Slashdot Mirror


Stem Cell "Master Gene" Found

nexex writes "From the Washington Post, 'Scientists yesterday said they have discovered a long-sought "master gene" in embryonic stem cells that is largely responsible for giving those cells their unique regenerative and therapeutic potential.' The report summarizes an article in the newest issue of the scientific journal, Cell."

13 of 230 comments (clear)

  1. LIES ALL LIES!!!!! by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    This GOVERNMENT filth is misinformation!

    Support BABY HARVESTING. It's the only way for a brighter future! Kill cancer, HARVEST BABIES!

  2. Re:Is this patentable? by EmagGeek · · Score: 5, Funny

    The human genome has already been patented. Patent number 00000001 is owned by God, and was issued a few million years ago. But, I don't think he's capable of enforcing it as there are no lawyers in heaven.

  3. can you turn Master gene on/off? by 192939495969798999 · · Score: 4, Funny

    What happens if you turn the Master gene on for a normal cell, or off in the stem cell? Does that automatically make the cell grow into a baby? That would be wild!

    --
    stuff |
  4. Re:Potential by Pinguu · · Score: 3, Funny

    isn't it kind of like having "root" access to stem cells?
    What's the stem cells IP? I'm gonna hax0r it ^^

    --
    --
  5. Foreskin restoration!? by Martin+Marvinski · · Score: 5, Funny

    Now I can finally get my foreskin back after 43 years without it!

  6. Actually, Heaven does have *one* lawyer (HUMOUR) by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 4, Funny

    Following a distinguished legal career, a man arrived at the Gates of heaven, accompanied by the Pope, who had the misfortune to expire on the same day.

    The Pope was greeted first by St. Peter, who escorted him to his quarters. The room was somewhat shabby and small, similar to that found in a low-grade Motel 6-type establishment.

    The lawyer was then taken to his room, which was a palatial suite including a private swimming pool, a garden, and a terrace overlooking the Gates. The attorney was somewhat taken aback, and told St. Peter,

    "I'm really quite surprised at these rooms, seeing as how the Pope was given such small accommodations."

    St. Peter replied, We have over a hundred Popes here, and we're really very bored with them. We've never had a lawyer.

  7. Turn on? by jabbadabbadoo · · Score: 4, Funny

    Can I exploit this knownledge to turn on women, you think?

  8. Welcome by Barkmullz · · Score: 3, Funny

    I, for one, will welcome our new master gene overlords

    --
    Ronald said nothing. He flung himself from the room, flung himself upon his horse, and rode madly off in all directions.
  9. Master Gene? No! Mistress Gene! by screwthemoderators · · Score: 5, Funny

    A gene that tells all others what to do should definitely be feminine-

  10. Re:Unacceptable research? by Zanth_ · · Score: 3, Funny

    Who knows, we could even save Michael J Fox's career... =)

    Or even save Michael Jackson's face!

    Er...its pretty far gone, maybe not.

  11. How to Turn On A Stem Master Cell by thedbp · · Score: 4, Funny

    1. Put on some smooth jazz or R&B. Al Green will do nicely.

    2. Light some candles and incense. Sandalwood is perfect, especially if you can get some sandalwood massage oil.

    3. Compliment the Stem Master Cell heavily, even if you don't believe a word of what you're saying.

    4. Offer a deep-fetal-tissue massage.

    5. After a nice 20 minute session, rub the Stem Master Cell's buttocks and thighs, hightening their pleasure with small injections of dopamine.

    That should do it! Lord knows it works for me.

  12. Re:Is this patentable? by roskakori · · Score: 4, Funny
    The human genome has already been patented. Patent number 00000001 is owned by God
    no, you are mistaken. although patent number 00000001 is owned by god, it refers to "light".
  13. Er, I think you're reading dated text by CharlesClarkson · · Score: 3, Funny

    According to: The Gesargenplotzian Gospel

    IV. 1. Lo, in 1962 the Great Gesargenplotz came back, and it saw what He had done. And the Great Gesargenplotz was wroth, and it spoke unto Him saying "Why have you done this? Why have you created these creatures just to torment them?" 2. And He answered, saying "I have done so because it amuses me, Great Gesargenplotz. Of what matter is their pain and disappointment? They are not gods as you and I, they exist only for my amusement." 3. The Great Gesargenplotz, hearing His answer, knew that His heart was hard. The Great Gesargenplotz repented it that it had made Him. 4. The Great Gesargenplotz ate Him and He was no more.

    After being eaten by His creator, I think His patent lapsed.

    --

    Charles K. Clarkson
    Many people truly want to help. Unfortunately, many people truly suck at it.