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The Gospel According to Neo

Xel writes "Josh Burek, writer for The Christian Science Monitor and A.K.A. the guy who sits 4 cubicles from me, has written an excellent essay on religion in The Matrix: The Gospel According to Neo. Sure, this topic has been covered ad nauseum, but it's refreshing to see such a thoughful examination aimed not at geeks alone but a broader, more traditional, and more traditionally religious audience. It also has a nice little glossary at the end where even pasty-faced and vinyl-clad Matrix worshippers may find some easter eggs they didnt know."

29 of 736 comments (clear)

  1. And on the seventh day... by vought · · Score: 5, Funny

    the render farms rested, for their caches were full, and their disks bore the fruit of long labors.

    1. Re:And on the seventh day... by Gortbusters.org · · Score: 3, Funny

      The hacker sat back and looked at his new mp3 collection, 'This is good' he exclaimed!

      --
      --------
      Free your mind.
    2. Re:And on the seventh day... by Lane.exe · · Score: 3, Funny

      And the Lord looked down upon his creation, and saw that much had become evil... or at least pointless. So he did send a flood, which crashed all servers for 40 days and 40 nights. No one survived except Noah, who took his data into his raid with parity.

      --
      IAALS.
  2. Obvious by L.+VeGas · · Score: 4, Funny

    The geek shall inherit the earth.

  3. Oh My God! It's true! by bperkins · · Score: 4, Funny

    Take the word "matrix" and take the numbers that add them together.

    13+ 1+ 20+ 18+ 9+ 24=85

    Subtract the number of apostles
    You get 73.

    If the holy number is expressed as a trinity like so:
    7*(7+7)

    You get 98.
    Multiply the two numbers:
    98*73

    Which gives 7154

    That spells out the word God.

    Coincidence?

    I think not!

  4. Re:In case of slashdotting: by OpCode42 · · Score: 2, Funny

    I like the bit where Neo fights the agent.

  5. My favorite Matrix "easter egg": by mcc · · Score: 4, Funny
    Something that a friend of a friend noticed upon spending an entire day watching "the Matrix" over and over while it was still in theaters (they would hide elsewhere in the theatre when the ushers were clearing the seats between showings, then just go back in.. they *claimed* they were doing this for a class.):

    Every time that someone says "God" in the movie, Trinity (if she is present) responds as if she was being addressed. This happens at least twice.

    Whether she is actually responding is always left kind of pseudoambiguous:
    <Neo> Jesus!

    <Trinity> What?

    <Neo> I used to eat chinese food there..
    But, while it could be coincidence, I'm guessing that it just means that Trinity has a healthy amount of self-esteem. If you were a leather-clad female trapped in a hovercraft with a bunch of antisocial geeks, you'd probably start to think you were God too.
    1. Re:My favorite Matrix "easter egg": by dwillmore · · Score: 2, Funny
      Well if you think about it....Her name is "TRINITY" as in the Holy Trinity (Father, Son, & Holy Ghost) so maybe it's not so far fetched to make the comparrison. It's not like it's anything new. Star Wars is supposed to be heavily influenced by Lucas' religious beliefs.
      It's also the code name of a US atomic bomb test site. Maybe they were implying that she's 'the bomb'? Hmmmm....
  6. Re:What a load of bollox by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    But E.T. makes the kids fly on their bikes just like that time Jesus did... oh wait, that didn't happen. Well, Jesus liked Reese's Pieces, too... err, wait, no he didn't.

  7. Re:Religious Undertones by Snowdog668 · · Score: 3, Funny

    Funny, I thought the most common criticism for Battlefield Earth was that it was just plain horrible.

    --
    I wouldn't say I'm a bad gambler but the last time I went to Vegas I even lost a buck on the soda machine.
  8. Huh? by CGP314 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Numerology: Neo's apartment number is 101, suggesting that he's "the one." Neo is shot in apartment number 303, and after 72 seconds (72 hours = 3 days), he rises again.

    I'd love to meet the first guy who thought to time that. I can see the tinfoil hat now.

    Also, as a physics major, it hurts my eyes to see 72 seconds = 72 hours = 3 days. I guess no one bothered to teach the numerologists unit conversions.

  9. Re:Don't forget Eastern Religion by Muad'Dave · · Score: 5, Funny

    That's Gnu/sticism, darn it!

    --
    Tiller's Rule: Never use a word in written form that you've only heard and never read. You will end up looking foolish.
  10. Re:Interesting read.. by Flabby+Boohoo · · Score: 4, Funny

    "...Comp Repair (A/Net+) class we've been watching The Matrix all day.."

    Great! Could you send me your resume? I was looking for some qualified techs!

  11. Re:Don't forget Eastern Religion by DonkeyJimmy · · Score: 5, Funny

    The problem with the "Buddhist Science Monitor" is that whenever someone gets a really good idea and starts to write an article, they ascend to a better plane. Earth gets all the crappy beginer Buddhists. I bet in blisstopia they have tons of great insites about the Matrix.

    --
    "Probably the toughest time in anyone's life is when you have to murder a loved one because they're the devil." -Philips
  12. Re:Matrix Topic Icon by Timesprout · · Score: 2, Funny

    No one can be told what the Matrix icon represents, you must experience the Matrix icon for yourself

    --
    Do not try to read the dupe, thats impossible. Instead, only try to realize the truth
    What truth?
    There is no dupe
  13. Warner Bros. confirms: Trinity is dying! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    It is official; Warner Bros. now confirms: Trinity is dying

    One more crippling bombshell hit the already beleaguered Matrix fanboy community when the Warshowski Bros. confirmed that Trinity's wank appeal has dropped yet again, now down to less than a fraction of 1 percent of all geek porn. Coming on the heels of a recent Natalie Portman survey which plainly states that Trinity has lost more market share of masturbatory fantasies, this news serves to reinforce what we've known all along. Trinity is collapsing in complete disarray, as fittingly exemplified by dead last in the recent "Who do I think of while jerking off" test.

    You don't need to be a pasty-faced, anti-social computer nerd to predict Trinity's future. The hand writing is on the wall: Trinity faces a bleak future. In fact there won't be any future at all for Trinity because Trinity is dying. Things are looking very bad for Trinity. As many of us are already aware, Trinity dies in the end of "Matrix Reloaded." Red blood flows like a river of blood. From her. When she dies.

    Nude Trinity is the most endangered of them all, having lost 93% of her erotic potential. The mannish and unpleasant physique of long time Trinity actress Carrie-Ann Moss only serves to underscore the point more clearly. There can no longer be any doubt: Trinity is dying.

    Let's keep to the facts and look at the numbers.

    Trinity sycophant Michael states that he has written 7000 fanscripts featuring Trinity. How many people who give a shit about Trinity are there? Let's see. The number of Galadirel versus trinity posts on Usenet is roughly in ratio of 5 to 1. Therefore there are about 7000/5 = 1400 Trinity fanboys. Trinity in vinyl images on Usenet are about half of the volume of picuters of women shitting on themselves. Therefore there are about 700 losers who fantasize about Trinity being their girlfriend. A recent article put Trinity at about 80 percent of the "jerking off to pictures of distended anuses" market. Therefore there are (7000+1400+700)*4 = 36400 total losers still reading at this point. This is consistent with the number of Trinity Usenet posts.

    Due to the troubles of Hollywood, abysmal acting and so on, Trinity was killed off at the end of "Matrix Reloaded" and the role was taken over by a small beagle puppy who conveys emotion better than Moss. Now Trinity is dead, her corpse turned over to the Matrix to be liquified and fed to unsupecting batteries.

    All major surveys show that Trinity looks like a post-operative male-female transsexual. Trinity is very hideous and her long term wankability prospects are very dim. If Trinity is to survive at all it will be among Matrix geeks who bought the first one on DVD. Trinity continues to decay. Nothing short of a miracle could save her at this point in time. For all practical purposes, Trinity is dead.

    Fact: Trinity is dying at the end of "Matrix Reloaded."

  14. Re:Meh, sometimes you look a little TOO deep by Santos+L.+Halper · · Score: 3, Funny

    Sheesh, you're probably one of those people who believe Linux isn't satanic in spite of commands like kill and stuff. :)

    --

    "Ask not for whom the bone bones. It bones for thee." --Bender
  15. Re:Whatever... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Why do you keep calling me "Jesus" .. do I look Puerto Rican to you? He didn't say "Jesus", he said "Hey, Zeus." My name is Zeus. You know, Mount Olympus, father of Apollo, don't fuck with me or I'll shove a lightning bolt up your ass, Zeus! You got a problem with that?

  16. Wow! by NaugaHunter · · Score: 3, Funny

    Um... maybe Trinity thought that it was just an exclamation, and wondered what it was in reference to? Replace "Jesus!" with "Wow!" or "Damn!" and it really doesn't change her reaction much. I'll bet if you go back, you might even find her responding to "Shit!". She doesn't thing she's a pile of excrement, does she?

    In fact, you probably do the same thing. If you're somewhere with a person who says "Jesus!", do you think
    a) Hey! They mean me!
    b) The second coming? Already?
    or
    c) What would cause them to say that now?

    --
    R: That voice. Where have I heard that voice before? B: In about 365 other episodes. But I don't know who it is either.
  17. Before there was the Matrix... by Rai · · Score: 4, Funny

    There was the Butlerian Jihad.

    "Thou shalt not make a machine in the likeness of a human mind." -The Orange Catholic Bible

  18. Re:They forgot to mention Descartes by swb · · Score: 2, Funny

    One day on the bus home from campus, I sat next to two people having a conversation about philosophy. The one doing most of the talking was a fairly typical long-haired pseudointellectual type making a kind a claim about existence similar to Descartes but more in line with Berkeley.

    After hearing him repeat "But I can't know if you really exist -- you could just be a figment of my imagination" in response to protests from his companion, I leaned forward with the following suggestion to the annoying metaphysician:

    "After I punch you in the nose as hard as I can, will you tell me again about my being just a figment of your imagination, or will you just be too busy wiping away imaginary blood?"

    Unfortunately I wasn't too original. I remember a philosophy lecture where Berkeley arrives at the home of a rival philospher (Locke?) in a rainstorm and finds the door locked. He bangs on the door loudly demanding to be let in, and his friend leans out the window and asks him what the problem is. Berekely complains that its raining, he's wet and cold, and the door is locked. His friend laughs and says "George, the door, the lock and the rain are all just figments of your imagination -- can't you get past them?"

  19. Re:Christian symbolism by Blaster+Jaack · · Score: 1, Funny

    So if we disect this Thomas Anderson.

    Tho - Though

    Mas: Oncogene from brain that encodes a receptor coupled to a G-protein and to PIP2 turnover.

    We can now come to the conclusion that Thomas Anderson means Though Oncogene-from-brain Man Son

    coincident I think not!

  20. Re:Similar to what Eastern religions say by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    In all my studies of Eastern Thought, I've never read the bit about being able to dodge bullets, instantly learn Kung Fu, or fly around a room and shit once you are elightened.

    Can you direct to said writtings, please, for it would be *really* cool to be able to do such things. I mean, to be enlightened and all zen and shit and to be able to kick major ass... wow.

    Please?

    Thanks.

  21. Gnostic Christianity? by gricholson75 · · Score: 2, Funny

    Is RMS behind this?

  22. Re:You'd have a lot of depressed, mentally ill fol by Zirnike · · Score: 2, Funny
    Reminds me of a George Carlin bit:

    "Next we have the sexual criminals... (stuff cut) ...No, not those people. The rapists and child molesters... those hopeless romantics. We could just ban religion, and those crimes would go away in a generation or two, but we don't have time for rational solutions"

    --
    I'm not shy, I'm stalking my prey
  23. If you think the matrix is deep, try slashdot... by Iowaguy · · Score: 5, Funny

    Personally, I am impressed by the themes and symbols interwoven in slashdot. For instance, look at the name itself. "Slash"--in ancient Latin this implies a decrease and "dot"---Greek for really small. This implies the quest for the ever smaller, to look beyond minutia with a trained eye. Buddhist if I ever saw it. Then, there is all the bad spelling and grammer, even found in this post. This is the Post-modern idea that we live in an imperfect world, and there is nothing we can do to fix it. But, oh, the Christian irony since spell checkers do exist and we can be saved if only you take the effort to love what is beyond yourself. Oh, I could go on. And, if I was an English major, I would. But to suffice it to say, if you have a million philosophers look at something for a million hours, they will find it to be profound, no matter what it is. As Frued could have said, "Sometimes a posting is just a posting." -Iowa

    --
    "He who laughs last, didn't get the joke."-Cap
  24. Re:Oh My God! It's true! by Doctor+Hu · · Score: 2, Funny

    ...
    7154: Prophet!

  25. Re:Bull by Rick.C · · Score: 4, Funny
    And let us not forget that whole brilliant monologue on weather chicken ...

    Yes, let us not. Here it is now..

    When I was a kid back in Iowa, we had us a weather chicken. It was like a weather rock, but it had feathers and it moved around more. When the weather chicken was wet, it was rainy. When the weather chicken was white, it was snowing.

    But one day we noticed that the weather chicken had had its head cut clean off and a wooden stake driven through it, pinning it to the ground. We looked skyward to see what this might mean, weather-wise.

    The sky was pure blue. There were absolutely no clouds. Yet there was something eerily wrong: there was no sun!

    As we stood there gazing, white words started to appear across the sky:

    *** STOP 0x0000001E KMODE_EXCEPTION_NOT_HANDLED ...

    As it turns out Reality is a Windows app.

    --
    You were 80% angel, 10% demon. The rest was hard to explain. - Over The Rhine
    "Math in a song is good."-Linford
  26. Re:How is christanity relevant? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    idiot