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Enterprise Getting New Aliens, Hairdos, Weapons

Posted by CmdrTaco on from the i'm-still-watching dept.

Steve Krutzler writes "The news about Enterprise's radical "new direction" for its third season is going mainstream on May 10th in TV Guide. Rick Berman reveals that the season finale will bring about major changes in the struggling Star Trek series for next year including new aliens, new weapons, new hairdos and a mission he calls a Star Trek "first."" I've felt like the show has been slipping all season, so here's hoping.

14 of 602 comments (clear)

  1. A Star Trek "First"? by Ieshan · · Score: 5, Funny

    What's going to happen, a trekkie is going to lose his virginity?

    1. Re:A Star Trek "First"? by NineNine · · Score: 4, Funny

      What's going to happen, a trekkie is going to lose his virginity?

      Sure that could happen... in an episode where they travel to an alternate dimension.

    2. Re:A Star Trek "First"? by anonymous+loser · · Score: 4, Funny

      This is exactly why I watch the show. I like to think of it as Enterprise, starring Jolene Blalock's Ass.

    3. Re:A Star Trek "First"? by Motor · · Score: 4, Funny

      You didn't see the trailer after last night's episode?

      No... I'm in the UK.

      Apparently they ARE going to involve the Borg.

      Oh dear. They really do need new writers, don't they.

      --
      We all know that crap is king
      Give us dirty laundry!
    4. Re:A Star Trek "First"? by lobsterGun · · Score: 4, Funny

      The only way the a Borg prequel episode would work would be if they were antiques Borg based on vacuume tube/hydraulic technology. Hell! even I would tune in for that!

      [ excerpt from script ]
      Evil Pre-Borg carrying a bicycle pump and a light bulb approaches a crewman.

      Crewman: Dude! what the hell are you doing?

      Pre-Borg: I'm assimilating you. Please do not resist (attempts to jam lightbulb into crewmans neck)

      Crewman: OW! goddammit! enough with that lightbulb already!

      Pre-Borg: It's not a lightbulb, It's a vacuum tube.

      Crewman: Whatever Poindexter. (Punches pre-borg. The sound of glass shattering is heard)

      Pre-Borg: Fuck! (slumps to the ground)

  2. It's dead, Jim. by whig · · Score: 4, Funny

    says it all

    --
    Peace and love, y'all
    1. Re:It's dead, Jim. by CleverNickName · · Score: 5, Funny

      More like:

      "It's dead Jim, let's kick it around some more."

      "It's dead Jim. But this is StarTrek, so we can solve the problem by 'modulating the frequency'."

      More like, why don't YOU modulate the frequency, NERD?
      (only funny if you are a regular reader of the Strongbad Emails, particularly this one.)

      For everyone else:

      Speaking from experience, I can tell you that the best way to fix any problem is to modify the sensor array to emit an inverse tachyon pulse into the heart of the anomaly.

      Or go ask Data, but ask him while he's in the Holodeck playing Sherlock Holmes.

  3. Sex it up! by ChuckleBug · · Score: 5, Funny

    Don't get me wrong - I like hot babes in form-fitting clothes and all, but after Seven of Nine and T'Pol, how about a hot babe with all the nice bits PLUS an actual PERSONALITY? Sure, the physical goods are there, but their behavior isn't exactly sexy.

    "Captain, it is 1300 hours. Time for our afternoon copulation."

    Then again, since ratings are down, try a proven formula: Have Archer shave his head, grow a beard, and bring in Worf!

    1. Re:Sex it up! by nurightshu · · Score: 4, Funny

      The disturbing juxtaposition of the subject line and your last suggestion made me think of this.

      --
      They that would sacrifice their .sig space for that cliched Franklin quote deserve neither.
  4. Re:Please god, by BabyDave · · Score: 5, Funny
    Hey, it could be worse:
    • [Archer] I'd like to introduce our newest crew member, Ensign Binks.
    • [Binks] Meesa muy-muy pleased to meet allayousa
    • [Trekkies everywhere] Right, where did I put that fully-functional replica phase pistol?
  5. The Trek Sex Virus by retro128 · · Score: 4, Funny

    Slipping is an understatement. Nothing says "it's over" like the crew encountering an alien race that requres a threesome in order to reproduce.

    Seriously, if I wanted to see a bunch of oddly proportioned women who wear too much makeup getting it on with average looking guys, I'll watch a porn.

    --
    -R
  6. The only way by actappan · · Score: 4, Funny

    The only way to save enterprise is to put Archer in an orange sweatshirt and have him die every episode.

    --
    \Drew National Data Director, John Edwards for President
  7. Re:Borg by UniverseIsADoughnut · · Score: 4, Funny

    "Even if this ep bombs, there's still some potential here. (Note: I'll never forgive Voyager for pussifying the Borg.)"

    Actully I think most would agree putting some pussy in the borg was a nice move.

  8. Re:Maybe partly off-topic, but by nytes · · Score: 5, Funny

    I just wish that in terms of production values: 1) They ditch the catsuit for T'Pol. No real Vulcan would dress like that...it's degrading.

    I agree 100%. I wanna see T'Pol without the catsuit on!

    (Sorry, that was just too easy to pass up :-)

    --
    -- I have monkeys in my pants.