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ESRB Ratings Add Violence Descriptors

Posted by simoniker on from the itchy-and-scratchy-fight-and-bite dept.

Thanks to an anonymous reader for pointing to an ESRB press release saying they've added four new violence-specific content descriptors to their voluntary but near-universally used age/suitability ratings system for games. These descriptors are "Cartoon Violence, defined as 'violent actions involving cartoon-like characters. May include violence where a character is unharmed after the action has been inflicted'... Fantasy Violence, defined as 'violent actions of a fantasy nature, involving human or non-human characters in situations easily distinguishable from real life.'... Intense Violence, defined as 'graphic and realistic-looking depictions of physical conflict. May involve extreme and/or realistic blood, gore, weapons, and depictions of human injury and death'... Sexual Violence, defined as 'depictions of rape or other violent sexual acts.'" There's also mention of icon redesign to include recommended age ranges and new, more prominent labels on the back of game boxes, presumably in response to legal challenges regarding violent games.

1 of 60 comments (clear)

  1. important point by Anonymous Coward · · Score: -1, Troll

    A few months ago, I started using Linux. When I began, I told others that I was "just experimenting", and that it was "just for fun". But I couldn't stop. I started using Linux every day. I stopped socializing with others, and never changed the tux shirt that I wore constantly. I began to berate technology that wasn't open-source. Worst of all, I began to partake in gross and neglegant homosexual behavior. I'm not sure if I was gay before I started using linux, or if it corrupted me in some way, but that is not the point.

    One day, when at a book store checking out "Gaynal Magazine" (the premire magazine about the linux community), I was approached by a fellow linux user. We started talking about linux and homosexuality, and he invited me to hang out with him at this gay bath-house.

    This gay bathhouse, known as the "White Swallow", was a linux-users dream come true!!! I still remember my first night. The whole slashdot crew was there, giving out free bj's and anal grease. RMS was getting gangbanged, and Rob Malda offered his anus to me.

    I became a regular at this bath-house, but that's how the nightmare began. I didn't know that every single one of them had AIDS, and that I had become infected.

    I was crushed. I stopped using Linux immediately, but that didn't help improve my health.

    I want to warn others about the dangers of using Linux. I don't want anyone to make the same mistake that I did. What do you recommend?

    - dying of aids
    Michigan.

    Dear Dying,

    Thanks for writing in. The last time I addressed Linux as a gateway to unhealthy practices such as faggotry and drug-use, I had a chance to warn my reader before it was too late. I'm sorry to see that with you, the situation is irreversible. I am glad you want to share your message, however, and to that I'll discuss your plight for others to see.

    You didn't mention what prompted your initial foray into Linux and Open Source, but I imagine it happened innocently enough at first. Perhaps you were the poor unknowing victim of a dirty zealot, such as ESR, or maybe it was just a quiet link to Slashdot that began your slide into Hell. The price of health is constant vigilance, but to the uninformed that's difficult. ESR and the Slashdot staff prey exactly upon such marks.

    The bathhouse, the "White Swallow," was more of a dream-come-true to the predators than new Linux users know. Not a single participant in the raw anal gangbangs or semenistic orgies there spoke once about their terrible secrets and with good reason. That was their chance to have your forever, and it looks like they did just that. I can't imagine the feeling that washed over you when you discovered the terrible truth. I can only pray for your peace and that others never share that emotion.

    My recommendation to you is to become an anti-Open Source zealot. Write essays and post them to Slashdot about the terrible secrets and conspiracies that the cock-lusting Open Source world harbors. Wear FreeBSD t-shirts, especially the one where the Beastie is fucking Tux up the ass (give it back to'em!). When you see a Linux "install party" happening, call the authorities immediately and tell them there's a filthy circle-jerk about to take place. Wear a mouth guard to prevent biting your pillow at night, one of the most embarassing side effects of Linux. Make sure you're running at least Windows if you can't get to a Mac. Using a proper OS is a must-- even though it's "too late" for you, you can still set an example.

    I wish you luck as you begin your lonely journey down a road few travel. Hold your head high as you proceed, refusing to let Open Source claim another victim. They may have ruined your body, but they lose-- and we win-- inf your mind remains free to the end.

    Best Wishes,
    Trollaxor