Slashdot Mirror


For Microsoft, Market Dominance Isn't Enough

chemstar writes "Last summer Orlando Ayala, then the top sales executive at Microsoft Corp., sent an e-mail titled 'Microsoft Confidential' to senior managers laying out a strategy to dissuade governments across the globe from choosing cheaper alternatives to the ubiquitous Windows operating system. Ayala's e-mail told executives that if a deal involving governments or large institutions looked doomed, they were authorized to draw from a special internal fund to offer software at a steep discount, or free, if necessary. Steve Ballmer, the Microsoft chief executive, was sent a copy of the e-mail. The memo, which focused on system software for desktop computers, specifically targeted Linux, a still small but emerging competitor. "Under NO circumstances lose against Linux," Ayala said." Perhaps that's because, as roomisigloomis writes, "Seems that MS' licensing practices are working against the company," pointing out this article which "suggests that open source, Linux and other software is actively being sought."

39 of 685 comments (clear)

  1. Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    How can BSD be dying when it has a mascot like this?! Linux needs to get its act together if it's going to compete with the kind of hot chicks and gorgeous babes that BSD has to offer!

    You just can't take Linux seriously when its fronted by losers like these. You Linux groupies need to find some sexy girls like her! I mean just look at this girl! Doesn't she make you hard? I know this little hottie floats my boat! This guy looks like he is about to cream his pants standing next to such a fox. As you can see, no man can resist this sexy little cock teaser. Even this old bearded Unix guru is apparently unable to take his eyes off her!

    Join the campaign for more cute open source babes today!

    1. Re:Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

      This is the best argument I have ever seen for open source.

    2. Re:Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 0, Funny

      She looks about 12. You'll be hearing from a Mr. Ashcroft.

    3. Re:Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by ePhil_One · · Score: 4, Funny
      Its bad enough the damned stories on Slashdot repeat, now the comments are repeating too!

      When will the madness end!

      --
      You are in a maze of twisted little posts, all alike.
    4. Re:Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by Bob+McCown · · Score: 5, Funny

      No kidding, all Microsoft has is this loser

    5. Re:Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by stinkfoot · · Score: 3, Funny

      yeah, but i bet she can't dance like monkey boy ballmer.

    6. Re:Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by Syberghost · · Score: 2, Funny

      If she was dressed like a penguin, I'd hit it.

    7. Re:Microsoft can't dominate the BSD Babe! by r3dfiv3 · · Score: 2, Funny

      yeah, hot chicks in penguin suits... nice.

  2. that's great by kipsate · · Score: 5, Funny

    So, if you want to have Microsoft software for free, you know what to do!

    --
    My karma ran over your dogma
    1. Re:that's great by Loki_1929 · · Score: 4, Funny

      " So, if you want to have Microsoft software for free, you know what to do!"

      Download it from Kazaa?

      Oh, wait, I forgot to RTFA.

      --
      -- "Government is the great fiction through which everybody endeavors to live at the expense of everybody else."
  3. And the dripping irony is by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    the bigass ".NET" advertisement I got when I loaded this page. Figures. Thanks Slashdot.

    1. Re:And the dripping irony is by Misch · · Score: 4, Funny

      Yeah, but the uniforms of the Microsoft soldiers have patches, and more patches, and even more layers of patches... and you can still see their underwear through the holes left behind.

      --

      --You will rephrase your request for me to go to hell. Goto statements are not acceptable programming constructs
  4. Handout! by w3weasel · · Score: 5, Funny

    As the chair of my neighborhood gardenclub, we have been considering implementing a new server rack with either Win3k and MSSQL to track the movment and eating habits of chinch bugs. Given our modest budget, it currently looks as though we will have to forgo using MS products in favor of OSS/FS alternatives. Can I have my free software now?

    --

    Just as irrigation is the lifeblood of the Southwest, lifeblood is the soup of cannibals. -- Jack Handy

    1. Re:Handout! by DuckDuckBOOM! · · Score: 2, Funny

      ...Win3k...
      - - - snip - - -

      [ISN NewsBeam Wed 9/22/3115]

      During his keynote address at the E^3 conference on Ultima Moor, Emperor William Gates XLVIII announced yet another delay in the release of the Windows 3000 operating system. He attributed this latest setback to a "minor security issue" in Hypernet Explorer 159.0. His Supreme Excellency declined to respond to numerous follow-up questions, characterizing the security concerns as "nothing to worry about," and stating that the problem would be resolved prior to release "later this century." He then had the questioners executed.

      The problem may, however, be more serious than Emperor Gates was willing to admit. Our source on Microsoft Planet (tm), speaking on condition of anonymity, claims that, under certain conditions, receipt of a Hypernet message containing the "Code Red" worm will cause Hypernet Explorer to open a rift in the space-time continuum, sucking its user into the ninth dimension. Only light casualties among non-sentient developers have been reported thus far.

      Microsoft is said to be looking into this phenomenon as a possible anti-piracy measure.

      - - - snip - - -

      --
      Life is like surrealism: if you have to have it explained to you, you can't afford it.
  5. Yeah! by xmutex · · Score: 2, Funny

    How dare a company try to increase its profits and make more money?! How dare a business try to best its competitors in the marketplace?!

    I for one am disgusted and only hope that this evil is vanquished!

    --

    jack's bicycle is music to my ears
    1. Re: Yeah! by Black+Parrot · · Score: 4, Funny


      > I once offered to mow the lawn of my neighbor for 50 cents less than whatever she normally pays the usual kid and I ended up spending 6 months in prison for it.

      Leave the gun at home when you want to make an old lady an offer she can't refuse.

      --
      Sheesh, evil *and* a jerk. -- Jade
  6. Re:It's not shocking... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Christ! Second post and we're already invoking Godwin's Law on the article.

    Move along folks. Nothing to see here.

  7. For Slashdot, by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    Having fourty two stories an hour about Microsoft Isn't Enough

  8. Are you suggesting ... by burgburgburg · · Score: 4, Funny
    that Microsoft, our Microsoft, would use aggressive, monopolistic behavior to cement their market dominance, diminish the long-term prospects of competitors and violate European laws regarding the behavior of companies in a market-leading position? Or that it would the money in this special fund to target developing, needy, poor nations who would be in no position to question Microsoft's activities once they were locked in to a Microsoft solution?

    I'm shocked. Shocked!

  9. Microsoft? Doing something we don't like? Hwah? by American+AC+in+Paris · · Score: 4, Funny
    Jeez. It's like Slashdot is doing everything in it's power to turn into a one-trick show. News Flash: Microsoft Still Doing Things That Piss Us Off!

    Random Businessman 1: "We're doomed! Only a miracle can save us now!"
    Hysterical Woman: "We need Linux! Tux, where are you?? Save us!"
    Random Businessman 2: "Look! Up there!"
    cut to shot of Tux, soaring above city. Tux looks down, smiles and waves
    Chorus of Schoolchildren: "Tux!!!!"

    Yes kids, tune in next week when Tux saves the world from the evil clutches of Microsoft yet again ...

    --

    Obliteracy: Words with explosions

  10. The funny part by Otter · · Score: 5, Funny
    Chris O'Rourke, a Microsoft employee, has described attending Linux World, a trade fair in California, where he "purported to be an independent computer consultant working with several K12 school districts," according to his e-mail, which was sent on Aug. 20 last year. K-12 schools include students from ages to 5 to 18.

    "Ha!" O'Rourke wrote in the e-mail to his colleagues, referring to his assumed identity. "In general, people bought this without question ... hook, line and sinker."

    O'Rourke said his goal was to glean intelligence about the competition. His guise, he said, "got folks to open up and talk." O'Rourke did not respond to a fax and voice-mail message seeking comment.

    While I still haven't figured out why I should be outraged that Microsoft's sales force, you know, sells stuff, that bit made me laugh. Like this guy is James Bond, successfully impersonating a consultant. I've worked the KDE booth at Linux conferences, alongside teenagers who know even less about the IT business than I do -- Steve Ballmer himself could walk up to the booth and unless he was sweating and screaming, "Developers! Developers!" no one would recognize him.

    I mean, do Microsoft sales people have horns and a tail? Why would anyone doubt him?

    1. Re:The funny part by ThePlague · · Score: 3, Funny

      If they had horns and a tail, wouldn't that make it easier for them to pass themselves off as *BSD advocates?

    2. Re:The funny part by irix · · Score: 4, Funny

      That's OK - I am planning to attend a Microsoft Developer conference posing as an MCSE to see what "intelligence" I can gather. Let's check out my disguise:

      • "Visual Studio .NET Developer Program" golf shirt - check
      • well ironed khakis - check
      • lingo ... "You should consider developing your solution using the managed Windows .NET environment! Bah, Linux is for academics and tinkerers." - check
      Yup, all set. We'll see who buys what "hook line and sinker".

      :-)

      --

      Do you even know anything about perl? -- AC Replying to Tom Christiansen post.
  11. Re:It's Captain Stupendous, Master of the Obvious! by JonnyElvis42 · · Score: 5, Funny

    the licensing of Windows -- product activation and the like -- are what's really kicking Microsoft's teeth in

    Awww, why do licensing and product activation get to have all the fun?

  12. Re:Passive Resistence (acording to Gandhi) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    While Linux is riducularizing Microsoft, they should also insultarize and ignorificate them too! This will lead to both increased market competization and increased humorification.

  13. Re:Not an uncommon business practice.. by Monkelectric · · Score: 3, Funny
    Not only that, having a special fund for discounts is *very* common. When I was a sysadmin at a major university, if I wanted 50% off sun equiptment all I had to do was use the word "Dell" in a sentence. Curiously the products were still overpriced.

    Sun was/is so bent on destroying linux, when I discussed our setup with their sales engineers they were *throwing in* Cobalt Raq web servers to replace our linux web servers because they didnt want us running linux. They didnt see the irony :) (cobalt raq's run linux)

    --

    Religion is a gateway psychosis. -- Dave Foley

  14. Re:What do we really expect? by jasonbw · · Score: 4, Funny

    If Gates has a net worth of about, what?, $45 B, i'd assume that Balmer has at least $1 B. If i was in Balmers shoes, i'd cash out and spend the rest of my life trying not to dance on camera.

  15. Re:Microsoft? Doing something we don't like? Hwah? by MyHair · · Score: 4, Funny

    Cool! Now throw in some comedy, action, music, sex, plot and special effects in accordance with the formula and we have a box office hit!

    Let's call it Firebird.

  16. Ballmer Blows Goats by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny
    From the article:

    Ayala's e-mail told executives that if a deal involving governments or large institutions looked doomed, they were authorized to draw from a special internal fund to offer software at a steep discount, or free, if necessary. Steve Ballmer, who was busy fellating a goat, was sent a copy of the e-mail.
  17. Microsoft Mentions Linux, Slashdot Exclaims AHA! by Chromodromic · · Score: 1, Funny

    In related news, an internal memo from Microsoft was released today that confirmed Microsoft is aware that Linux exists and that it is a competitor.

    "We know," said Microsoft company spokesman Bob Chambers.

    Slashdot readers collectively said "AHA!" and then proceeded to shake their heads when told tha Microsoft would try to compete with other products.

    "We just can't believe it," said Jeff Nerdmeier, an avid Slashdot reader. "That Microsoft would try to compete in the marketplace is just amazing to us. Why they don't just give everything away, well, we don't understand it."

    When Nerdmeier was told that Microsoft might try to compete by price-cutting and free installations, he further stated: "This is unprecedented. No other company in any industry has ever done something like this. We're shocked."

    Also in the news today, Slashdot readers were amazed to learn that the United States is a capitalist nation and that their assertions that an entire industry should survive solely on the basis of services rendered in support of what otherwise should only be free, open products, some regard as dogmatic, highly political, and even quasi-religious.

    In related news, scientists revealed a study today stating that Linus Torvalds is a human being, not a God. Slashdot readers formed lynch-mobs in response, vowing to "git them anti-Linux bastards".

    --
    Chr0m0Dr0m!C
  18. You need to get out more... by winkydink · · Score: 3, Funny

    I see a restraining order in your future

    --

    "I'd rather be a lightning rod than a seismometer." -Ken Kesey

  19. Re:This is a very smart move on M$' part.... by Beetjebrak · · Score: 2, Funny

    Vacuum tubes and Beta systems are still being made and used. The funny thing is: they're in high end devices these days. Joe Shmoe uses transistors, audiophiles use amps with tubes. Joe Shmoe uses VHS, broadcasting agencies use BetaCam (if they haven't transitioned to full digital yet). Joe Shmoe uses Windows XP, 1337 H4x0rz and middle aged men with foot-long beards use Linux.. ;o)

    --
    Learn from the mistakes of others. There isn't enough time to make them all yourself.
  20. Source code security... by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 2, Funny

    Ok granted they've been able to keep their source code contained, but executive memos like this should be at approximitly the same sensitivity level.

    Every time someone successfully breaks into the source code repository at Microsoft, their brains melt. It's a very effective strategy - the source code equivalent of the Medusa. Only specially trained MS developers can bear to look at the code for any length of time and even then, the constant barage of marketing material renders them useless fairly quickly. Those developers who can't stay the course end up as Soylent Green for the canteen.

  21. Re:But you're missing the point by Dr.+Photo · · Score: 2, Funny

    In the specific scenarios covered by this story, Microsoft isn't dumping the price below the competition. It is merely lowering the price to the same level as the competition, which makes sense.

    Hmm.. compete with Linux on the basis of... price?

    Pretty soon, I'm sure we'll see Linux offered for free, too, in a retaliatory move certain to enrage Redmond. ;-)

  22. Just remember... by zipwow · · Score: 4, Funny

    Just remember to take off your suspenders and at least trim your beard...

    -Zipwow

    (seemed fitting while we're throwing around sterotypes)

    --
    I don't know which is more depressing, that 2/3 didn't care enough to vote, or that 1/2 of those that did are crazy.
  23. Re: Dude, she's like 13 years old! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 1, Funny

    This is more like it.

  24. Re:It's Captain Stupendous, Master of the Obvious! by wcbarksdale · · Score: 3, Funny

    Moreover, I'd rather have condescending technical support than a condescending operating system.

  25. Comment removed by account_deleted · · Score: 2, Funny

    Comment removed based on user account deletion

  26. Just what does 'they' refer too.... by nortcele · · Score: 3, Funny
    unless she signed a release, aren't they technically hers? Or am I wrong about this (seriously)?
    Your sentence leaves minds to wander/wonder exactly what you refer to as 'they'! After looking at the picture very closely. I'm pretty sure they are hers. And as for signing a release...(in the case that they aren't hers)... that's between her and Dow-Corning and none of our business.