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Public Confused by Tech Lingo
the_helper_monkey writes "The BBC has an article about how tech jargon confuses the public. It's based on a survey done by AMD asking the definitions of words such as megahertz, MP3, and Bluetooth. " I was recently reminded of how big a deal this is while trying to help my tech novice brother select a computer. If you don't know what a gigabyte is, it's hard to know how large of a hard drive you need.
For years now, the common American penis bird has been a staple of every American's daily diet. Whether it be penis bird
sandwiches, fried penis bird, or perhaps penis bird under glass (for the rich), we all have penis bird at least once a day. Many
Americans have no clue how the penis bird became so important in the pyramid of a balanced diet, so in this article I will
attempt to explain its history and why it is so useful.
In the early 1870s, Francis Zefran became the first penis bird breeder in North America. He started his famous Penis Bird Ranch
in Canton, OH. At the time, not much was known of the penis bird's nutritional value, but the Penis Bird Ranch changed all of
that. Not only did Francis Zefran raise penis birds to sell their colorful plumes (a VERY lucrative business), he also set up
the world's first research lab dedicated solely to the study of the penis bird.
The lab found many interesting things. First, it was discovered that thepenis bird was actually semi-sentient. Second, the
scientists found that the meat of the penis bird was high in protein, vitamin A, vitamin B, and calcium, while low in fat,
cholestorol, and sodium. Never before had such a nutritious meal been had without supplement or fortification. The scientists of
the lab recommended immediately that the penis bird become a part of every American's daily diet.
When the news of the penis bird's usefulness reached president Rutherford B. Hayes, he was absolutely ecstatic. You see,
President Hayes owed a number of favors to Francis Zefran because as I said earlier, the penis bird plume trade was an extremely
lucrative business and Mr. Zefran was important in getting RBH elected through a number of monetary gifts. President Hayes
immediately asked Congress to pass what we all know today as the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act.
The act did a number of things to make the penis bird a daily meal, most important of which was the requirement that for every
four people in a household, one penis bird must consumed every day. Another thing the act did was create an artificial monopoly
for Francis Zefran's Penis Bird Industries. The act stated that the only supplier of penis bird meat in the US would be PBI. As
one would imagine, this quickly made Francis Zefran into the richest man in the world. He was soon a multi-billionaire
(quadrillionaire with today's inflation). Never before had a single man seen such wealth.
Many challenges were made to the Hayes/Zefran Penis Bird Consumption Act, and several even made it the Supreme Court. It was
argued that the act was unconstitutional and went against liberty itself, but once the detractors tasted delicious penis bird
meat for the first time, they immediately dropped their cases and followed the law to the letter. We all know today that penis
bird is the most delicious meat man has ever known, but at that time, the only meats people ate were pork and beef.
In the early 1970s, though, challenges to the act began again. Many argued that the monopoly given to Penis Bird Industries by
the act was in all ways unamerican. The Supreme Court finally agreed, and in 1974, Section II of the act was struck down. This
in effect opened the market to competition for all.
Today, Penis Bird Industries is almost no more. Today we have the market leader Penis Bird Meat International facing against
Penissoft, a recent startup. Where will the future lead the penis bird market? Only time will tell us, but one thing is certain:
penis birds are here to stay!
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8====D
-klerck (Reproduced by AC)
WWGS?: What Would Goatse Say?
Have you taken the Geek Purity Test lately?
http://www.armory.com/tests/geek.html
Its a bit out of date. Anyone know if there's been an update?
42 - So long and thanks for all the fish.
Right Feild
And a happy Troll Tuesday to you, sir! Great post! I hope Hemos has to take time from his kid's birthday to fix this particular weakness in the Slashcode!
That is truly a skillfully done karma whoring post. I am really quite impressed. Not only are you trying to tie two completely unrelated things (confusing tech jargon with a monopoly abuser), you actually make a valid point (mostly). Nevertheless, computers would have come to laypeople just like the television and it was really Apple and IBM that have been working to make computers as ubiquitous as the toaster.
Join Tor today!
Not very funny. YOU FAIL IT
based on your handle, i predict you will be moderated as troll or overrated at some point
true that. Slashdot moderators rarely give a shit about hte content (or even know what the hell theyre tlaking about). they've all got that first line brick wall disease where they read one line (in this case, "jerkcity troll") and make assumptions and conclusions... stupid slashbots ;)