various scientific studies have been conducted upon wide cross-sections of the male H. Sapiens population to determine the psychological motivations behind irrational, sometimes violent anti-homosexual behavior, also known as fag bashing in common colloquial American English.
A vast majority of these studies have returned an all but irrefutable stream of evidence - that most all fag bashers are in fact harboring latent homosexual urges - and instead of directing the suppression of those urges solely upon themselves, project said suppression upon others.
It's only logical to presume that the evidence that's been returned can be extended to incorporate those who deride Macintosh users as being "Homosexuals" on online forums and billboard systems. Not only are these people likely harboring latent homosexual urges themselves, but a latent desire to use or adopt the Macintosh platform as well.
*-*-*-*
Interestingly enough, various scientific studies have been conducted upon wide cross-sections of the male H. Sapiens population to determine the psychological motivations behind irrational, sometimes violent anti-homosexual behavior, also known as fag bashing in common colloquial American English.
A vast majority of these studies have returned an all but irrefutable stream of evidence - that most all fag bashers are in fact harboring latent homosexual urges - and instead of directing the suppression of those urges solely upon themselves, project said suppression upon others.
Uh. Let's see, let me get this straight. I'm telling you you're fucking stupid, so you conclude that I must be "some greasy faced, sweatshirt wearing, pasty Mircosoft intern."
We'll perhaps you work for a fast-food joint, but you get the idea.
That's one hell of an imagination you've got there, sparky.
Thank you.
Now get back to work.
--
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.
I am a homosexual. I bought an Apple computer because of its well earned reputation for being "the" gay computer. Since I have become an Apple owner, I have been exposed to a whole new world of gay friends. It is really a pleasure to meet and compute with other homos such as myself. I plan on using my new Apple computer as a way to entice and recruit young schoolboys into the homosexual lifestyle; it would be so helpful if you could produce more software which would appeal to young boys. Thanks in advance.
with much gayness,
Father Randy "Pudge" O'Day, S.J.
Thanks for your letter. Being Catholic myself, I know exactly what you're talking about! It has always been our plan here at Apple Computer Inc to revolutionize personal computing with our high-quality and highly gay products.
I'm happy to answer your letter by letting you know that YES we will be releasing an entire hLife ("homo-life") software line. You'll be able to recognize it in stores by the small stylized logo depicting a large cock entering a tight anus with an Apple logo on it. ("Suddenly it all comes together" indeed!).
Anyway, I hope you and other members of our community will join us on our mission, and purchase the exciting new hLife boxed set. Only the boxed set comes with translucent cock rings!
Sincerely,
Harry Rodman
Vice-president
Homosexual Liaison Services
Apple Computer, Inc.
is English your second language?
what a fucking mess!
.__________________________________________. ,^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h^h. | /__| // gggg_ ___________| /_______| ______ / @)gBggg ___________| /- A______/::| __________|
.__________________________________________.
|Meanwhile, _______ |______________________|
|in mom's basement: |________________ ^____|
|___________________| _______________/ \ __|
| _________________ / -Sweety! I asked- \ _|
| _________________ |you to take out the| _|
| _________________ \ garbage YESTERDAY!/ _|
| __________________ '_________________' __|
|
||NOT NOW, MOM! I'M PASTING "FATHER PUDGE"||
|\ >> AND GOATSE.CX TROLLS ON SLASHDOT!>>/ |
|_\________________ ^__________________
|______ _____ _____\/ __ --- ______________|
|____ / _____| ____ \_
|___
|___/ _______| _______ ) jg gg_ ___________|
|___| _______| ______ & ____/ _____________|
|___\________| _>c>c>c>c>c _\ - ___________|
|______/___\__/U_>c>c>c>c> _ |:| __________|
|deskdeskdeskdes| ____| ____ |:| __________|
|kdeskdeskdeskde|_ __/ _____ |:| __________|
|skdeskdeskdeskd|
Interestingly enough, various scientific studies have been conducted upon wide cross-sections of the male H. Sapiens population to determine the psychological motivations behind irrational, sometimes violent anti-homosexual behavior, also known as fag bashing in common colloquial American English.
A vast majority of these studies have returned an all but irrefutable stream of evidence - that most all fag bashers are in fact harboring latent homosexual urges - and instead of directing the suppression of those urges solely upon themselves, project said suppression upon others.
It's only logical to presume that the evidence that's been returned can be extended to incorporate those who deride Macintosh users as being "Homosexuals" on online forums and billboard systems. Not only are these people likely harboring latent homosexual urges themselves, but a latent desire to use or adopt the Macintosh platform as well.
*-*-*-*
Interestingly enough, various scientific studies have been conducted upon wide cross-sections of the male H. Sapiens population to determine the psychological motivations behind irrational, sometimes violent anti-homosexual behavior, also known as fag bashing in common colloquial American English.
A vast majority of these studies have returned an all but irrefutable stream of evidence - that most all fag bashers are in fact harboring latent homosexual urges - and instead of directing the suppression of those urges solely upon themselves, project said suppression upon others.
It's only logical to presume that the evidence that's been returned can be extended to incorporate those who deride Macintosh users as being "Homosexuals" on online forums and billboard systems. Not only are these people likely harboring latent homosexual urges themselves, but a latent desire to use or adopt the Macintosh platform as well.
*-*-*-*
Interestingly enough, various scientific studies have been conducted upon wide cross-sections of the male H. Sapiens population to determine the psychological motivations behind irrational, sometimes violent anti-homosexual behavior, also known as fag bashing in common colloquial American English.
A vast majority of these studies have returned an all but irrefutable stream of evidence - that most all fag bashers are in fact harboring latent homosexual urges - and instead of directing the suppression of those urges solely upon themselves, project said suppression upon others.
It's only logical to p
Uh. Let's see, let me get this straight. I'm telling you you're fucking stupid, so you conclude that I must be "some greasy faced, sweatshirt wearing, pasty Mircosoft intern."
We'll perhaps you work for a fast-food joint, but you get the idea.
That's one hell of an imagination you've got there, sparky.
Thank you.
Now get back to work.
Moneyed corporations, non-working 'poor' and criminal prisoners are turning productive citizens into tax-slaves.