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Scientists Grow Decaffeinated Coffee Plants

An anonymous reader writes "According to a CBC News story, researchers have genetically modified coffee seedlings to produce up to 70 per cent less caffeine." The Japanese researchers quoted in the article say "..demand for decaffeinated coffee is growing worldwide. Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people", and so "..used a tool called RNA interference to genetically engineer the one-year-old plants." Seems like these boffins may be competing against the University Of Hawaii researchers we mentioned last year to take away your buzz.

20 of 427 comments (clear)

  1. Whats the point? by benna · · Score: 5, Funny

    I mean really, if it can't help me stay up all night coding whats the point?

    --
    "It is not how things are in the world that is mystical, but that it exists." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
    1. Re:Whats the point? by intermodal · · Score: 4, Funny

      i'll bet the researchers drink real coffee.

      --
      In SOVIET RUSSIA... erm...NSA AMERICA, the Internet logs onto YOU!
    2. Re:Whats the point? by jkrise · · Score: 4, Funny

      " if it can't help me stay up all night ..."

      Actually caffeine has been known to cause erectile dysfunction, or simply put; "Staying Up Problem". If you really want to stay up all night (not coding!), then don't touch caffeine!

      --
      If you keep throwing chairs, one day you'll break windows....
    3. Re:Whats the point? by drdale · · Score: 4, Funny

      Fortunately, just this morning I received an e-mail offering me a product to help relieve that very problem. Actually, I received 27 of them.

      --
      This post is dedicated to all of those /.ers who do not dedicate their posts to themselves.
  2. Decaffeinated? by Anonymous Coward · · Score: 5, Funny

    How about they get working on super-caffeinated coffee? And we can call it Coffee 2. Then the regular caffeinated version of coffee can be renamed to Coffee 2. But the super-caffeinated version will be Coffee 2 Hi-Caffeine and the regular-caffeinated version will be Coffee 2 Full-Caffeine.

    1. Re:Decaffeinated? by tomakaan · · Score: 5, Funny

      It could be called Coffee 2, even if it is really coffee 1.1 in disguise.

    2. Re:Decaffeinated? by benna · · Score: 4, Funny

      or maybe it could be called coffee millennium edition even though its really just an update.

      --
      "It is not how things are in the world that is mystical, but that it exists." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
    3. Re:Decaffeinated? by benna · · Score: 4, Funny

      We could incorperate linux kernel code in the genome sequence but we may pick the wrong lines and get sued by SCO.

      --
      "It is not how things are in the world that is mystical, but that it exists." -Ludwig Wittgenstein
    4. Re:Decaffeinated? by bad_fx · · Score: 5, Funny

      Thank god for instant espresso which allows you to put that extra spoonful in your normal cup...

      C-C-Cup?CupsareforwussesMAN!!Nnnnrgh!!*twitch* ForarealHITjusteatitwithaspoonstraightOUTofthejar! !!*twitch*

  3. fifififinally. by michaelhood · · Score: 5, Funny

    i rerereally cococould uuuuse thththis stufffff.

  4. What next... by Justatad · · Score: 4, Funny

    opiate free poppy plantations?

  5. Nooo! by Noryungi · · Score: 4, Funny

    *Jaw drops open*

    This is blasphemy!! This, this, this... This is an outrage! Oh, the humanity!

    It's time to stop this nonsense once and for all! Coders, Admins, hackers, and yes, even Microsoft employees, virus writers and marketdroids, repeat after me:

    No to GMO! We want Real Coffee!

    I mean, Decaf' Coffee? If God wanted us to drink this, he would not have invented Starbucks!

    Oh, wait... I am a tea drinker...

    Err... Well, never mind me. Carry on... ;-)

    --
    The right to offend is far more important than the right not to be offended. (Rowan Atkinson)
  6. And doubtless before long by panurge · · Score: 5, Funny
    Coders will be growing illicit high-strength skunk coffee beans under arc lights in their basements.

    Someone needs to look at what the whole drive for effectless "drugs" tells us about society. THC free hemp yes, because hemp is a useful plant (makes good cloth,easier to grow than cotton). But surely the sole purpose of coffee beans is to produce...coffee? If you don't like the side effects, there are any number of alternatives. Decaffeinated coffee is like devaluing the brand name.

    Or perhaps I've missed the business implications. Perhaps I should just patent my new process for making alcohol free vodka, and get rich.

    --
    Panurge has posted for the last time. Thanks for the positive moderations.
    1. Re:And doubtless before long by The_dev0 · · Score: 4, Funny

      I don't know about you, but I grow illicit high-strength skunk weed buds for the flavour, too.

      --
      Never fight naked, unless you're in prison...
  7. Decaf by Rumagent · · Score: 5, Funny

    Decaf is like masturbation. When it is all you have it is ok. But, man you would die for the real thing!

    Don't laugh. Just like me you are reading slashdot. You know what I am talking about;)

  8. Re:Just another data point by UrGeek · · Score: 4, Funny

    Good for you! If you don't want caffeine, why drink coffee? There are thousands of alternatives.

    But for me, let me say:

    It is by caffeine alone
    I set my mind in motion,
    It is by the beans of Java
    That my thoughts aquire speed,
    The hand aquire shakes,
    The shakes becomes a warning,
    It is by caffeine alone
    I set my mind in motion.

  9. COFFEE MAKES YOU STRONG! STRENGTH CRUSHES ENEMIES by Simon+Kongshoj · · Score: 4, Funny
    Caffeine can trigger palpitations, increase blood pressure and disrupt sleep in sensitive people

    Cool! Are there any side effects?

    --
    Six sick .sigs, the Number of the Beast!
  10. Re:Hmmm... by Pig+Bodine · · Score: 4, Funny
    I don't know about you, but the only reason I ever even come close to touching coffee is for the caffeine. There are better beverages without caffeine

    Of course there caffeine-free beverages that are better than coffee. But all of those contain alcohol and some people occasionally want to drink something that is both alcohol AND caffeine free.

    I'm not sure why. People can be weird sometimes.

  11. LOLOLOL COFFEE IS MY LIFE BLOOD LOLLOLOL by Idimmu+Xul · · Score: 5, Funny

    LOL IM A PROGRAMMER LOL I DRINK COFFEE LOL CAFFEINE LOL DONT COME TO CLOSE LOL I HAVE THE SHAKES AND MIGHT SNAP ROFL I HAVENT HAD MY MORNING CUP OF COFFEE LOL

    Unfortunatly, I've met more imaginative heroin addicts.

    I fucking hate this caffeine gimmick, it's not that hard to stay up late when coding, or make it to work in the morning without bending over for caffeine.

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    The problem with slashdot is that most of its users were bullied and stuffed into lockers as kids!
  12. Re:Coffee is yummy by BrokenHalo · · Score: 4, Funny
    some people can most often regulate their sleep patterns naturally but that they actually like the flavor of coffee.

    I'm a biotech student, and as such genetic modification is hardly anathema to me;

    BUT DON'T FUCK WITH MY DAMN COFFEE!

    And yes, I actually do like the taste of it (at least the stuff I make). I would be curious to find out if this new stuff tasted any good...