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Java Performance Urban Legends

Posted by michael on from the boogie-man-will-get-you dept.

An anonymous reader writes "Urban legends are kind of like mind viruses; even though we know they are probably not true, we often can't resist the urge to retell them (and thus infect other gullible "hosts") because they make for such good storytelling. Most urban legends have some basis in fact, which only makes them harder to stamp out. Unfortunately, many pointers and tips about Java performance tuning are a lot like urban legends -- someone, somewhere, passes on a "tip" that has (or had) some basis in fact, but through its continued retelling, has lost what truth it once contained. This article examines some of these urban performance legends and sets the record straight."

4 of 520 comments (clear)

  1. My favorite Java UL... by ktakki · · Score: 4, Funny

    There was this one guy who worked for Sun Micro and was disappointed at how slowly Java ran on his Sparcstation, so he attached one of those JATO rocket engines...

    k.

    --
    "In spite of everything, I still believe that people are really good at heart." - Anne Frank
  2. Java is Slow by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Ok, so none of the things we thought were slow are really slow.

    Then why the hell is it so slow?

    1. Re:Java is Slow by WolfWithoutAClause · · Score: 4, Funny
      Remember the DOS days? Was was GWBASIC so slow? Why were QuickBASIC programs so slow?

      Why, later, was Surak so slow?

      It's because Surak has never written a line of Java in his life and simply trots out the same tired old message that he heard 4 years ago on Slashdot and repeats whenever Java comes up.

      Surak is essentially regurgitating, inspite of JITs and JNIs actually writing pretty good machine code these days.

      Suraks are slow. That's why people try to avoid hiring them.

      --

      -WolfWithoutAClause

      "Gravity is only a theory, not a fact!"
  3. Re:hmmm by Planesdragon · · Score: 5, Funny

    sigh, I can't believe I misspelled it twice

    No, you didn't. You misspelled it once; the second time is simply being consistent.

    Misspelling it twice would be writing "optomizing" and "optomezing"