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Square Enix Standalone TV Sword Mayhem
Sodakar writes "Square Enix announced today that they will be releasing the latest game in their popular Dragon Quest series in Japan on September 19th, for 6,980 yen (around $50). Not only are you required to swing a sword controller at the screen in order to defeat the enemy, the game doesn't require a console - the sword plugs directly into the TV via A/V cables. Here's some photos of the system, and the official news page. I'll be looking forward to a news blurb about some kid stabbing his TV."
Mom: Quit playing that game and go do your homework
Kid (using sword attached to TV): n0 w4y! SuX0r! ph34r m3!! (Kid begins swinging sword violently at mother)
Alternate scenario: mom grabs sword attached to TV and whips kid's monkey a$$ with it
Overrated / Underrated : Moderation
Who knows, maybe Square will throw in some lame characters and a bad love story, then retitle it "Final Fantasy XII".
sigs are dumb.
Not exactly real-life, but it would be fun if I can do magic spells with a voice-recognition system.
Hey, its another game system, lets put linux on that!!! I'll give you 100,000 to do it :)
Hah! That's not a sword! This is a sword!!
"That's not a knife! That's a spoon."
"Oh, I see you've played knifey spoony before"
--Like I really need to cite my source, if you don't know this one, get out...
Just like they wouldn't bring something as goofy as Pokemon over.
You'd be real surprised at the wierd shit they've managed to sell billions of to American customers.
Dance Dance: Revolution, anyone? It's up to the 6th remix so far and still selling like coke in California.
Of all the Universal Constants, here's one I know: Nice guys finish last
A geek (by some amazing act of god) gets a hot chick to come home with him. They head straight for his mom's basement.
Hottie: Oooo... baby! It's so.. dark.. in here. Um, I just stepped on an action figure.
Geek: (add slupping braces lisp) Carded or loose?!? Ah shit! It was Boba Fett with the closed circle!!!
Geek takes a moment to dry to tears from his freshly taped glasses)
Hottie: [awkward silence] Sorry. Um, there's your sofa. (coyly) Maybe we could watch something romantic on TV!!!
Geek: Oh yeah!!! And I could show you my sword!!
Hottie: What the Fuck!?! You assume a lot!
Geek: No wait! Let me get it out! I'll teach you how to handle it!!!
Hottie: You sick little shit! I'm leaving.
Geek: No wait! I've got it on now! You should come play with it!!!
The amazing babe leaves, the geek and his videogame sword stand alone in silence
Geek: Fuck. So I guess she's not gonna chat with me in everquest anymore. [pause] Oh well, guess I'll jerk off now!
Anyone remember how you could use the Bass Fishing controller with Soul Calibur to control the weapons? Give yourself plenty of room and slash away.
(Well, to be honest, I don't; because I could never justify buying a special controller for a fishing game. Maracas, on the other hand...those I wish I had bought a second set.)
These self contained games that plug directly into the tv tend to not sell well at all. It might be different in japan, but in the us, these kinds of things are really only bought by people who don't have and can't afford a regular game system. They have deer hunting and fishing games like this at Target all the time. The display models are usually broken after a couple of days and then people lose interest.
There is one other major audience: mothers who want to quiet their kids about getting a Dra-Que (Dragon Quest) game, but who don't want their kids to have a system. Once the system is installed, the kids can resort to the "we have a system but no games" argument. Incidentally, these direct-plug games are fairly popular in Japan, (they gotta come from somewhere!) especially sports and karaoke games.