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Robots Without a Cause
WG55 writes "Have you noticed that more and more technology is more ingenious than useful? Stuart Jeffries of The Guardian writes in his article Robots without a cause that much technology produced today will change our lives little, if at all. He writes, 'Our response to being bored and rich is not to discard our possessions and live more simply, but to buy more stuff to reduce the space in which we might contemplate our shame.'"
From the article: The Audi A8's sensor, though, is more than a security device. After fingerprint identification, the car's computer tunes the radio to your favourite stations, the mirrors swivel according to your established preferences, and the driver's seat sculpts itself to your bottom.
Hmmmm, sculpted to my ass... Do they make a computer chair and/or couch potatoe model?
I have often regretted my speech, never my silence.
-Xenocrates
It's sad, really. Putting engineering into application is evil, I say!
john
Over 30? Are you too old for slogans?
All I Want For Christmas Is My Constitutional Rights
Of course we keep building more gadgets and robotic doodads, its just the natural order of things.
Think about it, how are the robots going to rise up and kill their human masters if we don't make enough of them?
Frankly I'm still waiting on those flying cars and maybe a robot housekeeper like on the "Jetsons".
It is happening in more than just the US. Half the people in Europe are above the median weight as well.
"if our descendants will merely plug themselves into a fantasy world that for all purposes, is real..."
That means they will need a beta testers! Sign me up! Everquest has kind of lost its edge with me.
All new technology is first monetized in the sex industry. Sony just messed up in coming out with a toy dog first.
People who disagree with you are not automatically evil, greedy, or stupid.
But I tripped on my Roomba and fell on my battlebot...
Yes Francis, the world has gone crazy.
"...I've got 3 kids under the age of 16 months..."
That's either triplets or one hell of a woman.
"Gold still represents the ultimate form of payment in the world." - Alan Greenspan, 1999
Wow, you'd trust your three young children around an expensive robotic vacuum cleaner? They'd wreck it for sure! Are you sure you have a 15-month old child?
$#!^ happens, but why does it always have to happen to me???
Infomercials are the best showcase of the truly innovative inventions of our modern time. Where else can you learn about the roto-till, the latest hair-removal cream, the newest ab-exerciser and the best and last set of knives you'll ever have to buy, ever! (until next year)
because I have been enjoined by this Holy Office to abandon the false opinion which maintains that the Sun is the centre
For the record, that's twins (3/4/2002) and a little brother (3/28/2003), and yes, that is one hell of a woman!
Stop by my site where I write about ERP systems & more
Not to sound like a nihilistic hedonist, but... there is no lasting value in life. In due time, we will all die. The only lasting value in life is the joy we derive from life; our only real duty in life is to increase the amount of joy experienced by others.
Wow, what would you have written if you did want to sound like a nihilistic hedonist?
Well, this is the Guardian, which means itâ(TM)s your average cultural snob, elitist leftie whinging and whining about how modern life is sooooooooooo bad because we, the unwashed, unsophisticated masses spend too much time with our crass, petty little toys and not enough time brooding over the existential meaning of âoewhat it all means.â
Translation: theyâ(TM)re a bunch of fucking twats.
Let Stuart Jeffries climb a pole and ponder his bloody navel, Iâ(TM)ve got cars to steal in GTA:VC.
What you're looking for is called "Dance Dance Revolution", or the cheap PC knockoff called "Diet Diet Revolution" that had me spending so much time 'meditating' that I almost got in some serious trouble that semester... Seriously, get up to 7 or 8 'feet' of difficulty and you'll find yourself in another dimension, a dimension featuring plenty of bright colours and scrolling arrows but a surprising lack of self.
Oh cruel fate, to be thusly boned! Ask not for whom the bone bones; it bones for thee. -Bender
That's just it, I'm not wealthy enough to have ANY free time.
Ah! That's completely different. And I apologize for my arrogance; it was uncalled-for.
I figured out the problem for me, though. I just became so damned arrogant I no longer have friends.
Problem solved. I now have *loads* of free time.
Microsoft is to software what Budweiser is to beer.
I only wish I had a back yard... I suppose I could use the second room in my apartment - tear up the carpet and put down some soil I guess. But then where would I keep my computer and all my gadgets?
Oh, and that chemical you're putting on your lawn to make it stronger is also giving you buck teeth and a fairly large set of breasts.
c
Old Lady #1: When my ex-husband passed away, the insurance company said his policy didn't cover him.
Old Lady #2: They didn't have enough money for the funeral.
Old Lady #3: It's so hard nowadays, with all the gangs and rap music..
Old Lady #1: What about the robots?
Old Lady #4: Oh, they're everywhere!
Old Lady #1: I don't even know why the scientists make them.
Old Lady #2: Darren and I have a policy with Old Glory Insurance, in case we're attacked by robots.
Old Lady #1: An insurance policy with a robot plan? Certainly, I'm too old.
Old Lady #2: Old Glory covers anyone over the age of 50 against robot attack, regardless of current health.
[ cut to Sam Waterston, Compensated Endorser ]
Sam Waterson: I'm Sam Waterston, of the popular TV series "Law & Order". As a senior citizen, you're probably aware of the threat robots pose. Robots are everywhere, and they eat old people's medicine for fuel. Well, now there's a company that offers coverage against the unfortunate event of robot attack, with Old Glory Insurance. Old Glory will cover you with no health check-up or age consideration.
[ SUPER: Limitied Benefits First Two Years ]
You need to feel safe. And that's harder and harder to do nowadays, because robots may strike at any time.
[ show pie chart reading "Cause of Death in Persons Over 50 Years of Age": Heart Disease, 42% - Robots, 58% ]
And when they grab you with those metal claws, you can't break free.. because they're made of metal, and robots are strong. Now, for only $4 a month, you can achieve peace of mind in a world full of grime and robots, with Old Glory Insurance. So, don't cower under your afghan any longer. Make a choice.
[ SUPER: "WARNING: Persons denying the existence of Robots may be Robots themselves. ]
Old Glory Insurance. For when the metal ones decide to come for you - and they will.
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