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No Business Like SCO Business
The SCO must go on. Informationweek has a roundup. News.com has some analysis of the legal case. SCO reiterates their threat to revoke IBM's license. Reader hobsonchoice sends a blurb: "Also more from analysts who saw SCO/Linux code comparisons under NDA. Bill Claybrook, of Aberdeen Group Inc., says SCO changed their story to him about whether they had any "direct evidence" that IBM copied any System V code into Linux.
Laura Didio of Yankee Group has answered some detailed questions about her code review process. Lastly Fujitsu Siemens have joined in the debate: they don't think SCO's case is going anywhere." One observer of the SCO case has compiled some notes about Caldera's active participation in the IA-64 project. And look on the bright side: if you follow the school of thought that all publicity is good publicity, at least this suit has gotten Linux mentioned in many places where it normally wouldn't be.
I think this summs it up better
"I can not bring myself to believe that if knowledge presents danger, the solution is ignorance" - Isaac Asimov
seams to me that SCO has ask IBM about the dirty knife!
Then IBM says to SCO:
YOU BASTARDS! YOU VICIOUS, HEARTLESS BASTARDS! lOOK WHAT YOU'VE DONE TO HIM (Linus)
HE'S WORKED HIS FINGERS TO THE BONE, TO MAKE THIS GNU/LINUX WHAT IT IS
AND YOU COME IN WITH YOUR PETTY, FEEBLE QUIBBLING AND YOU GRIND HIM INTO THE DIRT!
this fine, honorable man, whose boots you are not worthy to kiss!
Oh, it makes me mad, MAD
how the end always is
that SCO is thinking they'll file an injunction with a judge on Monday. So, what it seems like to me is they are talking like North Korea.
"You...you...play nice IBM or we'll revoke your AIX license on Friday... err...hm, it's Friday now...um, err...play nice or we'll revoke it on Monday, punks!"
Duno. I know like, nothing about law so maybe this is standard practice.
Mmmm......sacrelicious.
[WEDNESDAY] We are going to revoke IBM's UNIX license if they don't pay up by friday!
[THURSDAY] We have it all planned out. We have this very well calculated. On friday, if IBM does not do what we say, we will revoke their UNIX license and they will be hurting badly.
[FRIDAY] Um.. yeah. We are SO going to revoke IBM's UNIX license if they don't do what we say. Uh, i mean, it's still friday. If they don't do what we say by midnight. Yeah.
[SATURDAY] Well, our deadline has come and gone. We are now free to revoke IBM's UNIX license. Um, at a time of our choosing. Yup. And we will be doing this to IBM. Um.. next week. Unless they do what we say by then. It wil be horrible for them.
You have no idea.
Right now I'm so hot I've got a higher SCOville rating than a Red Savina Habanero (350,00 - 577,000 on the Scoville scale, compared to the Scotch Bonnet which has 150,000 - 325,000)
And yes, I hate myself for that reference.
There's no business like SCO business
Like no business I know
Everything about it is appealing (the verdict!)
Everything that justice will allow!
Nowhere could you get that happy feeling... when you are stealing... that sacred cow!
There's no people like SCO people
They smile when dealing their blows
Even with a comp'ny that you know will fold, you may be stranded out in the cold
Still you wouldn't change it for a sack of gold, let's go on with the SCO!
Karma: Excellent Birds (mostly as a result of listening to Laurie Anderson)
It's 967AD and the restless SCO Villagers find a witch and are keen to burn her!
A secret meeting with Microsoft takes place to see if they can...
SCO: SCO Code! SCO Code! SCO Code! We've found SCO Code in Linux!
SCO LACKEY #1: We have found some SCO Code in Linux! May we burn it?
SCO: Burn the users! Burn! Burn it! Burn its users!
MICROSOFT: How do you know it is SCO Code?
SCO LACKEY #2: It looks like it.
SCO: Right! Yeah! Yeah!
MICROSOFT: Bring it forward.
GPL'd CODE: I'm not SCO Code. I'm not!
MICROSOFT: Uh, but you are dressed as such.
GPL'd CODE: They dressed me up like this.
SCO: Augh, we didn't! We didn't...
GPL'd CODE: And these aren't my comments. They're false ones.
MICROSOFT: Well?
SCO LACKEY #1: Well, we did do the comments.
MICROSOFT: The comments?
SCO LACKEY #1: And the copyright lines, but it is SCO Code!
SCO LACKEY #2: Yeah!
SCO: We burn it! Right! Yeaaah! Yeaah!
MICROSOFT: Did you dress it up like this?
SCO: No! No. No. No. No. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. Yeah, a bit. A bit. It does look like UNIX though.
MICROSOFT: What makes you think it is SCO Code?
SCO LACKEY #3: Well, it turned me into Windows!
MICROSOFT: Windows?
SCO LACKEY #3: I got better.
SCO LACKEY #2: Burn it anyway!
SCO LACKEY #1: Burn!
SCO: Burn it! Burn! Burn it!...
MICROSOFT: Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! Quiet! There are ways of telling whether it is SCO Code.
SCO LACKEY #1: Are there?
SCO LACKEY #2: Ah?
SCO LACKEY #1: What are they?
SCO: Tell us! Tell us!...
MICROSOFT: Tell me. What do you do with SCO Code?
SCO: Compile it! Compile it! Compile! Complie!...
MICROSOFT: And what do you compile apart from SCO Code?
SCO LACKEY #1: More SCO Code!
SCO LACKEY #3: Shh!
SCO LACKEY #2: BSD Code!
MICROSOFT: So, why does SCO Code compile?
[pause]
SCO LACKEY #3: B--... 'cause its copied from... BSD?
MICROSOFT: Good! Heh heh.
SCO: Oh, yeah. Oh.
MICROSOFT: So, how do we tell whether it is copied from BSD?
SCO LACKEY #1: See if it builds with gcc?
MICROSOFT: Ah, but can you not also build Linux with gcc?
SCO LACKEY #1: Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. True. Uhh...
MICROSOFT: Does BSD come under the GPL license?
SCO LACKEY #1: No. No.
SCO LACKEY #2: No, its free! We can do what we want with it commercially!
MICROSOFT: And what else are you free to use commercially?
SCO: Bread! Apples! Uh, very small rocks! Cider! Uh, gra-- gravy! Cherries! Mud! Uh, churches! Churches! Lead! Lead!
ARTHUR: Your Own Code!
SCO: Oooh.
MICROSOFT: Exactly. So, logically...
SCO LACKEY #1: If... it... has... been released by us commerically,... it's made of SCO Code.
MICROSOFT: Yes, and have you released it commercially?
SCO LACKEY #2: Yes! In our Linux Distribution!
SCO LACKEY #1: SCO Code! SCO Code! SCO Code! SCO Code! SCO Code! Burn it! Burn the users!
I think my head will explode if I see one more illiterate nitwit typing "for all intensive purposes". Fifty times on the blackboard kid: for all intents and purposes. And 500 more times "I will not repeat a cliche if I don't understand it".
My university's backbone mainframe is run on AIX the way I see it as soon as SCO revokes IBM's license my shitty grades are but a memory on some inaccessible backup tape. Hello med school.
IBM: Trouble with Linux.
...' ... our chief weapons are surprise...blah blah blah. Cardinal, read the charges.
Linux Users: Oh no - what kind of trouble?
IBM: One on't shared codes gone owt askew on base code.
Linux Users: Pardon?
IBM: One on't shared codes gone owt askew on base code.
Linux Users: I don't understand what you're saying.
IBM: [slightly irritated and with exaggerated clear accent] One of the shared codes has gone out askew on the base code.
Linux Users: Well what on earth does that mean?
IBM: *I* don't know - Mr Wentworth just told me to come in here and say that there was trouble with Linux, that's all - I didn't expect a kind of SCO Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The door flies open and CEO Darl McBride of Santa Cruz enters, flanked by two junior members. Chris Sontag has goggles pushed over his forehead. Cardinal Fang is just Cardinal Fang]
Darl McBride: NOBODY expects the SCO Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise...surprise and fear...fear and surprise.... Our two weapons are fear and surprise...and ruthless efficiency.... Our *three* weapons are fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency...and an almost fanatical devotion to money.... Our *four*...no... *Amongst* our weapons.... Amongst our weaponry...are such elements as fear, surprise.... I'll come in again.
[The Inquisition exits]
IBM: I didn't expect a kind of SCO Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The SCO Group burst in]
Darl McBride: NOBODY expects the SCO Inquisition! Amongst our weaponry are such diverse elements as: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, an almost fanatical devotion to money, and nice red uniforms - Oh damn!
[To Chris Sontag] I can't say it - you'll have to say it.
Chris Sontag: What?
Darl McBride: You'll have to say the bit about 'Our chief weapons are
Chris Sontag: [rather horrified]: I couldn't do that...
[Darl McBride bundles them outside again]
IBM: I didn't expect a kind of SCO Inquisition.
[JARRING CHORD]
[The SCO Group enter]
Chris Sontag: Er.... Nobody...um....
Darl McBride: Expects...
Chris Sontag: Expects... Nobody expects the...um...the SCO...um...
Darl McBride: Inquisition.
Chris Sontag: I know, I know! Nobody expects the SCO Inquisition. In fact, those who do expect -
Darl McBride: Our chief weapons are...
Chris Sontag: Our chief weapons are...um...er...
Darl McBride: Surprise...
Chris Sontag: Surprise and --
Darl McBride: Okay, stop. Stop. Stop there - stop there. Stop. Phew! Ah!
Fang: You are hereby charged that you did on diverse dates commit copyright infringement against the SCO Group. 'My old man said follow the--'
Chris Sontag: That's enough.
[To Linux Users] Now, how do you plead?
Linux Users: We're innocent.
Darl McBride: Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha! Ha!
[DIABOLICAL LAUGHTER]
Chris Sontag: We'll soon change your mind about that!
[DIABOLICAL ACTING]
Darl McBride: Fear, surprise, and a most ruthless-- [controls himself with a supreme effort] Ooooh! Now, Chris -- the rack!
[Chris Sontag produces a plastic-coated dish-drying rack. Darl McBride looks at it and clenches his teeth in an effort not to lose control. He hums heavily to cover his anger]
Darl McBride: You....Right! Tie them down.
[Fang and Chris Sontag make a pathetic attempt to tie them on to the drying rack]
Darl McBride:Right! How do you plead?
Linux Users: Innocent.
Darl McBride: Ha! Right! Chris, give the rack [oh dear] give the rack a turn.
[Chris Sontag stands their awkwardly and shrugs his shoulders]
Chris Sontag: I....
Darl McBride: [gritting his teeth] I *know*, I know you can't. I didn't want to say anything. I just wanted to try and ignore your crass mistake.
Chris Sontag: I...
Darl McBride: It makes it all seem so stupid.
Chris Sontag: Shall I...?
Darl McBride: No, just pretend for God's sake. Ha! Ha! Ha!
[Chris Sontag turns an imaginary handle on the side of the dish-rack]
[Cut to them torturing a man, Linus Torvalds]
Darl McBride: Now, Li
Ok, who else is imagining the fully-functional death star?
t
SCO J. Simpson?
One shouldn't repeat a cliche without knowing the hysterical raisins of its development.
-- Repeat with me: "There is no right to profits".
I have to admit I was all wrong about SUN -- this is a very nice operating environment for our porpoises.
I'm with you, buddy. I've had it with this Linux crap. I'm moving all of our servers over to FreeDOS just as soon as I can rustle up a few more ISA ethernet cards. Bye bye XTerm, hellooooo Telix!
Proud member of the Weirdo-American community.
-- this is a very nice operating environment for our porpoises.
First of all, best typo ever.
Second: Scott? Scott McNealy, is that you?
Third (in relation to the typo).
They call him FLIPPER, FLIPPER....faster than lightning humm-hum-hum-hum-hummm.
Ok, I'm done...time to go out to the greens and do some dolph...golfin'.
Have you read the moderator guidelines? Well, have you, PUNK? (and I want a Karma: Gnarly option)